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Dinos and Druids, A Tasty Romp through Table Top Games

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Posts

  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    I just heard of a thing that I think would be a good world-building detail or even a quest hook and wanted to share

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew?wprov=sfla1

    "You can only enter our secret orc camp... IF... YOU BROUGHT SOME STEW FIXINS."

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I just heard of a thing that I think would be a good world-building detail or even a quest hook and wanted to share

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew?wprov=sfla1

    "You can only enter our secret orc camp... IF... YOU BROUGHT SOME STEW FIXINS."

    All eyes in the party slowly turn to the halfling bard, more than one problem may find a solution here.

  • Duke 2.0Duke 2.0 Time Trash Cat Registered User regular
    Anything to make a setting more like Dungeon Meshi

    VRXwDW7.png
  • SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    unknown.png

    It's the final battle

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
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  • SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    our monk has started launching meteors into the dragon

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    yup, that sounds right

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  • initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Excuse me we could roleplay a jrpg and not just a wrpg this whole time?

    initiatefailure on
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    Oh yeah I'm surely there's like 30 different jrpg inspired books. My buddy Jeremy actually ran a final fantasy 11 based game that he ran on modified GURPS, but that's more of a homebrewed type thing of course.

    I think I even remember a Final Fantasy tabletop coming out but I don't remember hearing anything else about it other than it existed so.

  • SCREECH OF THE FARGSCREECH OF THE FARG #1 PARROTHEAD margaritavilleRegistered User regular
    Excuse me could roleplay a jrpg and not just a wrpg this whole time?

    oh yeah, just look at this killing blow

    unknown.png

    i realize there is no context for this but trust me this was extremely anime

    gcum67ktu9e4.pngimg
  • MatevMatev Cero Miedo Registered User regular
    There's Ryutama, Fellowship, at least a couple Playsets of Girl By Moonlight, and depending on your flavor of D&D.

    In my own corner of RPGs, super stoked for the Retroverse/Lasers and Liches Kickstarter spinning up tomorrow. Anything that lets you be a Power Ranger, Tron Fighter or Roller blading synthraver cleric while taking the fight to a Code Dragon is ok by me.

    "Go down, kick ass, and set yourselves up as gods, that's our Prime Directive!"
    Hail Hydra
  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Honestly D&D has basically just started looking pretty fuckin anime in my head. Can't really help it and the characters keep doing super anime stuff so it keeps working out.

    Sleep on
  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    @Endless_Serpents, I present your Mokdorans.
    2vsguj6.jpg

    Mokdorans
    Gargantuan monstrosity (titan), unaligned
    AC: 18 (natural armor); HP: 472 (27d20+189); Speed: swim 60 ft.; Saving Throws: Strength +19 & Constitution +16
    Str 30 (+10), Dex 8 (-1), Con 25 (+7), Int 2 (-5), Wis 18 (+4), Cha 2 (-5)
    Skills/Feats: --
    Proficiencies: --
    Condition Immunities: exhaustion, grappled, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned, prone, restrained, & unconscious
    Damage Immunities: fire, disease, poison, & bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks
    Damage Vulnerabilities: cold
    Senses: passive Perception 14, truesight 120 ft.;
    Languages: --
    Special Abilities
    - Amphibious. The Mokdoran can breathe air and water, as well as lava.
    - Freedom of Movement. The Mokdoran ignores difficult terrain, and magical effects can't reduce its speed or cause it to be restrained. It can spend 5 feet of movement to escape from nonmagical restraints or being grappled.
    - Siege Monster. The Mokdoran deals double damage to objects and structures.
    Actions
    - Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +19 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 22 (3d8+10) piercing damage. If the target is a Large or smaller creature grappled by the Mokdoran, that creature is swallowed, and the grapple ends. While swallowed, the creature is blinded and restrained, it has total cover against attacks and other effects outside the Mokdoran, and it takes 42 (12d6) acid damage at the start of each of the Mokdoran's turns. If the Mokdoran takes 50 damage or more on a single turn from a creature inside it, the Mokdoran must succeed on a DC 25 Constitution saving throw at the end of that turn or regurgitate all swallowed creatures, which fall prone in a space within 10 feet of the Mokdoran. If the Mokdoran dies, a swallowed creature is no longer restrained by it and can escape from the corpse using 15 feet of movement, exiting prone.

