As a rule, any marriage in which one partner can willingly cry out to the other, “Trampoline me!,” inspires only envy and awe. In the heat of the action, that is what Mr. Incredible says to Mrs. Incredible, in “Incredibles 2,” and I’m disappointed to report that the action in question is merely the manic pursuit of a gigantic drill that is whirring through a crowded city and demolishing everything in its path, rather than a lazy afternoon in the marital boudoir with the door discreetly shut.
i don't think this person has ever had sex
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3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
I just read the actual article and it's weird and terribly written. And then the byline says the guy has been writing reviews for them since 1993. It's incredible how someone so bad at writing has been doing it for so long.
These did not come easily. My attitude to “The Incredibles,” upon its release, resembled that of an ancient Egyptian toward the sun god, Ra, and it has barely dimmed in the interim. It was with fear and trembling, therefore, that I looked ahead to the second coming. Would Bird be able to sustain the fast, angular moves of the first—the near-geometric nicety with which Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson), Bob’s skating super-pal, charted his ice-cool vectors across the screen?
shut uppppppppppppppppppppppppp
THAT OF AN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TOWARD THE SUN GOD, RA
If I went to see The Incredible 2, a movie for and largely attended by children, and found it to be a profound, earth-shatteringly erotic experience, I would keep that very much under my hat.
As a rule, any marriage in which one partner can willingly cry out to the other, “Trampoline me!,” inspires only envy and awe. In the heat of the action, that is what Mr. Incredible says to Mrs. Incredible, in “Incredibles 2,” and I’m disappointed to report that the action in question is merely the manic pursuit of a gigantic drill that is whirring through a crowded city and demolishing everything in its path, rather than a lazy afternoon in the marital boudoir with the door discreetly shut.
i don't think this person has ever had sex
They probably know everything they need about the pennist and vargina
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Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
If I went to see The Incredible 2, a movie for and largely attended by children, and found it to be a profound, earth-shatteringly erotic experience, I would keep that very much under my hat.
Best way to keep it covered, yeah.
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
If I went to see The Incredible 2, a movie for and largely attended by children, and found it to be a profound, earth-shatteringly erotic experience, I would keep that very much under my hat.
Ah, a Full Monty fan, I see
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Inquisitor772 x Penny Arcade Fight Club ChampionA fixed point in space and timeRegistered Userregular
edited June 2018
Hot Take: Anything in The New Yorker that isn't reporting is trash.
I just read the actual article and it's weird and terribly written. And then the byline says the guy has been writing reviews for them since 1993. It's incredible how someone so bad at writing has been doing it for so long.
These did not come easily. My attitude to “The Incredibles,” upon its release, resembled that of an ancient Egyptian toward the sun god, Ra, and it has barely dimmed in the interim. It was with fear and trembling, therefore, that I looked ahead to the second coming. Would Bird be able to sustain the fast, angular moves of the first—the near-geometric nicety with which Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson), Bob’s skating super-pal, charted his ice-cool vectors across the screen?
shut uppppppppppppppppppppppppp
THAT OF AN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TOWARD THE SUN GOD, RA
holy christ
imagine writing that out, seriously and sincerely, and publishing it for all the world to see
I wonder how horny you can make your review of a children's film before an editor steps in and asks you to keep it in your pants
I believe that is the mission statement of The New Yorker's reviews section.
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Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
a lot to very, apparently
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Shortytouching the meatIntergalactic Cool CourtRegistered Userregular
at least The Stranger's stunt reviewer is an insane Marxist, not a weird creep
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Clint EastwoodMy baby's in there someplaceShe crawled right inRegistered Userregular
Please tell me that armond white wrote that.
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Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
as an ancient egyptian, i can confirm that one of my most prized possessions is my ra steelbook
I just read the actual article and it's weird and terribly written. And then the byline says the guy has been writing reviews for them since 1993. It's incredible how someone so bad at writing has been doing it for so long.
These did not come easily. My attitude to “The Incredibles,” upon its release, resembled that of an ancient Egyptian toward the sun god, Ra, and it has barely dimmed in the interim. It was with fear and trembling, therefore, that I looked ahead to the second coming. Would Bird be able to sustain the fast, angular moves of the first—the near-geometric nicety with which Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson), Bob’s skating super-pal, charted his ice-cool vectors across the screen?
shut uppppppppppppppppppppppppp
Hey, I was born in 1993, it wasn't that...long...ago....
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
It sounds like this guy really doesn't want to do movie reviews, anymore.
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MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
I already walked into The Incredibles 2 with a horny bee in my, shall we say, aroused bonnet; this was a result of an amateur mistake I had made pre-screening - watching Bee Movie, an animated film so adrift in a sea of sexual musk that you had to build your own raft of whatever wood you may lay your hands on at any time simply to avoid drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
I already walked into The Incredibles 2 with a horny bee in my, shall we say, aroused bonnet; this was a result of an amateur mistake I had made pre-screening - watching Bee Movie, an animated film so adrift in a sea of sexual musk that you had to build your own raft of whatever wood you may lay your hands on at any time simply to avoid drowning in the ever heaving waters of mother Earth's salty tiddy.
Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
All of them are real but Mal's which is a pretty damn good riff/escalation of the man's prose.
it must be preserved for posterity
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MalReynoldsThe Hunter S Thompson of incredibly mild medicinesRegistered Userregular
I definitely made mine up but I honestly thought some of the others were fake too
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
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StraightziHere we may reign secure, and in my choice,To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered Userregular
Super late but I don't care, treasure planet is fantastic. It has unbelievably good visuals, an awesome space pirate captain lady, and David Hyde Pierce.
The lead is the weakest link, but that's always the way for Jim Hawkins.
Atlantis has some of the best supporting character designs in an animated film, but kind of falls apart in the back half. Which is a pity, because the start is really fun.
Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
Trampoline me, honey. The words reverberate through my cranium, threatening to burst forth--were I not the erudite sophisticate I am and instead 'twere I Zeus (Jupiter to the citizens of the Holy Roman Empire (at least until Emperor Constantine the first died!)) I might fret that mine own melon might erupt with some manifestation of uncontrollable erotic id, likely in the form of an adult, combat-capable woman, she who is named Athena but who bears the shape of another: Helen!! Helen!!! I read books a whole lot and I want to jack off to this movie!!!!!!
Posts
to be fair
i don't think this person has ever had sex
no.
c'mon
Also the noir P.I. novel I'm writing.
uh-uh
THAT OF AN ANCIENT EGYPTIAN TOWARD THE SUN GOD, RA
holy christ
They probably know everything they need about the pennist and vargina
Best way to keep it covered, yeah.
Ah, a Full Monty fan, I see
imagine writing that out, seriously and sincerely, and publishing it for all the world to see
imagine
I believe that is the mission statement of The New Yorker's reviews section.
Hey, I was born in 1993, it wasn't that...long...ago....
6/10
Nice concept, but I feel like you went for like, bronzebook or something you could have really pulled it to where it needs to be
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
yo I thought they fired Harry Knowles
a "phar"(aoh) criticism!!
I think all of them except Mal's are real.
All of them are real but Mal's which is a pretty damn good riff/escalation of the man's prose.
it must be preserved for posterity
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
I guess at least the reviewer isn't alone in his particular predicament
The lead is the weakest link, but that's always the way for Jim Hawkins.
Atlantis has some of the best supporting character designs in an animated film, but kind of falls apart in the back half. Which is a pity, because the start is really fun.
Some good ones: