you must have some very strange social dynamics if that would be embarrassing between friends.
in my group the rifle comment could be met with "yeah, you would, faggot" and he'd shoot us a pretend-angry glare and make some disparaging comment about how at least he gets some ass and then we'd all laugh.
Sounds like you have issues about your gay friend if you can't joke around with him the same way as your other friends. I have yet to meet a gay person be offended by his/her friend making a joke about them being gay. Nearly all of them will just make a joke about you being straight in response. And I live in one of the highest gay populations in the US.
Most of us are just a bunch of fucking breeders anyways.
This one goes under "strange" and is quite long, so for the sake of the scroll bar I will spoiler it...
This is when I was still at "American Pharmacy".
I get called over to do a refund for a lady in cosmetics. The lady is probably in her early-to-mid 50's, and she wants to return some makeup. Only she has no volume control. Now, I'm a loud guy, but I can generally dial it down a notch. This lady, not so much. Throughout this whole situation, she is basically yelling at the top of her lungs. She's not angry, she's just got it dialed to 11.
Me: What can I do for you?
Lady: I NEED TO RETURN THIS MAKEUP BECAUSE IT'S THE WRONG COLOR.
Me: (after smoothing my face back into place after the sonic assault I just experienced) Okay. Did you want to get something else?
Lady: THE LADY GAVE ME BEIGE, BUT I NEED SUPER BEIGE. IT WAS A LADY THAT WORKS IN THIS DEPARTMENT. SHE SAID SHE WAS GIVING ME SUPER BEIGE, BUT I GOT BEIGE IN MY BAG DO YOU KNOW THE LADY THAT WORKS IN THIS DEPARTMENT?
(Keep in mind that at this WAG, only women work in the cosmetics department and there were only 2 cosmeticians that work during the day when this lady said she came in.)
Me: Um, yes, but I'm not sure which...
Lady: WELL, I TOLD HER THIS COLOR, BUT SHE GAVE ME THE OTHER COLOR. MY DAUGHTER SAID I SHOULD GO WITH THIS COLOR BLAH BLAH WORDS THAT ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE TRANSACTION BLAH BLAH...
Meanwhile, her 30-something Hispanic son/boyfriend/manservant/whatever stood by silent. I was really confused about his relationship to this lady who looked like George Costanza's mother. The kicker was that this guy was wearing a hearing aid that was connected to something on his belt by a cord. I can only assumed that this lady's voiced has deafened him over time.
Not that a slightly different shade of beige would matter to this lady's appearance since her makeup was done in a style similar to Marge's face in the Simpsons' episode where Homer invents the makeup gun, but I digress.
At any rate, I get her exchange taken care of, and I go about my business, thinking that my business with this crazy lady is concluded.
I was not so lucky.
About five minutes later, I got paged to the Hallmark aisle for customer assistance. I round the corner, and it's the same lady!
Lady: I HAVE A 15-YEAR OLD MALE RELATIVE WHO IS GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE. DO YOU HAVE ANY "GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE" CARDS?
Me: Ummm...is that like Confirmation? We have all of the graduation and confirmation cards down here in this special section.
Lady: NO, THE CARDS ARE RIGHT HERE!
Me: Yes, I understand ma'am, but there are more "religious celebration" cards down in this section.
Lady: I NEED A CARD THAT TALKS ABOUT GOD BUT NOT JESUS. I'M GOING TO PUT MONEY IN IT. I DON'T THINK THE JEWS BELIEVE IN JESUS, AND I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE. DO JEWS BELIEVE IN JESUS?
Me: Um, I don't believe so ma'am...
Lady: I NEED TO FIND A GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE CARD. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO A CARD STORE. I HAVE TO BE THERE BY 5 P.M.
(Current time: 1:00 p.m. Unless this church/temple/synagogue/altar of evil is somewhere two states over, there has to be an actual card store between WAG and this event)
Lady: DO YOU HAVE ANY CARDS THAT TALK ABOUT GOD BUT NOT JESUS?
