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We're all just doing our best for our [Kids]

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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    When did your kids start getting screentime?

    A significant amount of my life is digital, so I don't want ours to never know a screen. I want her to be familiar with computers and tech and such. But it can just be such a corrupting and tempting thing, so no idea when to start. (She's still at 0 screen time, and she can't complain or know what she's missing yet :P )

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  • JansonJanson Registered User regular
    With Anya, she didn’t have much screentime until around 18 months. Then it was mostly Daniel Tiger.

    Niko has had a lot more, and earlier, almost entirely due to being kid #2.

    The power outage Saturday ended up lasting 8 hours and the kids did very well; they played with their train set for a couple of hours, alone, after the massage/bath they gave me.

    I have never let my kids run around a restaurant, but I have definitely used coloring pencils/my phone to distract them. They wouldn’t sit still for an hour around adult conversation, but they regularly wait an hour + with distractions. The other week, for example, Niko sat and watched Anya’s gymnastics lesson.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Fantastic.

    It's honestly not news to me because it's been happening in southeastern PA for years, I would find people talking about "anti-vaxx friendly" pediatricians and how easy it was to get a medical/"religious" exemption and there would be nothing anyone could really say. None of these people were particularly religious and even if they were none of them were a religion that would preclude vaccination and it just made me so mad.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    My husband is a bit more anti-screen time than I am. Second child got it from almost the beginning.. tried to keep away from the first child for a good year. But once the eldest had it, it was hard to keep them separate to keep the youngest away.
    Nothing for most of the week. Right before bed, I usually play a show for the kid I'm putting to sleep (husband and I switch off putting to bed the 3 year old and 5 year old). Super Hero girls for the 5 year old (so, 3-4 minutes) or Puffin Rock for the 3 year old (a little more time for him to wind down). My husband reads to them more than I do, no shows.
    Otherwise, longer shows or movies are for the weekend. Usually an hour or two a day. More if it's a movie or t.v. show we want to watch, but not much more.
    Sometimes they get edutainment phone games on the subway or at restaurants if they are getting antsy.
    They're really good at keeping entertained otherwise.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Today, I chased my kids, both of whom were “attired” as Captain Underpants, complete with Grandma-sewn capes, repeatedly around the kitchen with my newly constructed Lego X-Wing, making laser noises as they laughed and fled.

    It was a pretty good evening.

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    That show has given me the ability to point at the sky and say "tra la la!" and my kids laugh every time and I can never thank the showrunners enough for making those stupid, great books into a stupid, great show.

  • FiggyFiggy Fighter of the night man Champion of the sunRegistered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Cog wrote: »
    ceres wrote: »
    Cog wrote: »
    Ranlin wrote: »
    That sounds entirely reasonable for a 4 year old who hasn't had any similar experience to that class setup.

    As for the restaurant booth...I'm not sure what else they would expect. If there's not something successfully engaging for them to do, and you're not involving them in conversation, they're going to explore for entertainment.

    Sprocket is 6 and you'd think 30-45 seconds of sitting still is inflicting an actual war crime upon her.

    It's probably at least partially our fault because of iPads and the like.

    Ours doesn't have anything like that but watches waaaaay too much tv.

    Sprocket watches YouTube. This was a huge mistake on our part.

    Like, it's YouTube Kids, but still. Those people understand that you don't keep kids' attention with calm, measured voices and slow, sedate content.

    Also, it feels like she acts like she's on YouTube sometimes. Like if she gets told off for something, she overreacts. Not like "flailing and crying" but like "startled, bug-eyed, spit-take" kind of overreacts. And when she plays minecraft, she prattles on to herself endlessly, like people are watching.

    Its partially cute, and partially concerning.

    Oh, and it's not always YouTube Kids, because they don't have a Roku App, because I dont know, what the fuck YouTube?? There's parental restrictions, but it's still a looser content filter than the Kids app.

