@lonelyahava I wasn’t aware that that was you coming out! I already knew from the previous thread so I assumed it wasn’t news, but yay and I wish I had commented, now.
Perhaps some day I shall have the same confidence!
+3
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
No stress about it!
I'm in a weird state where I think most people know, but not really but maybe but does it matter cause I'm still in a hetero marriage, etc etc.
I'm good with it and chalking it to to Facebook just hiding me from people. Or people hiding me.
I think it's really important for bi people in monogamous relationships to talk about being bi, if they're comfortable doing so.
I had a stray thought the other day, that part of bi erasure might be an unintended side-effect of how society doesn't just treat monogamy as the default, but more or less sells the lie that there's no way you can be in a committed relationship with more than one person at a time?
I think it's really important for bi people in monogamous relationships to talk about being bi, if they're comfortable doing so.
I had a stray thought the other day, that part of bi erasure might be an unintended side-effect of how society doesn't just treat monogamy as the default, but more or less sells the lie that there's no way you can be in a committed relationship with more than one person at a time?
It's definitely wrapped up in toxic puritanical ideas of monogamous attraction. It's the lie that leads to relationships full of jealousy and resentment because people think if they're "doing it right" they'll be "enough" for their partner and they won't be attracted to other people. It's the lie that informs the idea that bi people are all amoral hedonists who could never settle down with a single person (because we wouldn't be fulfilling our desires, you see). And yes, it's the lie that leads people to say that most bi people are really either gay or straight and simply "waiting to make up their minds", because once you settle down with a person you waive all right to be attracted to anyone else.
Am trying very hard to build a morality from basically scratch and it's really hard, I should probably read more philosophy books. Being a good person is difficult!
But the bisexuality doesn't have much to do with that, it's just a sweet extra. I miss kissing boys, haven't seen any cute ones in months
You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, I guess?
Because all I've ever been told by right-wing Christian fundies is that I'm going to hell for the orgy-fueled lifestyle that comes with being 100% homosexual.
I mean, I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship with one person for nearly a decade. And then we opened it up to include a third because we found someone who fits and who we love, and why limit love to just a singular person?
It's like that whole hypothetical of "If you've found your soulmate, and one dies before the other, should the surviving mate live forever as a widow, because they could never love again?"
Hey so, on the topic of Wandersong, that game I was mentioning earlier in the thread (because the game has surprisingly solid queer representation); I just realized earlier that a side-character who gets a big spotlight early on in the game, an accordionist named Ash who puts on a show with you, might be non-binary. I'd normally assume this isn't the case, because enbies get so little attention. Buuuuut this game is way above average in that regard, so I decided to ask the dev.
You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, I guess?
Because all I've ever been told by right-wing Christian fundies is that I'm going to hell for the orgy-fueled lifestyle that comes with being 100% homosexual.
I mean, I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship with one person for nearly a decade. And then we opened it up to include a third because we found someone who fits and who we love, and why limit love to just a singular person?
It's like that whole hypothetical of "If you've found your soulmate, and one dies before the other, should the surviving mate live forever as a widow, because they could never love again?"
Fuck no.
I've explicitly told Amara that, if the worst should happen to me, I'd like her to try to find happiness with somebody else.
I hate the thought of her spending the rest of her life alone.
The Trump administration on Monday began denying visas to same-sex domestic partners of foreign diplomats and United Nations employees, and requiring those already in the United States to get married by the end of the year or leave the country.
Hm today my work badge had the wrong name on it, but most of my other stuff has the correct name on it and the badge office was like 'argghhh omg sorry the company is super inconsistent about where it uses your preferred name vs legal name this happens all the fucking time sorry we'll fix that within the next few days' so *shrug*
Yesterday some people saw me as male and also I was like fuck it and used the men's room although there was a line; but then again today everyone seemed to see me as female (but when they used 'she', at a break in the conversation I was like 'oh hey actually I'm one of those people who uses they pronouns,' and the table I was sitting with was like 'oh aaaaa sorry I didn't mean to mis-pronoun you!!' --although then these other people I was talking to, same interaction, they're like 'oh so like the character from Billions who uses they pronouns? You look like her, sort of' and I'm just like '......'.) But I think it'll be fine, and, as a positive sign, there was someone's transition story on the company intranet showcasing little personal snippets from employees, so, all right.
