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follow these directions. If you don't, he'll break your legs! Hahaha! Seriously though.
QUILTBAG: Hi gay, I’m Dad!
Posts
there's a blatant amount of sexism in the tech industry, which is where I hear most of these stories from
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
Sexisim gives.
I'm sure HR will eventually do something. They just have no urgency at all and from their point of view they do not have to.
Maybe I should have gone with a more serious name or something. No idea.
I'm a subject matter expert in Linux and knowledgeable in DevOps methodologies. This shouldn't be hard.
But then the Linux community is also the community that freaked out when the kernel maintainers implemented a code of conduct to treat people better so. . .
Eh, it'll all work out eventually.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
This sucks but isn’t surprising sadly. You shouldn’t feel bad about your name at all either, this is everyone else’s problem that propagates sexism, not you. Wish I could help but the best I can offer right now is a high-five from one Linux SME to another. I could also reach out to some of my contacts in the industry if you like for opportunities but I don’t want to overstep or anything.
Tweet link under if you want to read what she has to say, spoilered for how much it sucks. It's a whole thread, you can click through if ya wanna.
Next job is my extended family. Still not sure how to broach things with my grandparents.
Also booked myself in for a tattoo appointment next week. Seemed like an appropriate time to get another one.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
She tried to defend all the gatekeeping by pointing out that the shift from conversion therapy only happened relatively recently and hormones used to be a last resort when the "problem" couldn't be addressed in any other way.
Super-disappointed.
good lord that's all bullshit but "might be denied hormones as long as I suffer from depression".
"I'm sorry but as long as you're bleeding we can't do anything to stop the bleeding. You'll have to stop bleeding before we can give you stitches." FUCK OFF
Also I often wish I would've started when I was younger, but if this lady is right, they would've just told me to masturbate to whatever.
Crying now.
This lady was very happy with me and felt talking to me was a success for her because apparently everyone else seems to flip out at her?
My childhood autism diagnosis was also a big thing again despite her professing her lack of knowledge on the subject (like my first therapist).
That you can be trans and have autism hasn’t occurred to these people is obvious but facts have never mattered to bigots.
A lot of us here only started transitioning in our thirties or forties: you're in good company! I very much understand the feeling.
Also, I am really sorry that you are stuck in a location where your health system is denying you basic health care. I think you are aware of this, but none of this is your fault or reflects poorly on you in any way, and you are being extremely bold and resilient in pushing to try to get what you want.
air-photos.tumblr.com
that feeling of arrested development sucks so goddamn much
I am intimately familiar with it and
I'm not trans so I never had to deal with all the crap you're dealing with here, but even so, my twenties were kind of miserable and I didn't meet my first real boyfriend until I was 30. He's my fiancee now, 10 years later. So it can get better. I hope it does for you soon.
I am in the same place, without the romance. I am also not trans, but I know how it feels to look back at the last decade and feel unfulfilled. You are a beautiful person regardless, and you live on no one's schedule but your own.
That was not a good feel.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Yeah. I turned forty slightly over a year ago, and I didn’t begin any physical aspects of transition until June. I totally get how it feels.
As far as hair goes... I had pretty significant hair loss, and generally kept my hair shaved when in dude mode. Between Spiro completely suppressing testosterone and minoxidil, I’ve grown a ton back. Enough so that I may not need hair transplants nearly as badly as I thought I might a year ago. Everyone’s mileage will vary, but getting on finasteride and minoxidil should help you there, Platly.
You're right though that it is very telling and shitty how many people treat individual trans/gender diverse autistics, as well as interpret the fact that that autistic people tend to come out as gender diverse or gender nonconforming at greater rates than neurotypical people.
It couldn't possibly be that autistic people tend to be less likely to internalise arbitrary social conditioning including gender roles and assigned sex!
but I'm not exactly caught up on the discourse
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
That's incredibly creepy and rude of him!
Stay safe, okay?
this is true in my personal experience.
edit: this is my personal experience.
Yooooooo what the fuck. Creepy stares blow. I'm sorry you had to deal with some leering so and so.
Hugs
*talking about boardgames*
Manager: “ I have a friend who does a board game night, but it’s y’know, strategy games that you have to really concentrate on and everyone’s very serious about it.”
Me: “yeah, I like that sort of game too”
Manager: “and anyway this friend is *slight pause* a homosexual so he calls it gayme night, like with a y. Isn’t that clever?”
Me (somewhat thrown off by ‘is a homosexual’, because hm. That feels odd in 2019): “um yes that’s pretty common in the community to call yourselves gaymers with a y...”
The phrasing throws me off so much. It’s not like derogatory or anything but it feels weird, as does the slight pause before saying it. Maybe he just wanted to set up the gay-mers pun without saying the word gay first? But I somehow don’t think so.
Alsoooo he kicked me off the contract without being able to point at a single performance problem on my part and in fact while calling out my technical excellence and if you tell me that our apparently irreconcilable personality conflict (which he is of course lying about and saying isn’t personal, while being unable to point at performance issues) is 0% related to my demographics...yeah, I don’t think so.
(The way our company works, I now have to poke around and look for another contract to take me. Should not be too hard tbh, and they do pay you in full while you are on the bench, but it is effortful and annoying and a bit stressful (and bench time hurts your ‘utilization’ metric which is a factor that determines the size of your bonus))
air-photos.tumblr.com
It sounds off because it is, I think? It's really weirdly phrased
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
She asked me if I knew any, but to be honest my transition plan was very deeply integrated with quebec medicare policies, and I don't really know what could help this person in the USA.
Do any american trans people here have resources I could send on to my friend to give to this person?
The only direct knowledge I have of Trans resources in the USA is knowing through a friend that if you get a job for Apple their medical will fully cover your costs, including time off for recovery. Like even at one of the stores.
I will ping my friend though and see if they can point me at something more informative.
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center?location=NJ&limit=50
National Center for Transgender Equality is also a decent resource for legal stuff: https://transequality.org/