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Revenge of the Strange & Embarrassing Moments

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Posts

  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    So my boyfriend and I decide to spend our first weekend of the winter break armed with a dime of weed, a bottle of terrible vodka, greasy pub food, and a visit to our ladyfriend's place. We get there, and sexy fun is had. I end up falling asleep in a comfortable chair for a few hours.

    When I wake up, it's my curfew, so we pack up. I look at Choco. He looks like he has been mugged. His lip is split and bleeding, he has bruises on his face, and his neck is red.

    "Holy shit." I say. "What happened."

    "I don't know," he responds. Tears are streaming down his face. "...But it was ok." He also has a silly grin on his face.

    We had to spend the first half of the break explaining how he had an 'allergic outbreak' to something he ate, which explained the 'terrible rashes' all over his neck and chest and his swollen face. It was incredibly awkward.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    That story is missing some vital information.

    Charles Kinbote on
  • KungFuKungFu Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.


    And I guess I can add one that is somewhat relevant to the thread and happened to me on New Years Eve.

    I am at a friend's house for his New Years party and it was just getting started when all of a sudden someone comes inside saying "Guys, check out this fire across the street. Some car is on fire." I say "Sweet, let's go" and we go across the street. I go from "sweet!" to "D:" in about five seconds as it is my car that is in flames and firefighters are beating the crap out of it to get to the fire.

    Electrical fire or something I later find out.

    KungFu on
    Theft 4 Bread
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Well, see, I was sleeping, so I missed some vital information. I felt it was strange enough to qualify though, especially with bits missing :D

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • Ethan SmithEthan Smith Origin name: Beart4to Arlington, VARegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    All of Saturday was weird for me.

    So you see, I was expecting to go out on a date. My first date. I had mentioned it in passing to my mom, but she, being my mom, mentioned it to both of my sisters, who, being my sisters, are both gossips. I was really feeling good about that while walking down to the deli for breakfast. On the way, I met this girl, Luisa.

    Now, Luisa and I are very similar people. We're both really eccentric, personality wise, and we've both basically liked the same kinds of books, films, and comics for our whole lives. However, she fucking hates me. I'm not a hating person, but, well, the last time we talked in December, she had called me a filthy minded sexist pig. So we met, ate breakfast, and walked to her basketball game, talking about shit like the past two months had never even happened. It was REALLY fucking surreal.

    Now, the girl who I was going out with is a great woman-she's smart, she's funny, she's nice, she's eccentric, and she's pretty hot. We had been speaking from Christmas to Tuesday, and we're ridiculously similar. However, as she isn't the kind to carry her cellphone or go online often, I hadn't spoken to her since Tuesday. I sent her a message describing when would be a good time for the movie for me (she lives in a town that's around 20 miles away), but she hadn't responded. "Big deal," I thought "it's a weekday". She had been online, she just hadn't responded. However, on Saturday, right before I'm about to go, I get a call from a friend saying that her dad had come over on Thursday for the first time in a month, and that she was going to dinner with him.

    I don't have anything against her for that, she doesn't see her dad often, it was just awkward as FUCK to go back home.

    Ethan Smith on
  • NibbleNibble Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    Nibble on
    sig.php?id=178
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Nibble wrote: »
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    I was thinking that Choco wasn't her boyfriend at all, he was some largely unmentioned guy, but I think your theory is more sound *hat tip*.

    Who is "she"?

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • Aroused BullAroused Bull Registered User
    edited January 2008
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Nibble wrote: »
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    I was thinking that Choco wasn't her boyfriend at all, he was some largely unmentioned guy, but I think your theory is more sound *hat tip*.

    Who is "she"?

    Choco is definitely Cass' boyfriend. I gather that they had a threesome with this women, who is apparently prone to violence and beat the shit out of Choco mid-coitus while Cass was asleep.

    Aroused Bull on
  • The Muffin ManThe Muffin Man Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rohaq wrote: »
    Lately, my dad has been letting slip things that previously have been secret. For example, previous legal issues, the fact that he owns a gun, and last night this took a turn for the worst.

    I was at dinner with my old lady last night, when my dad decided to reveal that when me married my mom, it was because they were already pregnant with me.

    Also, my youngest brother was the result of a botched vasectomy, the painful ordeal of which he described in great detail.

    Jesus Christ, dad.

    I was apparently unplanned, and my dad wanted to abort me.

    My sister was a celebratory shag after my mum had recovered from having me (I was a big baby).

    hi5? :(

    Next topic title: Strange, Embarrassing, and Depressing Moments.

    :(

    The Muffin Man on
  • Dread Pirate ArbuthnotDread Pirate Arbuthnot OMG WRIGGLY T O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    ArrBeeBee wrote: »
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Nibble wrote: »
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    I was thinking that Choco wasn't her boyfriend at all, he was some largely unmentioned guy, but I think your theory is more sound *hat tip*.