    Zonugal on
    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    I tried drafting out what a lava hydra would look like by mashing together the hydra and fire elemental and adding some bits, no idea what kind of CR it would have though and didn't draft anything for the loose head serpents. Probably something like a fire elemental in stats.
    Lava Hydra
    Huge elemental, unaligned
    Stats: as Hydra, except: swim 30 ft. replaced with swim (magma) 30 ft.; darkvision 60 ft. replaced with blindsight (magma) 30 ft.; vulnerable to cold damage; resistant to non-magical slashing, piercing and bludgeoning damage; immune to fire and poison damage; immune to petrified and poisoned conditions.

    Multiple Heads. The lava hydra has five heads. While it has more than one head, the lava hydra has advantage on saving throws against being blinded, charmed, deafened, frightened, stunned, and knocked unconscious.

    Whenever the lava hydra takes 25 or more damage in a single turn, one of its heads is severed. The lava hydra dies if all its heads are severed.

    Each time a head is severed it becomes a lava hydra spawn in the nearest open space adjacent to the lava hydra, unless the lava hydra took cold damage since its last turn, in which case the head turns to obsidian and crumbles.

    Reactive Heads. For each head the lava hydra has beyond one, it gets an extra reaction that can be used only for opportunity attacks.

    Wakeful. While the lava hydra sleeps, at least one of its heads is awake if it has more than one.

    Lava Body. The lava hydra's body is so hot that any creature without resistance to fire that is within 5 feet of it at the end of the lava hydra's turn bursts into flame, immediately taking 5 (1d10) fire damage. Until someone takes an action to douse the fire, the immolated creature takes 5 (1d10) fire damage at the start of each of its turns.

    Non-magical objects which aren't made of incredibly heat-resistant materials stuck inside the lava hydra's body are quickly incinerated or melted, as if submerged in natural lava.

    Non-magical flammable objects within 5 feet of the lava hydra that aren't being worn or carried also spontaneously burst into flame.

    Illumination. The lava hydra sheds bright light in a 30-foot radius and dim light in an additional 30 feet.

    Water Susceptibility. For every 5 feet the lava hydra moves in shallow water, or for every gallon of water splashed on it, it takes 1 cold damage.


    Actions


    Multiattack. The lava hydra makes as many bite and lava spit attacks as it has heads.

    Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 7 (1d8 + 3) piercing damage and 7 (1d8 + 3) fire damage.

    Lava Spit. Ranged Weapon Attack: +8 to hit, range 120 ft., one target. Hit:" 10 (2d10) fire damage.

    "The lava hydra is a huge mass of animated flowing molten rock, with many heads on long necks that look like huge serpents. Jagged shards of black obsidian resembling scales, spines and teeth have formed on the crusty surface of the extremities furthest from the intense heat of the brightly glowing core body. Though it has a form resembling that of a hydra, when its heads are severed they do not rapidly regenerate. Instead, the severed heads become independent lava hydra spawn, as the lava hydra reproduces by budding off mature heads.

    Though lava hydras are magma-amphibious and can leave their lava pool homes, they prefer to stay partially or completely submerged to bask in the extreme heat while one head keeps watch above the surface. The lava hydra suffers no ill effects from submersion in lava, can stay submerged indefinitely, and can swim through such substances unhindered. It will become sluggish and die after some time in any environment without extreme heat comparable to that found near lava, expiring more quickly the colder the environment is. Cold and water are anathema to them, sapping their heat and hardening their bodies into obsidian statues. It is as dense and heavy as stone and cannot swim in water."

