I probably sound grumpier than I intended in those posts, I'm mostly being curmudgeonly for comic effect and because it's early.
Anyone not grumpy this early is weird. Anyone actually cheerful should be shot.
Your grumpiness at this hour is right and good.
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
My fiance is so chipper in the morning and I do not understand how she does it.
I suspect she is doing a bump of coke every morning on the sly
My partner wakes up when her alarm goes off and positively springs out of bed. Then she says crazy shit like "I want to go do some exercise right now", and I'm still a solid hour away from being able to force myself to tumble out of bed.
The good thing about flipping your work day so that your "leisure" time is before work begins is that one can accumulate a truly catastrophic amount of life stress before the actual day begins
Aw fuck, its almost time to sleep and I haven't written or exercised.
I just applied to an entry level GIS position at the oregon end of Idaho, I have no faith or hope, but doing something with that apathy is necessary in life.
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
I'm not closing today, instead I have a normal people shift. Which would be fine, except I've been up since 5am which has not put me in the same galactic supercluster as anything approaching a happy place.
My fiance is so chipper in the morning and I do not understand how she does it.
I suspect she is doing a bump of coke every morning on the sly
My partner wakes up when her alarm goes off and positively springs out of bed. Then she says crazy shit like "I want to go do some exercise right now", and I'm still a solid hour away from being able to force myself to tumble out of bed.
I need a solid hour of staring at a wall while drinking coffee before doing anything in the morning
My fiance is so chipper in the morning and I do not understand how she does it.
I suspect she is doing a bump of coke every morning on the sly
My partner wakes up when her alarm goes off and positively springs out of bed. Then she says crazy shit like "I want to go do some exercise right now", and I'm still a solid hour away from being able to force myself to tumble out of bed.
I need a solid hour of staring at a wall while drinking coffee before doing anything in the morning
I used to lift on such a tight schedule that I needed to time my "stare at a wall, drink coffee" time. I got it down to twenty minutes I think.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them fast. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
korodullin on
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
Coming down from a glorious three day weekend is the worst. It is at least tempered by the fact that my time in Visiting will soon be done once I train the person arriving today.
Apparently the other person who keeps fucking up in major ways has also inserted herself into the training so oh boy here's hoping I can maybe shoo her away so this job gets done right.
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
Get an email from a teacher asking to schedule book checkout for her classes. I reply, "sure what blocks do you have."
Send it then pause, click back on her email and see that she clearly listed the blocks right at the top.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them fast. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
What do you need to know how to do?
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
+6
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Might check and see if your local library subscribes to a tech skills or professional training database. Something like lynda.com or LearningExpress Library will have some good introductory training materials. If not, they'll definitely have some Excel 2010 For Dummies style books that should get your feet wet.
Otherwise, the Mr. Excel YouTube channel got us through some tricky patches when my wife was having to learn crazy spreadsheet stuff in college.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them *fast*. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
If you have any specific questions feel free to @ me (and I assume there are other excel wizards in here).
What specific tasks will you need to be doing? Knowing what specific things you need will be helpful.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them fast. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
https://excel.tips.net/index.html - that one's helped me out with a couple things for banging together my own "I did that thing," tracking system, but you do sort of need to know what you're looking for.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them fast. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
What do you need to know how to do?
I'm not 100% sure yet. I know for sure I need to set up a daily manifest for what parts are going to be processed and shipped out and which teams will be assigned to handle them, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be pulling it from a central database or if I'm going to have to be doing it by hand or what.
I'm mostly just looking for basic functionality refreshers.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
Just remember putting "=" into the box will pop up a whole bunch of stuff, and you can start doing most basic arithmetic from there (remember PEMDAS)
You can refer to cells and ranges specifically by doing things like "C15" and "B10:B19". So if you wanted to add up a range of cells, you can just do "=SUM(B10:B19)", or hell, even type them individually.
Knowing how to do that puts you into the upper ranks of "people who can use excel well". I discovered a few years back that someone was doing it all by hand every day and eating up hours of their day doing calculations that a spreadsheet can do in seconds.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
Also I've had a lot of luck just googling what I want Excel to do and finding out how to do it. Even if it's weird shit like "How do I sort this sheet using only the middle 4 digits of a 14 digit number."
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
My fiance is so chipper in the morning and I do not understand how she does it.