    Who is "she"?

    Choco is definitely Cass' boyfriend. I gather that they had a threesome with this women, who is apparently prone to violence and beat the shit out of Choco mid-coitus while Cass was asleep.

    Yes. I did not think it was that complicated, apologies.

    Dread Pirate Arbuthnot on
  • ArikadoArikado Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Shitty vodka makes weird shit happen.

    There was a party (12 people or so) at our friends house and they when we got there, everyone was already drunk. They lived across some liquor store so (being the new and sober people) we were asked to pick them up some vodka or tequila.

    Being poor college students, we went with discount orange bottle vodka and middle range tequila, albeit a small bottle. We come back and everyone hits the tequila. However, one guy was solo-killing the vodka. Most everyone is conversing/yelling at each other loudly. I was drinking but very sober still. I go outside for a breather and I see vodka guy shirtless on the sidewalk humping my friend's car and making very loud "sex noises" as people walk by on the opposite side of the street. After he gets tired, he goes into the bushes and takes a shit. I decided to call it a night and go home.

    Arikado on
    BNet: Arikado#1153 | Steam | LoL: Anzen
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Yes. I did not think it was that complicated, apologies.

    Further information gleaned from this story;

    Weed and/or Vodka aside, either this was a really quiet beating of his life, or Cass sleeps like the dead.

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • Double DeuceDouble Deuce Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    cytorak wrote: »
    The clue?
    Succotash.

    "How were we supposed to get that from your clue, Mike?"

    "Well, " Mike says, condescendingly exasperated. "You were supposed to say, 'What's the color, Mike?'"

    I don't understand this at all. Can someone help me?

    Double Deuce on
  • cytorakcytorak Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    cytorak wrote: »
    The clue?
    Succotash.

    "How were we supposed to get that from your clue, Mike?"

    "Well, " Mike says, condescendingly exasperated. "You were supposed to say, 'What's the color, Mike?'"

    I don't understand this at all. Can someone help me?


    He also told us he was planning on "running the Reptilian Mile", whatever the fuck that means.

    cytorak on
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    cytorak wrote: »
    cytorak wrote: »
    The clue?
    Succotash.

    "How were we supposed to get that from your clue, Mike?"

    "Well, " Mike says, condescendingly exasperated. "You were supposed to say, 'What's the color, Mike?'"

    I don't understand this at all. Can someone help me?


    He also told us he was planning on "running the Reptilian Mile", whatever the fuck that means.

    So, is he channeling David Icke?

    AngelHedgie on
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • The Last GentThe Last Gent Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Aright, this happened earlier today. Kind of minor, but embarrassing as hell. So I spent most of the day hanging around with a lady friend, and at one point, we went to one of those asian malls that sells bootleg EVERYTHING. I was of course, totally lost, (half of the signs weren't even in english) but this was her stomping ground, so she just led my bewildered self around.

    Anyway, we're in one of those video stores where ALL the DVDs are bootlegs. So I have this huge, fascinated, dumb grin on my face as I inspect all of these cheap movies, most of which are still in theaters, and according to her, are high-quality. Of course I'm against pirating movies, but it was still nifty to look around. Anyways, bear in mind the aforementioned stupid, fascinated grin I wore, and the fact that the store was quite crowded and small. So I walk through the tiny store, reaching the back. I inspect the last row of shelves, and turn to the back wall. It was the delay that killed me. I registered DVD's, DVD's with girls on the cover....scantily chad girls on the cover...the hell? Then it hit me. It was a whole wall of porn. In a tiny store in the mall, surrounded by throngs of people, families and KIDS, and this girl, I'd been grinning madly at this wall of porn for like a good 10 seconds, why I didn't register it faster, I don't know. So I try and hide the sudden D: on my face, spin around, and go over to her, hoping no one paid attention to me, and thinks I'm some kind of pervert now. She of course was trying not to chuckle too loudly at my ignorance.


    Seriously, who keeps a wall of porn out in the open in a small store in the MAIN area of a mall?

    The Last Gent on
  • Double DeuceDouble Deuce Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seriously, who keeps a wall of porn out in the open in a small store in the MAIN area of a mall?

    Pretty much every video store in Chinatown in San Francisco. ;-)

    I've had similar interactions in those kinds of stores myself.

    Good story.

    Double Deuce on
  • HazzHazz Registered User
    edited January 2008

    Seriously, who keeps a wall of porn out in the open in a small store in the MAIN area of a mall?

    Good businessmen?

    Hazz on
  • OdiniousOdinious regular
    edited January 2008
    Talk about strange, I got lost in the park yesterday. What was supposed to be a two mile jog ended up being a 7-8 mile jaunt around the park system. I am not that in shape so I walked most of that, but still...

