Club PA 2.0 has arrived! If you'd like to access some extra PA content and help support the forums, check it out at patreon.com/ClubPA
The image size limit has been raised to 1mb! Anything larger than that should be linked to. This is a HARD limit, please do not abuse it.
Our new Indie Games subforum is now open for business in G&T. Go and check it out, you might land a code for a free game. If you're developing an indie game and want to post about it, follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
Our rules have been updated and given their own forum. Go and look at them! They are nice, and there may be new ones that you didn't know about! Hooray for rules! Hooray for The System! Hooray for Conforming!

[LGBTQIAU]: Bigger than bigots. Everyone in this thread is gorgeous and amazing FYI

19495969798100»

Posts

  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    edited February 2018
    Psykoma wrote: »
    I think quebec's had the worst name change process I've heard of

    How's it around there/here?

    1. Submit a request for preliminary analysis explaining why you want to change your name.
    2. If preliminary analaysis is approved, complete official application, including sworn statement in front of a person authorized to witness sworn statements, pay ~$150.
    3. Once applicaiton's been made, place two ads in consecutive weeks in the official quebec legal Gazette, detailing your old name, new name, and home address, at your own cost (~200$).
    4. Place two ads in consecutive weeks in a local newspaper, again detailing your old name, new name and home address, at your own cost (~$200).

    Send in proof of all of the above, wait 8-10 months to give the public a chance to register objections.
    Finally get your name change.
    Also of course both journals are also digital so someone could conceivably look up what your home address is when you're submitting the change, as well as your deadname. I feel like I should also note that I no longer live at the address listed in my public notices.


    That's the process as it existed when I changed my name many years ago, and I just looked up the process now to verify that I had remembered correctly, and they have added an exemption from having to give public notice if the name change is due to gender identity, so that's nice and makes the whole process pretty decent.

    Psykoma on
    21stCenturymysticjuicertynicElldren
  • NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    That process is horrifying, good lord

    Peewi21stCenturykimemysticjuicerDarkPrimusGrogMichaelLCThe Hanged ManShadowenInfidelPoketpixieDouglasDangerCurly_BraceToxRainfallceresRhesus PositiveSorcepimentoCromartyLucedeschrishallett83ApocalyptustynicGoatmon
  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    How do you prove you're using the new name if you're still in the process of trying to get people to use the new name?

    Energy/water companies don't seem to care what name they have on your account, so I got a couple bills changed. I added letters from HR and my GP to be safe.

    mmwshvuztx5m.png


  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    pooka wrote: »
    self-discovery whinging ahoy
    had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.

    she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.

    i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*

    said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.

    i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.

    self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.

    i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.

    *insomnia thoughts*
    Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
    That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
    And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.

    being poly has been an extremely good thing for me

    like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist

    my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    Usagiceres
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    That process is horrifying, good lord

    if only that was the worst part about being trans

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    Psykomapimento
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    .
    Dubh wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    pooka wrote: »
    self-discovery whinging ahoy
    had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.

    she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.

    i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*

    said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.

    i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.

    self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.

    i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.

    *insomnia thoughts*
    Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
    That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
    And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.

    being poly has been an extremely good thing for me

    like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist

    my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys

    It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)

    But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)

    DoobhmysticjuicerceresSorce
  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    Grog wrote: »
    Grog wrote: »
    I'm curious which bank that was.

    Natwest, though I get the impression most high street banks are the same.

    That's my bank. Yay!

    I guess you can just close your account and then open a new one with your new ID though?

    Yep. I even explained to them how bizarre it was that I could open a new account with them, but couldn't change my current account.

    It's part of the reason I got passport done first, it's made all the other ID changes easier. No GRC needed, just a deed poll, letter from GP and some proof I'm using the name.

    They are bullshitting you tbh. They can change the name on an account easily enough. If, by chance, their system is old and doesn't allow a gender change, which is perfectly possible, then there is no reason whatsoever that they can't build a new account on that system with your customer history and port your monies over. It's just that it'll be a pain in the arse for someone to do and take a couple of hours of actual work. They could absolutely do it if they wanted to, and almost certainly would if you made a big enough fuss.

    Source: I work for a UK bank.

    Infidel
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    Usagi wrote: »
    .
    Dubh wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    pooka wrote: »
    self-discovery whinging ahoy
    had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.

    she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.

    i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*

    said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.

    i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.

    self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.

    i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.

    *insomnia thoughts*
    Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
    That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
    And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.

    being poly has been an extremely good thing for me

    like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist

    my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys

    It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)

    But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)

    I have some abuse trauma that refuses to get resolved, so oh boy I'm used to having nightmares about partners leaving, or being nervous when a partner isn't talking to me even though they're just exhausted from work or stress

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
  • UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Dubh wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    .
    Dubh wrote: »
    Usagi wrote: »
    pooka wrote: »
    self-discovery whinging ahoy
    had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.

    she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.

    i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*

    said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.

    i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.

    self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.

    i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.

