My middle name is absolutely awful, I think I want to just drop it. My first name is going to get changed, I'm seriously considering Rain.
Last name, though. Last name is a hard call. I don't like my family and distancing myself from them further would be nice but do I really want to go that far?
I've been thinking a lot lately about changing my last name to distance myself from my family. No idea what I'd want it to be though
Not just taking your husband-to-be's last name?
Nah, I'm too possessive of my own identity for that
What about mixing them together like Jerry and Brenna Holkins did?
I thought of that briefly when I got married but mixing my (English) and my wife's (Polish) last names just sounds weird, even if it is how our university friends refer to us
Okay I feel a bit better about my name choices, then: one is an obscure video game character, another is a sci-fi movie reference and a video game character... and the third is from my first D&D character.
The 4th choice, Carrie, is obviously awesome because she was.
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
Came out to my flatmate today, because I wanted to start wearing lady clothes and makeup around the house. She was really cool about it, a mixture of "it's not a big deal" and "I get that this is totally a big deal for you". I'm super lucky to have cool people around me.
We had that discussion a while back about eggs and when you know about a person before they themselves do. Is there an etiquette to follow when pointing that out? I feel like if a friend said "it turns out I'm transgender" my response of "yeah, I figured", regardless of the politeness in my actual wording would come off as somehow know-it-all-y.
We had that discussion a while back about eggs and when you know about a person before they themselves do. Is there an etiquette to follow when pointing that out? I feel like if a friend said "it turns out I'm transgender" my response of "yeah, I figured", regardless of the politeness in my actual wording would come off as somehow know-it-all-y.
When I came out to a friend his response was basically "I'm glad you figured it out since I was pretty sure a while ago." It was reassuring for me ( validation of my feelings!) but probably because said friend is queer and has a good "radar" as they say. But I can see how different folks might react more negatively to that sort of comment.
Be supportive of them having the strength to come out, don't instantly go "called it!" or something like that. Let them talk a bit and then mention how you maybe could tell there was something there.
So for different reasons than gender I've been pondering using my middle name or a shortened version of my first name on my resume but literally all my references, school records, etc are under my full first name... does that cause problems for anyone?
someone might have answered this, but I go by my middle name and the way I was told to put this on a resume is like: Full First Name Middle Initial "Middle Name" Last Name
as to whether it causes problems it can be annoying if you're talking to someone who is looking up your information from a database or something because it's generally going to go by first name, or I get a call and I'll answer "hello this is middle name" "oh is first name there" "speaking". it's just kind of awkward but i don't think it's so unusual that anyone is actually surprised or anything
@cabsy you're occasionally going to get your name put incorrectly on a document but I've never had a problem correcting it. All my official stuff uses my first name but boone calls me it and I've never had a real problem
So for different reasons than gender I've been pondering using my middle name or a shortened version of my first name on my resume but literally all my references, school records, etc are under my full first name... does that cause problems for anyone?
someone might have answered this, but I go by my middle name and the way I was told to put this on a resume is like: Full First Name Middle Initial "Middle Name" Last Name
as to whether it causes problems it can be annoying if you're talking to someone who is looking up your information from a database or something because it's generally going to go by first name, or I get a call and I'll answer "hello this is middle name" "oh is first name there" "speaking". it's just kind of awkward but i don't think it's so unusual that anyone is actually surprised or anything
Specifically I would be doing this to avoid using my first name in favor of something more white because it would improve my job prospects
I am white, but my name isn't perceived that way, and I think it has had a negative influence in the past bc racism and people are horrible and etc
I have a question unrelated to the current topic at hand for the other trans people in this thread: are you struggling or did you struggle with what to choose as your new legal first name? Currently I'm feeling a lot of angst and anxiety over what to pick and it's literally keeping me up at night. I have a short list of names but none seem like clearly the best, most sensible, or evocative choice.
I went with the name my parents woulda' gave me if I was assigned female. Still remembered it from that one time I asked my mother when I was, like, eight years old.
She is still a big ol' stick in the mud about it. Kept asking why I didn't keep my deadname and just change a letter to feminize it (it would match my aunt's name). But, nah. I could have had a much cooler name, but I'm going to honor my parents in my own way no matter how much they complain.
I just went with a combination of things before I decided (at age 11/12) what my real name was.
