I'm back at work after almost two weeks paid time off (courtesy of Hurricane Irma). After much rest and relaxation, I figured I would be nice and rested to get back into the swing of things.
Instead, it's barely past Tuesday and I'm all stressed out and lacking in energy/tired. You could probably chalk that up to my body needing to get used to performing in "working mode" again, but I also know that I'm affected by the same anxious thoughts that have been hitting me often since I started this job: this isn't what I want to do with my life.
Unfortunately, I'm still far from deciding what I do
want to do with a long-term career. I've posted thread about it...over and over again. But I think the problem with my previous inquiries is that I've been too narrow-minded, when I could probably compress everything down to the basic things I would want out of a potential long-term job.
And I'm pretty much convinced that the one thing I want more than anything is to be creative
. I want to be imaginative, I want to dream, and I want to leave my mark in history. I want other people to see my input and....well, not even like it necessarily, but to acknowledge it
. This was a thing that only I could do....a stark opposite to my current job, which I honestly feel that anyone with a high-school degree and a clean record could be doing.
I've dabbled in lots of personal stuff during my off-time: videogame reviews, short stories, podcasting, blog articles, video editing, cooking, even looking to draw soon (or at least learn the basic elements). I've never stayed with something long enough to "perfect" it, but these elements all have the same thing in common: creativity.
So what's holding me back? Frankly, the one thing I appreciate the most about my current job: security
. They coined the term "starving artist" for a reason, and I've heard plenty of horror stories that have kept me from wanting to pursue certain careers, such as the crunch time that videogame developers have to suffer through, or how a part-time college professor is 99% where most filmmaking majors end up, or how you can forget about ever raising a family when you need to be sleeping in your office desk most of the time, or how you live and die through commision, etc.
I'm sure some of you will say that such remarks are overexaggerating, or that times have changed. Well, that's why I want to know what kind of creative-focused jobs are out there and can be accomplished by human beings without metaphorically whipping them in the back. If I could mention the ideal of a dream job, it would be something that let's me be creative (not even the lead, just someone who gets to think up and contribute to something, whether a massive project or a small independant creation), but also has stable hours and job security. If I can even work some or all of the time at home, that would be even better (I hate driving and I especially hate the morning commute, no matter what I'm doing or where I'm living. I do it if I have to, but I just wanted to mention that).
I have a bad habit of dreaming big, such as a director or head writer, when there are probably lots of realistic careers that are small in scope but also slipping through my fingers unbeknowst. For the purpose of educating myself, and hopefully even motivate
me, I would just like to know what's out there. Doesn't have to be a specific field, but I love videogames, movies, animation and comics like the next person. The more I know, the better.