TAKE ME DOWN TO THE [PODCAST] CITY WHERE THE GRASS IS GREEN AND THE GIRLS ARE PRETTY

Poorochondriac · March 2018

I'm only attracted to women who've made the same dark pacts with the same eldritch gods as me

Chincymcchilla · March 2018

Munkus Beaver wrote: »

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

superspork wrote: »

Mr. G wrote: »

Cello wrote: »

masterofmetroid wrote: »

I hate that i know what sapiosexual means

I hate even more that it's almost a useful categorization because i hear things that qualify for that attitude regularly

I hate to ask, but what does it mean

Lotta dudes using it on Bumble outta nowhere and I have no idea if it's code or something

They’re attracted to “intelligence”

I've seen it used by women on Bumble, etc as well. As a straight white male nerd who isn't good at dating, it sounded interesting at first but after I though about it a bit it made me feel more wary than anything. While I hope most of them don't mean it this way there's something elitist and eugenics-y about it that I really don't like.

It's not even necessarily that

That's some "I'm the nice guy" self identifying bullshit

Oh, come off it. The first time I ever saw it referenced was in a bisexual woman's dating profile. Ya'll are being overly cynical, and this is me saying this.

I will take your advice on who isn't a jerk very, very seriously munkus, thank you

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

replacewythy wrote: »

The term sapiosexual is fucked up from the beginning because it equates being attracted to intelligence with sexual orientation, so you know something's off when someone uses it.

Yeah, intelligence being a component of your attraction to a person is one thing, but I feel like most people who say it's the singular defining characteristic are lying, either to you or themselves. Attraction is a complex mix of physical and personality traits (with different aspects even changing in prominence over time) and intelligence is difficult to actually define in any universal sense anyway.

Straightzi · March 2018

Sapiosexual:Myers-Briggs::Spiritual:Zodiac

Munkus Beaver · March 2018

I have basically never seen it referenced as the "singular defining characteristic" and almost always as part of a list, as if the person was clarifying "intelligence is important to me" in shorthand.

Poorochondriac · March 2018

Maybe they were all trying to type spyrosexual and got done dirty by autocorrect

Straightzi · March 2018

Munkus Beaver wrote: »

I have basically never seen it referenced as the "singular defining characteristic" and almost always as part of a list, as if the person was clarifying "intelligence is important to me" in shorthand.

If that is the case, it's still a bad shorthand, as it is conflating an interest in "intelligent" partners with an expression of sexual orientation.

superspork · March 2018

Omni, you explained it much better than I did. There's usually other things in a profile that put me off seeing that just seals me swiping left.

-Tal · March 2018

sapiosexual always brings to mind the cline poem

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

Grey Ghost · March 2018

I really just want to settle down with a girl who took the Great Weapon Mastery feat

Poorochondriac · March 2018

Grey Ghost wrote: »

I really just want to settle down with a girl who took the Great Weapon Mastery feat

But Graham that means she'll be operating your dirk at a -1 modifier

Chincymcchilla · March 2018

-Tal wrote: »

sapiosexual always brings to mind the cline poem

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

Why isn't it possible to hate someone to death

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

-Tal wrote: »

sapiosexual always brings to mind the cline poem

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

Why isn't it possible to hate someone to death

I'm glad it's not because I really like you and want you to stick around

Chincymcchilla · March 2018

Also that poem actually does bring something up

Cline thinks "smart" means "can quote star wars facts"

"intelligence" is easy code for "have the same beliefs and interests that I do"

It's a way of saying "I want someone who already likes the things I like and believes the things I do and also if you don't value those things, I believe you to be stupid"

it suuuuucks

replacewythy · March 2018

Let's have a reasonable, measured opinion on this that considers both sides of the argument.

https://twitter.com/thewokegamer/status/932613326521151488?s=19

Chincymcchilla · March 2018

OmnipotentBagel wrote: »

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

-Tal wrote: »

sapiosexual always brings to mind the cline poem

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

Why isn't it possible to hate someone to death

I'm glad it's not because I really like you and want you to stick around

STOP MAKING ME BLUSH WHILE IM ANGRY ITS VERY AWKWARD

Straightzi · March 2018

Someone who says they're sapiosexual is saying that they believe that they are inherently a better person than someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word sapiosexual.

pyromaniac221 · March 2018

-Tal wrote: »

sapiosexual always brings to mind the cline poem

I've noticed that there don't seem to be any porno movies

that are made for guys like me.