    BahamutZERO on
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  • DrascinDrascin Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Drascin wrote: »
    MsAnthropy wrote: »
    Drascin wrote: »
    Solar wrote: »
    Eriador be fucked, yo

    It does present the issue of setting up adventures, though. Like the game suggests doing things like having the players go out to face things threatening villages, but there are no villages. There is mention of merchants but how in the balls can you have merchants in a place where there seems to be, far as I can tell, only one road that is actually still kind of a road and basically no centers of population with anything worth trading (because we know the Hobbits of the Shire don't trade for shit) between the Lhun and the Misty Mountains. There is, far as I can tell, nothing at all, to a point that it's honestly a bit disbelief-breaking that, like, Bree exists in its current form.

    My plan is to straight up start making up a lot of settlements. Humans have this annoying tendency to set up anywhere where there is space and tillable soil, and Arnor fell a thousand years ago. There has been time for people to start trying to move back in.

    Where is your game set? If you are using Rhovanion, then do you have the setting (Heart of the Wild, iirc) supplement?

    You are right that there aren’t, like, huge cities around, but there are plenty of opportunities to help merchants setup trade routes between the Dale / Erebor / Laketown triangle and places like the three ‘major’ Woodman settlements, the Iron Hills, and the Carrock. This especially works early in the timeline after the Battle of the Give Armies when the shadow retreats from Dol Guldur after being confronted by the White Council.

    Yeah, thing is, we're probably going to set this on the other side of the Misty Mountains. Hence my annoyance.

    And the "well there's orcs" thing doesn't really fly that much for any of us, because, well, there really aren't for a large chunk of the map. Cardolan and northwest Eregion are perfectly reasonable and pleasantly-weathered chunks of land with rivers and forests, where for some reason nobody has settled since Arnor fell a thousand years ago (the barrows with barrow wights are all the way next to the Shire, there's plenty of space to live without camping near those!). And the only road that still exists goes straight through troll country anyway, so clearly people are willing to brave orcs and trolls in any case.

    Tolkien knew his history. And middle earth is not based on the high middle ages but an earlier period. We are so used to the idea of population growth that we find it weird that land is fallow, settlements are shrinking etc... But in western europe from the mid 2nd century until the ~7th (date very uncertain) the population was in decline. Year over year, generation after generation there were fewer people around. Even after the population started increasing again it took centuries for it to become noticeable.

    Rome itself is the most extreme example of this (being more dependent on imports from Egypt and North Africa than most) but is by no means alone. All the great cities of western Europe underwent similar decline over this period. In 5 BCE the population of the city of Rome was 800,000-1,000,000. In the early 4th century, during the time of Constantine, the population was down to around 600,000. After the sack in 419 CE it was down to 300,000-500,000. By 590 CE, after the end of food imports from North Africa and the wars of Justinian, it was down to 150,000 at most. In 800 CE, on the Christmas day when Charlemagne was crowned Roman Emperor (and getting very close to the period that the material culture of LOTR is based on) the most optimistic estimate of the population of Rome would be 30,000 people.

    The tale of the 3rd age as presented in the appendix of Return of the King is strange and foreign to us but very understandable from the point of view of (roughly) 1000 CE.

    I mean, yes and no? Yeah, big cities dwindled into comparative nothingness, but again, at this point I'm not even looking for huge cities. Just enough small villages that the idea of "dude makes a living traveling between places selling things" seems even vaguely reasonable. And far as I can tell, in my country at least the decline of big cities after the Roman Empire fell, what you got were a lot more mostly self-sufficient tiny points of population with like 200-500 inhabitants. Which is what I'm going to go with. A network of small villages around Tharbad and Eregion and all the way to Cardolan, probably originally started by Dunlendings from the Misty Mountains who kinda figured that look, maybe staying in a bunch of sterile rocks filled with goblins while nursing grudges is a sucker's game and eventually other people kind of joined in.

