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Butter Battle [chat]

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Posts

  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    BeNarwhal
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    EAST COAST
    spool32 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    If it exists, God created it or he is not all powerful

  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    cptrugged wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    kedinik wrote: »
    Ok but seriously though I haven't heard very many anecdotes from friends about how porn ruined their sex lives -- the two I've heard are spool and now EM

    Personally,
    masturbating to porn is like a chore to do when I'm horny, and I've never felt like it interfered with my sex life

    point of order: my issue was not porn-related. Stress outlet leading to addictive behavior leading to wildly diminished sex life and performance issues that were very embarrassing to admit to, leading to further more obvious addictive behavior and diminished enjoyment and a generally bad spiral downward into badness.

    Put the wang down.

    Thanks man. Mind hooking me up with a wonderful lady who will consistently fulfill my needs. Like you've got?

    Or did you forget that the whole reason you're able to not jerk it (you've said this yourself) is that Bel takes good care of you. Otherwise you'd be climbing the walls.

    full abstention is not for the single person, I think. Prob leads to different neuroses.

    Moderation in all things!

  • BeNarwhalBeNarwhal The Work Left Unfinished Registered User regular
    Ludious wrote: »
    Organichu wrote: »
    I mean you can all mock my crushing loneliness just know you’ll be named in the suicide note

    My question isn't if, my question is which line

    I'm more worried about context

    Like I'd be okay with "P.S. Benarwhal? Pretty cool guy, sorry I'm gonna be hurting him w/ this."

    He/Him
    Narwhal, you should make "Sometimes while someone is explaining something to me, I am thinking about rockets" your signature
  • kedinikkedinik Registered User regular
    An acquaintance is college once said:

    "Hey, man, uh.. My ex bootycalled me, like she wants me to come over tonight. I think we're probably gonna have sex. But it has been a long time for me since I had sex; I'm pretty horny, and I'm worried it might be too hot and maybe I'll just cum immediately. Do you think I should masturbate before I head over there? So I won't be so horny and keyed up."

    "Yeah, sure man. If that's how you're feeling."

  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Ludious wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    If it exists, God created it or he is not all powerful

    I was thinking about the logistics of using a butt plug to beat off but this facet also needs to be considered.......

  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    WEST COAST
    if God is Always watching then he's Really Into voyeur

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    Hahnsoo1
  • P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    youtube nazis, huh
    i want to eat pizzas and pass out 26yzvo9qtu3e.png

    Shameful pursuits and utterly stupid opinions
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    kedinik wrote: »
    An acquaintance is college once said:

    "Hey, man, uh.. My ex bootycalled me, like she wants me to come over tonight. I think we're probably gonna have sex. But it has been a long time for me since I had sex; I'm pretty horny, and I'm worried it might be too hot and maybe I'll just cum immediately. Do you think I should masturbate before I head over there? So I won't be so horny and keyed up."

    "Yeah, sure man. If that's how you're feeling."

    Isn't a plot line from something about mary?

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
    Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudAegisemnmnmeQuid
  • kedinikkedinik Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    kedinik wrote: »
    An acquaintance is college once said:

    "Hey, man, uh.. My ex bootycalled me, like she wants me to come over tonight. I think we're probably gonna have sex. But it has been a long time for me since I had sex; I'm pretty horny, and I'm worried it might be too hot and maybe I'll just cum immediately. Do you think I should masturbate before I head over there? So I won't be so horny and keyed up."

    "Yeah, sure man. If that's how you're feeling."

    Isn't a plot line from something about mary?

    I dunno, I haven't seen it

  • spool32spool32 Contrary Library Registered User regular
    edited October 2017
    EAST COAST
    folks who just cum immediately, I hope you are blessed with a partner who also has a hair trigger :)

    spool32 on
  • VariableVariable Mouth Congress Stroke Me Lady FameRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    kedinik wrote: »
    An acquaintance is college once said:

    "Hey, man, uh.. My ex bootycalled me, like she wants me to come over tonight. I think we're probably gonna have sex. But it has been a long time for me since I had sex; I'm pretty horny, and I'm worried it might be too hot and maybe I'll just cum immediately. Do you think I should masturbate before I head over there? So I won't be so horny and keyed up."

    "Yeah, sure man. If that's how you're feeling."

