"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
That’s cool, I’m just pointing out that flowers are some of the most baggage-laden symbols in human history.
I personally prefer living plants too, but am horseshit at remembering to care for them.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
I dunno, man, especially if I’m giving a personal gift to a special lady (your mileage may vary) I’m making the gift in some way representative of myself. Especially where a romantic partner is concerned, I really feel like hitting the balance of “thing you want that could only possibly be from me” is the ideal.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
I dunno, man, especially if I’m giving a personal gift to a special lady (your mileage may vary) I’m making the gift in some way representative of myself. Especially where a romantic partner is concerned, I really feel like hitting the balance of “thing you want that could only possibly be from me” is the ideal.
I mean sure, I don't think anyone's going to disagree with that. But the point I was going for was more, I wouldn't base my decision to give something to someone else too much on whether or not I personally like that thing.
I think Hello Kitty is dumb, but if I was dating someone who really liked Hello Kitty, I wouldn't think twice about getting that as a gift (and would even try and find a way to do it in a way that makes it representative of myself!)
In fact I think there's a lot of value in showing your partner "hey this thing isn't really for me, but if you like it then I'm happy to do that for you". (This is kind of far afield from what Bowen described, but just saying in general.)
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
I dunno, man, especially if I’m giving a personal gift to a special lady (your mileage may vary) I’m making the gift in some way representative of myself. Especially where a romantic partner is concerned, I really feel like hitting the balance of “thing you want that could only possibly be from me” is the ideal.
I mean sure, I don't think anyone's going to disagree with that. But the point I was going for was more, I wouldn't base my decision to give something to someone else too much on whether or not I personally like that thing.
I think Hello Kitty is dumb, but if I was dating someone who really liked Hello Kitty, I wouldn't think twice about getting that as a gift (and would even try and find a way to do it in a way that makes it representative of myself!)
In fact I think there's a lot of value in showing your partner "hey this thing isn't really for me, but if you like it then I'm happy to do that for you". (This is kind of far afield from what Bowen described, but just saying in general.)
Also, the talk about dogs in this thread has me thinking that next year I should secretly arrange to pick up the second greyhound we keep talking about on Valentine's Day and name it Rose.
Switch Friend Code: SW-3944-9431-0318
PSN / Xbox / NNID: Fodder185
The short life span of flowers has never been something I considered a negative but part of the symbolism of giving flowers. They're not supposed to last because they are about the moment and you appreciate them for the short time they are there and that's why flowers are special because they are fleeting so when they are in bloom they are beautiful. And you can always press a few as mentioned as a keepsake of that sweet memory.
Also from a practical point of view while a plant is a lovely gift I know if someone gave me a plant I'd think "this is lovely but now I have the responsibility of caring for this thing for the rest of it's life and if I kill it/don't have permanent space for it that's not going to go down well".
I'm probably on my own on that though
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Lost Salientblink twiceif you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered Userregular
No, I kinda feel that way! I mean I also own potted plants but flowers are a beautiful and momentary different gift that I also love to receive.
Not that I haven't in a million years.
Because I've just stopped dating except for that disastrous foray into wtfery back in September.
I should... I dunno. Fix that part of my life somehow I guess.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
I got a bonsai once as a gift {not a valentines but more of a welcome back one}
확인 나는 여전히 날 귀찮게로이 필요를 느낀다. 나는 나의 어머니와 함께 나무를 떠난 하지만 내 다른 동생 정말 그것에 앉아 장식 바위를 원했다. 2 년 후에 다시 방문 하 러 왔을 때 그는 나무를 비누 접시로 사용 했기 때문에 나무가 있던 곳의 멍 청 한 연주를 했습니다.
