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QUILTBAG: Hi gay, I’m Dad!

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Posts

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    : /

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  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    I just had a day at work as myself and I feel amazing.

    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Entaru wrote: »
    I just had a day at work as myself and I feel amazing.

    Ent! This is so good! I am SUPER GODDAMN PROUD of you and hope that your amazing feelings continue. It's always really really nice when people end up being less shit than we feared.


    Also! Totally unrelated but I just turned 33 today and uh. It's nice? But I've got mixed feelings because I know that at least as of a few articles I read, the average life expectancy for a trans person as of a few years ago was 32. And that kinda fucks me up that not only does my wife (jokingly) call me an old, but I'm now a weird statistical outlier for my demographic because the world hasn't murdered me yet?

    I dunno.

    Woof. Brains, eh?

    Hope you're all doing well

  • aStoryAboutYouaStoryAboutYou Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    EDIT: I didn't process this at first, but happy birthday!!

    so, you're 100% entitled to that feeling of weirdness, and I mean none of this to say that, "no you shouldn't feel like an outlier" or any of that, because being a trans woman at all is already a wild enough way to be alive at this time.

    that being said, the "life expectancy in your 30s" stuff for trans women is extremely iffy because it was predicated on reports that didn't disaggregate by race. it's a struggle to express just how different it is out here for black and indigenous/native trans women especially, and trans women of color more generally. suffice it to say, a huge part of that difference is the access to money and security that whiteness buys.

    aStoryAboutYou on
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  • PsykomaPsykoma Registered User regular
    I'm guessing the reason the statistic is so low is because trans women of colour are killed at ridiculously unacceptable rates (in that there is no acceptable rate).
    I wonder what the average age is for white trans women, I'm guessing that while it's probably lower than cis white women, it's likely still far higher than 32.
    Which means the average life expectancy for trans WoC is even lower, and that's depressed me even more.

  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Psykoma wrote: »
    I'm guessing the reason the statistic is so low is because trans women of colour are killed at ridiculously unacceptable rates (in that there is no acceptable rate).
    I wonder what the average age is for white trans women, I'm guessing that while it's probably lower than cis white women, it's likely still far higher than 32.
    Which means the average life expectancy for trans WoC is even lower, and that's depressed me even more.

    Yeah. The whole situation is a fuck!
    Basically I know it's LESS deadly for me, but I feel like for every year I have, people are dying far younger

  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    I recall someone commenting in here a year or two ago that they'd seen statistics that suggested a murder rate of 1 in 7 for black trans women in the USA.

    Which is utterly unfuckingbelievable, and probably one of the most depressing things I've ever read in my entire life. 1 in 7.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    It gets a lot more believable if you listen to queer POC who have been talking about it for years now. But no one does, the system doesn't care, and it keeps happening. It's really really important to talk about how those life expectancy statistics are skewed toward trans women of color and, more importantly, talk about what we can do about that.

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  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Oh I believe it, it's just so far outside the realm of what my brain wants to believe is even possible.

    It absolutely floors me every time I think about it.

  • DoobhDoobh She/Her, Ace Pan/Bisexual 8-) What's up, bootlickers?Registered User regular
    the statistical differences between trans women of color and white trans women are so different that they don't even belong in the same conversation

    I wish more folk would encapsulate just how bad it is for some groups of folk out there, and understand that it's not a problem that will fix itself - we need all hands aboard if we want to fix this

    Miss me? Find me on:

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  • wanderingwandering Russia state-affiliated media Registered User regular
  • Fleur de AlysFleur de Alys Biohacker Registered User regular
    That's awesome

    Supergirl has been making me really happy lately with its representation

    Cried more than once

    Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Blurry selfie which turned out okay
    XyFxchi.jpg

  • credeikicredeiki Registered User regular
    wandering wrote: »

    holy shittttt that actor's so hot

    Steam, LoL: credeiki
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    It seems that I will have to do my legal name and gender change sooner than later. It's a complicated situation, but it boils down to public insurance being unwilling to cover treatments for transgender people - my psychiatrist already told me he would not reference my gender dysphoria on my invoice because of this. Being legally female offers some degree of protection on the basis of sex.

    Unfortunately changing one's legal gender is a headache because there is no law governing it. It would also mean I would have to come out to my parents which would be a major disruption to my life at the moment.

    Platy on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I flirted with a female coworker today!
    She started it!
    We're both in relationships, but it was a fun flirty thing!
    It felt good! And then really really really really weird.

    But good!

