So when I graduated it took me a while to find my first coding job, but I finally got hired! I was super excited - it's a small startup, 6 people total, 3 other coders. I was expecting the usual startup culture - you know, desks made from doors, working out of a rented house, long hours etc, but some things are really starting to get to me. I'm the only woman on the team, and there's a culture of hanging out and drinking and playing games late into the evening and having poolside barbecues and horsing around. It's like there's a party almost every night, and they're heavy drinking, but it's always billed as a work event. There are lots of other people, mostly in the neighborhood tech scene, who come over, but very few other women, and I feel like it's super awkward. I've tried to make excuses, but there's pressure to 'show up to work meetings', and they were certainly clear that there would be meetings and events outside normal work hours. How should I respond to this? I don't want to get fired or offend anyone, but it's really not my scene.