My officewear is completely not up to snuff but that's a company culture thing and not a transition thing. Business 'casual' my ass; these people are so formal! I need more than one pair of nice slacks and definitely a better quality/more well-fitted set of shirts. Goodbye $$$$s...
Steam, LoL: credeiki
+8
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
BOWSETTE DRESS CAME IN
I need to do some more work on getting it to fit better and like... Get a bra and stuff, but I am very happy with how it looks out of the bag
Oh hey, so its new thread time (wow I totally missed that!).
So, hi, hi, Paul, gay, queer (and feeling like I am sliding into some form of asexuality - still figuring that one out), fast approaching 50 and feeling every second of it, HIV+ for 18 years now, brain generally a hot mess and lots of things I hate, hate, hate about myself.
Going through a major lurk phase at the moment - not sure if its depression rearing its head or some other stuff - but finding it super hard to engage/stay engaged with stuff or interact (hence me pretty much disappearing from posting on here for the longest time).
Anyways, queer visibility all up ins, so hi o/
It's all saltwater these days:
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.
It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.
Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.
It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.
I use those memories as anchor points when the self-doubt starts to creep in. No, this isn't just a fleeting fancy, remember how jealous you were of the girls in your class when puberty hit, remember every time you read a gender swap story and wished so hard that it could be real, because you're "really curious what it would be like"
+9
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.
It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.
I use those memories as anchor points when the self-doubt starts to creep in. No, this isn't just a fleeting fancy, remember how jealous you were of the girls in your class when puberty hit, remember every time you read a gender swap story and wished so hard that it could be real, because you're "really curious what it would be like"
Yeah. You know what's really wonderful? When you can stop being jealous; because you're looking in a full length mirror, and your true, best, self is looking back at you.
And she is enough, and worthy of life - when before there was only long-abiding darkness and despair.
BOWSETTE DRESS CAME IN
I need to do some more work on getting it to fit better and like... Get a bra and stuff, but I am very happy with how it looks out of the bag
Many shitty pharmacists get too involved in your business.
Check if the meds have issues with each other, check if I have general contraindications, but don't go further than that.
+8
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.
Ok met with my official work mentor/evaluator/advocate (...it’s complicated but there’s a whole structure in place for these things and a lot of /processes/.) I like him a lot; talked for a couple hours over lunch, and during it I was alike OK ALSO let me explain to you I am currently transitioning so uh although I know I have a female voice and whatnot, I am changing that and use they or he pronouns.
‘ oh huh wait is your name actually spelled with an e at the end then? ‘
‘Nono, this is my preferred name, my legal name is in the system but only comes up for payroll stuff’
‘Ah ok. Are you going to be doing official stuff like changing it and the medical processes?’
‘Yeah I plan on changing my legal name some time soon, and i’ve actually already done there medical stuff, but you can’t really tell cause it’s only been a couple of months. I got slightly more buff though heh’
‘Well, I think you’ll find people here are definitely open/liberal/professional and it shouldn’t be a problem’
‘Cool yeah I figured as much, plus it skews young ((omitted: oh shit maybe I shouldn’t have said that cause new mentor is oldish))’
‘If there is a problem, let me know and i’ll see what I can do’
—and then a third person came to join us and my new mentor introduced me to her using male pronouns for me
excellent!
credeiki on
Steam, LoL: credeiki
+40
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.
Doctors prescribe things off-label all the time. In fact a large number of HRT drugs are strictly speaking off-label scrips.
Pharmacists who refuse to fill those scrips are simply put bad pharmacists, let alone one refusing to sell someone a non-scrip drug on doctors orders
Edit: a perfectly routine example: aspirin is so commonly ordered as a therapeutic heart medicine that almost every manufacturer of the stuff sells therapeutic doses. It’s still strictly speaking off-label though. Would that pharmacist refuse to sell a heart patient aspirin because they aren’t taking it to relieve pain?