    Isn't a plot line from something about mary?

    it's at least a joke in it but I'm sure it's something people think regularly

    but it's why he has the cum in his hair that leads to probably the most known joke of the movie

    BNet-Vari#1998 | Switch-SW 6960 6688 8388 | Steam | Twitch
  • LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    EAST COAST
    spool32 wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    If it exists, God created it or he is not all powerful

    I was thinking about the logistics of using a butt plug to beat off but this facet also needs to be considered.......

    In the end it wasn't science or faith that brought the two sides together in peace

    it was a buttplug

    Hahnsoo1emnmnme
  • Fuzzy Cumulonimbus CloudFuzzy Cumulonimbus Cloud bear with us as we do some "rebranding" Registered User regular
    Ludious wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    Ludious wrote: »
    spool32 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    If it exists, God created it or he is not all powerful

    I was thinking about the logistics of using a butt plug to beat off but this facet also needs to be considered.......

    In the end it wasn't science or faith that brought the two sides together in peace

    it was a buttplug
    doublesided

    Hahnsoo1SurfpossumArch
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Heard about this on conservative radio:Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    spool32 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if god didn't want me to masturbate then why did He invent butt plugs, huh


    huh????

    Vowels, I don't...

    wait let me think about the logistics of this for a minute

    bc37e7e2d99aa5676eebc6c5d3591d19.jpg

    AiouabloodyroarxxArch
  • BeNarwhalBeNarwhal The Work Left Unfinished Registered User regular
    Kids are running up and down the hallway in our building and, like, jiggling doorknobs, etc.

    Little do they know that a massive man is about to step out of one of those doors with expert timing and scare the ever-living shit out of them. :evil:

    He/Him
    Narwhal, you should make "Sometimes while someone is explaining something to me, I am thinking about rockets" your signature
    SurfpossumQanamilknitdanbloodyroarxxArchjakobagger
  • Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    Aioua wrote: »
    if God is Always watching then he's Really Into voyeur
    I've read that oglaf.

    Di87pOF.jpg
    PSN: Hahnsoo | MHGU: Hahnsoo, Switch FC: SW-0085-2679-5212
    Aegis
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    if God is Always watching then he's Really Into voyeur
    I've read that oglaf.

    PBF did it already, god damn kids with their rap and their rip offs.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Omg Ragnar just cut the umbilical cord of his new malformed son with his TEETH

    Your husband just started sweating and backing away

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    twitch.tv/onthelastcastle
  • descdesc said baby boy you’re only funky as your last cut Registered User regular
    WEST COAST
    So It Goes wrote: »
    This baby on the show is so cute

    BABY COME OUT OF ME RIGHT NOW PLEASE

    Or at least let's like get this show on the Fury Road

    Plz

    So It GoesArchKana
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    WEST COAST
    spool32 wrote: »
    folks who just cum immediately, I hope you are blessed with a partner who also has a hair trigger :)

    so far


    no

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    BeNarwhalcB557
  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    Orphane wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    I have hella dry skin and I usually masturbate without lube and I still don't get chafed unless I'm going on a marathon session

    In my teens after the 8th time in a weekend, yeah I'd get a little raw

    same here

    like yeah when you've been going at it for like 5 hrs without lube then maybe some lotion/lube helps or you just stop jacking it

    but i'd never heard of someone who just starts off chafing their dick

    I've tried with lube and with a condom and it's so weird.

    Is the week up yet... oh it's been.... two.... hours..... hm.

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    twitch.tv/onthelastcastle
    Arch
  • PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Orphane wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    I have hella dry skin and I usually masturbate without lube and I still don't get chafed unless I'm going on a marathon session

    In my teens after the 8th time in a weekend, yeah I'd get a little raw

    same here

    like yeah when you've been going at it for like 5 hrs without lube then maybe some lotion/lube helps or you just stop jacking it

    but i'd never heard of someone who just starts off chafing their dick

    I've tried with lube and with a condom and it's so weird.

    Is the week up yet... oh it's been.... two.... hours..... hm.

    Castle is going to snap when he sees an add for champagne later today.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    Http:// pleasepaypreacher.net
  • kedinikkedinik Registered User regular
    My former mother-in-law handed me a wad of gas money, said she knows the economy is bad and the job search is hard, and that I can stay with them rent-free for a while as long as I pick up after my dogs

    haha <3

    PreacherBeNarwhalemnmnmeSo It GoescB557spool32MsAnthropyArchSir LandsharkRedTideA Kobold's Kobold
  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    The family that raids together stays together!

