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Career Change. Need advice
Luella
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Okay. I need help. I have a Bachelors in Accounting. I knew when I was studying the field I hated it. However, I thought once I got started in my career, I would learn more, adapt and it wouldn't be so bad. Turns out, it's bad. So I got my degree in 2012. I worked at a temp agency for six months then landed a job at a large utility company. I hated it. Not only did I hate it, I'm bad at it. I am an analyst and I can't analyze anything. Every day I am just overwhelmed because I fear people are going to figure out I know nothing about accounting and I've tried. I have no motivation to learn accounting at all. I have to google if revenues are credits or debits every day almost. So I spent about two years at this utility company and then moved into auditing. Realized I hated that more than what I was doing at the utility company (SEC financial statements) and went back to that big utility company. About three years later, again I was ready to drive my car into a median on the highway. I have severe depression and anxiety and I know this affects me a ton. However, I took a 6 week FMLA and all my depression and anxiety went away. No cocktail of medicines has ever been able to do that. I think I need to get out of accounting permanently. I even left that utility company for the second time and landed a supposedly less stressful job at a smaller company about two months ago. None of it is less stressful. The guy who got me here, the controller, said he was going to train me and help me along. Well, instead of doing that he quit on my second week. Now I'm trying to maintain reports of his I have no idea what they mean and I can see the end is coming. Basically, I feel incompetent. I cry at work nearly every day. I hate waking up because I don't want to be here. The problem is I make decent money, 63K. I can afford to live off less but I'm not sure how much less. I want to say 45K would be my minimum but all I have is a degree in a field that makes me miserable. I've thought about going back to school but what for? I am thinking about maybe going for an associates degree in physical therapy assistant but where I am this degree has a two year wait list before you ever start the program. Once you start, you cannot work full time. But I feel like no matter what I try or do, I fail. I'm not good enough to survive on my own. I actually find myself wishing anyone would just marry me so I don't have to take care of myself. I have really no interests and I never have. In my spare time I binge watch tv and try not to think about how whatever I do I'm making more mistakes that I can't dig myself out of. Basically, I'm stuck, confused and scared. So very very scared of messing up my future, my ability to retire, and keeping on this path of miserableness. I'm 28 and I wish I knew I was going to die in a few years so I could just say screw it, withdraw all my savings and live life like I want for three years without working. The silly thing is, I don't think I'd be happy doing that either. I have seen psychologist and psychiatrists for the majority of my life. None of it has helped. I'm lost. Help.
Update: I do see a therapist regularly. However, the amount of help he provides is minimal. I am scared that leaving accounting is a mistake as I make money but I hate my life here. The other issue is I have no idea what interests me. I have volunteered. I am taking a class this fall. I ask people what they do and how they figured out that's what they wanted. I just have no idea what I like and I never have. How do you figure out your interests? It's like I've been on an autopilot life just going wherever made sense at the time and I'm left wishing I could start over but no idea what I'd start over with.
Update: I don't want to do accounting anymore. I have a plan to go back to school to pursue an associates degree in Physical Therapist Assistant. However, in order to get through school I need a part time job. I have had little to no success finding that job. I think it is because I am paid way more than any of the jobs I'm applying to pay. I don't know how to get around this short of knowing someone (which I don't) to get a foot in the door. Any one have any ideas on how to find a low paying job when you make way too much money to be considered?
Update: I do see a therapist regularly. However, the amount of help he provides is minimal. I am scared that leaving accounting is a mistake as I make money but I hate my life here. The other issue is I have no idea what interests me. I have volunteered. I am taking a class this fall. I ask people what they do and how they figured out that's what they wanted. I just have no idea what I like and I never have. How do you figure out your interests? It's like I've been on an autopilot life just going wherever made sense at the time and I'm left wishing I could start over but no idea what I'd start over with.
Update: I don't want to do accounting anymore. I have a plan to go back to school to pursue an associates degree in Physical Therapist Assistant. However, in order to get through school I need a part time job. I have had little to no success finding that job. I think it is because I am paid way more than any of the jobs I'm applying to pay. I don't know how to get around this short of knowing someone (which I don't) to get a foot in the door. Any one have any ideas on how to find a low paying job when you make way too much money to be considered?
Luella on
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Keep in mind that the 50k rate is mid-career assuming you stay at the same hospital. Most make ~32k (national average) entry level with average growth about $500 a year without additional credentialing. So it is something to consider if the money is a big concern.
How/if you change your career is up to you, but if you are shopping for that path the link in my previous post goes to what my suggestions would be for feeling out what career field might be a good fit.
Re: the rest. Internet strangers cannot help you with the other problems.
Therapists help tremendously with brain issues. You can say it's their specialty. Meds are only so effective, and less effective than therapy. Best to combine both as needed, but if you only get one therapy is the best to get.
I'm a top expert in my sub speciality and I feel utterly incompetent. The secret I've learnt is that most accountants are mediocre, the only difference between me and them is I recognize it so I try harder to improve myself and have a plan. You're not likely to get found out as some imposter because most people skill wise are likely the same as you or worse. You wouldn't have gotten hired back at the utility if you were bad.
While accounting can be quite stressful, you need to recognize that most jobs have stress so switching careers may help but it's unlikely to make anxiety if this level disappear. Therapy is very useful and if you are physically able you should be doing some sort of exercise as it's often helpful with lowering stress.
