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Vanity Thread 3.0: Harder, Better, Faster, [chat]er

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    EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    agh now I have to watch season 1 of the OC again

    dang it bobby

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
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    P10P10 An Idiot With Low IQ Registered User regular
    Old Testament God was just the Israelites excuse for being dicks. "God SAID we should destroy this whole city."

    God's like "How many times do I have to let you fuckers get enslaved and sent into the desert for decades before you get it..."

    Then he sends his hippie son down to spread the peace and love and they're like "Sure, sure, peace and love, right, FALSE PROPHET GET HIM" and back to being dicks...
    wow this anti-semitism

    Shameful pursuits and utterly stupid opinions
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    LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    gimme more steve is my traffic and journey cover band

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    milskimilski Poyo! Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    many years ago i had a customer trying to play hardball with getting credit for a returned part she hadn't actually sent back yet

    and i calmly explained that i needed the part back before i could issue credit for several minutes

    but she wouldn't relent and kept getting shittier

    so finally i just said, "look, you fucking shithead, if you want your god damned credit you're going to have to send the fucking part back first" and hung up on her

    and apparently she was just offended that i said "god damned"

    they don't let me talk to customers much anymore

    Sometimes you have to fire a customer. Into the sun.

    I ate an engineer
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    CasualCasual Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Flap Flap Flap Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    desc wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    many years ago i had a customer trying to play hardball with getting credit for a returned part she hadn't actually sent back yet

    and i calmly explained that i needed the part back before i could issue credit for several minutes

    but she wouldn't relent and kept getting shittier

    so finally i just said, "look, you fucking shithead, if you want your god damned credit you're going to have to send the fucking part back first" and hung up on her

    and apparently she was just offended that i said "god damned"

    they don't let me talk to customers much anymore

    Okay but

    Fuck people like that

    The world is full of people whose go-to phone move is "just be shittier and shittier" because they're relying on companies using phone people as sacrificial lambs until they eventually throw the angry customer some bone and it works often enough with no repercussions

    Fuck 'em

    oh i have no regrets for sure

    i don't take shit from nobody

    *brofist*

    It gets jack shit from me either. If they keep making the same demand to me I just keep saying EXACTLY the same sentence to them in a progressively more and more "explaining like they're five" tone of voice and if they swear at me I'm like "I don't have to take your call byeee" and hang up on them

    Basic rules of being a customer on the phone to me,

    1) The customer is not always right. I'm the one doing this professionally, I'm the one that tells you how it is not the other way around.

    2) You the customer is the one asking me for help, I am not obliged to give it. Speak to me like an asshole and you can find someone else to deal with your problem for you.

    3) If I say I'm not going to be providing you with service for whatever reason there is a finite amount of time I'm going to spend 'splainin it to you. No I don't care what you're going to do now that's your problem not mine, I got shit to do today other than repeating the word "no" to you for an hour.

    It's amazing how many people get on the phone to customer service people thinking they're the ones in complete and total control and it veeeeerrrryyy much does not work like that, you come on my turf you're playing by my rules SON.

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    cptruggedcptrugged I think it has something to do with free will. Registered User regular
    Being on the forums is like a day on the farm

    Every [chat] thread a banquet!
    Every cute pet post a fortune!
    Every banning a parade!

    I love the forums!

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    edited January 2018
    milski wrote: »
    Chanus wrote: »
    many years ago i had a customer trying to play hardball with getting credit for a returned part she hadn't actually sent back yet

    and i calmly explained that i needed the part back before i could issue credit for several minutes

    but she wouldn't relent and kept getting shittier

    so finally i just said, "look, you fucking shithead, if you want your god damned credit you're going to have to send the fucking part back first" and hung up on her

    and apparently she was just offended that i said "god damned"

    they don't let me talk to customers much anymore

    Sometimes you have to fire a customer. Into the sun.

    the best part is the choices here are basically us or the shitty international conglomerate with no service and higher prices

    so like

    sure they threaten to stop buying from us sometimes

    but they'll be back

    Chanus on
    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    Evil MultifariousEvil Multifarious Registered User regular
    what even is a steak umms

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    cptruggedcptrugged I think it has something to do with free will. Registered User regular
    Ok. I may have too much of Aliens memorized.