Me: (after scouring all of the confirmation, bat and bar mitzah cards looking for a pro-God, anti-Jesus card for the event of "graduating from temple", I got nothing) Doesn't look like it ma'am. Maybe you could just get a "congratulations" card instead?
Lady: OK, I'LL JUST DO THAT.
I grab a "Good Luck, wind beneath my wings, God-speed, Little Doodle" card and hand it to her, thinking that I finally got her and Manuel out of my life. I get called to do another refund in cosmetics, which is fairly close to the card aisle.
As I am doing the refund, I hear that the lady has ambushed the pharmacist on duty to continue Temple Graduation Card Hunt 2007 in my absence.
Pharmacist: This lady needs your help in the card aisle.
Me: Sigh.
Lady: I NEED A CONGRATULATIONS CARD THAT IS BLANK ON THE INSIDE. I WANT TO WRITE MY OWN MESSAGE.
Keep in mind that most greeting cards have an entire interior left side that's blank, so even if there is a message, unless you're re-writing War and Peace, you should have plenty of room.
After several more minutes of scouring, I find a hideous lime green and navy blue card that says "Congratulations" on the front and blank on the inside.
Lady: OH, IS THIS ALL YOU HAVE? I DON'T KNOW IF HE'LL LIKE THIS.
Me: Ma'am, I'm not going to lie to you: if your relative is 15, male, and American, and there's money in this thing, he's not going to care what the card looks like.
Lady: OH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL JUST TAKE THIS ONE. I NEED TO HURRY TO TEMPLE.
I've spoken to some people who were Jewish since then. Even they have no idea what this lady is talking about, unless he is a wunderkind who graduated early from Temple University and hates Jesus.
This conversation is neither strange nor embarrassing. Fucking quit it.
Yesterday, we took a late lunch and came out of the restaurant to find a bunch of kids had left school already and were hanging outside of a coffee shop. One little kid (probably 10) started walking backwards and tripped over one of our feet as we were walking forward. He almost fell over and all the kids laughed at him. The loudest laughter of all was coming from a guy in our lunch party. Who is 31. *shakes head*
This conversation is neither strange nor embarrassing. Fucking quit it.
Yesterday, we took a late lunch and came out of the restaurant to find a bunch of kids had left school already and were hanging outside of a coffee shop. One little kid (probably 10) started walking backwards and tripped over one of our feet as we were walking forward. He almost fell over and all the kids laughed at him. The loudest laughter of all was coming from a guy in our lunch party. Who is 31. *shakes head*
Last year, I went to the washroom at the mall and I forgot to do up my fly after using the urinal. I was wearing this old pair of boxers that lost the button on the front of them so I suddenly realized as I was walking through the foodcourt that not only was my fly open, but part of my...package...could be seen if someone noticed that my fly was wide open.
Last year, I went to the washroom at the mall and I forgot to do up my fly after using the urinal. I was wearing this old pair of boxers that lost the button on the front of them so I suddenly realized as I was walking through the foodcourt that not only was my fly open, but part of my...package...could be seen if someone noticed that my fly was wide open.
This is both my greatest fear and biggest dream. Fear of getting arrested for indecent exposure, Dream for having the woman in the nearby area drop to their knees.
Last year, I went to the washroom at the mall and I forgot to do up my fly after using the urinal. I was wearing this old pair of boxers that lost the button on the front of them so I suddenly realized as I was walking through the foodcourt that not only was my fly open, but part of my...package...could be seen if someone noticed that my fly was wide open.
This is both my greatest fear and biggest dream. Fear of getting arrested for indecent exposure, Dream for having the woman in the nearby area drop to their knees.
Last year, I went to the washroom at the mall and I forgot to do up my fly after using the urinal. I was wearing this old pair of boxers that lost the button on the front of them so I suddenly realized as I was walking through the foodcourt that not only was my fly open, but part of my...package...could be seen if someone noticed that my fly was wide open.