I know you've tried some other places for accounting in an attempt to find a less stressful environment but there are still others you can try without the expense of going back to school. If you have a designation the accounting body hires accountants for community management or marketing and schools often hire accounts with designations as instructors without requiring a masters or phd. If you don't have a designation, many large organizations hire accountants to write financial policies and design internal controls. These are often lower stress than jobs that require you to deal with reports and financials. You could also look into managerial accounting instead of financial accounting as most of your jobs seem related to financial accounting. Basically accounting is a very broad field and you can find jobs that require you to know less rules which seems to be part of what is stressing you out about it.
If you have a dream job then ignore all that, life is short.
Even if you want to switch to a different industry, most government agencies have a high need for accountants. Check out Usajobs.gov.
The reason I got hired back at the utility company was because I basically begged. The only reason it worked there was because they knew I was incompetent and accepted it. I regret leaving, even though I was staring down a barrel of a gun there so to speak. But I agree, the training is horrible and without training I'm useless. I've worked in auditing (with controls and was no good at it - I feel like you have to love accounting to care about internal controls), financial reporting and general accounting. I hated them all. Felt incompetent at them all. Is there an accounting place where I will be trained and someone reviews my work? That's where I need to be if it exists. I also need a place that isn't trying to project me to the top of the food chain. I don't now or ever want to be a controller. I don't even ever want to be a Senior which is my title right now and I wish it wasn't. I am okay with a pay cut. I'll take any pay cut to not feel like this. I cry every day. It's just too much.
I know a number of people in accounting and related fields (AP, Payroll, etc.) who are borderline incompetent. These are nice people though, so they're not at constant risk of losing their jobs. Even some middle management people aren't incredibly competent, though they do often work hard.
Good companies set their employees up to be successful. When changes happen, like a new process of some sort there is plenty of help and training to make sure everyone is comfortable and on board. It just sounds to me like you need to find a different job, even if its still within accounting. Maybe something in AP would be both less demanding and pay less than your current job if that's what you want.
Island Name: Felinefine
With a degree in accounting fresh out of college with no experience starting pay is $45k in rural Mississippi and $50-$55k in major cities in the southeast.
Island Name: Felinefine
Ive worked with a lot of non-accountants and seen their work and my conclusion is that this isn't specifically an accounting problem.
Unfortunately good reviewing, coaching and training is done by a minority of supervisors and managers. Its very team specific and you can be on a horrible team while your coworker beside you is on an amazing one. If you really want that, you're going to have to base it on the individuals instead of the organization or the industry. You need to hit up your own network to try to find out what individuals you should try to go work for. The risk though as you've seen is you can go to work for someone that isn't there long.
Getting pushed to the top will happen if you show competence. You can derail that a little without sucking by making it clear that you aren't looking to take on greater levels of responsibility for x years. I would say x years instead of never, it tends to go over better and can make you seem quite responsible.
Accounting life is so high stress with analytical thinking (not a strong suit for me) that I don't know how to deal with the day to day. For clarity this barista position is not at a starbucks. It's a locally owned company in my home town and isn't super busy like more popular coffee chains. I just want someone's opinion. I can't trust my own.
Island Name: Felinefine
Generally nobody is naturally good at something, they either like doing that something enough that they train or practice until they get good or they give up and find the thing too hard and uninteresting to invest the time in. Usually what we see as natural affinities towards certain tasks (like math or writing or art) are just long-term interest in development through k-12 education outpacing the standard competency through personal development and interest. In a lot of ways, figuring out these questions are why colleges require the general education program basic courses across disciplines in your first and second years, to give you a taste of a wide range of skills and fields so you can consider which ones you find interesting enough to focus on.
Beyond that, probably the only answer is going to be legwork and a lot of it on your side of things. Take MOOC (massive online open courses) programming through various major universities in fields that you think might be interesting, study up on your own in various fields. Make your hobby trying out other things.
On a personal note, I was always interested in art and wasn't at all good. Back in about 2006 I started doodling in sketchbooks here and there and was absolutely terrible. Over time, though, I got a bit better. I'm still crap compared to the great pro talents, but compared to 10 years ago I'm making professional grade stuff and have had people complain to me that "well it's easy for you to say just to go work at it, you're naturally good at this stuff!" Which infuriates me, because I've spent thousands upon thousands of hours a year working at it just to make it this far.
The same is true with your work. You likely have developed above average skill in mathematics and analytics assessment for your accounting job, mostly through hard work and time. What else would you find interesting enough to spend an equal amount of time doing (and to an extent you don't mind not getting paid at all, or remotely as well as you make now, for the next 5-10 years of development)? Only you can answer that.
If it makes you feel any better, in my previous positions I only felt I knew what I was doing 3-5 years in, and even then would find new things I didn't know every week.
Don't put the previous job on the resume you give them. You don't have to put your entire work history on your resume or make a general resume, tailor it to the position. If you think they aren't hiring you because of previous pay you can just tell them you were in school.
Food service is great for turning off your brain, but there is nothing more grueling than dealing with customer facing retail/food positions, so if you are looking for less stress, or dont like talking to people, I dont recommend it. I was good at being in service, but it took a considerable amount of steeling myself against my anxiety.
I suggest trying to find something local and co-op oriented if your area has those sorts of things. If you can find a business that's small, needs people who can wear a few hats, and might better understand why someone would want to make a quality of life choice for a career change, that might be a good option. Its also the season of holiday work, so stocking jobs might pop up in your area, which maybe worth looking into.
Also, if your therapist is not helping you work through your existential crisis, I think it's worthwhile to investigate finding a new one.