    *insomnia thoughts*
    Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
    That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
    And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.

    being poly has been an extremely good thing for me

    like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist

    my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys

    It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)

    But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)

    I have some abuse trauma that refuses to get resolved, so oh boy I'm used to having nightmares about partners leaving, or being nervous when a partner isn't talking to me even though they're just exhausted from work or stress

    The gentlest of fistbumps because also yes same <3

    DoobhRainfall
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    How do you prove you're using the new name if you're still in the process of trying to get people to use the new name?

    brass knuckles with the name printed on them so the people in question can see the new name in the mirror the next time they mess up

    Twitch Channel
    Steam: munkus_beaver
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
    http://www.ccfa.org/
    credeikiDoobhpablo_priceCurly_Bracechrishallett83
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    I've been signing everything in my real name even though it hasn't been officially changed via social security

    fuckers can try to and stop my, it's still my dang signature

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    The BetgirlmysticjuicerUsagiErin The RedPsykomapimentoCurly_Bracewanderingchrishallett83Elldren
  • InfamyDeferredInfamyDeferred Registered User regular
    VA just killed their LGBT housing and employment bills for the year

    Which will probably guarantee Amazon doesn't put their HQ here

    Party of commerce and business my fucking ass

    Elldren
  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    V1m wrote: »
    Grog wrote: »
    Grog wrote: »
    I'm curious which bank that was.

    Natwest, though I get the impression most high street banks are the same.

    That's my bank. Yay!

    I guess you can just close your account and then open a new one with your new ID though?

    Yep. I even explained to them how bizarre it was that I could open a new account with them, but couldn't change my current account.

    It's part of the reason I got passport done first, it's made all the other ID changes easier. No GRC needed, just a deed poll, letter from GP and some proof I'm using the name.

    They are bullshitting you tbh. They can change the name on an account easily enough. If, by chance, their system is old and doesn't allow a gender change, which is perfectly possible, then there is no reason whatsoever that they can't build a new account on that system with your customer history and port your monies over. It's just that it'll be a pain in the arse for someone to do and take a couple of hours of actual work. They could absolutely do it if they wanted to, and almost certainly would if you made a big enough fuss.

    Source: I work for a UK bank.

    Oh for sure, but there's only so many times I can spend my lunch break waiting for someone to make excuses to try to get me to go away.

    Just got so emotionally draining having to argue my case in front of a queue of strangers.

    mmwshvuztx5m.png


  • V1mV1m Registered User regular
    edited February 2018
    Raise a complaint and ask if they want to deal with a gender discrimination case via the ombudsman. Don't give the poor chump you talk to a hard time, just ask them to raise it and say that you'll refer it to the Banking ombudsman within 5 working days if you don't receive a satisfactory response. Make sure to give them an email address as a primary contact. Get the full name of anyone you speak to. Ask them to email confirmation of anything they tell you, and stay in the line until you have received that email. Be nice, but be firm.

    You will get what you need within 2 days.

    V1m on
    pimento
  • Blameless ClericBlameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered User regular
    I'm feeling so cute today !!

    9VEGEFpl.jpg

    Orphane wrote: »

    one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them

    I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
    Grogmori1972ceresPoketpixieToxRainfallWhippyAllyxiaCouscouscredeikimasterofmetroidShadowenPsykomaDoobhSorceOne Thousand CablesErin The RedpimentoWyvernCromartymysticjuicerDouglasDangerThe Hanged Mantzeentchlingwanderingreplacewythychrishallett83ApocalyptusNightDragonElldrenknitdanMoth 13Goatmon
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    VA just killed their LGBT housing and employment bills for the year

    Which will probably guarantee Amazon doesn't put their HQ here

    Party of commerce and business my fucking ass

    We can hope, anyway.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
    Erin The Red
  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    I'm feeling so cute today !!

    9VEGEFpl.jpg

    Indeed!

    Wishlists! General | Gaming | Comics | Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
    RainfallcredeikiErin The RedBlameless ClericNightDragonElldren
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    hm my fate/planescape game has us talking to an NPC that the GM starts out by referring to with they pronouns (tiefling Sensate with rubenesque figure but also a goatee), and then the GM can't remember and switches to she like 50% of the time

    I cannot handle how even all my progressive friends somehow cannot actually figure out how to use they pronouns and so obviously categorize as one or the other even fictional people they created who are clearly meant to be androgynous, let alone real people e.g. me

    bleh

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    air-photos.tumblr.com
    Erin The RedBlameless ClericwanderingElldren
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    fuck Amazon

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
    Apocalyptus
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
This discussion has been closed.