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Wizards: The Dumb Nerds That Can. An Melding Guide

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Posts

  • Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    Install wizards are of that title in the sense that the Merlin at a Medieval Times is a wizard

    VRXwDW7.png
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    What about sex wizards? Those who dabble in sex magic?

    Or blood sugar sex magic, if they’re diabetic sex wizards.

  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    Dubh wrote: »
    here's a question

    do install wizards count as technomancers

    This is a fantastic question.

  • UrielUriel Registered User regular
    If computer programs can be wizards then what about clippy

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    here's a question

    do install wizards count as technomancers

    This is a fantastic question.

    I just assumed those were spells created by technomancers.
    I mean, a Wizard who talks to technology creating a spell to install things on computers and calling it a wizard.

    It sounds like the kind of sense of humor one would get when crossing arcane book worms with computer nerds.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Uriel wrote: »
    If computer programs can be wizards then what about clippy

    Clippy is a paladin

    Wants to help, but if you aren't sticking to rigid rules he's not going to be happy

    Bucketman
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    the installation wizard isn't a real wizard, computers aren't magic.

    sex wizards are a thing, but when you can bend reality what they consider sex might not even fit within the current definition.

    cB557Tommy2HandsDuke 2.0Bucketman
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    What about sex wizards? Those who dabble in sex magic?

    Or blood sugar sex magic, if they’re diabetic sex wizards.

    y1ngnw3m1ayh.jpg


  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    So making fun of wizards at work someone I work with said the longer your beard is the more powerful you are as a wizard

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    that seems like something someone at work would say.

    Tommy2HandsDuke 2.0NeoToma
  • BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Well I say a lot of things they don't know about like making fun of a deodorant that worked as a bidet. No one knew what that was and I was sad

  • Tommy2HandsTommy2Hands what is this where am i Registered User regular
    If you have a bidet I am jealous

    If you don't I'm wondering how the deodorant works as such without stinging your butthole

    Cdcniho.jpg
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    If you have a bidet I am jealous

    If you don't I'm wondering how the deodorant works as such without stinging your butthole

    Perhaps the deodorant is sold by Karcher? You just plug in the power cord, connect your garden hose, and wait.... that's definitely gonna hurt your butthole...

  • Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    I hear wizards have two buttholes, unless that’s just Foonish wizards

    VRXwDW7.png
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I understand that a wizard's staff has a knob at the end, is this required for proper functioning of the staff, or is it largely for aesthetic purposes?

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    I understand that a wizard's staff has a knob at the end, is this required for proper functioning of the staff, or is it largely for aesthetic purposes?
    A wizard's staff has a knob on the end
    It never will buckle, it never will bend
    He cherishes it, and he calls it his friend,
    and he frequently takes it in hand.

    A wizard's staff is the source of his power.
    He checks up on it every hour on the hour
    And he's never surprised when it turns to a flower --
    The fairest throughout all the land.

    The staff of a wizard with honour is crowned.
    Without it a wizard will rarely be found.
    'Tis big and its round and weighs three to the pound
    And without it he's truly unmanned.

    The staff of a wizard can do mighty deeds.
    It protects him from harm and attends to his needs,
    Provides him with banquets upon which he feeds
    And potions on which he gets canned.

    Whenever a wizard is lonely or sad,
    Or feeling dejected, or puzzled, or mad,
    He turns to his staff, and things don't seem so bad --
    By it he is never trepanned.

    The staff of a wizard is dear to his heart
    The source and the succour of his magic art.
    They travel together, are never apart,
    A relationship few understand.

    A wizard is rarely of heroic build
    Were it not for his staff, he would surely be killed.
    By demons or monsters his blood would be spilled
    All over the pitiless sand.

    A wizard in thought, word, and deed should be chaste
    If he is not, he's considered disgraced.
    Although in his dreams he is often embraced
    By ladies both lissom and tanned.

    The staff of a wizard is polished with care.
    He anoints it with spices and unguents rare,
    Bedecks it with silver and jewels most fair,
    And on feast days he has it japanned.

    A wizard when young has a staff that is small.
    It's puny and weak, ineffective withal.
    It grows with his power until it stands tall
    As his fame and his glory expand.

    The staff of a wizard can hold many spells
    For finding lost objects or dowsing new wells
    For banishing demons to bottomless hells
    Or bringing them back on demand.

    A wizard's staff can do manifold tricks
    To puzzle the nobles and fuddle the hicks
    It rescues the wizard from many a fix --
    It is totally at his command.

    When a wizard is old, and is starting to fade
    He looks on his staff that with cunning he made
    The crown of his life and the tool of his trade
    And together they make their last stand.

  • ChimeraChimera Monster girl with a snek tail and five eyes Bad puns, that's how eye roll. Registered User regular
    Wizards are dicks...

    npAs9AI.png
    CHI'S MIDWEEK 80'S & 90's MOVIE MONSTER MASH, EVERY OTHER WED @ 9PM EASTERN
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    Curly_BracecB557Rainfall
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