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    zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    P10 wrote: »
    desc wrote: »
    But isn't god like

    Always besmoting the tribes of the Canaanites or whatever in the Bible

    He floods the entire planet like a crybaby

    He damns things nonstop and lots of souls go to hell

    What's one more damning here and there
    listen that was old testament god new testament god has chilled out and doesn't play that shit no more

    as a dad I totally get the whole old testament / new testament thing now

    it's like

    you fuckers as so goddam annoying and short sighted and you won't heed anything I say I just wanna smite you

    but also I really love you im sorry it's not your fault here's a beautiful rainbow
    And it was Sodom and Gomorrah there anyways, that's how you got the kids.

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    LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    what even is a steak umms

    Cheesesteak meat, basically. Flash frozen thin slices of raw low grade steak. They're actually really good for making a fast cheeseteak.

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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    edited January 2018
    now Mal is taking the reigns

    take it away Mal

    ur hella awkward in the office and we all try to avoid talking to you

    but not right now

    right now you're my hero

    keep talking yess yess he's just talking and talking and talking i love it

    Element Brian on
    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    what even is a steak umms

    frozen shaved steak like the kind you would use in a cheesesteak

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    cptruggedcptrugged I think it has something to do with free will. Registered User regular
    what even is a steak umms

    Delicious

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    Sir LandsharkSir Landshark resting shark face Registered User regular
    p sure lud has a side gig as the steak umms marketing consultant

    Please consider the environment before printing this post.
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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    she's not rach umm? what the hell is a rach umm, another one of ur paleontologist terms i wouldn't know?

    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
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    BronzeKoopaBronzeKoopa Registered User regular
    Everytime I see or hear Steak Umms I'm reminded of the Big 'Uns nudie magazines from Married with Children.

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    kedinikkedinik Captain of Industry Registered User regular
    Casual wrote: »
    It's amazing how many people get on the phone to customer service people thinking they're the ones in complete and total control and it veeeeerrrryyy much does not work like that, you come on my turf you're playing by my rules SON.

    you're v tough and I'm super impressed

    I made a game! Hotline Maui. Requires mouse and keyboard.
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Everytime I see or hear Steak Umms I'm reminded of the Big 'Uns nudie magazines from Married with Children.

    nice

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    LudiousLudious I just wanted a sandwich A temporally dislocated QuiznosRegistered User regular
    p sure lud has a side gig as the steak umms marketing consultant

    Honestly, I really like them for a corporate account. They're funny, they interact with people, they hand out a lot of coupons, people being weird people were begging for steak umms merch so they released a bunch with all profits going to meals on wheels.

    I mean I'm sure there's problematic shit there but whatever they're fun to interact with

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    cptruggedcptrugged I think it has something to do with free will. Registered User regular
    Imma get some steakums next time I get groceries.

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    GimGim a tall glass of water Registered User regular
    So we all live on thin steak strips hurtling through space?

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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    i need to find a place here that has iberico ham bones

    it's going to be a challenge

    i can apparently buy a 16lb iberico ham on the internet for $450 but i'm thinking smaller scale

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    I personally prefer spam

    so versatile!

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
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    PreacherPreacher Registered User regular
    Google had me sign in to my account yesterday on my home machine and it freaked me out. Probably some window update reset my cookies. Weird thing was it was saying authorize a machine in redmond when I live in bothell, but I remembered that for some reason the geo coding for my area (like weather apps etc) always tags us in redmond.