But it was basically the same situation as @Dubh 's . I felt like I was tapping into something I'd had forever. A feeling akin to Deja Vu. There wasn't even anyone else in my class that had it.
So it wasn't a struggle. I just meditated... and it came from deep inside me.
If I could choose to be an anime character I would probably pick her
God, now I'm having actual second thoughts about this
EDIT: Mira could also refer to my love of XCX
I think I'm cancelling my "B" middle name plans
but I don't want to have to change my email address again
decisions...
EDIT EDIT: But Mira doesn't sound the greatest immediately following Cassandra
Dare I go for two middle names?
It doesn't? I think Cassandra Mira sounds fine.
But I'm weird, so what do I know?
It's mostly the repetition of the 'ra' sound that's throwing me off about it
maybe I could get used to it
EDIT: Okay, now that you told me it's fine I'm already more okay with it
My mom has this hangup about alliterative first/last name combos (which is like 70% of the reason why Kyrah is my middle name instead of my first name), and "Cassandra Mira" isn't triggering that sort of switch for me.
speaking of names, my nephew's name is Tadgh. and the moment i saw how it was spelled i shook my head "That kid is going to be Tad at school until he's in college."
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Hmmm. I must have a really thick skin*, I guess. Even after reading spoilers, nothing there in BOTW is really that bad IMO.
I agree with the article from LPVG. It's tricky.
*But then I have been beaten, kicked, tripped up, punched, called nearly every slur under the sun, and spat on, just for being me, for being a woman; for 'daring' to be myself... so I've just developed this tenacity over the years. Your heart can grow callouses too, when you get hurt enough times.
the fact that it didn't get under your skin doesn't make it not shitty and frankly do you not think a lot of us have also faced the exact same issues you have...??
it's definitely been the minority opinion that 'its fine' but given nintendo's track record on lgbt issues i'm not going to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I've often considered legally changing my name and adopting my husband's last name for a few reasons.
- My last name does not look Italian at all, and people have a hard time pronouncing it.
- My dad had lamented in the past that I wasn't his son. This was before a stroke and he began developing Alzheimers, so now he doesn't even remember much about me or the things he's said before.
- If I really cared, the family name already lives on with my divorced sister, and several half-brothers.
- My partner's last name is just so much easier to pronounce and say.
It'd only be a last name change, though if I were going to fill out all the documents and go through with it, I'd probably legally change my first name to a simpler spelling, too. Raphael reads more easily than Raffaele.
For those who've done it, I guess a lot of the name stuff means getting new government issued cards (social, health) and obviously new credit cards. My passport needs to be renewed in 2019 - maybe I'll do it then.
I've considered what I would pick if I gave myself a male name. Aaron feels good. But it is extremely close to my surname and I can't decide if that'd be good or bad. Kind of odd.
I was thinking of changing mine to Erin down the line. So hooray for homophone name twins!
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Also I told my parents today. They were a bit shocked and had a lot of questions but they ended by saying that they loved me and nothing would change that and that they were on our side and know that it's gonna be a rough road but we have their support.
My middle name is absolutely awful, I think I want to just drop it. My first name is going to get changed, I'm seriously considering Rain.
Last name, though. Last name is a hard call. I don't like my family and distancing myself from them further would be nice but do I really want to go that far?
I've been thinking a lot lately about changing my last name to distance myself from my family. No idea what I'd want it to be though
John Blake?
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VivixenneRemember your training, and we'll get through this just fine.Registered Userregular
So for different reasons than gender I've been pondering using my middle name or a shortened version of my first name on my resume but literally all my references, school records, etc are under my full first name... does that cause problems for anyone?
I go by my middle name professionally (registration, employment, contract) and my legal first name for most other things (i.e., medical, visas, banks). It hasn't caused problems for me (yet), but I'm in Australia, where frankly I think they prefer a name they can pronounce like my middle name rather than my Cantonese first name, so no one really kicks up a fuss.
So for different reasons than gender I've been pondering using my middle name or a shortened version of my first name on my resume but literally all my references, school records, etc are under my full first name... does that cause problems for anyone?
I go by my middle name professionally (registration, employment, contract) and my legal first name for most other things (i.e., medical, visas, banks). It hasn't caused problems for me (yet), but I'm in Australia, where frankly I think they prefer a name they can pronounce like my middle name rather than my Cantonese first name, so no one really kicks up a fuss.
