How do you prove you're using the new name if you're still in the process of trying to get people to use the new name?
Energy/water companies don't seem to care what name they have on your account, so I got a couple bills changed. I added letters from HR and my GP to be safe.
had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.
she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.
i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*
said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.
i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.
self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.
i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.
*insomnia thoughts*
Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.
being poly has been an extremely good thing for me
like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist
my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.
she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.
i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*
said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.
i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.
self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.
i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.
*insomnia thoughts*
Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.
being poly has been an extremely good thing for me
like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist
my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys
It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)
But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)
Natwest, though I get the impression most high street banks are the same.
That's my bank. Yay!
I guess you can just close your account and then open a new one with your new ID though?
Yep. I even explained to them how bizarre it was that I could open a new account with them, but couldn't change my current account.
It's part of the reason I got passport done first, it's made all the other ID changes easier. No GRC needed, just a deed poll, letter from GP and some proof I'm using the name.
They are bullshitting you tbh. They can change the name on an account easily enough. If, by chance, their system is old and doesn't allow a gender change, which is perfectly possible, then there is no reason whatsoever that they can't build a new account on that system with your customer history and port your monies over. It's just that it'll be a pain in the arse for someone to do and take a couple of hours of actual work. They could absolutely do it if they wanted to, and almost certainly would if you made a big enough fuss.
had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.
she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.
i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*
said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.
i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.
self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.
i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.
*insomnia thoughts*
Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.
being poly has been an extremely good thing for me
like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist
my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys
It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)
But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)
I have some abuse trauma that refuses to get resolved, so oh boy I'm used to having nightmares about partners leaving, or being nervous when a partner isn't talking to me even though they're just exhausted from work or stress
Miss me? Find me on:
Twitch (I stream most days of the week) Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
had therapy for the first time in months last week and brought up gray ace as a possibility (vs suppressed libido from depression.) i put myself on the spot with it and didn't explain it well, which is fitting since i'm still figuring it out myself.
she pointed out that responsive arousal exists, so now i've got some homework to observe if that's consistently part of my thing.
i don't think they're mutually exclusive; i'm only bothered because i'm trying to generally sort out what's personality and what's pathology. plus the whole.. being unemployed and relying on my partner making any relationship-altering exploration have an unfortunate edge. but that's nothing new -- anxiety *jazzhands*
said partner has mostly been supportive, but i haven't really forced the idea of me being poly or bi. i've always jokingly countered assertions to my straightness with "I'm mostly straight," (having never been with a same-sex partner, which yes bi-erasure bullshit, but i carry a lot of self-doubt), and we started our relationship while i had a FWB and discussed polyamory then. he was ultimately uncomfortable with it, and i have maintained that i chose him, "not monogamy." over a decade plus.
i'm not even sure i'd want to be with anyone else or deal with the logistics, but i'm increasingly wanting his clear support that i'm not. .. het. i feel like i'm half in the closet.
self-doubt resurfaces, annoyance that i might need outside validation, and a niggling voice that says i should keep my mouth shut and just appreciate what i have. sigh.
i just feel i should know myself better, but a chunk of that is brain spiders/life being what it is. part of growth is change.
*insomnia thoughts*
Responsive arousal is definitely a thing, if you can find a copy I'd suggest having a look at the book Come As You Are--it's a bit schlocky, but Dr Nagoski has done a lot of really interesting research into female arousal markers and how they kind of shrivel in long term monogamous relationships.
That said knowing how your desire cycle works goes a long way to being able to communicate your sexual needs/un-needs to your partner(s), if nothing else it's SUPER VALIDATING to know that this is NORMAL.
And if you want to talk about being poly and bi in a long-term "straight" relationship, hmu as I am There right now and it's wild fuckin ride.
being poly has been an extremely good thing for me
like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist
my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys
It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)
But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)
I have some abuse trauma that refuses to get resolved, so oh boy I'm used to having nightmares about partners leaving, or being nervous when a partner isn't talking to me even though they're just exhausted from work or stress
The gentlest of fistbumps because also yes same
+2
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Natwest, though I get the impression most high street banks are the same.