This is both my greatest fear and biggest dream. Fear of getting arrested for indecent exposure, Dream for having the woman in the nearby area drop to their knees.
Is the stench really that bad?
I'm sorry.
A little.
I didn't hear any complaints from your mom last night.
Last year, I went to the washroom at the mall and I forgot to do up my fly after using the urinal. I was wearing this old pair of boxers that lost the button on the front of them so I suddenly realized as I was walking through the foodcourt that not only was my fly open, but part of my...package...could be seen if someone noticed that my fly was wide open.
This is both my greatest fear and biggest dream. Fear of getting arrested for indecent exposure, Dream for having the woman in the nearby area drop to their knees.
Is the stench really that bad?
I'm sorry.
A little.
I didn't hear any complaints from your mom last night.
Posts
in my group the rifle comment could be met with "yeah, you would, faggot" and he'd shoot us a pretend-angry glare and make some disparaging comment about how at least he gets some ass and then we'd all laugh.
You prick.
First off fuck you
secondly thats the one group of comments we avoid when hes there so ya >_>
and what are the chances any of you would meet him???
also hes already openly admitted it
Wow. Over-reaction to clear sarcasm much? L2Forums, friend of a gay person.
Have you heard of jokes?
Most of us are just a bunch of fucking breeders anyways.
:P
Yeah what Richy said. You mean you go on forums and you DON'T have that extension? What, have you been living in a cave?
O_o
I never finish anyth
2. FF fucks up on my computer all the time, even after i uninstal and reinstal it
Edit: BTW I use Opera cuz IE blows
No, it's real. Just got updated last week or so.
I keep having a problem with it though, it seems to want to label everything as sarcasm. Any way to fix it?
It's working fine. You're doing a great job.
What??
I get called over to do a refund for a lady in cosmetics. The lady is probably in her early-to-mid 50's, and she wants to return some makeup. Only she has no volume control. Now, I'm a loud guy, but I can generally dial it down a notch. This lady, not so much. Throughout this whole situation, she is basically yelling at the top of her lungs. She's not angry, she's just got it dialed to 11.
Me: What can I do for you?
Lady: I NEED TO RETURN THIS MAKEUP BECAUSE IT'S THE WRONG COLOR.
Me: (after smoothing my face back into place after the sonic assault I just experienced) Okay. Did you want to get something else?
Lady: THE LADY GAVE ME BEIGE, BUT I NEED SUPER BEIGE. IT WAS A LADY THAT WORKS IN THIS DEPARTMENT. SHE SAID SHE WAS GIVING ME SUPER BEIGE, BUT I GOT BEIGE IN MY BAG DO YOU KNOW THE LADY THAT WORKS IN THIS DEPARTMENT?
(Keep in mind that at this WAG, only women work in the cosmetics department and there were only 2 cosmeticians that work during the day when this lady said she came in.)
Me: Um, yes, but I'm not sure which...
Lady: WELL, I TOLD HER THIS COLOR, BUT SHE GAVE ME THE OTHER COLOR. MY DAUGHTER SAID I SHOULD GO WITH THIS COLOR BLAH BLAH WORDS THAT ARE NOT IMPORTANT TO THE TRANSACTION BLAH BLAH...
Meanwhile, her 30-something Hispanic son/boyfriend/manservant/whatever stood by silent. I was really confused about his relationship to this lady who looked like George Costanza's mother. The kicker was that this guy was wearing a hearing aid that was connected to something on his belt by a cord. I can only assumed that this lady's voiced has deafened him over time.
Not that a slightly different shade of beige would matter to this lady's appearance since her makeup was done in a style similar to Marge's face in the Simpsons' episode where Homer invents the makeup gun, but I digress.
At any rate, I get her exchange taken care of, and I go about my business, thinking that my business with this crazy lady is concluded.
I was not so lucky.