    Ours was watching this toy opening show for a bit, and constantly asking for it, because it was geared towards dinosaurs and he loves dinosaurs. When he started saying "Put it in the comments" when playing with his toys we shut that down.
    ceres wrote: »
    Miles has sat very nicely (for the most part) at sit-down restaurants since he was about 3 1/2-4. I can tell you that kids are often running around and throwing food all over the place and making noise because many, many people have come to me and said that my kids are so well-behaved, their kids would have been running around and throwing food all over the place and making noise. They also don't see him at home, where he is doing all those things all the time. What I've always been told by his teachers is that unless he's actively destructive it's not at all a concern.

    There have been kids in his class over the past couple years who have been much more destructive, or who reacted to simple commands like "sit down on your carpet square because it's time to do this thing" with full-on tantrums, and they tend to be the kids who need help. All his teachers have told me that while it's good to make sure you're communicating with his teachers and his behaviors are manageable, it's probably okay.

    As a first-time parent I always told myself there was no way I would be that parent who worried about every little tantrum like there's something wrong because kids are kids and do crappy obnoxious things sometimes, and then I went on to be that parent who did those things. So I guess she should know that it's probably fine but also as normal to worry about your first kid as the behaviors are themselves.

    Yeah, see, it's never all that bad. He's fidgety and wants to be entertained. He would never throw anything, cause a scene, scream, etc. I'm starting to veer more heavily into "his teacher is nuts" camp.

    My wife is also a teacher (albeit high school) so I think she gives more credit to other teachers when perhaps it may not be due. This is Noah's teacher's first time teaching JK, where she normally teaches primary. Perhaps she hasn't adjusted her expectations enough.

    Figgy on
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  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    Lol if you haven't taught your kid to become a block of granite on command.

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    ITT planking finds real-world application

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • SolventSolvent Econ-artist กรุงเทพมหานครRegistered User regular
    I think my Tiny Human started watching some DVDs around about 18 months, probably a bit later. I'd be a bit stricter on it if I could, but I work during the day and do less of the parenting so I defer to DW. We mostly stick to Wiggles DVDs and a few YouTube videos we've downloaded. TH cannot web browse or play flash games but that's probably more due to our rubbish internet connection than parenting strength of will.

    @Peen
    I also desire TH to build skills on playing by herself. Whenever I've tried it seems to be a complete disaster. She's not yet 3 so I guess she's not 'ready' for it but it could well be I just need to fight through.

    I don't know where he got the scorpions, or how he got them into my mattress.

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  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    Cog wrote: »
    prattles on to herself endlessly, like people are watching

    Don't think this is anything to do with youtube, some children are just like this.

    And some adults for that matter.

  • MusicDragonMusicDragon Registered User regular
    Solvent wrote: »

    @Peen
    I also desire TH to build skills on playing by herself. Whenever I've tried it seems to be a complete disaster. She's not yet 3 so I guess she's not 'ready' for it but it could well be I just need to fight through.

    I think this also depends on the kid. Mini man decided really fast that he preferred playing on his own at home because it meant he got told no less often if mommy couldn’t see it.

  • EntriechEntriech ? ? ? ? ? Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    With our 4.5 year old we don't have strict screen time limits, nor have we since she was maybe 2. At this juncture, with her being in full-day JK, I think we let her watch about as much as my wife or I would have watched when we were young. Which is to say, maybe a 10-20 minute show in the morning before school, and maybe an hour block to wind down after school. We also ensure whatever she's watching has some value to it, be that explicitly educational (Team Umi Zoomi, Peg+Cat, Storybots, Floogals) or at least has good social/emotional themes (Sarah & Duck, Luna Petunia, Ollie & Moon).

    We also let her play video games, but that she does with us, so it's more active and interactive. She struggles with controls, but our recent big breakthrough was Donut County. I was surprised to see how quickly she grasped the light puzzles in the game. Our first time through, I had to help her anytime it didn't involve figuring out what thing to dump into the hole next. Now she can do the entire game by herself besides the final boss, including the time-constrained puzzles.