That's my bank. Yay!
I guess you can just close your account and then open a new one with your new ID though?
Yep. I even explained to them how bizarre it was that I could open a new account with them, but couldn't change my current account.
It's part of the reason I got passport done first, it's made all the other ID changes easier. No GRC needed, just a deed poll, letter from GP and some proof I'm using the name.
They are bullshitting you tbh. They can change the name on an account easily enough. If, by chance, their system is old and doesn't allow a gender change, which is perfectly possible, then there is no reason whatsoever that they can't build a new account on that system with your customer history and port your monies over. It's just that it'll be a pain in the arse for someone to do and take a couple of hours of actual work. They could absolutely do it if they wanted to, and almost certainly would if you made a big enough fuss.
Source: I work for a UK bank.
Oh for sure, but there's only so many times I can spend my lunch break waiting for someone to make excuses to try to get me to go away.
Just got so emotionally draining having to argue my case in front of a queue of strangers.
Raise a complaint and ask if they want to deal with a gender discrimination case via the ombudsman. Don't give the poor chump you talk to a hard time, just ask them to raise it and say that you'll refer it to the Banking ombudsman within 5 working days if you don't receive a satisfactory response. Make sure to give them an email address as a primary contact. Get the full name of anyone you speak to. Ask them to email confirmation of anything they tell you, and stay in the line until you have received that email. Be nice, but be firm.
You will get what you need within 2 days.
V1m on
+1
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Blameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered Userregular
one flower ring to rule them all and in the sunlightness bind them
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
+33
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
hm my fate/planescape game has us talking to an NPC that the GM starts out by referring to with they pronouns (tiefling Sensate with rubenesque figure but also a goatee), and then the GM can't remember and switches to she like 50% of the time
I cannot handle how even all my progressive friends somehow cannot actually figure out how to use they pronouns and so obviously categorize as one or the other even fictional people they created who are clearly meant to be androgynous, let alone real people e.g. me
Posts
Energy/water companies don't seem to care what name they have on your account, so I got a couple bills changed. I added letters from HR and my GP to be safe.
being poly has been an extremely good thing for me
like, with most of my partners I can be comfortable knowing that SOMEONE is taking care of them when I'm too low on spoons to exist
my bi-ness has not really been explored so much because, as implied, there's not a lot of me to go around these days + I'm extremely picky/paranoid about boys
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
if only that was the worst part about being trans
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
It's been pretty amazing for me as well, though I won't say it's been easy (looooooool anxious attachment style)
But I legit wouldn't change it for the world because I am the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in any relationship(s)
They are bullshitting you tbh. They can change the name on an account easily enough. If, by chance, their system is old and doesn't allow a gender change, which is perfectly possible, then there is no reason whatsoever that they can't build a new account on that system with your customer history and port your monies over. It's just that it'll be a pain in the arse for someone to do and take a couple of hours of actual work. They could absolutely do it if they wanted to, and almost certainly would if you made a big enough fuss.
Source: I work for a UK bank.
I have some abuse trauma that refuses to get resolved, so oh boy I'm used to having nightmares about partners leaving, or being nervous when a partner isn't talking to me even though they're just exhausted from work or stress
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
The gentlest of fistbumps because also yes same
brass knuckles with the name printed on them so the people in question can see the new name in the mirror the next time they mess up
fuckers can try to and stop my, it's still my dang signature
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Which will probably guarantee Amazon doesn't put their HQ here
Party of commerce and business my fucking ass
Oh for sure, but there's only so many times I can spend my lunch break waiting for someone to make excuses to try to get me to go away.
Just got so emotionally draining having to argue my case in front of a queue of strangers.
You will get what you need within 2 days.
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
We can hope, anyway.
Indeed!
I cannot handle how even all my progressive friends somehow cannot actually figure out how to use they pronouns and so obviously categorize as one or the other even fictional people they created who are clearly meant to be androgynous, let alone real people e.g. me
bleh
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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