About five minutes later, I got paged to the Hallmark aisle for customer assistance. I round the corner, and it's the same lady!
Lady: I HAVE A 15-YEAR OLD MALE RELATIVE WHO IS GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE. DO YOU HAVE ANY "GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE" CARDS?
Me: Ummm...is that like Confirmation? We have all of the graduation and confirmation cards down here in this special section.
Lady: NO, THE CARDS ARE RIGHT HERE!
Me: Yes, I understand ma'am, but there are more "religious celebration" cards down in this section.
Lady: I NEED A CARD THAT TALKS ABOUT GOD BUT NOT JESUS. I'M GOING TO PUT MONEY IN IT. I DON'T THINK THE JEWS BELIEVE IN JESUS, AND I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE. DO JEWS BELIEVE IN JESUS?
Me: Um, I don't believe so ma'am...
Lady: I NEED TO FIND A GRADUATING FROM TEMPLE CARD. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO TO A CARD STORE. I HAVE TO BE THERE BY 5 P.M.
(Current time: 1:00 p.m. Unless this church/temple/synagogue/altar of evil is somewhere two states over, there has to be an actual card store between WAG and this event)
Lady: DO YOU HAVE ANY CARDS THAT TALK ABOUT GOD BUT NOT JESUS?
Me: (after scouring all of the confirmation, bat and bar mitzah cards looking for a pro-God, anti-Jesus card for the event of "graduating from temple", I got nothing) Doesn't look like it ma'am. Maybe you could just get a "congratulations" card instead?
Lady: OK, I'LL JUST DO THAT.
I grab a "Good Luck, wind beneath my wings, God-speed, Little Doodle" card and hand it to her, thinking that I finally got her and Manuel out of my life. I get called to do another refund in cosmetics, which is fairly close to the card aisle.
As I am doing the refund, I hear that the lady has ambushed the pharmacist on duty to continue Temple Graduation Card Hunt 2007 in my absence.
Pharmacist: This lady needs your help in the card aisle.
Me: Sigh.
Lady: I NEED A CONGRATULATIONS CARD THAT IS BLANK ON THE INSIDE. I WANT TO WRITE MY OWN MESSAGE.
Keep in mind that most greeting cards have an entire interior left side that's blank, so even if there is a message, unless you're re-writing War and Peace, you should have plenty of room.
After several more minutes of scouring, I find a hideous lime green and navy blue card that says "Congratulations" on the front and blank on the inside.
Lady: OH, IS THIS ALL YOU HAVE? I DON'T KNOW IF HE'LL LIKE THIS.
Me: Ma'am, I'm not going to lie to you: if your relative is 15, male, and American, and there's money in this thing, he's not going to care what the card looks like.
Lady: OH, I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. I'LL JUST TAKE THIS ONE. I NEED TO HURRY TO TEMPLE.
I've spoken to some people who were Jewish since then. Even they have no idea what this lady is talking about, unless he is a wunderkind who graduated early from Temple University and hates Jesus.
This conclusion makes more sense than anything I've been able to come up with.
no u
hehe u r kewl
Edit: and capital letters.
And here I thought I didn't have english 'til next semester...
Yesterday, we took a late lunch and came out of the restaurant to find a bunch of kids had left school already and were hanging outside of a coffee shop. One little kid (probably 10) started walking backwards and tripped over one of our feet as we were walking forward. He almost fell over and all the kids laughed at him. The loudest laughter of all was coming from a guy in our lunch party. Who is 31. *shakes head*
http://forums.penny-arcade.com/announcement.php?f=20&a=12
Bwahahaha!
Turns out I missed the first part where the guy said, "I have it written on my schedule..."
This is both my greatest fear and biggest dream. Fear of getting arrested for indecent exposure, Dream for having the woman in the nearby area drop to their knees.
Is the stench really that bad?
I'm sorry.
A little.
I didn't hear any complaints from your mom last night.
...Wow good comeback >_>