All the porn I've come across

was targeted at beer-swilling sports bar dwelling alpha-males

Men who like their women stupid and submissive

Men who can only get it up for monosyllabic cock-hungry nymphos

with gargantuan breasts and a three-word vocabulary

Adult films are populated with these collagen-injected

liposuctioned women

Many of whom have resorted to surgery and self-mutilation

in an attempt to look the way they have been told to look.

These aren't real women. They're objects.

And these movies aren't erotic. They're pathetic.

These vacuum-headed fuck bunnies don't turn me on.

They disgust me.

And it's not that I'm against pornography.

I mean, I'm a guy. And guys need porn.

Fact.

"Like a preacher needs pain, like a needle needs a vein,"

Guys need porn.

But I don't wanna watch this misogynist he-man woman-hater porn.

I want porno movies that are made with guys like me in mind:

Guys who know that the sexiest thing in the world

is a woman who is smarter than you are.

You can have the whole cheerleading squad,

I want the girl in the tweed skirt and the horn-rimmed glasses:

Betty Finnebowski, the valedictorian.

Oh yes.

First I want to copy her Trig homework,

and then I want to make mad, passionate love to her

for hours and hours

until she reluctantly asks if we can stop

because she doesn't want to miss Battlestar Galactica.

Summa cum laude, baby!

That is what I call erotic.

But do you ever see that kind of a woman in a contemporary adult film?

No.

Which is why I'm going to start writing and directing Geek Porno.

I shall be the quintessential Nerd Porn Auteur.

And the women in my porno movies will be the kind

that drive nerds like me mad with desire.

I'm talking about the girls that used to fuck up the grading curve.

The girls in the Latin Club and the National Honor Society.

Chicks with weird clothes, braces, four eyes, and 4.0 GPAs.

Brainy articulate bookworms, with MENSA cards in their purses

and chips on their shoulders.

My porn starlets will come in all shapes and sizes.

My porn starlets will be too busy working on their PhD to go to the gym.

In my kind of porno movies the girls wouldn't even have to get naked.

They'd just take the guys down to the rec room and

beat them repeatedly at chess

and then talk to them for hours about Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle

or the underlying social metaphors in the Aliens movies.

Buy stock in some hand cream companies

because there is about to be a major shortage.

And I'm not just talking about straight porn. Oh no.

There should be fuck films for my nerd brethren

of all sexual orientations.

Gay nerd porn flicks with titles like "Dungeons and Drag-queens."

This idea is a fucking gold mine.

I am gonna make millions,

because this country is full of database programmers

and electronics engineers

and they aren't getting the loving they so desperately need.

And you can help . . .

If you're an intelligent woman is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,

and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,

then you are hired.

It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.

You are beautiful. . .

And I will make you a star.

ha ha ha fuck my entire life up

-Tal · March 2018

I'm in general very suspicious of people who identify themselves and others primarily by their intelligence

replacewythy · March 2018

Straightzi wrote: »

Someone who says they're sapiosexual is saying that they believe that they are inherently a better person than someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word sapiosexual.

And that's not just wrong, but the opposite of the truth, all of us are worse people for knowing the word sapiosexual.

Kane Red Robe · March 2018

Uriel wrote: »

Kayne Red Robe wrote: »

Wait, which Columbus are we talking about?

that state that's round on both sides and high in the middle.

Ah, having checked it is not the Columbus I can offer a spare bedroom in, sorry.

Mx. Quill · March 2018

rhylith wrote: »

AtomicTofu wrote: »

https://twitter.com/ollymoss/status/973940699631702016?s=19

Olly Moss is the finest purveyor of Garfs around

Oh goddammit I didn't see it at first.