I only wrote it in hangul because I am still very mad/upset by it
I got a match on Bumble for the first time ever yesterday. I mean, they didn't message me or anything (which definitely plays into my brain-spidery belief that her finger probably just slipped or something), but hey, it's a start.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Flowers have been symbolic rather than practical for good Goddamned long time, and that’s not likely to change any time soon. The impermanence of the thing is indeed central in many respects to its beauty, depending on which school of aesthetics you’re approaching it from.
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
I dunno, man, especially if I’m giving a personal gift to a special lady (your mileage may vary) I’m making the gift in some way representative of myself. Especially where a romantic partner is concerned, I really feel like hitting the balance of “thing you want that could only possibly be from me” is the ideal.
I mean sure, I don't think anyone's going to disagree with that. But the point I was going for was more, I wouldn't base my decision to give something to someone else too much on whether or not I personally like that thing.
I think Hello Kitty is dumb, but if I was dating someone who really liked Hello Kitty, I wouldn't think twice about getting that as a gift (and would even try and find a way to do it in a way that makes it representative of myself!)
In fact I think there's a lot of value in showing your partner "hey this thing isn't really for me, but if you like it then I'm happy to do that for you". (This is kind of far afield from what Bowen described, but just saying in general.)
I see your angle, and I agree, I think showing not only that you’re paying attention but also that you’re willing to make space for your SO’s interests and hobbies is pretty important!
Although you kind of run the risk of getting “the wrong thing” if you don’t then delve into that world a bit yourself. A little research when gift giving never hurt nobody.
Edit: Also Hello Kitty is rad, you monster, I’ll fight you right now.
Also flowers do have the advantage of being a gift you can give someone and there is a degree of social meaning to that, like getting someone flowers says they are important to you I think, there's a shared cultural language there.
My wife has only gotten flowers once because she's not a big fan.
She was really really moved the one time she did get flowers though - my workplace got them for her as a thank you for sending in so many delicious baked goods
I figured out what's up with the likes on OkCupid, the mobile version only shows you a picture, you don't actually see the profile unless you click on the photo.
I was free this afternoon so I offered to go pick her up at her office and take her out to dinner. We had pizza that was super delicious and ended up splitting the bill.
Then we went to a nice park and like suuuuuuper mega made out for like two hours and talked and stuff.
It was a lovely evening and I think it is fair to say, to quote the vernacular, “we have got the hots” for each other.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Yeah, that was the wrong answer because instead of considering what SHE might like, you chose to do what YOU thought was good. The reason flowers are a good gift for people who like flowers is because they're pretty, they can be a way to show how much you think of the person (esp. if they have aesthetic preferences that you are matching), and they're something physical that you can keep somewhere as a visible reminder of the gift-giver and their regard for you. They're decorative, but by their nature don't stick around long enough that they just become part of the background of your life. But instead of considering any of that, you've just decided they're a bad gift. Gifts aren't about what you like they're about what the person you care about likes. They're a way to show empathy and understanding of another person.
OmnipotentBagel on
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Yeah, that was the wrong answer because instead of considering what SHE might like, you chose to do what YOU thought was good. The reason flowers are a good gift for people who like flowers is because they're pretty, they can be a way to show how much you think of the person (esp. if they have aesthetic preferences that you are matching), and they're something physical that you can keep somewhere as a visible reminder of the gift-giver and their regard for you. They're decorative, but by their nature don't stick around long enough that they just become part of the background of your life. But instead of considering any of that, you've just decided they're a bad gift. Gifts aren't about what you like they're about what the person you care about likes. They're a way to show empathy and understanding of another person.
Yo I don't really see how bowen refused to give that ex something he knew she liked. I think you're reading too much into that anecdote.
Long story short, while it's fine to put something of yourself into a gift, a true gift is not about you. The part that's about you is the gesture itself, if the content of the gift is what you think is a good gift rather than something they want, the message they're getting is that you don't really care about them.
"here's something you're going to water for a day, get annoyed at watering, and will die in about 4 days anyways, this represents how I feel about you!"