    I would like some money because these are artisanal nuggets of wisdom philistine.

    pleasepaypreacher.net
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Eddy wrote: »
    I personally prefer spam

    so versatile!

    spam is good and i will fight people

    i mean not good for you

    probably actively harmful

    but

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Google had me sign in to my account yesterday on my home machine and it freaked me out. Probably some window update reset my cookies. Weird thing was it was saying authorize a machine in redmond when I live in bothell, but I remembered that for some reason the geo coding for my area (like weather apps etc) always tags us in redmond.

    I've seen some weird cert prompts in Google apps lately.

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    CasualCasual Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Flap Flap Flap Registered User regular
    Sad truth of the matter is capitalism works exactly the way we always feared it does, businesses give zero fucks about the individual customer and that is 100% down to a vocal minority of lunatics that make it impossible to run a real complaints process.

    We wouldnt keep employees longer than a week if complaints actually meant anything. Complaints and report functions are basically like the buttons on the road crossing, pushing them makes eejits feel like they're in control but really the button isn't hooked up to anything.

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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    oh man he just mentioned my name for something i'm not related to at all, hahaha shiiit man

    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    Preacher wrote: »
    Google had me sign in to my account yesterday on my home machine and it freaked me out. Probably some window update reset my cookies. Weird thing was it was saying authorize a machine in redmond when I live in bothell, but I remembered that for some reason the geo coding for my area (like weather apps etc) always tags us in redmond.

    my location is often like anywhere within 90 miles of me depending on the day

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    ChanusChanus Harbinger of the Spicy Rooster Apocalypse The Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered User regular
    oh man he just mentioned my name for something i'm not related to at all, hahaha shiiit man

    rip

    Allegedly a voice of reason.
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    CasualCasual Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Flap Flap Flap Registered User regular
    kedinik wrote: »
    Casual wrote: »
    It's amazing how many people get on the phone to customer service people thinking they're the ones in complete and total control and it veeeeerrrryyy much does not work like that, you come on my turf you're playing by my rules SON.

    you're v tough and I'm super impressed

    *hangs up phone*

    Showed HIM

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    firewaterwordfirewaterword Satchitananda Pais Vasco to San FranciscoRegistered User regular
    I'd really struggle in a position where I'd have to take a lot of calls at a desk. I'm pretty much incapable of talking on the phone without pacing around. But a body in motion is a mind in motion and all that.

    Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu
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    AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    Casual wrote: »
    Sad truth of the matter is capitalism works exactly the way we always feared it does, businesses give zero fucks about the individual customer and that is 100% down to a vocal minority of lunatics that make it impossible to run a real complaints process.

    We wouldnt keep employees longer than a week if complaints actually meant anything. Complaints and report functions are basically like the buttons on the road crossing, pushing them makes eejits feel like they're in control but really the button isn't hooked up to anything.

    you blame capitalism but then credit it with not letting the lunatic minority get their way

    I don't see the downside here

    ftOqU21.png
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    kedinikkedinik Captain of Industry Registered User regular
    Chanus wrote: »
    Eddy wrote: »
    I personally prefer spam

    so versatile!

    spam is good and i will fight people

    i mean not good for you

    probably actively harmful

    but

    nothing shocks the system like spam!

    I made a game! Hotline Maui. Requires mouse and keyboard.
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    BurnageBurnage Registered User regular
    Eddy wrote: »
    I personally prefer spam

    so versatile!

    One time while drunk I ate an entire tin of spam on a naan bread.

    I'm not allowed near spam any more.

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    AtomikaAtomika Live fast and get fucked or whatever Registered User regular
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Atomika wrote: »
    Mazzyx wrote: »
    Amy how long till you move to the Pacific grey west?

    Like, 12 days? Incredibly soon.

    Which end of the excited->freaking out spectrum are you on?

    Both.

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    nexuscrawlernexuscrawler Registered User regular
    my geolocating never works because google maps can't track the depth of my shame

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    Element BrianElement Brian Peanut Butter Shill Registered User regular
    oh shit my turns up next...

    tenor.gif

    Switch FC code:SW-2130-4285-0059

    Arch,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_goGR39m2k
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