I feel a bit embarrassed that I honestly can't remember your first name, because I've heard it so few times. Maybe like, at your wedding and once or twice when people have asked. :x
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What about mixing them together like Jerry and Brenna Holkins did?
I thought of that briefly when I got married but mixing my (English) and my wife's (Polish) last names just sounds weird, even if it is how our university friends refer to us
I would never name a kid after one though
How long did that take? I've tried at it a few times and it just seems so daunting.
Look, if you change your name to Donkey Kong, your kid's names are decided until you get to like 7 or 8.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
There's a difference between naming a kid John because you like Halo and naming a kid Sephiroth
but generally yeah
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Yeah that's fair
Ash is fine, but not pikachu
The 4th choice, Carrie, is obviously awesome because she was.
When I came out to a friend his response was basically "I'm glad you figured it out since I was pretty sure a while ago." It was reassuring for me ( validation of my feelings!) but probably because said friend is queer and has a good "radar" as they say. But I can see how different folks might react more negatively to that sort of comment.
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someone might have answered this, but I go by my middle name and the way I was told to put this on a resume is like: Full First Name Middle Initial "Middle Name" Last Name
as to whether it causes problems it can be annoying if you're talking to someone who is looking up your information from a database or something because it's generally going to go by first name, or I get a call and I'll answer "hello this is middle name" "oh is first name there" "speaking". it's just kind of awkward but i don't think it's so unusual that anyone is actually surprised or anything
bone one
I am a child
Specifically I would be doing this to avoid using my first name in favor of something more white because it would improve my job prospects
I am white, but my name isn't perceived that way, and I think it has had a negative influence in the past bc racism and people are horrible and etc
Boourns.
Ciaran is both Gaelic, and easy to pronounce! :hydra:
It's Caoimhín. Have a guess at how to pronounce THAT. The feminine form is Caoimhe.
3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
Cassandra Mira sounds like a badass sci-fi heroine, imo.
Is that the one that's pronounced "Keevuh"?
Well
Turns out this is the most convincing argument possible and I think I have to do it now
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Kweev'n/Kweev'ah. The stuff people attempted was always hilarious.
3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
I just went with a combination of things before I decided (at age 11/12) what my real name was.
But it was basically the same situation as @Dubh 's . I felt like I was tapping into something I'd had forever. A feeling akin to Deja Vu. There wasn't even anyone else in my class that had it.
So it wasn't a struggle. I just meditated... and it came from deep inside me.
My mom has this hangup about alliterative first/last name combos (which is like 70% of the reason why Kyrah is my middle name instead of my first name), and "Cassandra Mira" isn't triggering that sort of switch for me.
My ex being a Gaelic fangirl would get mad that I'm guessing out of nowhere but KO-min?
edit: guess that's a no.
Damn Gaelic.
Did you know who came first in this chain of names though? It's a memetic/genetic tree that stretches all the way back to the year 1900.
Read back a couple of posts.
3DS FCode: 1993-7512-8991
- My last name does not look Italian at all, and people have a hard time pronouncing it.
- My dad had lamented in the past that I wasn't his son. This was before a stroke and he began developing Alzheimers, so now he doesn't even remember much about me or the things he's said before.
- If I really cared, the family name already lives on with my divorced sister, and several half-brothers.
- My partner's last name is just so much easier to pronounce and say.
It'd only be a last name change, though if I were going to fill out all the documents and go through with it, I'd probably legally change my first name to a simpler spelling, too. Raphael reads more easily than Raffaele.
For those who've done it, I guess a lot of the name stuff means getting new government issued cards (social, health) and obviously new credit cards. My passport needs to be renewed in 2019 - maybe I'll do it then.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
I believe so yes.
I was thinking of changing mine to Erin down the line. So hooray for homophone name twins!
John Blake?
I go by my middle name professionally (registration, employment, contract) and my legal first name for most other things (i.e., medical, visas, banks). It hasn't caused problems for me (yet), but I'm in Australia, where frankly I think they prefer a name they can pronounce like my middle name rather than my Cantonese first name, so no one really kicks up a fuss.
I feel a bit embarrassed that I honestly can't remember your first name, because I've heard it so few times. Maybe like, at your wedding and once or twice when people have asked. :x
My wife straight-faced told me that if we ever have a kid, she would like to call them Ezio.
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