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    Solvent wrote: »
    I think my Tiny Human started watching some DVDs around about 18 months, probably a bit later. I'd be a bit stricter on it if I could, but I work during the day and do less of the parenting so I defer to DW. We mostly stick to Wiggles DVDs and a few YouTube videos we've downloaded. TH cannot web browse or play flash games but that's probably more due to our rubbish internet connection than parenting strength of will.

    I also desire TH to build skills on playing by herself. Whenever I've tried it seems to be a complete disaster. She's not yet 3 so I guess she's not 'ready' for it but it could well be I just need to fight through.

    Yeah not even 3 is a tough age for that, kids at that point still need a lot of attention. Our baby step into the whole issue was having our kids in the room with us while we were reading or doing something like folding laundry so that we could acknowledge them when they needed it but also make it clear that we were doing our own thing. That may or may not last for long but at least you've introduced the idea that you're doing a thing and that your kid needs to occupy themselves until you're finished with it. That definitely leads to some "you're always ____ when I want to play with you!" and then you feel like the lowest form of scum and play Candyland or whatever.

  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue The studying beaver That beaver sure loves studying!Registered User regular
    Our kids get like 30-60 minutes of tablet time - on silent - in the morning when Mom and Dad are in the process of trying to get a little more sleep. It's usually Youtube Kids, a movie on my Plex server, or Bubble Guppies. They also watch Bubble Guppies or a movie during lunch, and that's it. Outside of that, they're playing or we're out somewhere (or they're at daycare if it's a weekday).

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  • SelnerSelner Registered User regular
    Since this is the PA forums, I'll post the News Post that Gabe from PA wrote back in 2015:
    https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2015/04/08/i-spoke-at-our-pta-about-games

    Here's the bit about limiting screen time:
    Q: Do you limit game time and if so how do you decide how to do that?

    A: I’m not here to tell anyone how to parent their kids in their own home other than to suggest being more involved is better than being less involved. With that said I can tell you that games are a huge part of my life and so they are also a big part of my kid’s life. We play Mario Party and Mario Kart as a family. I play Disney Infinity and Skylanders with my kids. My wife and I have both spent time playing Minecraft. We do not limit “screen time” in our house. What’s more important to me is what is on the screen not just how long they have been looking at it. If Gabe is playing Project Spark on the weekend and building his own game then I have no problem with him doing that for hours. If my little one Noah wants to play ABC Mouse he can do that as long as he wants. Does Gabe just want to sit and play Clash of Clans by himself all afternoon? That I’m probably gonna stop after 30 minutes or so. Is he playing it with five of his friends though and they are all talking on Skype together and working on something as a team? I’m gonna let that go longer. Arbitrary limits on “screen time” do not take into account the value of the content the kid is experiencing. That’s something you need to do as a parent and for me it’s a case by case thing not a blanket rule.

  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    When did your kids start getting screentime?

    A significant amount of my life is digital, so I don't want ours to never know a screen. I want her to be familiar with computers and tech and such. But it can just be such a corrupting and tempting thing, so no idea when to start. (She's still at 0 screen time, and she can't complain or know what she's missing yet :P )

    I showed Siglet that cute monsters ABC game starting as a young baby, only for a few minutes at a time. I probably watched some tv sometimes while nursing her (it's a haze)

    On weekends sometimes her dad will turn on cartoons on Netflix for a little bit in the morning. she's not real great about watching stuff for more than a couple minutes. I show her the word game I play on my phone. When I sit down at my computer (currently in the same room as her playroom) she asks for fishies so we put on aquarium videos and she looks at those for a very short period before running off.

    Her nanny does not do any screen time with her during the day.