Elldren on
fuck gendered marketing
+8
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tzeentchlingDoctor of RocksOaklandRegistered Userregular
Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.
Doctors prescribe things off-label all the time. In fact a large number of HRT drugs are strictly speaking off-label scrips.
Pharmacists who refuse to fill those scrips are simply put bad pharmacists, let alone one refusing to sell someone a non-scrip drug on doctors orders
Edit: a perfectly routine example: aspirin is so commonly ordered as a therapeutic heart medicine that almost every manufacturer of the stuff sells therapeutic doses. It’s still strictly speaking off-label though. Would that pharmacist refuse to sell a heart patient aspirin because they aren’t taking it to relieve pain?
Yeah, I actually take Finasteride because it's supposed to help with hair loss, instead of what it was originally designed for (enlarged prostate). Never had anyone not issue it to me.
I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.
Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.
What?
It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.
I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.
Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.
Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.
I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.
Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.
What?
Out of curiosity, as a man who is quickly looking more and more like his dad, without the bad 80s comb-over, how is the hair loss or lack thereof?
I haven't noticed significantly more growing back, but I don't think it's losing much more either. My hair is rather thin and balding on the top-back of my head, but it's still there at least.
I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.
Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.
What?
It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.
I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.
Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.
Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.
I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.
Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.
What?
It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.
I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.
Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.
Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.
Posts
Perhaps some day I shall have the same confidence!
I'm in a weird state where I think most people know, but not really but maybe but does it matter cause I'm still in a hetero marriage, etc etc.
I'm good with it and chalking it to to Facebook just hiding me from people. Or people hiding me.
Which is fine.
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I had a stray thought the other day, that part of bi erasure might be an unintended side-effect of how society doesn't just treat monogamy as the default, but more or less sells the lie that there's no way you can be in a committed relationship with more than one person at a time?
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
It's definitely wrapped up in toxic puritanical ideas of monogamous attraction. It's the lie that leads to relationships full of jealousy and resentment because people think if they're "doing it right" they'll be "enough" for their partner and they won't be attracted to other people. It's the lie that informs the idea that bi people are all amoral hedonists who could never settle down with a single person (because we wouldn't be fulfilling our desires, you see). And yes, it's the lie that leads people to say that most bi people are really either gay or straight and simply "waiting to make up their minds", because once you settle down with a person you waive all right to be attracted to anyone else.
Am trying very hard to build a morality from basically scratch and it's really hard, I should probably read more philosophy books. Being a good person is difficult!
But the bisexuality doesn't have much to do with that, it's just a sweet extra. I miss kissing boys, haven't seen any cute ones in months
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Because all I've ever been told by right-wing Christian fundies is that I'm going to hell for the orgy-fueled lifestyle that comes with being 100% homosexual.
I mean, I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship with one person for nearly a decade. And then we opened it up to include a third because we found someone who fits and who we love, and why limit love to just a singular person?
It's like that whole hypothetical of "If you've found your soulmate, and one dies before the other, should the surviving mate live forever as a widow, because they could never love again?"
Fuck no.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Eeeeeeee!
This is Ash, by the way.
You should listen to Rebecca Sugar's episode on the Queery podcast, if you haven't already.
They have a lot of thoughts on the bolded in particular.
I've explicitly told Amara that, if the worst should happen to me, I'd like her to try to find happiness with somebody else.
I hate the thought of her spending the rest of her life alone.
For some, it's unthinkable.. until you do.
https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/10/01/trump-administration-to-deny-visas-to-same-sex-partners-of-diplomats-un-officials-gay-lgbt/
Steam
Leave the country, that is.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
Whichever comes first.
Yesterday some people saw me as male and also I was like fuck it and used the men's room although there was a line; but then again today everyone seemed to see me as female (but when they used 'she', at a break in the conversation I was like 'oh hey actually I'm one of those people who uses they pronouns,' and the table I was sitting with was like 'oh aaaaa sorry I didn't mean to mis-pronoun you!!' --although then these other people I was talking to, same interaction, they're like 'oh so like the character from Billions who uses they pronouns? You look like her, sort of' and I'm just like '......'.) But I think it'll be fine, and, as a positive sign, there was someone's transition story on the company intranet showcasing little personal snippets from employees, so, all right.
