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QUILTBAG: Hi gay, I’m Dad!

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Posts

  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    @lonelyahava I wasn’t aware that that was you coming out! I already knew from the previous thread so I assumed it wasn’t news, but yay and I wish I had commented, now.

    Perhaps some day I shall have the same confidence!

    sig.jpg
    Erin The Redlonelyahavamysticjuicer
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    No stress about it!

    I'm in a weird state where I think most people know, but not really but maybe but does it matter cause I'm still in a hetero marriage, etc etc.

    I'm good with it and chalking it to to Facebook just hiding me from people. Or people hiding me.

    Which is fine.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    I think it's really important for bi people in monogamous relationships to talk about being bi, if they're comfortable doing so.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    ShadowenCare Free BombRainfallnever dieApocalyptusvisiblehowlGoatmonElldrenAndy JoemysticjuicerLucedes
  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited October 2018
    I think it's really important for bi people in monogamous relationships to talk about being bi, if they're comfortable doing so.

    I had a stray thought the other day, that part of bi erasure might be an unintended side-effect of how society doesn't just treat monogamy as the default, but more or less sells the lie that there's no way you can be in a committed relationship with more than one person at a time?

    DarkPrimus on
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  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    DarkPrimus wrote: »
    I think it's really important for bi people in monogamous relationships to talk about being bi, if they're comfortable doing so.

    I had a stray thought the other day, that part of bi erasure might be an unintended side-effect of how society doesn't just treat monogamy as the default, but more or less sells the lie that there's no way you can be in a committed relationship with more than one person at a time?

    It's definitely wrapped up in toxic puritanical ideas of monogamous attraction. It's the lie that leads to relationships full of jealousy and resentment because people think if they're "doing it right" they'll be "enough" for their partner and they won't be attracted to other people. It's the lie that informs the idea that bi people are all amoral hedonists who could never settle down with a single person (because we wouldn't be fulfilling our desires, you see). And yes, it's the lie that leads people to say that most bi people are really either gay or straight and simply "waiting to make up their minds", because once you settle down with a person you waive all right to be attracted to anyone else.

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    replacewythyFencingsaxN1tSt4lker3clipseApocalyptusElldren
  • RainfallRainfall Registered User regular
    As a bisexual amoral hedonist I,

    Am trying very hard to build a morality from basically scratch and it's really hard, I should probably read more philosophy books. Being a good person is difficult!

    But the bisexuality doesn't have much to do with that, it's just a sweet extra. I miss kissing boys, haven't seen any cute ones in months

    BirdsZilla360Erin The RedGoatmonmysticjuicer
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Oh believe me I ain't knockin' hedonism, it's just we ain't all like that

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    lonelyahava3clipseElldrenGoatmon
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    good boys that I'm also attracted to are incredibly hard to find

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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  • El FantasticoEl Fantastico Toronto, ONRegistered User regular
    You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, I guess?

    Because all I've ever been told by right-wing Christian fundies is that I'm going to hell for the orgy-fueled lifestyle that comes with being 100% homosexual.

    I mean, I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship with one person for nearly a decade. And then we opened it up to include a third because we found someone who fits and who we love, and why limit love to just a singular person?

    It's like that whole hypothetical of "If you've found your soulmate, and one dies before the other, should the surviving mate live forever as a widow, because they could never love again?"

    Fuck no.

    akyxa17p3s5g.png
    PSN: TheArcadeBear
    Steam: TheArcadeBear

  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    edited October 2018
    Hey so, on the topic of Wandersong, that game I was mentioning earlier in the thread (because the game has surprisingly solid queer representation); I just realized earlier that a side-character who gets a big spotlight early on in the game, an accordionist named Ash who puts on a show with you, might be non-binary. I'd normally assume this isn't the case, because enbies get so little attention. Buuuuut this game is way above average in that regard, so I decided to ask the dev.





    Eeeeeeee! <3

    This is Ash, by the way.

    Goatmon on
    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


    21stCenturyGnizmoRainfallwanderingApocalyptuspimentonever dieInfamyDeferredDouglasDangerZilla360kimeErin The RedEinzelAnialosmysticjuicerLucedes
  • visiblehowlvisiblehowl He/Him Neutron Nerd Registered User regular
    No stress about it!

    I'm in a weird state where I think most people know, but not really but maybe but does it matter cause I'm still in a hetero marriage, etc etc.

    I'm good with it and chalking it to to Facebook just hiding me from people. Or people hiding me.

    Which is fine.

    You should listen to Rebecca Sugar's episode on the Queery podcast, if you haven't already.

    They have a lot of thoughts on the bolded in particular.

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    I die evry tiem in Sekiro on Twitch
    Goatmonwanderingmysticjuicer
  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    You're damned if you do, and damned if you don't, I guess?