    Things I'm planning on in the future:

    - no "click through YouTube on your own" until she is like, in high school, yikes
    - avoid morning screentime except weekend cartoons in moderation
    - focus on showing her educational media and avoiding violence/guns/scary stuff
    - limit PM screentime, video game playing; limit in the sense that when you sit down to watch/play you don't just endlessly play, you stop or take a break after a set time
    - trying really hard not to associate screentime with bedtime, ending screentime at least forty five minutes before bedtime, no screentime while in bed (books ok tho)
    - adult supervision of all screentime until she's much older
    - she doesn't get her own phone until as late as we can hold out

    I definitely want to watch movies with her, play games with her, etc so I don't see us being super militant about screentime. We'll see how well we stick to the rules I just thought up :) they're aspirational.

  • CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    Sprocket started getting screen time around 3, it was generally Color Crew and the like. She started in on Minecraft about a year ago, and started watching some Minecraft YouTubers like Stampy. I'm pretty happy to let Minecraft go on for quite a while. She recreates stuff she sees some of the YouTubers make, and builds her own things, and incorporates their ideas and her own. Its playing with digital blocks, I'm fine with it.

    I need to start cracking down on some of the YouTube content though. Some of it is ok, borderline educational, or at least coherent. Some of it is just fucking garbage.

  • CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    Sprocket lost both her front teeth a couple days ago. She's home from school today due to snow. I'm working from home. She's playing Minecraft, and I swear I heard her say "No, no, no, shit, shit, shit!"

    I was was confused as hell for a second and then realized she was trying to get her Minecraft dog to sit, and she's dealing with her new gap-toothed speech impediment.

  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Siglet's pronunciation of "shirt" and "fox" are currently pretty funny to her parents

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    Girlfriend is 4 days past due date, and she is having rough time.

    She's trying everything on the list to help induce labor, but I'm thinking it's going to be a few days still. Right now I'm balancing between being their too much and not enough...it's a treacherous path.

    We did close on our house though and also sold my condo!

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Dixon wrote: »
    Girlfriend is 4 days past due date, and she is having rough time.

    She's trying everything on the list to help induce labor, but I'm thinking it's going to be a few days still. Right now I'm balancing between being their too much and not enough...it's a treacherous path.

    We did close on our house though and also sold my condo!

    Awesome on everything but the 4 days late. I was ten days late with my first and two weeks overdue with my second, and considering that I am thoroughly over being pregnant by about 28 weeks it was a bad time for everyone.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • SyphonBlueSyphonBlue The studying beaver That beaver sure loves studying!Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Siglet's pronunciation of "shirt" and "fox" are currently pretty funny to her parents

    haha that was Mallory with "fork"

    "Can I have a fuck please?"

    "nope, sorry, all out of those, eat your broccoli"

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  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2019
    I feel bad, but there isn't much to help with.

    Both 10 days and 2 week overdo must of been terrible. I'm fairly sure I would of been sacrificed to some birthing god at that point.

    I can tell she has started looking for things to grill me about :P

    I think Monica (Our unborn child) is already grounded for like a month

    Dixon on
  • CogCog What'd you expect? Registered User regular
    Dixon wrote: »
    I feel bad, but there isn't much to help with.

    Both 10 days and 2 week overdo must of been terrible. I'm fairly sure I would of been sacrificed to some birthing god at that point.

    I can tell she has started looking for things to grill me about :P

    I think Monica (Our unborn child) is already grounded for like a month

    Maybe this is the problem.

  • EntriechEntriech ? ? ? ? ? Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    Dixon wrote: »
    I feel bad, but there isn't much to help with.

    Both 10 days and 2 week overdo must of been terrible. I'm fairly sure I would of been sacrificed to some birthing god at that point.

    I can tell she has started looking for things to grill me about :P

    I think Monica (Our unborn child) is already grounded for like a month

    Obviously my wife is a sample-size of one, but late in her pregnancy she got wind of a study showing that eating dates increased a variety of things that were positive for labour. She did in fact deliver on time, and had fully dilated by the time we were at the hospital. I looked it up and found this summary page here: https://evidencebasedbirth.com/evidence-eating-dates-to-start-labor/
    It has links to the various studies that were done, if you want to review. Dunno if this late in the game it'll make a difference, but it's what jumped to mind.