I suspect she is doing a bump of coke every morning on the sly
My partner wakes up when her alarm goes off and positively springs out of bed. Then she says crazy shit like "I want to go do some exercise right now", and I'm still a solid hour away from being able to force myself to tumble out of bed.
I need a solid hour of staring at a wall while drinking coffee before doing anything in the morning
I used to lift on such a tight schedule that I needed to time my "stare at a wall, drink coffee" time. I got it down to twenty minutes I think.
Well I've been steadily working my way down from 16 hours.
My issue with Excel is I know how to do all these neat functions but don't have a real-world situation where I can apply any of them in a practical sense.
My issue with Excel is I know how to do all these neat functions but don't have a real-world situation where I can apply any of them in a practical sense.
its quite simple really
you make up uses for them, insist there's no other way to do it, and then hold an organization captive over your excel witch-doctoring
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
There are tags to pull data from our process database into excel, (not exactly) like FLOW0001. Many times, these also have a tag that shows the percent opening of the associated valve, FLOW0001.OP
The formula for pulling data is complicated and 90% of users use a little wizard to do it by selecting the tag and start/end date, limiting their ability to make flexible formulas but letting them generate the data they want. More confident users can edit those formulas to do things like use relative cell references, so you get stuff like PULLDATA(B$1,$A2,$A2+1,*otherstuff*), where the "1" row is tags and the A column is dates (e.g. B1 is Flow0001, C1 is Temp0002); you can then drag this over a range to get the average data for all those tags on all those days.
One madman decided that he didn't like having to type the same tag with ".OP" when making these sheets, so he instead created the above formula but replaced "B$1" with Concatenate(B$1,".OP"), creating PULLDATA(Concatenate(B$1,".OP"),$A2,$A2+1,*otherstuff*)
It worked but I have no idea how that was meant to be easier.
i have excel stories. i have excel stories so deep and rich that not only do i not care to recall them, even if i could, they would be too long for a forum post
roughly 2.5 years ago, i began writing a from-scratch bizarro version of Google Sheets for a major healthcare company so that they could do bulk processing of their sales and pricing formulas, which were so vast and convoluted that attempting to do so in MS Excel itself would basically cripple all but the most expensive desktop computers.
they became so grief stricken with what this process revealed to them about their own handiwork, they basically had to hire whole other person just to make their spreadsheets actually work they way they had always thought they worked
could you imagine an excel file so large that changing any cell would lock up a $4,000 computer for 25 minutes
i have excel stories. i have excel stories so deep and rich that not only do i not care to recall them, even if i could, they would be too long for a forum post
roughly 2.5 years ago, i began writing a from-scratch bizarro version of Google Sheets for a major healthcare company so that they could do bulk processing of their sales and pricing formulas, which were so vast and convoluted that attempting to do so in MS Excel itself would basically cripple all but the most expensive desktop computers.
they became so grief stricken with what this process revealed to them about their own handiwork, they basically had to hire whole other person just to make their spreadsheets actually work they way they had always thought they worked
I remember you guys writing that excel clone.
Did you never finish it?
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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RobonunIt's all fun and games until someone pisses off ChinaRegistered Userregular
i have excel stories. i have excel stories so deep and rich that not only do i not care to recall them, even if i could, they would be too long for a forum post
roughly 2.5 years ago, i began writing a from-scratch bizarro version of Google Sheets for a major healthcare company so that they could do bulk processing of their sales and pricing formulas, which were so vast and convoluted that attempting to do so in MS Excel itself would basically cripple all but the most expensive desktop computers.
they became so grief stricken with what this process revealed to them about their own handiwork, they basically had to hire whole other person just to make their spreadsheets actually work they way they had always thought they worked
I remember you guys writing that excel clone.
Did you never finish it?
pretty much yes. there are a few taboo things in Excel that we didn't do because they would have taken months if not years to fully implement
but for the purposes of financial modeling, it is whole and marketable
Oh yeah, the big thing with all our monitoring spreadsheets is that you have to turn off auto-calculate and only F9 when you need to update them. They don't take forever but it's easier than hanging for a few seconds every change when you have a lot to do.
Posts
Anyone not grumpy this early is weird. Anyone actually cheerful should be shot.
Your grumpiness at this hour is right and good.
I suspect she is doing a bump of coke every morning on the sly
:tell_me_more:
My partner wakes up when her alarm goes off and positively springs out of bed. Then she says crazy shit like "I want to go do some exercise right now", and I'm still a solid hour away from being able to force myself to tumble out of bed.
