As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

Butter Battle [chat]

17879818384100

Posts

  • Options
    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Ludious wrote: »
    Jenna Marbles was shilling popsockets a long time ago. It's not an old person thing. I mean who are you going to believe, me or the guy calling me old who goes to barbershop quartet practice

    Barbershop quartets are old enough they became cool again like record players.

  • Options
    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    Ludious wrote: »
    Jenna Marbles was shilling popsockets a long time ago. It's not an old person thing. I mean who are you going to believe, me or the guy calling me old who goes to barbershop quartet practice
    The only people I know who have them are olds, like myself. So yeah, believe the card-carrying olds person (it gets me the early bird special discount at the HoJos!). :D All the actual youfs and millennials who aren't old yet would rather suffer through cracked screens and repeatedly dropping their phone.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • Options
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    Variable wrote: »
    my phone is very cracked now but the screen is fine so whatever! I dropped it in the shower the other day, that sucked. down from on top of the door to get in, like 7 feet straight onto its face into the water and it's fine, how can I complain.
    VARIABLE YOU ARE MY BROTHER

  • Options
    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    variable if you weren't jerking it in the shower you wouldn't have banged the door and smashed your phone.

    Jerking it: not even once.

  • Options
    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    At birthing class they were like hey y'all the cord actually tough and thick it's kind of like cutting through a garden hose

    He was probably chomping on it a while they just cut that part

  • Options
    y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    EAST COAST
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Omg Ragnar just cut the umbilical cord of his new malformed son with his TEETH

    Tom green did this years ago

    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • Options
    y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Then he swung the baby around the room by the cord, placenta and blood spraying everywhere

    The baby was fine

    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
  • Options
    VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    spool32 wrote: »
    variable if you weren't jerking it in the shower you wouldn't have banged the door and smashed your phone.

    Jerking it: not even once.

    was always way too much struggle for me in the shower, not worth

    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • Options
    TTODewbackTTODewback Puts the drawl in ya'll I think I'm in HellRegistered User regular
    edited October 2017
    Ludious wrote: »
    Jenna Marbles was shilling popsockets a long time ago. It's not an old person thing. I mean who are you going to believe, me or the guy calling me old who goes to barbershop quartet practice

    I only know Jenna Marbles because of her adorably ugly dogs

    TTODewback on
    Bless your heart.
  • Options
    kedinikkedinik Captain of Industry Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    Ok but seriously though I haven't heard very many anecdotes from friends about how porn ruined their sex lives -- the two I've heard are spool and now EM

    TBH, much more often, I've basically seen it used as a talking point of fundies who think everyone should be Christian and prude

    Personally,
    masturbating to porn is like a chore to do when I'm horny, and I've never felt like it interfered with my sex life

    kedinik on
    I made a game! Hotline Maui. Requires mouse and keyboard.
  • Options
    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Joke option Country Crock
    i made dinner plans but gosh a nap sounds so great

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    OrphaneOrphane rivers of red that run to seaRegistered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    I have hella dry skin and I usually masturbate without lube and I still don't get chafed unless I'm going on a marathon session

    In my teens after the 8th time in a weekend, yeah I'd get a little raw

    same here

    like yeah when you've been going at it for like 5 hrs without lube then maybe some lotion/lube helps or you just stop jacking it

    but i'd never heard of someone who just starts off chafing their dick

  • Options
    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    Seriously, though. Pop sockets are everywhere. They sit right next to the fidget spinners.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    y2jake215 wrote: »
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Omg Ragnar just cut the umbilical cord of his new malformed son with his TEETH

    Tom green did this years ago

    And here my wife gives me shit for opening creamer foil with my teeth.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    you gotta move it real fast like you're trying to start a fire on a survivor challenge

  • Options
    AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    WEST COAST
    according to my evangelical upbringing--which has never been wrong about anything else, no--jerking it makes you a deviant incapable of experiencing love

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • Options
    BeNarwhalBeNarwhal The Work Left Unfinished Registered User regular
    kedinik wrote: »
    I don't see the problem with expectations adjusting over time based on porn; then you just need to go out and have a pornographically good sex life

    The problem begins the very moment I pull down my pants

    Or lift up my shirt

    Or expose my body to the harsh light of day in any way

  • Options
    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    WEST COAST
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CZCKP-H4C8

    This song has been in my head lately. Actually reminds me of the Rubaiyat in a few places.

  • Options
    BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    according to my evangelical upbringing--which has never been wrong about anything else, no--jerking it makes you a deviant incapable of experiencing love

    Ooooh, so that's why

  • Options
    SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    Variable wrote: »
    it's water proof so I listen to things in the shower

    the only problem is if I puit it IN the shower on a surface the speaker can be blocked with water and the sound gets real soft, so on top of the door I can hear it in the shower and it gets less wet

    it never fell before but this was only probably the 4th time I put it up there
    Shoulda been propping it.

    *does a kickflip, grabs giant pop socket on skateboard and walks off*

  • Options
    cptruggedcptrugged I think it has something to do with free will. Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    TTODewback wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    Jenna Marbles was shilling popsockets a long time ago. It's not an old person thing. I mean who are you going to believe, me or the guy calling me old who goes to barbershop quartet practice

    I only know Jenna Marbles because of her adorably ugly dogs

    My ex liked her videos a lot. I watched a couple of choice ones. She's got some good comedy.