  • PeenPeen Registered User regular
    My first daughter went through a pretty serious Sesame Street phase and could not pronounce the "o" in "count." A good time was had by all.

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie's current accent combination of kiwi and American means that her "can't" changes the vowel sound enough that it sounds like that word that Peen just alluded to

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    Yeah she has been eating dates in abundance, she normally has them as a snack anyway but read they help with dilation.

    She's also tried
    - Castor Oil
    - Spicy Food
    - Stretches/Yoga
    - Smushing
    - Raspberries
    - Raspberry leaf tea
    - the doctor has done the membrane swab 3 times i think as well

  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Dixon wrote: »
    Girlfriend is 4 days past due date, and she is having rough time.

    She's trying everything on the list to help induce labor, but I'm thinking it's going to be a few days still. Right now I'm balancing between being their too much and not enough...it's a treacherous path.

    We did close on our house though and also sold my condo!

    Is she dilated at all? I waked around for two weeks of "ANY TIME NOW!" cause I was dilating a bunch, ended up getting induced 1 week past due date anyway

  • So It GoesSo It Goes We keep moving...Registered User regular
    Long walks can help, I think. I mean it didn't make me go into labor.

    A friend also suggested ankle massage/acupuncture :P

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    She was dilated about 2cm, but it's been that way for about 3 days now.

    We've been doing a walk a day, usually 30-60 min.

    I didn't know ankle specific massages helped, that's interesting. I usually give her one at night on lower back, but I'll try that.

    Acupuncture is an interesting one, I'll check into where they do that nearby. Thanks!

  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I don't know how much anything actually works to get things moving along if they aren't inclined to go anyway, but I would have eaten a live scorpion if someone told me authoritatively enough that it would work.

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    The good news is they won't wait more than 41 weeks to induce since the chances of complications skyrocket after 41 weeks

  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie does not know the word "why".

    She does, however, say the phrase "what it do", which is her version of "why".

    "Ellie, we're going to have chicken for dinner"
    "What? Chicken? What it do?"

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Ellie does not know the word "why".

    She does, however, say the phrase "what it do", which is her version of "why".

    "Ellie, we're going to have chicken for dinner"
    "What? Chicken? What it do?"

    It was a very bad chicken, so now it's getting eaten as punishment.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

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  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Dixon wrote: »
    Yeah she has been eating dates in abundance, she normally has them as a snack anyway but read they help with dilation.

    She's also tried
    - Castor Oil
    - Spicy Food
    - Stretches/Yoga
    - Smushing
    - Raspberries
    - Raspberry leaf tea
    - the doctor has done the membrane swab 3 times i think as well

    ... there's one thing definitely missing from this list, and it's the thing that got you into this in the first place. :D (Unless that's what smushing means?)

  • DixonDixon Screwed...possibly doomed CanadaRegistered User regular
    hahaha that is what smushing means

  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited February 2019
    The 12 month sleep regression is hitting the Bean hard.

    A week ago he would get right into bed after a bottle, cuddle his blanket and sleep through the night with little more than an occasional whimper.

    Now he's refusing naps, screaming when we put him down, waking up every 45 minutes and crying out. Last night my poor wife sat up with him for 2 hours from 2 to 4am, he was so tired and would fall asleep in her arms, but as soon as she put him down he'd cry bloody murder.

    She just went back to full-time work and it's killing us

    #pipe on
  • ceresceres When the last moon is cast over the last star of morning And the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderator mod
    I was so dead-set against induction. Both times. She was just not gonna come out though. At the two week mark I hadn't even dilated and even my crunchy midwife was like "I'm with you every step of the way if you want to hold off on interventions except yeah it's time now." The next two days were a lot of her saying "I know you don't want any intervention and you don't want to hear this but...."

    And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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