One time I took an ex out to a nice hibachi steakhouse place on a tuesday as an alternative and she was like "why are we going out to eat in the middle of the week"
"I just felt like doing something nice for you but didn't want it to be flowers"
and I guess that wasn't the right answer because we got in a fight about that and then I stopped doing random nice things
...that kind of went a little dour there didn't it
Yeah, that was the wrong answer because instead of considering what SHE might like, you chose to do what YOU thought was good. The reason flowers are a good gift for people who like flowers is because they're pretty, they can be a way to show how much you think of the person (esp. if they have aesthetic preferences that you are matching), and they're something physical that you can keep somewhere as a visible reminder of the gift-giver and their regard for you. They're decorative, but by their nature don't stick around long enough that they just become part of the background of your life. But instead of considering any of that, you've just decided they're a bad gift. Gifts aren't about what you like they're about what the person you care about likes. They're a way to show empathy and understanding of another person.
Yo I don't really see how bowen refused to give that ex something he knew she liked. I think you're reading too much into that anecdote.
You're right, ND.
I've given flowers to the same ex, just this one specific time and example I didn't and wanted to treat her to dinner instead of flowers. This one specific time mentioning that caused a fight I wasn't anticipating. Though for that one relationship I'd have to say that was probably where it ended, since that reaction to me treating her to dinner was kind of garbo even though I guess I could've gotten her flowers.
My "I dislike flowers" was a general commentary on my dating life and that I just dislike them, not that I refuse to give them. I know ladies like flowers and occasionally I need to put my own feelings aside to accomplish that task.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I'm watching a Netflix doc about dogs and before the title credits even played I got dust in my eye. I think 50 minutes of it might kill me.
probiotics? I guess? It had a picture of a dumbell and some kind of bacteria on the side! Strength! Germs for your gut!
what could be better?!
your reasoning was sound (if you've been sick you probably do need to build up your gastro-intestinal biome) but you may have been a bit too hasty in your application
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Posts
I've been having a rough time with ~romance~ stuff lately, so my boyfriend's wife baked me Valentine's Day cookies and oh my heart
I mean yeah but something like a succulent or bonsai feels better to me, I guess they're not for me though... I just hate them and would rather give something else
That’s cool, I’m just pointing out that flowers are some of the most baggage-laden symbols in human history.
I personally prefer living plants too, but am horseshit at remembering to care for them.
I get what you mean, but I would think that when you're giving something to someone, your main concern would be with what they like.
I dunno, man, especially if I’m giving a personal gift to a special lady (your mileage may vary) I’m making the gift in some way representative of myself. Especially where a romantic partner is concerned, I really feel like hitting the balance of “thing you want that could only possibly be from me” is the ideal.
I mean sure, I don't think anyone's going to disagree with that. But the point I was going for was more, I wouldn't base my decision to give something to someone else too much on whether or not I personally like that thing.
I think Hello Kitty is dumb, but if I was dating someone who really liked Hello Kitty, I wouldn't think twice about getting that as a gift (and would even try and find a way to do it in a way that makes it representative of myself!)
In fact I think there's a lot of value in showing your partner "hey this thing isn't really for me, but if you like it then I'm happy to do that for you". (This is kind of far afield from what Bowen described, but just saying in general.)
Also, the talk about dogs in this thread has me thinking that next year I should secretly arrange to pick up the second greyhound we keep talking about on Valentine's Day and name it Rose.
PSN / Xbox / NNID: Fodder185
Also from a practical point of view while a plant is a lovely gift I know if someone gave me a plant I'd think "this is lovely but now I have the responsibility of caring for this thing for the rest of it's life and if I kill it/don't have permanent space for it that's not going to go down well".
I'm probably on my own on that though
Not that I haven't in a million years.
Because I've just stopped dating except for that disastrous foray into wtfery back in September.