    Damn am I sore today.

    Odinious on
  • FendallFendall Registered User
    edited January 2008
    I got a phone call from my boss last night, a bit unusual since unless the office is on fire I rarely get called up. "Hey! You have to see this! I found the best porn sight ever!". OK my boss is giving me porn advice, I've dealt with wierder things. He reads out a URL and I lob up the browser and head off for some fap action. Apparently its some wierd amature goth vampire fetish site, not really my scene but girls in sexy clothes are always good.

    Then I recognise the girl. Its my part time accounts clerk, a 19 year old chick and pretty hot. The ironic thing is when we hired her my boss was worried she wouldn't fit in because she seemed quiet. Apparently its the silent ones you have to watch out for.

    Shes coming in Monday, can't wait!

    Fendall on
  • OdiniousOdinious regular
    edited January 2008
    Fendall wrote: »
    I got a phone call from my boss last night, a bit unusual since unless the office is on fire I rarely get called up. "Hey! You have to see this! I found the best porn sight ever!". OK my boss is giving me porn advice, I've dealt with wierder things. He reads out a URL and I lob up the browser and head off for some fap action. Apparently its some wierd amature goth vampire fetish site, not really my scene but girls in sexy clothes are always good.

    Then I recognise the girl. Its my part time accounts clerk, a 19 year old chick and pretty hot. The ironic thing is when we hired her my boss was worried she wouldn't fit in because she seemed quiet. Apparently its the silent ones you have to watch out for.

    Shes coming in Monday, can't wait!

    You know what you must do.

    Odinious on
  • deowolfdeowolf Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Odinious wrote: »
    Fendall wrote: »
    I got a phone call from my boss last night, a bit unusual since unless the office is on fire I rarely get called up. "Hey! You have to see this! I found the best porn sight ever!". OK my boss is giving me porn advice, I've dealt with wierder things. He reads out a URL and I lob up the browser and head off for some fap action. Apparently its some wierd amature goth vampire fetish site, not really my scene but girls in sexy clothes are always good.

    Then I recognise the girl. Its my part time accounts clerk, a 19 year old chick and pretty hot. The ironic thing is when we hired her my boss was worried she wouldn't fit in because she seemed quiet. Apparently its the silent ones you have to watch out for.

    Shes coming in Monday, can't wait!

    You know what you must do.

    Put a stake through her what?

    That's what you mean right?

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    deowolf wrote: »
    Odinious wrote: »
    Fendall wrote: »
    I got a phone call from my boss last night, a bit unusual since unless the office is on fire I rarely get called up. "Hey! You have to see this! I found the best porn sight ever!". OK my boss is giving me porn advice, I've dealt with wierder things. He reads out a URL and I lob up the browser and head off for some fap action. Apparently its some wierd amature goth vampire fetish site, not really my scene but girls in sexy clothes are always good.

    Then I recognise the girl. Its my part time accounts clerk, a 19 year old chick and pretty hot. The ironic thing is when we hired her my boss was worried she wouldn't fit in because she seemed quiet. Apparently its the silent ones you have to watch out for.

    Shes coming in Monday, can't wait!

    You know what you must do.

    Put a stake through her what?

    That's what you mean right?

    He's already seen it, might as well touch it.

    Veevee on
  • OdiniousOdinious regular
    edited January 2008
    1. Grab a mirror.
    2. Walk up behind her.
    3. Hold the mirror in front of her, and try to see if you can see her reflection.
    4. When she asks you, "What the hell are you doing," just tell her that you had to see something.
    5. There is no step five. You are probably going to get arrested for sexual harassment. But it's OK, because you'll know if she truly is a vampire.

    Odinious on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    ArrBeeBee wrote: »
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Nibble wrote: »
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    I was thinking that Choco wasn't her boyfriend at all, he was some largely unmentioned guy, but I think your theory is more sound *hat tip*.

    Who is "she"?

    Choco is definitely Cass' boyfriend. I gather that they had a threesome with this women, who is apparently prone to violence and beat the shit out of Choco mid-coitus while Cass was asleep.

    Yes. I did not think it was that complicated, apologies.


    Your views interest me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    DarkWarrior on
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    ArrBeeBee wrote: »
    TeeMan wrote: »
    Nibble wrote: »
    KungFu wrote: »
    The best I can come up with is that your sexy fun was really violent or something.

    I am not, but she is, which means that she had unrestricted access to Choco while I slept, which meant he got the shit beat out of him (sexy-like).

    Am I to understand that there was some sort of ménage à trois going on, or does this ladyfriend of yours like to take liberties with your belongings when you're asleep?