  • WhippyWhippy Moderator, Admin Emeritus Admin Emeritus
    I’ve been doing electrolysis in prep for surgery and I don’t know if I just have a high pain tolerance (because of reasons), or the pain blockers they’re using are top shelf, but I am apparently taking it like a champ. I guess most other people freak out about getting an injection in the genitals? The nurse said people have to, like, have the lights dimmed, candles lit, sniffin oils, hand held, whatever, and I’m just like...fuck it, give me the biggest needle you got, I’m ready to die and so is my dick, ain’t nothing you do to it is gonna compare to what I’ve got planned for the little buddy

  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Spoilered because it's hard to stop hiding after 25 years.
    So, about 6 months ago I decided to get on with the whole being trans thing. I booked an appointment with a psychologist who's done these things before and.. well, rocked up and basically asked where I go from here. She was good, we talked about things and she advised me to talk to my GP and my fambly and.. so forth. So the fam took it well, the GP's new to this sort of thing too, but is positive and keen to help, which is nice. The psych gave me some resources from local transfolk on who's been good locally for things, and.. well, I have an appointment with an endo in May and my GP's put me on finasteride so hopefully I can stop dropping so much hair everywhere (seriously it's ridiculous).

    I'm really very lucky, so far.

    mini-ramble over

  • mysticjuicermysticjuicer [he/him] I'm a muscle wizard and I cast P U N C HRegistered User regular
    Awesome, pimento! Olive us are cheering you on! (Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.)

    narwhal wrote:
    Why am I Terran?
    My YouTube Channel! Featuring silly little Guilty Gear Strive videos and other stuff!
  • CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    credeiki wrote: »
    wandering wrote: »

    holy shittttt that actor's so hot

    Motherfucking cheekbones that can cut glass.

    "If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
  • SeidkonaSeidkona Had an upgrade Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    I don't mean to keep sucking up so much oxygen but I am sitting here waiting for the doctor to start HRT.

    When I go in I go hard.

    Seidkona on
    Mostly just huntin' monsters.
    XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
  • ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    edited March 2019
    Entaru wrote: »
    I don't mean to keep sucking up so much oxygen but I am sitting here waiting for the doctor to start HRT.

    When I go in I go hard.

    Do you need the oxygen for the HRT or is that unrelated?

    Elldren on
    fuck gendered marketing
  • 3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    The oxygen is for Entaru's flamethrower, because she's burning the motherfucker down.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    That would make it hard to get the prescription

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  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Blurry selfie which turned out okay
    XyFxchi.jpg

    PLATY YOU CUTE AS HELL

  • Erin The RedErin The Red The Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Whippy wrote: »
    I’ve been doing electrolysis in prep for surgery and I don’t know if I just have a high pain tolerance (because of reasons), or the pain blockers they’re using are top shelf, but I am apparently taking it like a champ. I guess most other people freak out about getting an injection in the genitals? The nurse said people have to, like, have the lights dimmed, candles lit, sniffin oils, hand held, whatever, and I’m just like...fuck it, give me the biggest needle you got, I’m ready to die and so is my dick, ain’t nothing you do to it is gonna compare to what I’ve got planned for the little buddy

    I've probably said this before but my electrolysis lady said she was surprised I didn't squirm or gripe more during the area prep. I told her after a vasectomy where anaesthesia didn't kick until halfway through, this isn't even CLOSE to the worst thing to happen to my downtown bonanza.

    Also! Grats on getting closer and closer to surgery! Still waiting on word back from insurance after getting all the letters in

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Entaru wrote: »
    I don't mean to keep sucking up so much oxygen but I am sitting here waiting for the doctor to start HRT.

    When I go in I go hard.

    God that seems so quick. Congratulations!

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    In fun UK news, 4 schools in Birmingham have suspended a program called No Outsiders which teaches kids about LGBT rights, after parents complained. Apparently 7 schools in Manchester have now received complaints as well, even though they aren't running the program.

    "Fundamentally the issue we have with No Outsiders is that it is changing our children's moral position on family values on sexuality and we are a traditional community.

    "Morally we do not accept homosexuality as a valid sexual relationship to have. It's not about being homophobic... that's like saying, if you don't believe in Islam, you're Islamophobic."

    No, fuckmuppet. It would be like saying if you don't want your children to learn about Muslims because you think they're immoral you're Islamophobic. Which you would be!

  • El FantasticoEl Fantastico Toronto, ONRegistered User regular
    Sad to see that the UK has similar problems to what the US faces, in that "traditional" is usually just the eldest members of a community being so backwards in their thinking, and don't actually care about the future generations or what they think.

    PSN: TheArcadeBear
    Steam: TheArcadeBear

  • Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Just, fuck religion, basically. I hate how it gives people this sacred right to be a dick to other humans.

  • OmnipotentBagelOmnipotentBagel floof Registered User regular
    I mean as someone who is sort of vaguely religious, no it doesn't.

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  • DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    People look for an excuse, any excuse, to justify their bigotry. Religion just happens to be that excuse for many.