I should... I dunno. Fix that part of my life somehow I guess.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
and then had to insist on making the first pot myself because i'm extremely obsessive about how tea is made. sorry gf
we're going to a nice restaurant later i think? it's not valentines yet but i won't be able to see her tomorrow so we're doing it today
확인 나는 여전히 날 귀찮게로이 필요를 느낀다. 나는 나의 어머니와 함께 나무를 떠난 하지만 내 다른 동생 정말 그것에 앉아 장식 바위를 원했다. 2 년 후에 다시 방문 하 러 왔을 때 그는 나무를 비누 접시로 사용 했기 때문에 나무가 있던 곳의 멍 청 한 연주를 했습니다.
I only wrote it in hangul because I am still very mad/upset by it
I see your angle, and I agree, I think showing not only that you’re paying attention but also that you’re willing to make space for your SO’s interests and hobbies is pretty important!
Although you kind of run the risk of getting “the wrong thing” if you don’t then delve into that world a bit yourself. A little research when gift giving never hurt nobody.
Edit: Also Hello Kitty is rad, you monster, I’ll fight you right now.
And I was like why, what do I even do with these, I’m traveling I’ll barely see them and they’ll die
And she was like it’s just supposed to be the thought, don’t worry about them, look at them for a bit and know ppl care about you
And I was like huh cool and it wasn’t bad
And then they died after I came back and I threw them away
But I see the sentiment value
It’s not about practicality
My many regrets at being such a late bloomer thus my odds of success being lower due to amount of time and increased opportunities of youth I dunno
(Gonna buy more clothes to fill the void lmao)
She was really really moved the one time she did get flowers though - my workplace got them for her as a thank you for sending in so many delicious baked goods
Then we went to a nice park and like suuuuuuper mega made out for like two hours and talked and stuff.
It was a lovely evening and I think it is fair to say, to quote the vernacular, “we have got the hots” for each other.
Yaaaaaay!
Yeah, that was the wrong answer because instead of considering what SHE might like, you chose to do what YOU thought was good. The reason flowers are a good gift for people who like flowers is because they're pretty, they can be a way to show how much you think of the person (esp. if they have aesthetic preferences that you are matching), and they're something physical that you can keep somewhere as a visible reminder of the gift-giver and their regard for you. They're decorative, but by their nature don't stick around long enough that they just become part of the background of your life. But instead of considering any of that, you've just decided they're a bad gift. Gifts aren't about what you like they're about what the person you care about likes. They're a way to show empathy and understanding of another person.
Satans..... hints.....
This is not particularly hard I feel
Yo I don't really see how bowen refused to give that ex something he knew she liked. I think you're reading too much into that anecdote.
You're right, ND.
I've given flowers to the same ex, just this one specific time and example I didn't and wanted to treat her to dinner instead of flowers. This one specific time mentioning that caused a fight I wasn't anticipating. Though for that one relationship I'd have to say that was probably where it ended, since that reaction to me treating her to dinner was kind of garbo even though I guess I could've gotten her flowers.
My "I dislike flowers" was a general commentary on my dating life and that I just dislike them, not that I refuse to give them. I know ladies like flowers and occasionally I need to put my own feelings aside to accomplish that task.
Now knowing this, I have constructed a Hello Kitty themed boxing ring for us to fight in, as my gift to you.
Prepare to be pummeled by my extremely considerate fury.
update:
The chips were good (small bag)
The apple was good
The yogurt .... was a mistake =/
probiotics? I guess? It had a picture of a dumbell and some kind of bacteria on the side! Strength! Germs for your gut!
what could be better?!
Flowers, is what the thread has taught me. Eat flowers next time.
your reasoning was sound (if you've been sick you probably do need to build up your gastro-intestinal biome) but you may have been a bit too hasty in your application
a lot of flowers are edible
dandelions, for instance, used to be part of salads back in the day
that's an old medical secret I learned from my dog. Eat flowers, throw up, you'll feel better
I've never had this but I love rose and want one now, how do I make this?