  • Options
    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Royal marriage alliances sure do tend to solve a lot of tricky problems

  • Options
    HerrCronHerrCron It that wickedly supports taxation Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote: »
    according to my evangelical upbringing--which has never been wrong about anything else, no--jerking it makes you a deviant incapable of experiencing love

    Hmmm.......

    Yeah, checks out.

    sig.gif
  • Options
    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    Aioua wrote: »
    according to my evangelical upbringing--which has never been wrong about anything else, no--jerking it makes you a deviant incapable of experiencing love
    This is just correlation, not causation. Everyone jerks it AND everyone is a deviant incapable of experiencing love. It's one of the central tenets of Christianity! "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God", etc.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • Options
    FeralFeral MEMETICHARIZARD interior crocodile alligator ⇔ ǝɹʇɐǝɥʇ ǝᴉʌoɯ ʇǝloɹʌǝɥɔ ɐ ǝʌᴉɹp ᴉRegistered User regular
    WEST COAST
    If you're getting chafed, try switching from popping your socket to fidgeting your spinner.

    Y'know, mix it up a little.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.

    the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
  • Options
    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    kedinik wrote: »
    Ok but seriously though I haven't heard very many anecdotes from friends about how porn ruined their sex lives -- the two I've heard are spool and now EM

    Personally,
    masturbating to porn is like a chore to do when I'm horny, and I've never felt like it interfered with my sex life

    point of order: my issue was not porn-related. Stress outlet leading to addictive behavior leading to wildly diminished sex life and performance issues that were very embarrassing to admit to, leading to further more obvious addictive behavior and diminished enjoyment and a generally bad spiral downward into badness.

    Put the wang down.

  • Options
    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Royal marriage alliances sure do tend to solve a lot of tricky problems

    Marrying your relatives tends to lead to these issues.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
  • Options
    CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    EAST COAST
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    according to my evangelical upbringing--which has never been wrong about anything else, no--jerking it makes you a deviant incapable of experiencing love
    This is just correlation, not causation. Everyone jerks it AND everyone is a deviant incapable of experiencing love. It's one of the central tenets of Christianity! "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God", etc.

    Everybody being a weird deviant is why God condones marriage. Only way to tamp doen on it.

    Couscous on
  • Options
    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    spool32 wrote: »
    kedinik wrote: »
    Ok but seriously though I haven't heard very many anecdotes from friends about how porn ruined their sex lives -- the two I've heard are spool and now EM

    Personally,
    masturbating to porn is like a chore to do when I'm horny, and I've never felt like it interfered with my sex life

    point of order: my issue was not porn-related. Stress outlet leading to addictive behavior leading to wildly diminished sex life and performance issues that were very embarrassing to admit to, leading to further more obvious addictive behavior and diminished enjoyment and a generally bad spiral downward into badness.

    Put the wang down.
    No one is going to be clubbing kobolds to death with that any time soon.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • Options
    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    To clarify - Bel dislikes porn in most / all cases, so I abstain entirely and have for our entire marriage.

  • Options
    OrganichuOrganichu poops peesRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Jerking it regularly doesn’t affect my sexual performance

  • Options
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud Registered User regular
    i thought american vandal would be funny but this joke is apparently going to be like six thirty minute episodes

  • Options
    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    The key to being able to masturbate like 5+ times a day might be having a foreskin

    And also no impulse control

    Evil Multifarious on
  • Options
    AegisAegis Fear My Dance Overshot Toronto, Landed in OttawaRegistered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Royal marriage alliances sure do tend to solve a lot of tricky problems

    Yea, but then you accidentally end up as the Byzantine Emperor through no fault of your own, and then the rest of the players grumble at you.

    We'll see how long this blog lasts
    Currently DMing: None :(
    Characters
    [5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
  • Options
    LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Jesus Christ I make one innocuous post about being ahead of the curve on phone holder technology and you guys make it this whole thing.

    Things I didn't expect to happen today

    1. Get fucked over by the cable company by a day on not getting my gigabit ethernet
    2. Having my boss chew my asshole for something I didn't do
    3. DEFEND A GOD DAMNED PIECE OF PLASTIC THAT MAKES LIFE EASIER AND ARGUE WITH STEPHEN SONDHEIM'S LEAD HAREM BOY OVER MY YOUTH.

  • Options
    DasUberEdwardDasUberEdward Registered User regular
    Joke option Country Crock
    The key to being able to masturbate like 5+ times a day might be having a foreskin

    And also no impulse control

    nah.

    edit: yes to the edit

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    This baby on the show is so cute

    BABY COME OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW PLEASE

    Or at least let's like get this show on the road

    Plz

  • Options
    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Organichu wrote: »
    Jerking it regularly doesn’t affect my sexual performance

    is this because you are not performing sexually chu

  • Options
    spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Good lord chu you can't just hand us something like that.

    I had 5 different responses and chose the kindest one

  • Options
    kedinikkedinik Captain of Industry Registered User regular
    spool32 wrote: »
    kedinik wrote: »
    Ok but seriously though I haven't heard very many anecdotes from friends about how porn ruined their sex lives -- the two I've heard are spool and now EM

    Personally,
    masturbating to porn is like a chore to do when I'm horny, and I've never felt like it interfered with my sex life

    point of order: my issue was not porn-related. Stress outlet leading to addictive behavior leading to wildly diminished sex life and performance issues that were very embarrassing to admit to, leading to further more obvious addictive behavior and diminished enjoyment and a generally bad spiral downward into badness.

    Put the wang down.

    Ah, I see

    That makes total sense to me

    I made a game! Hotline Maui. Requires mouse and keyboard.
This discussion has been closed.