    A huge part of this current wave of alt-right on the Internet is trying to appeal to non-religious men, using the same indoctrination tactics as religious extremist groups. The indoctrination tactics aren't inherently religious, it's just that religion is part of it when you're trying to explicitly recruit members of a religion.

    DarkPrimus on
  • wanderingwandering Russia state-affiliated media Registered User regular
    So I decided I wanted the word "Brothers" removed from the tops of any Wikipedia articles about the Wachowski sisters' films.

    It took literally months of behind-the-scenes arguing and negotiation but it's done.

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    To celebrate I watched The Wachowskis' very gay debut feature Bound, which somehow I had never gotten around to seeing. (It's a lot of fun!)

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  • the cheatthe cheat Registered User, ClubPA regular
    that's so fucking cool, wandering.

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  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    I mean as someone who is sort of vaguely religious, no it doesn't.

    Just because you aren't actively attempting to take advantage of it doesn't mean our society doesn't afford you the opportunity, or that you're not personally advantaged by virtue even of being "vaguely" religious.

    Having privilege because you're a member of a favored religion is a real thing. (And in America at least "vaguely religious" is absolutely one of the favored religions) It largely manifests as broad credulity in your motives when you offer an argument on virtually any topic:

    "I think we should feed the poor"

    "What are you a communist"

    "Jesus told me to feed the poor"

    "Well I think he's misguided but I can appreciate his commitment to his principles"

    And that applies to when people make arguments about queer liberation as well, whether for or against.

    Trying to just disavow that reality is analogous to white people protesting that not all white people are racist and why is it my responsibility. Because we're benefiting from it! We can't help but benefit from it.

    Religion definitely does give you a shield to hide behind if you want to do awful shit. Just because your specific religious understanding would seem to prohibit that kind of behavior doesn't mean that privilege doesn't still exist.

  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    Religion is an important part of many queer people's lives.

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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    ask the methodists!

  • AnzekayAnzekay Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    MrMonroe wrote: »
    I mean as someone who is sort of vaguely religious, no it doesn't.

    Just because you aren't actively attempting to take advantage of it doesn't mean our society doesn't afford you the opportunity, or that you're not personally advantaged by virtue even of being "vaguely" religious.

    Having privilege because you're a member of a favored religion is a real thing. (And in America at least "vaguely religious" is absolutely one of the favored religions) It largely manifests as broad credulity in your motives when you offer an argument on virtually any topic:

    "I think we should feed the poor"

    "What are you a communist"

    "Jesus told me to feed the poor"

    "Well I think he's misguided but I can appreciate his commitment to his principles"

    And that applies to when people make arguments about queer liberation as well, whether for or against.

    Trying to just disavow that reality is analogous to white people protesting that not all white people are racist and why is it my responsibility. Because we're benefiting from it! We can't help but benefit from it.

    Religion definitely does give you a shield to hide behind if you want to do awful shit. Just because your specific religious understanding would seem to prohibit that kind of behavior doesn't mean that privilege doesn't still exist.

    Have you experienced the pain and rejection that comes from being both queer and religious? Because that shit is not good at all.

    For a lot of queer folks who reject their religion, they can walk away from their church and faith. That's fine, tis their choice, and it still super sucks.

    but to try and keep your faith, to try and stay with your church or congregation, despite so many people there rejecting, abusing, ostracising you... That's another level of anguish entirely. I know this personally. I'm still Christian, despite all the crap my church and my parents put me through because of my sexuality, and now I have no place I can go for worship on a Sunday. I have no place where I can be with people of the same faith.

    I have two parts of me that everyone around me seems to think should be at war with each other. A lot of non-religious folk I know cannot understand how I can still have my faith, and I've been turned away from queer places or groups just because of that. Something that feels so simple and right to me, seems to confuse and perplex and horrify a lot of other folks.

    It's by no means as terrible as some other parts of a queer person's identity could be. It'd be even worse if I was out as trans, in general, obviously. It'd be worse if I wasn't a guy, or white. Heck imagine the pain that a lot of queer Muslims go through. But yeah... I dunno, I certainly don't feel very privileged a lot of the time when people find out I am both bi and christian

    Anzekay on
  • StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited March 2019
    ask the methodists!
    I’m very curious if we’re gonna get a schism.

    Also, shout out to my asshole parents, who left the Methodist church for the Catholic over a lesbian priest. Any Catholic can tell you that converting takes a lot of time and money. And not even a year later, the Methodists voted against LGBT policies anyways.

    Sterica on
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  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister It Gets Worse before it gets any better.Registered User regular
    edited March 2019
    aw whaaaat i'd heard that the methodist church was a generally really welcoming faith for lgbt people like, almost as a rule

    am i thinking of someone else... i might be.

    edit: wait then why does my grandma hate methodists so much i was sure it was the lgbt bigotry is it just the crotchety old lutheran lady thing going on?

    Metzger Meister on
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