My officewear is completely not up to snuff but that's a company culture thing and not a transition thing. Business 'casual' my ass; these people are so formal! I need more than one pair of nice slacks and definitely a better quality/more well-fitted set of shirts. Goodbye $$$$s...
I need to do some more work on getting it to fit better and like... Get a bra and stuff, but I am very happy with how it looks out of the bag
And got a spiro increase!
So, hi, hi, Paul, gay, queer (and feeling like I am sliding into some form of asexuality - still figuring that one out), fast approaching 50 and feeling every second of it, HIV+ for 18 years now, brain generally a hot mess and lots of things I hate, hate, hate about myself.
Going through a major lurk phase at the moment - not sure if its depression rearing its head or some other stuff - but finding it super hard to engage/stay engaged with stuff or interact (hence me pretty much disappearing from posting on here for the longest time).
Anyways, queer visibility all up ins, so hi o/
Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
Half alive in a whitecap foam
Half in love with a white half moon
It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.
I use those memories as anchor points when the self-doubt starts to creep in. No, this isn't just a fleeting fancy, remember how jealous you were of the girls in your class when puberty hit, remember every time you read a gender swap story and wished so hard that it could be real, because you're "really curious what it would be like"
Yeah. You know what's really wonderful? When you can stop being jealous; because you're looking in a full length mirror, and your true, best, self is looking back at you.
damn lady, you fine *snap snap snap*
pharmacist pulls me aside, very concerned
"these are for men only, is this right?"
"well I'm transgender"
"i havent seen anything like this before are you sure? should i check with my senior?"
"it's part of my treatment, i'm sure"
like i appreciate your concern but do i have to explain to you that i have a prostate?
put me in a good mood since i'm apparently passing (?!?)
Check if the meds have issues with each other, check if I have general contraindications, but don't go further than that.
‘ oh huh wait is your name actually spelled with an e at the end then? ‘
‘Nono, this is my preferred name, my legal name is in the system but only comes up for payroll stuff’
‘Ah ok. Are you going to be doing official stuff like changing it and the medical processes?’
‘Yeah I plan on changing my legal name some time soon, and i’ve actually already done there medical stuff, but you can’t really tell cause it’s only been a couple of months. I got slightly more buff though heh’
‘Well, I think you’ll find people here are definitely open/liberal/professional and it shouldn’t be a problem’
‘Cool yeah I figured as much, plus it skews young ((omitted: oh shit maybe I shouldn’t have said that cause new mentor is oldish))’
‘If there is a problem, let me know and i’ll see what I can do’
—and then a third person came to join us and my new mentor introduced me to her using male pronouns for me
excellent!
Doctors prescribe things off-label all the time. In fact a large number of HRT drugs are strictly speaking off-label scrips.
Pharmacists who refuse to fill those scrips are simply put bad pharmacists, let alone one refusing to sell someone a non-scrip drug on doctors orders
Edit: a perfectly routine example: aspirin is so commonly ordered as a therapeutic heart medicine that almost every manufacturer of the stuff sells therapeutic doses. It’s still strictly speaking off-label though. Would that pharmacist refuse to sell a heart patient aspirin because they aren’t taking it to relieve pain?
Yeah, I actually take Finasteride because it's supposed to help with hair loss, instead of what it was originally designed for (enlarged prostate). Never had anyone not issue it to me.
Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.
What?
Out of curiosity, as a man who is quickly looking more and more like his dad, without the bad 80s comb-over, how is the hair loss or lack thereof?
Steam: TheArcadeBear
I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.
Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.
Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
I haven't noticed significantly more growing back, but I don't think it's losing much more either. My hair is rather thin and balding on the top-back of my head, but it's still there at least.
Alpha-5 Reductase converts T into DHT.
Xeljanz, Butcher of souls
Crestor, Champion of Gruumsh
Paxil, Broker of false peace
(this is fun!)
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Ai-yi-yi!
Never played but it looks like fun!