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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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Posts

  • Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    Well I have no idea I never saw the tweet either.

    Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    "What do you get a Libertarian for Christmas?"

    "A map of the age of consent in each state."

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    You gotta wonder if Michael Jackson's pronouns were he/him or he/hee.

    Me: Hey doctor, can I use the anesthesia on myself?
    Doctor: Sure, knock yourself out.

    I knew a flat-earther once. He decided to walk to the end of the earth once to prove himself right, but in the end he came around.

    The only thing flat-earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

    Vodka might not be the answer, but it's worth a shot.

    My girlfriend tried to convince me to have sex on her Honda Civic. If I'm going to do it on a car, it's going to be on my own Accord.

    The ultimate mashup: King Oedipus and King Midas. Pure motherfucking gold.

    And now, a holiday joke:

    Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is dead today. Witnesses saw him flying over Barcelona when he was struck by a flock of seagulls and a 747.

    Yes, the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    I just got texted this:
    Can you give me a call quick? Here:

    760-706-7425

    The number shows as Nakatomi Corporation, and the line answers to a Rickroll.

    Make whatever use of this you see fit

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    The ultimate mashup: King Oedipus and King Midas. Pure motherfucking gold.

    Holy shit.

  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    The ultimate mashup: King Oedipus and King Midas. Pure motherfucking gold.

    Holy shit.

    No, that would be Jesus and Mr Hankey

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    I went to an amazing vigil last night. It was candle-lit.

  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    My dad is cleaning some of his golf clubs and was scrubbing one of his old putters with some steel wool.

    I said, "Oh! You're scrubbing off the puttina!"

    He stared at me and said, "Yes. Yes, I am."

    He then continued scrubbing.


    Happy Holidays, everyone.

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    And then ChicoBlue was the dad.

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  • destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    And then ChicoBlue was the dad.

    I too am not a dad but make dad jokes.

    I'm a Faux-Pa.
    *This joke shamelessly stolen from the internet.

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  • tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    And then ChicoBlue was the dad.

    I too am not a dad but make dad jokes.

    I'm a Faux-Pa.
    *This joke shamelessly stolen from the internet.

    I have, unfortunately, found that this joke only really works when written down. Otherwise you just get confused looks.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    I too am a fox paw!

  • destroyah87destroyah87 They/Them Preferred: She/Her - Please UseRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    And then ChicoBlue was the dad.

    I too am not a dad but make dad jokes.

    I'm a Faux-Pa.
    *This joke shamelessly stolen from the internet.

    I have, unfortunately, found that this joke only really works when written down. Otherwise you just get confused looks.

    See, I live for the confused looks. So I love using these types of jokes.

    Confusion is second only to mild-annoyance in the emotions I take joy in inflicting upon people I like.

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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    idgi

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    idgi

    It’s a joke about the Conrgrstulaions! Bit at the end of Evangelion.

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
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  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    That's one of my dad's favorite jokes.

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    FUCK.

  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    That one was on Car Talk.

  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    pimento wrote: »
    That one was on Car Talk.

    I think that's where my dad got it!

  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    If you'd like more Car Talk staff, here is their extensive staff list.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
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  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    pimento wrote: »
    If you'd like more Car Talk staff, here is their extensive staff list.

    Motor Magazine used to joke around with the names of their contributors - one I can remember is a photograph of something wildly sideways at Winton with smoke pouring off the rear tyres was credited to "Onzee Lockshtops"

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited December 2018
    What country has the fastest growing capital city?
    Ireland, it's been Dublin for centuries

    see317 on
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Aeronautics is just plane fun.

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    To get to the idiot's house.

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    The chicken.

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

  • djmitchelladjmitchella Registered User regular


    SFW, but not necessarily SFyourimagination.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular


    SFW, but not necessarily SFyourimagination.

    Yeah, that sounds amusing, but it's actually really horrifying behavior from a "health care professional" (and I'm using the quotes because if they actually were one, they have just willfully violated HIPAA, and are currently fucked.)

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular


    SFW, but not necessarily SFyourimagination.

    Yeah, that sounds amusing, but it's actually really horrifying behavior from a "health care professional" (and I'm using the quotes because if they actually were one, they have just willfully violated HIPAA, and are currently fucked.)

    They start off by saying that they've received permission from the "patient," so ...

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Elvenshae wrote: »


    SFW, but not necessarily SFyourimagination.

    Yeah, that sounds amusing, but it's actually really horrifying behavior from a "health care professional" (and I'm using the quotes because if they actually were one, they have just willfully violated HIPAA, and are currently fucked.)

    They start off by saying that they've received permission from the "patient," so ...

    I'm not a HIPAA expert, but I don't think that matters. You don't share Protected Health Information, or anything that may lead to PHI, and it doesn't particularly matter if the patient says they don't care.

  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    If the patient gives written consent it's fine. We'd never see xrays of light bulbs up people's asses if that weren't A Thing.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    If the patient gives written consent it's fine. We'd never see xrays of light bulbs up people's asses if that weren't A Thing.

    But that's the thing - you need specific written consent. Not just "they said it was OK."

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    If the patient gives written consent it's fine. We'd never see xrays of light bulbs up people's asses if that weren't A Thing.

    But that's the thing - you need specific written consent. Not just "they said it was OK."

    I'm assuming that the "specific written consent" was in the original email.

  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Funny, I'm assuming this is not a per se medical establishment, that the person is a client and not a patient (despite being called that), and that HIPAA doesn't apply.

  • darunia106darunia106 J-bob in games Death MountainRegistered User regular
    Pinfeldorf wrote: »
    If the patient gives written consent it's fine. We'd never see xrays of light bulbs up people's asses if that weren't A Thing.

    But that's the thing - you need specific written consent. Not just "they said it was OK."

    I'm assuming that the "specific written consent" was in the original email.

    Nope. You need a legal form that explicitly states the patient is ok with this complete with the patient's signature.

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This discussion has been closed.