God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
high sticking is pretty good. slashing. offside.
hmmm, probably double dribble
illegal touching
too many men
hmmm, a threesome where the primary couple didn't talk about boundaries in advance: ineligible receiver
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
high sticking is pretty good. slashing. offside.
hmmm, probably double dribble
too many men
Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
0
Options
AegisFear My DanceOvershot Toronto, Landed in OttawaRegistered Userregular
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
Ok good. Although my timing probably isn't great because a scary new IT director just started today. He's gonna block all my weird bookmarks.
IT only gives a fuck if it's chewing up bandwidth
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
high sticking is pretty good. slashing. offside.
hmmm, probably double dribble
illegal touching
too many men
hmmm, a threesome where the primary couple didn't talk about boundaries in advance: ineligible receiver
roughing the snapper
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
+1
Options
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
My left shoelaces come undone with some frequency. My right never does. What's wrong with me, and is it neurogical?
You have two weeks to provide a diagnosis, at which point I will be asking my psychiatrist, who will look at me like I'm an idiot for worrying about something so small.
[chat], only you can save me from seeing a look I've seen several hundred times from this woman! :P
You tie the left one slightly differently, or
your gait is slightly different on the left. Do your soles wear evenly on both shoes? Have a look, I bet the left one's wear pattern is slightly different.
or
the way you address uneven surfaces (stairs, ground) has a specific pattern that causes uneven stress on the laces, causing the left one to come undone more quickly.
I do lead with my left going down stairs and ledges, and my brother, my father, and I all have something infamously known as "The Narraway strut" thanks to how our relaxed walking gait looks, true
But
Maybe my brain is dying instead??? :P
you take your science and you like it narwhal
enough with this preposterous brain death theory!
Oh, fine!
... I'm still gonna ask my psychiatrist about it unless something else comes up in the interim
I get an hour with this woman, on top of the weekly therapy I have with another therapist
Sometimes I run out of totally pertinent things to talk about >_>
"I know WHY giraffes are tall, but why would that kind of animal evolve in the first place? Why wasn't it just out-competed early on and dismissed as an inherently-flawed design?"
At some point your psychiatrist needs to shut you down like: “Alright enough of this shit Mr Narwhal. I don’t have a satisfactory answer and I am not sure anyone does but clearly the giraffe was not out-competed because it is here today. Clearly your understanding of this animal is in some way flawed. Perhaps you think it is more fragile than it is. Here is a video I found of two male giraffes fighting and they’re using their heads like goddamned flails and the necks aren’t snapping. Now can we PLEASE get back to talking about you.”
This would be a much longer answer than she's ever bothered to amuse me with.
Usually it's "That's silly, figure that out on your own time. Why haven't you spoken to your father this month and why are you pretending all of your grandparents are dead when they're not?"
And then I'm like "Gosh darn it, we're doing this shit today? I been thinking about giraffes all fuckin' day!"
+1
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
Flopping
0
Options
Donkey KongPutting Nintendo out of business with AI nipsRegistered Userregular
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
high sticking is pretty good. slashing. offside.
hmmm, probably double dribble
illegal touching
too many men
hmmm, a threesome where the primary couple didn't talk about boundaries in advance: ineligible receiver
ineligible receiver sounds like what happens when a 17 year old lies about their age
Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
+4
Options
knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
My left shoelaces come undone with some frequency. My right never does. What's wrong with me, and is it neurogical?
You have two weeks to provide a diagnosis, at which point I will be asking my psychiatrist, who will look at me like I'm an idiot for worrying about something so small.
[chat], only you can save me from seeing a look I've seen several hundred times from this woman! :P
You tie the left one slightly differently, or
your gait is slightly different on the left. Do your soles wear evenly on both shoes? Have a look, I bet the left one's wear pattern is slightly different.
or
the way you address uneven surfaces (stairs, ground) has a specific pattern that causes uneven stress on the laces, causing the left one to come undone more quickly.
I do lead with my left going down stairs and ledges, and my brother, my father, and I all have something infamously known as "The Narraway strut" thanks to how our relaxed walking gait looks, true
But
Maybe my brain is dying instead??? :P
you take your science and you like it narwhal
enough with this preposterous brain death theory!
Oh, fine!
... I'm still gonna ask my psychiatrist about it unless something else comes up in the interim
I get an hour with this woman, on top of the weekly therapy I have with another therapist
Sometimes I run out of totally pertinent things to talk about >_>
"I know WHY giraffes are tall, but why would that kind of animal evolve in the first place? Why wasn't it just out-competed early on and dismissed as an inherently-flawed design?"
Dude they can eat parts of the plants other similar herbivores can't they have less competition for resources
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
+6
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
I have been with a whole bunch of guys who get too nervous to finish the first time. Like a good 50% of the people I have sexed. Even with self stimulation, even with toys. It is a super super common problem. There’s this idea that guys have a perfect orgasm every time or at least an orgasm of some quality every time and it’s just not true at all.
Like, I'm not bragging because it's not wholly a great thing, but with these current meds 9 days out of 10 I literally cannot orgasm! And that's by myself, no first-time stress or compatibility issues whatsoever! Even with the filthiest, greatest porn you can imagine!
So yeah, it's an important myth to dispel. Sometimes you have to stop having sex before either partner has orgasmed, because sometimes it's just not going to happen for either of them, and that's okay.