    Drascin on
    Steam ID: Right here.
  • GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    Firecow.

    Don't stand behind them.

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    Every morning I wake up wanting to make a different pathfinder character.

    Level 13 is too many choices O.O

  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Grog wrote: »
    Firecow.

    Don't stand behind them.

    Tip them over while they're sleeping, and they'll cook themselves to a delightful medium in their panic.

  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    I don’t really know the rules of making monsters in 5e, however, ignorance has never stopped me before!

    Firecow
    Large elemental beast, unaligned
    Armor Class: 10 (natural armour)
    Hit Points: 22 (3d10 + 6)
    Speed: 35 ft.
    STR 16 (+3) DEX 8 (-1) CON 14 (+2) INT 2 (-4) WIS 10 (+0) CHA 6 (-2)

    Senses: Passive Perception 10
    Languages: —
    Challenge 1 (200 XP)

    Charge. If the firecow moves at least 20 feet straight toward a target and then hits it with a ram attack on the same turn, the target takes an extra 7 (2d6) damage. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 13 Strength saving throw or be knocked prone.

    ACTIONS
    Ram. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 6 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

    Trample. Melee Weapon Attack: +5 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 8 (2d4 + 3) bludgeoning damage.

    Flame Spray (Recharge 3). The firecow expells fire in a 15-foot cone from its behind. Each creature in that area must make a DC 11 Dexterity saving throw, taking 10 (3d6) fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

    Endless_Serpents on
  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited February 2019
    If you want to straight up gank a party of level 1 PCs it has a lot of potential.

    A duck! on
  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    A duck! wrote: »
    If you want to straight up gank a party of level 1 PCs it has a lot of potential.

    Especially as a gazebo taunt.

    Have a farmer give them on a small quest and tell them under no circumstances go near that cow.

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Sometimes I sell my stuff on Ebay
  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    I just heard of a thing that I think would be a good world-building detail or even a quest hook and wanted to share

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_stew?wprov=sfla1

    "You can only enter our secret orc camp... IF... YOU BROUGHT SOME STEW FIXINS."

    All eyes in the party slowly turn to the halfling bard, more than one problem may find a solution here.

    and that's how the rest of the adventuring party gets turned to stew

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  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Hey if we're talking about fire cows, we should probably talk about the Colchis Bulls (or the Khalkotauroi).

    The Khalkotauroi were gigantic fire breathing bulls that were given to King Aeetes by Hephaestus, with mouths and hooves of bronze. Aeetes told Jason (of Argonauts fame) that he would give him the fabled golden fleece if he could manage to yoke the bulls and plow a field with them (he then had to sow the field with dragon's teeth which turned into warriors he had to defeat and then also defeat the dragon that guarded the fleece itself). He manages to overcome them because Medea gives him a potion of fire resistance (she also solves the other two problems for him).

    Also Ares had some fire breathing horses, while we're talking about Greek mythology/fire/livestock, but I don't have as much information on them on hand (although it looks like I have the book they come from at home, so I can delve into it if anyone really wants to know).

  • ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Straightzi wrote: »
    The Khalkotauroi were gigantic fire breathing bulls that were given to King Aeetes by Hephaestus, with mouths and hooves of bronze. Aeetes told Jason (of Argonauts fame) that he would give him the fabled golden fleece if he could manage to yoke the bulls and plow a field with them (he then had to sow the field with dragon's teeth which turned into warriors he had to defeat and then also defeat the dragon that guarded the fleece itself). He manages to overcome them because Medea gives him a potion of fire resistance (she also solves the other two problems for him).

    By the way, this is how you become a deity on the "material plane" of my setting.

    You have to accomplish twenty insanely difficult tasks, each corresponding to one of the twenty unique planes, to be awarded a golden apple which gifts you godhood.

    And you have to do this at a max level of ten (as that is the level cap for all mortal beings in the setting).

