@Cythraul has done everything he needs to do in life other than judge this round:
The last three items on my "bucket list": Incest, Placenta polenta and Three consecutive seconds of happiness. (TheRoadVirus)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Fucking up "Silent Night" in front of 300 parents, Giving a dolphin a handjob for science and Insisting that Jesus is technically a zombie. (Anialos)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Jared's six-inch kiddie meal, A Category 5 assnado and Jeff Goldblum. (LostNinja)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Syrupy sex with a maple tree, The Hamburglar and The dentist. (Lucedes)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Overpowering your father, Advice from a wise, old black man and Eating pussy with a knife and fork. (MrTLicious)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH. (Elvenshae )
The last three items on my "bucket list": Swapping bodies with mom for a day, Scissoring and Doing the right stuff to her nipples. (see317)
If this is how @Elvenshae apologizes for fucking up what does he do to make up for the apology for fucking up?
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Quivering jowls. (LostNinja)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A night of Taco Bell and anal sex. (Lucedes)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Assless chaps. (MrTLicious)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A bigger, blacker dick. (Anialos)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Mesothelioma. (see317)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A man from Craigslist. (Cythraul)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina. (TheRoadVirus )
Go-Go-Gadget Yoga pants!
Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of Whatever you wish, mother.
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit, Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples, and, (most importantly) Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Korean Jesus.
Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster.
Cythraul (4/8)
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Frolicking and Rehab.
Science will never explain the origin of A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance.
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab.
Elvenshae (3/8)
What does Dick Cheney prefer? German dungeon porn.
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH.
LostNinja (7/8)
What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? Mr. and Mrs. Tambourine Man's jingle-jangle morning sex.
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A cock-gobbling cock-goblin!
Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza. High five, bro.
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for The creative use of a pool noodle.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Some god-damn peace and quiet by the poolside.
Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick.
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.
Lucedes (2/8)
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on A ball pit filled with testicles --forever.
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Leveling up.
MrTLicious (1/8)
Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew Full HD!
see317 (6/8)
What are my parents hiding from me? The sound of a toddler's skull cracking against the pavement.
Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of Road head.
I love the smell of An ether-soaked rag in the morning.
If you can't handle Being paralyzed from the neck down, you'd better stay away from A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Puberty?"
The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die.
TheRoadVirus (8/8)
CTV presents Mushy tushy, the story of Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.
Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
O Canada, we stand on guard for Puppies!
A disappointing birthday party. Betcha can't have just one!
I have this recurring dream where I'm A dumpster fire, and I'm giving Just the tip to The Fanta girls.
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The WNBA against The Land of Chocolate.
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary.
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina.
And with that I believe it is time for the Cards Against Humanity thread to go on hiatus. It has been a long, terrible time between Man In the Mists, TheRoadVirus and myself. There were laughs. There were tears. A great many people were offended.
Thank you everyone for playing! I will not promise to not inflict this terrible game on you again in the future.
+6
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Get the bagpipers warmed up! We are going out with a bang!
Sharing my hand:
The placenta.
Finding out that Santa isn't real.
Bowser's aching heart.
Lady Gaga.
RoboCop.
Riding off into the sunset.
Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.
Fiery poops.
Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
Being marginalized.
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.
Corn.
An unforgettable quinceanera.
No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
The black half of Barack Obama.
Running around like a guy with his chicken cut off.
Important news about Taylor Swift.
3.7 billion women.
The Hustle.
Slowly evaporating.
Had a couple of my favorite cards in my ending hand ...
MORTAL KOMBAT™.
Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
Skanky Smurf.
Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.
Ham night!
A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.
Dancing with a broom.
Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
Sperm whales.
Wink wink, nudge nudge!
A complete inability to understand anyone else's perspective.
Irony.
The harsh light of day.
The taste of human flesh.
Shapeshifters.
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
The miracle of childbirth.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
An icepick lobotomy.
Rudolph's bright red balls.
I had the first two practically the entire game, but never had a good chance to play them. There was always another card I thought was just slightly better.
I had the first two practically the entire game, but never had a good chance to play them. There was always another card I thought was just slightly better.
AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On."
Walking into a glass door.
The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
Justin Bieber.
Type 2 diabetes.
A bucket of fish heads.
The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
An Oosik, or Inuit war club made from the penis bone of a walrus.
Putting the pussy on the chainwax.
Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.
0
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Good games, folks. There were some real quality rounds
The whole goddamned thing.
A turd.
A floor that is literally made of lava.
More dots!
An actual invisible knapsack.
Using tears as lubricant.
The male gaze.
Panda sex.
Bingeing and purging.
Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.
Posts
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Additional white cards will be sent out shortly for the next round.
Round 33: The last three items on my "bucket list":_____, _____ and _____.
@Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Two people are on the verge of winning and there are a lot of blanks out there! Do not go quietly into that dark night!
The last three items on my "bucket list": Incest, Placenta polenta and Three consecutive seconds of happiness. (TheRoadVirus)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Fucking up "Silent Night" in front of 300 parents, Giving a dolphin a handjob for science and Insisting that Jesus is technically a zombie. (Anialos)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Jared's six-inch kiddie meal, A Category 5 assnado and Jeff Goldblum. (LostNinja)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Syrupy sex with a maple tree, The Hamburglar and The dentist. (Lucedes)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Overpowering your father, Advice from a wise, old black man and Eating pussy with a knife and fork. (MrTLicious)
The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH. (Elvenshae )
The last three items on my "bucket list": Swapping bodies with mom for a day, Scissoring and Doing the right stuff to her nipples. (see317)
Confusion will be my epitaph
The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH.
Confusion will be my epitaph
Round 34: When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful?
@Anialos @Cythraul @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Please do not take relationship advice from Cards Against Humanity.
this was not it
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Quivering jowls. (LostNinja)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A night of Taco Bell and anal sex. (Lucedes)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Assless chaps. (MrTLicious)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A bigger, blacker dick. (Anialos)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Mesothelioma. (see317)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A man from Craigslist. (Cythraul)
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina. (TheRoadVirus )
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
He wins again! Better update later today.
Anialos (5/8)
Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of Whatever you wish, mother.
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit, Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples, and, (most importantly) Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Korean Jesus.
Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster.
Cythraul (4/8)
Science will never explain the origin of A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance.
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab.
Elvenshae (3/8)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH.
LostNinja (7/8)
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A cock-gobbling cock-goblin!
Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza. High five, bro.
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for The creative use of a pool noodle.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Some god-damn peace and quiet by the poolside.
Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick.
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.
Lucedes (2/8)
War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Leveling up.
MrTLicious (1/8)
see317 (6/8)
Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of Road head.
I love the smell of An ether-soaked rag in the morning.
If you can't handle Being paralyzed from the neck down, you'd better stay away from A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Puberty?"
The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die.
TheRoadVirus (8/8)
Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
O Canada, we stand on guard for Puppies!
A disappointing birthday party. Betcha can't have just one!
I have this recurring dream where I'm A dumpster fire, and I'm giving Just the tip to The Fanta girls.
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The WNBA against The Land of Chocolate.
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary.
When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina.
Thank you everyone for playing! I will not promise to not inflict this terrible game on you again in the future.
The placenta.
Finding out that Santa isn't real.
Bowser's aching heart.
Lady Gaga.
RoboCop.
Riding off into the sunset.
Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.
Fiery poops.
Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
Being marginalized.
And two unused blanks.
Thanks for running the game @chamberlain .
Corn.
An unforgettable quinceanera.
No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
The black half of Barack Obama.
Running around like a guy with his chicken cut off.
Important news about Taylor Swift.
3.7 billion women.
The Hustle.
Slowly evaporating.
MORTAL KOMBAT™.
Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
Skanky Smurf.
Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.
Ham night!
A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.
Dancing with a broom.
Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
Sperm whales.
Wink wink, nudge nudge!
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Irony.
The harsh light of day.
The taste of human flesh.
Shapeshifters.
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
The miracle of childbirth.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
An icepick lobotomy.
Rudolph's bright red balls.
I had the first two practically the entire game, but never had a good chance to play them. There was always another card I thought was just slightly better.
Irony.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Walking into a glass door.
The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
Justin Bieber.
Type 2 diabetes.
A bucket of fish heads.
The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
An Oosik, or Inuit war club made from the penis bone of a walrus.
Putting the pussy on the chainwax.
Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.
The whole goddamned thing.
A turd.
A floor that is literally made of lava.
More dots!
An actual invisible knapsack.
Using tears as lubricant.
The male gaze.
Panda sex.
Bingeing and purging.
Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.