    Because all I've ever been told by right-wing Christian fundies is that I'm going to hell for the orgy-fueled lifestyle that comes with being 100% homosexual.

    I mean, I was in a (mostly) monogamous relationship with one person for nearly a decade. And then we opened it up to include a third because we found someone who fits and who we love, and why limit love to just a singular person?

    It's like that whole hypothetical of "If you've found your soulmate, and one dies before the other, should the surviving mate live forever as a widow, because they could never love again?"

    Fuck no.

    I've explicitly told Amara that, if the worst should happen to me, I'd like her to try to find happiness with somebody else.

    I hate the thought of her spending the rest of her life alone. :(

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


    never die
  • pimentopimento they/pim Registered User regular
    Saw this on twitter, seems apropos



    For some, it's unthinkable.. until you do.

    never die
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    The Trump administration on Monday began denying visas to same-sex domestic partners of foreign diplomats and United Nations employees, and requiring those already in the United States to get married by the end of the year or leave the country.

    https://foreignpolicy.com/2018/10/01/trump-administration-to-deny-visas-to-same-sex-partners-of-diplomats-un-officials-gay-lgbt/

  • El FantasticoEl Fantastico Toronto, ONRegistered User regular
    Something I'm sure many of them would be all too happy to do, if they could.

    Leave the country, that is.

    akyxa17p3s5g.png
    PSN: TheArcadeBear
    Steam: TheArcadeBear

    Zilla360pimento
  • Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Surreal. Immersive. Earth.Registered User regular
    Leave and come back when Trump is either dead or out of office.

    Whichever comes first.

    Skidzilla360.jpg | NH844lc.png | GACSALB.jpg My Blog | Gravatar | PSN | 72INGtl.jpg | HkSlskT.png
    SCREECH OF THE FARG
  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    Hm today my work badge had the wrong name on it, but most of my other stuff has the correct name on it and the badge office was like 'argghhh omg sorry the company is super inconsistent about where it uses your preferred name vs legal name this happens all the fucking time sorry we'll fix that within the next few days' so *shrug*

    Yesterday some people saw me as male and also I was like fuck it and used the men's room although there was a line; but then again today everyone seemed to see me as female (but when they used 'she', at a break in the conversation I was like 'oh hey actually I'm one of those people who uses they pronouns,' and the table I was sitting with was like 'oh aaaaa sorry I didn't mean to mis-pronoun you!!' --although then these other people I was talking to, same interaction, they're like 'oh so like the character from Billions who uses they pronouns? You look like her, sort of' and I'm just like '......'.) But I think it'll be fine, and, as a positive sign, there was someone's transition story on the company intranet showcasing little personal snippets from employees, so, all right.

    My officewear is completely not up to snuff but that's a company culture thing and not a transition thing. Business 'casual' my ass; these people are so formal! I need more than one pair of nice slacks and definitely a better quality/more well-fitted set of shirts. Goodbye $$$$s...

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
    air-photos.tumblr.com
    wanderingtzeentchlingMsAnthropyInfamyDeferredZilla360never dielonelyahavamysticjuicer
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    BOWSETTE DRESS CAME IN
    I need to do some more work on getting it to fit better and like... Get a bra and stuff, but I am very happy with how it looks out of the bag

    Help a trans woman (me) afford GRS!
    Hi Santa/Satan!
    Video games -> PSN and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    ElldrenForceVoidMsAnthropyDouglasDangerThe Betgirl3clipseDarkPrimuswanderingtzeentchlingpimentoPlatyStericareplacewythyUsagiApocalyptusSporkAndrewEinzelSorceWyvernZilla360jaziekAnialosToxJansonnever dieH3KnucklesCurly_BraceThe Hanged ManCare Free BombmasterofmetroidGundiJaysonFourlonelyahavaVeldrinmysticjuicerGoatmon
  • InfamyDeferredInfamyDeferred Registered User regular
    Went to a local pride event - lost one of the first pair of earrings I ever bought. But I got a picture of me with Danica Roem! Worth it.

    PlatypimentoMsAnthropytzeentchlingErin The RedGrogForceVoidApocalyptusShadowenZilla360Elldrenmysticjuicer
  • StericaSterica Wow! That was shit.Registered User, Moderator mod
    Starting that good progesterone.

    And got a spiro increase!

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  • mori1972mori1972 FF14: Rhotfyr Thosinmharsyn (Y)UKRegistered User regular
    Oh hey, so its new thread time (wow I totally missed that!).

    So, hi, hi, Paul, gay, queer (and feeling like I am sliding into some form of asexuality - still figuring that one out), fast approaching 50 and feeling every second of it, HIV+ for 18 years now, brain generally a hot mess and lots of things I hate, hate, hate about myself.

    Going through a major lurk phase at the moment - not sure if its depression rearing its head or some other stuff - but finding it super hard to engage/stay engaged with stuff or interact (hence me pretty much disappearing from posting on here for the longest time).

    Anyways, queer visibility all up ins, so hi o/

    It's all saltwater these days:
    Ocean, tears and heartbreak soup
    Half alive in a whitecap foam
    Half in love with a white half moon
    Curly_BraceThe Hanged ManInfamyDeferredJansonErin The RedShadowenSorce3clipseZilla360JaysonFourtzeentchlingGoatmonlonelyahavaElldrennever diemysticjuicerLucedes
  • Curly_BraceCurly_Brace Robot Girl Mimiga VillageRegistered User regular
    Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.

    It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.

    Care Free BombcredeikiElldrenmysticjuicerErin The Red
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.

    It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.

    I use those memories as anchor points when the self-doubt starts to creep in. No, this isn't just a fleeting fancy, remember how jealous you were of the girls in your class when puberty hit, remember every time you read a gender swap story and wished so hard that it could be real, because you're "really curious what it would be like"

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
    replacewythyCurly_BraceStasisInfamyDeferredZilla360Care Free BombcredeikiElldrenErin The Red
  • Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Surreal. Immersive. Earth.Registered User regular
    Man this week has been a series of minor Trans Revelations(tm) about my youth. I didn't realize I was a trans lady until college buuuuut boy howdy there were some Feelings before then. Like in middle school I sure did want to dress up as some lady characters for Halloween, but kept those desires deeply hidden from others.

    It's weirdly nice to remember these moments and feelings now, especially since I have greater context for them now.

    I use those memories as anchor points when the self-doubt starts to creep in. No, this isn't just a fleeting fancy, remember how jealous you were of the girls in your class when puberty hit, remember every time you read a gender swap story and wished so hard that it could be real, because you're "really curious what it would be like"

    Yeah. You know what's really wonderful? When you can stop being jealous; because you're looking in a full length mirror, and your true, best, self is looking back at you.
    And she is enough, and worthy of life - when before there was only long-abiding darkness and despair.
    (And totally rocking that dress!)

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  • GundiGundi Serious Bismuth Registered User regular
    BOWSETTE DRESS CAME IN
    I need to do some more work on getting it to fit better and like... Get a bra and stuff, but I am very happy with how it looks out of the bag


    damn lady, you fine *snap snap snap*

    3clipseZilla360ForceVoidGoatmonSorcemysticjuicerErin The RedXehalus
  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    moved recently, go to pick up a repeat prescription for some finasteride (part of my trans meds) at the new pharmacy.

    pharmacist pulls me aside, very concerned

    "these are for men only, is this right?"

    "well I'm transgender"

    "i havent seen anything like this before are you sure? should i check with my senior?"

    "it's part of my treatment, i'm sure"

    like i appreciate your concern but do i have to explain to you that i have a prostate?

    put me in a good mood since i'm apparently passing (?!?)

    rm4k6cctdpin.png

    credeikiCurly_BraceElldrennever diePsykomaForceVoidDarkPrimus3clipseZilla360tynicSorceShadowenpimentoaStoryAboutYouApocalyptusKetarSporkAndrewmysticjuicerErin The RedJaysonFourBlameless Cleric
  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    Many shitty pharmacists get too involved in your business.

    Check if the meds have issues with each other, check if I have general contraindications, but don't go further than that.

    Brovid HasselsmofMsAnthropytzeentchlingElldrenH3KnucklesZilla360ApocalyptusPhoenix-D
  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    edited October 2018
    Ok met with my official work mentor/evaluator/advocate (...it’s complicated but there’s a whole structure in place for these things and a lot of /processes/.) I like him a lot; talked for a couple hours over lunch, and during it I was alike OK ALSO let me explain to you I am currently transitioning so uh although I know I have a female voice and whatnot, I am changing that and use they or he pronouns.

    ‘ oh huh wait is your name actually spelled with an e at the end then? ‘

    ‘Nono, this is my preferred name, my legal name is in the system but only comes up for payroll stuff’

    ‘Ah ok. Are you going to be doing official stuff like changing it and the medical processes?’

    ‘Yeah I plan on changing my legal name some time soon, and i’ve actually already done there medical stuff, but you can’t really tell cause it’s only been a couple of months. I got slightly more buff though heh’

    ‘Well, I think you’ll find people here are definitely open/liberal/professional and it shouldn’t be a problem’

    ‘Cool yeah I figured as much, plus it skews young ((omitted: oh shit maybe I shouldn’t have said that cause new mentor is oldish))’

    ‘If there is a problem, let me know and i’ll see what I can do’

    —and then a third person came to join us and my new mentor introduced me to her using male pronouns for me

    excellent!

    credeiki on
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  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit I'm a good person yes it's trueRegistered User regular
    edited October 2018
    Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.