Theodore Floosevelt · March 2018

crwth wrote: »

Theodore Floosevelt wrote: »

I'm personally attracted to constitution. it's why i live in america

the obama years must have been rough for you!!

hehe... the truth might surprise you. you can read all about it in my upcoming memoirs "edging in the obama presidency: one american's solution to 8 years of no 'tution"

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

Give me a Firewatch: Olly Moss' Cut. It's the same game but with Garfs hidden all over the place, like the hidden Mickeys at Disneyland

BahamutZERO · March 2018

Emerlmaster999 wrote: »

rhylith wrote: »

AtomicTofu wrote: »

https://twitter.com/ollymoss/status/973940699631702016?s=19

Olly Moss is the finest purveyor of Garfs around

Oh goddammit I didn't see it at first.

I cant' find the garf

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

H- how do you not see the Garf in that GIF? It's even colored to catch the eye...

Grey Ghost · March 2018

Poorochondriac wrote: »

Grey Ghost wrote: »

I really just want to settle down with a girl who took the Great Weapon Mastery feat

But Graham that means she'll be operating your dirk at a -1 modifier

Okay everyone, when they find me dead, tell em Pooro did it

Theodore Floosevelt · March 2018

the cline poem is so potent. it hits like a cobra kai kick to the solar plexus (now I know how recipients of the tatsumaki senpukyaku feel!)

superspork · March 2018

Theodore Floosevelt wrote: »

the cline poem is so potent. it hits like a cobra kai kick to the solar plexus (now I know how recipients of the tatsumaki senpukyaku feel!)

Shouldn't that be "like a Cobra Kai kick (from the classic film Karate Kid) to the solar plexus."

God I've listened to too much 372 Pages.

SimBen · March 2018

Like I can sorta see sapiosexual being used on a woman's profile as an attempt to ward off jerks, like oh don't apply unless you're smart

problem is all boys think they're smart, and then they appropriate the term because boys appropriate everything

Maddoc · March 2018

Haha yes, intelligent people are never jerks

Chincymcchilla · March 2018

Yeah simon that wouldn't work anyway

intelligence does not equal good-partner-ness

SimBen · March 2018

I'm not saying it's an effective tactic but that's probably part of where the intent comes from.

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

Chincymcchilla wrote: »

Yeah simon that wouldn't work anyway

intelligence does not equal good-partner-ness

And isn't really quantifiably definable anyway.

Tallahasseeriel · March 2018

I was talking to a woman on a dating site who used the term sapiosexual.

Turns out she wasn't my type! I feel bad but she was clearly putting on airs to fit in with a specific kind of guy (the Ernest Cline type of nerdy guy) and I kinda just felt sorry for her for that and bounced. (it wasn't just her using the term, it was some of her question answers on OKC and some of our conversations we had)

BahamutZERO · March 2018

OmnipotentBagel wrote: »

H- how do you not see the Garf in that GIF? It's even colored to catch the eye...

Oh is it an animated gif? I'm using a very slightly aged ipad so it barely functions and apparently just shows the first frame of animated gifs

SimBen · March 2018

"I'm more attracted to someone who is smart than to a dumb shit" is such a truism it's basically not even worth saying.

OmnipotentBagel · March 2018

BahamutZERO wrote: »

OmnipotentBagel wrote: »

H- how do you not see the Garf in that GIF? It's even colored to catch the eye...

Oh is it an animated gif? I'm using a very slightly aged ipad so it barely functions and apparently just shows the first frame of animated gifs

That would explain it. Yeah, these Olly Moss Garfs are often a short animation that reveals the Garf in something that, at first blush, appears mundanely Garfless

Maddoc · March 2018

Not to mention that sort of terminology is like catnip to the sort of "smart people" that picked up things quickly in high school and that solidified their perception of themselves

I can't say for sure, but I bet you any lady putting that into their online dating profile would get buried in fedoras

Tallahasseeriel · March 2018

Maddoc wrote: »

Not to mention that sort of terminology is like catnip to the sort of "smart people" that picked up things quickly in high school and that solidified their perception of themselves

I can't say for sure, but I bet you any lady putting that into their online dating profile would get buried in fedoras

The lady I found was WEARING a fedora.

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