    FeralcB557BeNarwhalQuidoverride367shrykeArchYoshisummons
  • ThomamelasThomamelas Only one man can kill this many Russians. Bring his guitar to me! Registered User regular
    @elldren @desc

    So my rental this week is the Challenger with the 6.4L V8 Hemi. And on the way home I found myself making a wrong turn that wasn't the road to my hotel but the on ramp for I-95. And it was open and clear. I did not exceed the speed limit of 70. I did achieve the speed limit in an aggressive fashion. God that made some wonderful noise.

    BeNarwhalbloodyroarxxMsAnthropydescElldren
  • BeNarwhalBeNarwhal The Work Left Unfinished Registered User regular
    BeNarwhal wrote: »
    Kids are running up and down the hallway in our building and, like, jiggling doorknobs, etc.

    Little do they know that a massive man is about to step out of one of those doors with expert timing and scare the ever-living shit out of them. :evil:

    That was thoroughly amusing, this shopping trip has started off on an enjoyable note!

    He/Him
    Narwhal, you should make "Sometimes while someone is explaining something to me, I am thinking about rockets" your signature
  • AegisAegis Not Quite TorontoRegistered User regular
    John Dunsworth apparently died :(

    We'll see how long this blog lasts
    Currently DMing: None :(
    Characters
    [5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Unless they all get violently cut down in battle but I'm hoping for plot armor

  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    What about a pop socket for your Hot Pocket

    So it's more ergonomica to hold by your ear between bites

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
    Feral
  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Aegis wrote: »
    John Dunsworth apparently died :(

    Lahey? No! Aw.

  • y2jake215y2jake215 certified Flat Birther theorist the Last Good Boy onlineRegistered User regular
    C8Ft8GE.jpg
    maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
    Variable
  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    "You can't give a paper clip to a baby; he could swallow it"

    "Oh, it's ok, I've got tons of them."

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
    BeNarwhaloverride367FeralElldren
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    WEST COAST
    hJLL3yY.jpg

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    Hahnsoo1QuidCasual EddyKid PresentablecB557A Kobold's KoboldKanadescElldrenwandering
  • SurfpossumSurfpossum A nonentity trying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered User regular
    Oooh my biometrics are in already.

    HDL still slightly too low, albumin? slightly too high, systolic BP too high, and BMI slightly too high.

    Everything else is green!


    im so healthy

    icon.png facebookIcon.png tumblrIcon.png
    is this how nations are born
  • QanamilQanamil Registered User regular
    Joke option Country Crock
    Hahnsoo1 wrote: »
    Seriously, though. Pop sockets are everywhere. They sit right next to the fidget spinners.

    I'm guessing very few chatters go to the fidget spinner / pop sockets / as seen on tv aisle.

    Steam/PSN ID: FauxRomano | JBYC Podcast, recorded live and messy Mondays at 9EST
    Preacher
  • KruiteKruite Registered User regular
    Hmm, been having the issue of not being able to cum during sex lately. Maybe lube is the answer.

  • OnTheLastCastleOnTheLastCastle let's keep it haimish for the peripatetic Registered User regular
    Let's generalize about men!

    I love you crazy ex girlfriend. @Preacher

    I'm a published writer and have a very unique and interesting writing style. I'm also sharp and witty. My profile is well-written and hilarious. My messages are likewise brilliant. And I've been doing this stuff for...four or five years. I know what "works" in terms of good internet dating writing. "Works" in the sense of leading to a "date" with a human female.

    twitch.tv/onthelastcastle
    Hahnsoo1Preacher
  • QanamilQanamil Registered User regular
    Joke option Country Crock
    BeNarwhal wrote: »
    BeNarwhal wrote: »
    Kids are running up and down the hallway in our building and, like, jiggling doorknobs, etc.

    Little do they know that a massive man is about to step out of one of those doors with expert timing and scare the ever-living shit out of them. :evil:

    That was thoroughly amusing, this shopping trip has started off on an enjoyable note!

    P.S. BeNards, pretty cool dude.

    Steam/PSN ID: FauxRomano | JBYC Podcast, recorded live and messy Mondays at 9EST
    knitdan
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Heard about this on conservative radio:Registered User regular
    EAST COAST
    Kruite wrote: »
    Hmm, been having the issue of not being able to cum during sex lately.

    :eek:

    I'm jealous. That sounds like it's practically a super power.

This discussion has been closed.