I just applied to an entry level GIS position at the oregon end of Idaho, I have no faith or hope, but doing something with that apathy is necessary in life.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
I would have absolutely done better at uni if I had done that, so well done.
I need a solid hour of staring at a wall while drinking coffee before doing anything in the morning
Ditto in my undergrad, I would have been less stressed!
I used to lift on such a tight schedule that I needed to time my "stare at a wall, drink coffee" time. I got it down to twenty minutes I think.
Also we're setting up a point to point network between our remote office and this one.
Please to be no more VPN thank you.
I need resources to help me get back up to speed with Excel (and specifically Excel) and I need them fast. I haven't used this shit in ages and now I'm going to have to do it daily.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
Apparently the other person who keeps fucking up in major ways has also inserted herself into the training so oh boy here's hoping I can maybe shoo her away so this job gets done right.
Send it then pause, click back on her email and see that she clearly listed the blocks right at the top.
Ugh. Mondays.
What do you need to know how to do?
Otherwise, the Mr. Excel YouTube channel got us through some tricky patches when my wife was having to learn crazy spreadsheet stuff in college.
If you have any specific questions feel free to @ me (and I assume there are other excel wizards in here).
What specific tasks will you need to be doing? Knowing what specific things you need will be helpful.
This tutorial site looks pretty decent, though I cant actually check any of the Youtube stuff at work.
https://excel.tips.net/index.html - that one's helped me out with a couple things for banging together my own "I did that thing," tracking system, but you do sort of need to know what you're looking for.
I'm not 100% sure yet. I know for sure I need to set up a daily manifest for what parts are going to be processed and shipped out and which teams will be assigned to handle them, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be pulling it from a central database or if I'm going to have to be doing it by hand or what.
I'm mostly just looking for basic functionality refreshers.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
For basic Excel stuff, the Help text isn't really bad, so start there. (For anything advanced, it kinda sucks donkey balls.)
Practice the SUMIFS, VLOOKUP, HLOOKUP, INDEX, and concatenate (&) functions, and you've got, like, 85% of things you'll need to do in Excel down.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
You can refer to cells and ranges specifically by doing things like "C15" and "B10:B19". So if you wanted to add up a range of cells, you can just do "=SUM(B10:B19)", or hell, even type them individually.
Knowing how to do that puts you into the upper ranks of "people who can use excel well". I discovered a few years back that someone was doing it all by hand every day and eating up hours of their day doing calculations that a spreadsheet can do in seconds.
Well I've been steadily working my way down from 16 hours.
its quite simple really
you make up uses for them, insist there's no other way to do it, and then hold an organization captive over your excel witch-doctoring
Oh are you a librarian too?
I am a data hoarder if that's what you mean.
The formula for pulling data is complicated and 90% of users use a little wizard to do it by selecting the tag and start/end date, limiting their ability to make flexible formulas but letting them generate the data they want. More confident users can edit those formulas to do things like use relative cell references, so you get stuff like PULLDATA(B$1,$A2,$A2+1,*otherstuff*), where the "1" row is tags and the A column is dates (e.g. B1 is Flow0001, C1 is Temp0002); you can then drag this over a range to get the average data for all those tags on all those days.
One madman decided that he didn't like having to type the same tag with ".OP" when making these sheets, so he instead created the above formula but replaced "B$1" with Concatenate(B$1,".OP"), creating PULLDATA(Concatenate(B$1,".OP"),$A2,$A2+1,*otherstuff*)
It worked but I have no idea how that was meant to be easier.
roughly 2.5 years ago, i began writing a from-scratch bizarro version of Google Sheets for a major healthcare company so that they could do bulk processing of their sales and pricing formulas, which were so vast and convoluted that attempting to do so in MS Excel itself would basically cripple all but the most expensive desktop computers.
they became so grief stricken with what this process revealed to them about their own handiwork, they basically had to hire whole other person just to make their spreadsheets actually work they way they had always thought they worked
could you imagine an excel file so large that changing any cell would lock up a $4,000 computer for 25 minutes
i can imagine it. i saw it.
I remember you guys writing that excel clone.
Did you never finish it?
One of us! One of us!
pretty much yes. there are a few taboo things in Excel that we didn't do because they would have taken months if not years to fully implement
but for the purposes of financial modeling, it is whole and marketable