    Doctors prescribe things off-label all the time. In fact a large number of HRT drugs are strictly speaking off-label scrips.

    Pharmacists who refuse to fill those scrips are simply put bad pharmacists, let alone one refusing to sell someone a non-scrip drug on doctors orders

    Edit: a perfectly routine example: aspirin is so commonly ordered as a therapeutic heart medicine that almost every manufacturer of the stuff sells therapeutic doses. It’s still strictly speaking off-label though. Would that pharmacist refuse to sell a heart patient aspirin because they aren’t taking it to relieve pain?

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
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  • tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks San DiegoRegistered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    Yeah I once had a pharmacist refuse to sell me a non-prescription item because I was going to use it for something different to what it said on the packet. After a doctor told me to buy it.

    Doctors prescribe things off-label all the time. In fact a large number of HRT drugs are strictly speaking off-label scrips.

    Pharmacists who refuse to fill those scrips are simply put bad pharmacists, let alone one refusing to sell someone a non-scrip drug on doctors orders

    Edit: a perfectly routine example: aspirin is so commonly ordered as a therapeutic heart medicine that almost every manufacturer of the stuff sells therapeutic doses. It’s still strictly speaking off-label though. Would that pharmacist refuse to sell a heart patient aspirin because they aren’t taking it to relieve pain?

    Yeah, I actually take Finasteride because it's supposed to help with hair loss, instead of what it was originally designed for (enlarged prostate). Never had anyone not issue it to me.

  • El FantasticoEl Fantastico Toronto, ONRegistered User regular
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?

    Out of curiosity, as a man who is quickly looking more and more like his dad, without the bad 80s comb-over, how is the hair loss or lack thereof?

    akyxa17p3s5g.png
    PSN: TheArcadeBear
    Steam: TheArcadeBear

  • Zilla360Zilla360 21st Century. |She/Her| Surreal. Immersive. Earth.Registered User regular
    edited October 2018
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?
    It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.

    I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.

    Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.

    Zilla360 on
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  • MsAnthropyMsAnthropy Our Lady of Perpetual Mazes The CageRegistered User regular
    edited October 2018
    Zilla360 wrote: »
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?
    It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.

    I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.

    Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.

    Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.

    MsAnthropy on
    "The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
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  • tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks San DiegoRegistered User regular
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?

    Out of curiosity, as a man who is quickly looking more and more like his dad, without the bad 80s comb-over, how is the hair loss or lack thereof?

    I haven't noticed significantly more growing back, but I don't think it's losing much more either. My hair is rather thin and balding on the top-back of my head, but it's still there at least.

  • InfamyDeferredInfamyDeferred Registered User regular
    MsAnthropy wrote: »
    Zilla360 wrote: »
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?
    It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.

    I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.

    Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.

    Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.

    Alpha-5 Reductase converts T into DHT.


    Xeljanz, Butcher of souls

    Crestor, Champion of Gruumsh

    Paxil, Broker of false peace

    (this is fun!)

    mysticjuicerMsAnthropyH3KnucklesErin The RedZilla360
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    well, time to make a pharmacist themed warlock for 5e

    Miss me? Find me on:

    Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
    Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
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  • ForceVoidForceVoid Registered User regular
    Also works for Pokemon naming

    AnzekayMsAnthropyKayne Red Robe
  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel Shell, Teeth, Eyes, Flame, Claws, Breath, Scales, FUN!Registered User regular
    MsAnthropy wrote: »
    Zilla360 wrote: »
    I love how the medicine has two totally different remedies to cover.

    Enlarged prostate. Hair loss.

    What?
    It's a result of the drug targeting the same metabolic/endocrinological process in the body.

    I forget exactly which metabolic chain/pathway (for DHT) but I had a long and fascinating conversation with an endocrinologist about this once.

    Fun fact! Finasteride is known as an 'Azasteroid*' in biochemistry. *It also sounds like the name of a heavy metal band.

    Most pharmaceuticals have names that sound like metal bands and / or D&D demon lords. Can’t tell me that Tagamet, Xyrtec, and Zoloft don’t rule any of the infinite levels of the Abyss.

    Alpha-5 Reductase converts T into DHT.

    Ai-yi-yi!

    9m1sgpgi7202.gif
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  • ForceVoidForceVoid Registered User regular
    So, I might have just emailed our local roller derby team just to see what's up :P
    Never played but it looks like fun!

    UnbreakableVownever dieInfamyDeferredpimentotzeentchlingMadpoetmysticjuicerH3KnucklesJaysonFourcredeikiZilla360
This discussion has been closed.