peeing standing up is going to go out of style because it's easier to operate a smartphone with 2 hands
like, there will still be people who want to pee quickly, but a lot of the time you just want to sit down, collect yourself for a minute, check your online, and piss
I think I check my smartphone like 3 times a day, I don't see the appeal of attaching myself at the hip to it.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
peeing standing up is going to go out of style because it's easier to operate a smartphone with 2 hands
like, there will still be people who want to pee quickly, but a lot of the time you just want to sit down, collect yourself for a minute, check your online, and piss
I think I check my smartphone like 3 times a day, I don't see the appeal of attaching myself at the hip to it.
that's for when you wake up and you don't want to do the 45 degree angle move
Seriously, just sit down to pee. Theres no fuckin' sprinkles on the rim or floor, dick handling is at a minimum, there ain't a seat issue with ladies, there's no shaking and flinging piss around or putting a pissy dick back in your underpants.
Just goddamn sit down and pee. Half the world has to do it, it ain't a big deal.
that's for when you wake up and you don't want to do the 45 degree angle move
Seriously, just sit down to pee. Theres no fuckin' sprinkles on the rim or floor, dick handling is at a minimum, there ain't a seat issue with ladies, there's no shaking and flinging piss around or putting a pissy dick back in your underpants.
Just goddamn sit down and pee. Half the world has to do it, it ain't a big deal.
I do.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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GustavFriend of GoatsSomewhere in the OzarksRegistered Userregular
lol at all of you with your numbers 1 and 2 i've moved on to number 3
I’ve seen people at work checking their smartphone while they’re at the urinal, and it’s like...
I know I like to check stuff on my phone.... but you can take a moment and dedicate yourself to the task. You’re gonna drop that phone, and it’s gonna be a bad time.
One semester in college there was an administrative fuckup that cancelled financial aid for a whole slew of students, including me. Didn't get that straightened out until just a couple days before classes begin. So I got bounced to the overflow housing dorm for six weeks. One of my roommates was a grade A weirdo.
He comes out one day and asks me where I got the soap in the bathroom from. I tell him and he comments that he'd never seen soap like that. When pressed to elaborate he reveals that growing up, they just had a big jar full of water that they'd stick a bar of soap into, and everyone in the family would just dip their hands in.
That was worse than the time I found out a friend thought washing the dishes meant piling them up in the sink, running water over them, and putting them away wet.
0
DeadfallI don't think you realize just how rich he is.In fact, I should put on a monocle.Registered Userregular
Rinse, lather, rinse.
I'm a teacher so I a) wash my hands all day long and b) have become really quick about it.
Rinse, soap, rinse, automatic towel. Boom.
Except last week when I was tired and had a brain misfire and got the towel first and plunged it in the water and then covered it in soap. I felt off the rest of the day.
I saw a thing a few years where England was studying how to best encourage people to wash their hands.
Best result was a poster that said (paraphrasing) "How long did the person before you wash their hands?"
No one wanted to be the one to let everyone else down.
+7
ReginaldWhen I am Pres., I will createthe Department of ______Registered Userregular
Hand washing is for squares
I once touched Neil Degrasse Tyson, and have since tried to preserve that moment in perpetuity by always wearing latex gloves and never washing my hands. The smell and visible mold is slightly offputting at first, but I feel so close to the universe.
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Larlar
I wash my hands in the blood and entrails of my enemies. So, the Larlar option.
Also, as an uncircumcised guy, I gotta touch my dick when I pee no matter whether I sit or stand. If I don't peel back, there's no telling where the stream will end up.
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AuralynxDarkness is a perspectiveWatching the ego workRegistered Userregular
I wash my hands in the blood and entrails of my enemies. So, the Larlar option.
Also, as an uncircumcised guy, I gotta touch my dick when I pee no matter whether I sit or stand. If I don't peel back, there's no telling where the stream will end up.
TIL that the uncircumcised have to put more effort into wrangling their dangle.
I sing the ABCs in my head while I wash my hands. It's not like I've done that since I was a kid; I never heard of that trick until I was an adult. I just like to make sure I'm washing them thoroughly.
I wash my hands in the blood and entrails of my enemies. So, the Larlar option.
Also, as an uncircumcised guy, I gotta touch my dick when I pee no matter whether I sit or stand. If I don't peel back, there's no telling where the stream will end up.