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous Blame this on the misfortune of your birth. New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    related to the mandy morbid stuff earlier mike mearls, the guy with a rainbow D&D twitter avatar, finally put out a statement about the whole consultant thing and.

    well.

    fuck mike mearls.

    bitter fucking irony he vaguetweets about A CERTAIN PLAYTESTER while making a tootheless weasel statement naming him in an image where he can't namesearch his way into the convo.

    Der Waffle Mous on
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: DerWaffle#1682
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    edited February 2019
  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    *reads the comments* oh

  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous Blame this on the misfortune of your birth. New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Like I'm trying to remain calm about this because it is surprising my how much angrier I can get about this whole thing.

    But he knew.

    People told him.

    He said his investigation turned up nothing and gave their names to zak.





    this is a big part of why I utterly refused to touch 5e for a while.

    Der Waffle Mous on
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: DerWaffle#1682
  • A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA mod
    Wow what a piece of shit

  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Well that sucks

  • TubeTube Registered User admin
    Like I'm trying to remain calm about this because it is surprising my how much angrier I can get about this whole thing.

    But he knew.

    People told him.

    He said his investigation turned up nothing and gave their names to zak.

    Yeah that's fucked. Taken in isolation his comment seems on the nose.

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    D&D has spent a lot of time recently trying to portray the hobbie as being more inclusive and supportive of marginalized communities

    and this whole... thing is part of the foundation their current RPG system

    kinda makes all of that work feel tainted, to me

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  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous Blame this on the misfortune of your birth. New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    edited February 2019
    Its an industry-wide thing.

    You might remember this nice lady from when arenanet caved to an internet mob.



    also a reminder she (along with Robert Brooks) left paizo because they were covering for a totally different big-in-the-industry sex-pest who was assaulting people at their cons.


    anyway apologies if I'm needlessly dragging drama into the thread but this whole thing just enraged me.

    Der Waffle Mous on
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  • WACriminalWACriminal Dying Is Easy, Young Man Living Is HarderRegistered User regular
    Basically:

    em6tfflxchah.png

  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    I knew there were questionable folks credited in the first books that they then cut ties with, but I was unclear on the exact details there. That's some pretty garbage stuff right there.

  • SleepSleep Registered User regular
    Honestly given mike's ranks in the relevant skills im saying the dudes probably gonna need at least a 15 on the die to get anywhere here.

  • admanbadmanb unionize your workplace Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Sleep wrote: »
    I knew there were questionable folks credited in the first books that they then cut ties with, but I was unclear on the exact details there. That's some pretty garbage stuff right there.

    Also known alt-right nutjob RPGPundit.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    It's a fuck up and it's not excusable at all

    The awful behaviour of the known abuser in this case has been known about in the community for years and years. It caused an outcry at the time, when 5e credited him. And WW worked with him too.

    Rotten. Absolutely rotten.

  • GrobianGrobian What's on sale? Pliers!Registered User regular
    So I DMed my first session last night (not counting session 0, where we did a short practice fight).

    Funniest thing for me was when the players never bothered to find out anything about the chest they were supposed to deliver or the location and proceeded to ask a guard at the town gate where the tavern was. The tavern being known as a smuggler's den. They didn't want to pay a bribe, so they left and trekked around the city walls to the next gate. 2 of the party are Tabaxi, another can friggen teleport and they probably would have found a way to hoist the last one over even if he wouldn't just use one of the many holes in the dilapidated city wall. But no, it had to be a gate.


    Funniest for my players was the bar fight against some Tavern Brawler dwarves. They automatically grapple on a successful attack and I could describe some cool wrestling moves. Best part was when a random patron got annoyed at some acrobatic maneuver the monk did over his table and wanted to join in, only to be instantly knocked down by the last hit of flurry of blows.

  • milskimilski Poyo! Registered User regular
    I have decided that my new character will be a supernaturally fun obsessed Clown Warlock.

    I ate an engineer
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