    I was thinking that Choco wasn't her boyfriend at all, he was some largely unmentioned guy, but I think your theory is more sound *hat tip*.

    Who is "she"?

    Choco is definitely Cass' boyfriend. I gather that they had a threesome with this women, who is apparently prone to violence and beat the shit out of Choco mid-coitus while Cass was asleep.

    Yes. I did not think it was that complicated, apologies.


    Your views interest me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Step 1. Get a girlfriend
    Step 2. Make sure girlfriend enjoys the 'softer sex'
    Step 3. Make sure she doesn't have jealousy issues
    Step 4. ???
    Step 5. Get beaten... er... I mean, Profit.

    Veevee on
  • TachTach Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Just when you think you know enough about someone on an internet messageboard- BLAM!

    Tach on
  • OctoparrotOctoparrot Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Odinious wrote: »
    1. Grab a mirror.
    2. Walk up behind her.
    3. Hold the mirror in front of her, and try to see if you can see her reflection.
    4. When she asks you, "What the hell are you doing," just tell her that you had to see something.
    5. There is no step five. You are probably going to get arrested for sexual harassment. But it's OK, because you'll know if she truly is a vampire.

    Would it be sexual harassment to make seemingly innocent comments like, "Your accent, is it Transylvanian?" or referring to latex/pvc materials often?

    Octoparrot on
  • deowolfdeowolf Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    "Look, officer, she's the one who did vampire-goth porn on the internet. I just wanted to see if her teeth were real."

    deowolf on
    [SIGPIC]acocoSig.jpg[/SIGPIC]
  • ForarForar #432 Toronto, Ontario, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    deowolf wrote: »
    "Look, officer, she's the one who did vampire-goth porn on the internet. I just wanted to see if her teeth were real."

    "Son, I understand that. Next time you might want to ask to check that out with something other than your penis."

    Forar on
    First they came for the Muslims, and we said NOT TODAY, MOTHERFUCKER!
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Octoparrot wrote: »
    Odinious wrote: »
    1. Grab a mirror.
    2. Walk up behind her.
    3. Hold the mirror in front of her, and try to see if you can see her reflection.
    4. When she asks you, "What the hell are you doing," just tell her that you had to see something.
    5. There is no step five. You are probably going to get arrested for sexual harassment. But it's OK, because you'll know if she truly is a vampire.

    Would it be sexual harassment to make seemingly innocent comments like, "Your accent, is it Transylvanian?" or referring to latex/pvc materials often?

    Short answer: Yes
    Long answer: Do it.

    Veevee on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    I think the major problem here is that we haven't been linked discretely to the vampire porn.

    DarkWarrior on
  • OctoparrotOctoparrot Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I think the major problem here is that we haven't been linked discretely to the vampire porn.

    Octoparrot on
  • VeeveeVeevee WisconsinRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Octoparrot wrote: »
    I think the major problem here is that we haven't been linked discretely to the vampire porn.

    Veevee on
  • DarkWarriorDarkWarrior __BANNED USERS
    edited January 2008
    Veevee wrote: »
    Octoparrot wrote: »
    I think the major problem here is that we haven't been linked discretely to the vampire porn.

    I see what you did there. ;)

    DarkWarrior on
  • ElkiElki get busy Moderator, ClubPA mod
    edited January 2008
    Don't do that.

    Elki on
    smCQ5WE.jpg
  • TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Fendall wrote: »
    I got a phone call from my boss last night, a bit unusual since unless the office is on fire I rarely get called up. "Hey! You have to see this! I found the best porn sight ever!". OK my boss is giving me porn advice, I've dealt with wierder things. He reads out a URL and I lob up the browser and head off for some fap action. Apparently its some wierd amature goth vampire fetish site, not really my scene but girls in sexy clothes are always good.

    Then I recognise the girl. Its my part time accounts clerk, a 19 year old chick and pretty hot. The ironic thing is when we hired her my boss was worried she wouldn't fit in because she seemed quiet. Apparently its the silent ones you have to watch out for.

    Shes coming in Monday, can't wait!

    Yeah I've had a similar sort of instance. Seeing naked friends randomly on a porn site is both awesome and horrifying... All the more horrifying when you notice that its you standing next to her facing away from the camera with welt marks on your back...

    *sigh*

    I was only supposed to be there as a shaprone damnit.


    Ok I've said too much, now transfering you back to regular programming:|

    TeeMan on
    steam_sig.png
  • RohaqRohaq Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Elki wrote: »
    Don't do that.
    Yes and none of that business where you subtly ask for it through a Private Message either!

    Yes I am kidding.
    ...really.

    Rohaq on
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    are you guys talking about personable Malaysians in here?

    edit: sorry, sorry, couldn't resist

    Charles Kinbote on
This discussion has been closed.