TIL that the uncircumcised have to put more effort into wrangling their dangle.
that's for when you wake up and you don't want to do the 45 degree angle move
what, how does that help? now yer just hangin off the edge of the seat
I'll spoil this because it gets kind of graphic in a "talk about a penis" kind of way
So when you have an erection in the morning you can't really bend it down too far without it being uncomfortable. So sitting on the toilet and leaning forward will kind of angle it down enough to pee.
The 45 degree angle thing is you basically create a right triangle with your body being the hypotenuse with your hands against the wall and use that to get the proper angle on the toilet.
I work with a lot of older academics. I've come to accept that this involves a lot of piss on floors and toilets. It seems to be inevitable, even after several posters (like, in the stalls) and email campaigns by our HR/health and safety dudes.
My strangest hand washing (or, rather, lack thereof) experience happened when I was about 10 years old.
I was at a birthday party. They served icecream, with various sticky toppings, in the garden. I had just grabbed mine when someone bumped into me, causing me to get sticky stuff on my hands. Oh no!
I went to the father of the girl throwing the party, and explained my predicament.
He told me that they were not going to let any children enter the house, even to clean their hands.
I accepted that, and showed him my sticky hands, and asked for assistance in cleaning them - specifically, I asked for a paper towel.
He looked me in the eyes, and told me, "in this household, we don't believe in paper towels".
I looked at him. Blinked. And said, "okay".
Then I wiped my hands on the grass lawn, and called my aunt to come pick me up. It wasn't a great party anyway.
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I think I check my smartphone like 3 times a day, I don't see the appeal of attaching myself at the hip to it.
you live a blessed life
Steam // Secret Satan
Because if it's a number 1, and I don't pee on my hand, I'll just go through the motions.
Seriously, just sit down to pee. Theres no fuckin' sprinkles on the rim or floor, dick handling is at a minimum, there ain't a seat issue with ladies, there's no shaking and flinging piss around or putting a pissy dick back in your underpants.
Just goddamn sit down and pee. Half the world has to do it, it ain't a big deal.
I do.
I know I like to check stuff on my phone.... but you can take a moment and dedicate yourself to the task. You’re gonna drop that phone, and it’s gonna be a bad time.
That's a surprise! Sign this waiver.
He comes out one day and asks me where I got the soap in the bathroom from. I tell him and he comments that he'd never seen soap like that. When pressed to elaborate he reveals that growing up, they just had a big jar full of water that they'd stick a bar of soap into, and everyone in the family would just dip their hands in.
That was worse than the time I found out a friend thought washing the dishes meant piling them up in the sink, running water over them, and putting them away wet.
Rinse, soap, rinse, automatic towel. Boom.
Except last week when I was tired and had a brain misfire and got the towel first and plunged it in the water and then covered it in soap. I felt off the rest of the day.
xbl - HowYouGetAnts
steam - WeAreAllGeth
yeah okay
Best result was a poster that said (paraphrasing) "How long did the person before you wash their hands?"
No one wanted to be the one to let everyone else down.
Also, as an uncircumcised guy, I gotta touch my dick when I pee no matter whether I sit or stand. If I don't peel back, there's no telling where the stream will end up.
TIL that the uncircumcised have to put more effort into wrangling their dangle.
Depends on the weather and the guy.
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I would tell you, but the waiver I had to sign has an ironclad NDA
makes sense, makes sense
My strangest hand washing (or, rather, lack thereof) experience happened when I was about 10 years old.
I was at a birthday party. They served icecream, with various sticky toppings, in the garden. I had just grabbed mine when someone bumped into me, causing me to get sticky stuff on my hands. Oh no!
I went to the father of the girl throwing the party, and explained my predicament.
He told me that they were not going to let any children enter the house, even to clean their hands.
I accepted that, and showed him my sticky hands, and asked for assistance in cleaning them - specifically, I asked for a paper towel.
He looked me in the eyes, and told me, "in this household, we don't believe in paper towels".
I looked at him. Blinked. And said, "okay".
Then I wiped my hands on the grass lawn, and called my aunt to come pick me up. It wasn't a great party anyway.
Nice! I have also chosen a cloaca, both urine and feces at once!
Success!
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Same
3 seashells
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