The alternative is fucking until you both die of dehydration, which isn't a great option.
But is an awesome one
+1
Options
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
I have been with a whole bunch of guys who get too nervous to finish the first time. Like a good 50% of the people I have sexed. Even with self stimulation, even with toys. It is a super super common problem. There’s this idea that guys have a perfect orgasm every time or at least an orgasm of some quality every time and it’s just not true at all.
Like, I'm not bragging because it's not wholly a great thing, but with these current meds 9 days out of 10 I literally cannot orgasm! And that's by myself, no first-time stress or compatibility issues whatsoever! Even with the filthiest, greatest porn you can imagine!
So yeah, it's an important myth to dispel. Sometimes you have to stop having sex before either partner has orgasmed, because sometimes it's just not going to happen for either of them, and that's okay.
The alternative is fucking until you both die of dehydration, which isn't a great option.
were you taking something for pain?
Nah, it's a somewhat-uncommon side effect of venlafaxine, and I won that lottery! >_>
Both halves of the Conspiracy of Ravens is here! :surprised:
How you two doing, still Northeastern US-based?
Yessir! Still in Nuhams. I have a dope-ass condo that has an acceptable amount of black mold. I also have a kitty, a reclining chair, and enough candles to last the winter. Things are good.
(V) ( ;,,; ) (V)
+1
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
Dan, we're not allowed to jerk it for a week or two. Spread the word. Chat had important topics today.
0
Options
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
God I wish. Even when I’m nervous, if it’s been more than a day I always gotta get the guy to back off. Like holy shit let’s have this last more than 5 minutes please. NO. NO MORE TOUCHING FOR YOU. *coach whistle blows* PENALTY 3 MINUTES
i'm trying to think of the funniest sex sports penalty
high sticking is pretty good. slashing. offside.
hmmm, probably double dribble
illegal touching
too many men
Block in the backfield.
0
Options
BeNarwhalThe Work Left UnfinishedRegistered Userregular
Over and back.
0
Options
OnTheLastCastlelet's keep it haimish for the peripateticRegistered Userregular
I have been with a whole bunch of guys who get too nervous to finish the first time. Like a good 50% of the people I have sexed. Even with self stimulation, even with toys. It is a super super common problem. There’s this idea that guys have a perfect orgasm every time or at least an orgasm of some quality every time and it’s just not true at all.
Like, I'm not bragging because it's not wholly a great thing, but with these current meds 9 days out of 10 I literally cannot orgasm! And that's by myself, no first-time stress or compatibility issues whatsoever! Even with the filthiest, greatest porn you can imagine!
So yeah, it's an important myth to dispel. Sometimes you have to stop having sex before either partner has orgasmed, because sometimes it's just not going to happen for either of them, and that's okay.
The alternative is fucking until you both die of dehydration, which isn't a great option.
were you taking something for pain?
Nah, it's a somewhat-uncommon side effect of venlafaxine, and I won that lottery! >_>
I've often had problems orgasming while wearing a condom. This was especially frequent early in my sex life when I didn't know what kinds of condoms worked best for me.
I've never had a partner tell me that they were disappointed by that.
jelly of these knowledgeable, sex-empowered west coast women :P
not that i'm much better, but several of my partners have been utterly crestfallen
Honestly in some cases I think they were relieved.
They didn't have orgasms from intercourse either and the fact that I had such difficulties made them feel like... they could be honest about that with me.
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
Posts
Illegal touching
hmmm, a threesome where the primary couple didn't talk about boundaries in advance: ineligible receiver
DRX has them. My phone has no cute pix.
too many men
Delay of Game
Instigator Penalty
Wearing Illegal Equipment
Playing with a Broken Stick
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
pleasepaypreacher.net
IT only gives a fuck if it's chewing up bandwidth
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
roughing the snapper
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
This would be a much longer answer than she's ever bothered to amuse me with.
Usually it's "That's silly, figure that out on your own time. Why haven't you spoken to your father this month and why are you pretending all of your grandparents are dead when they're not?"
And then I'm like "Gosh darn it, we're doing this shit today? I been thinking about giraffes all fuckin' day!"
ineligible receiver sounds like what happens when a 17 year old lies about their age
Yeah well I've been a fan since they were the Novemberists
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
How you two doing, still Northeastern US-based?
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Dude they can eat parts of the plants other similar herbivores can't they have less competition for resources
that michael jackson cover, that nirvana cover, such great heights, every possible dcfc hit
this successful pandering
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
Y'ever get away with eating a sandwich while doing the deed a la George in Seinfeld?
It's a good feeling.
Just sort of oozes out like an overstuffed eclair
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
They painted the gym this weekend
Mmm feel great
Intentional grounding.
But is an awesome one
Nah, it's a somewhat-uncommon side effect of venlafaxine, and I won that lottery! >_>
Yessir! Still in Nuhams. I have a dope-ass condo that has an acceptable amount of black mold. I also have a kitty, a reclining chair, and enough candles to last the winter. Things are good.
Block in the backfield.
Yes that killed my sex drive so bad
And the withdrawal was the worst
Honestly in some cases I think they were relieved.
They didn't have orgasms from intercourse either and the fact that I had such difficulties made them feel like... they could be honest about that with me.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Speaking as someone who has just done this for science
Do not do it. It is not worth it. You are only inviting pain into your lives. And crotches.