Does anyone have some good resources on the positives and or negatives of homeschooling? My wife seems pretty deadset on it, but more and more I've been reading things suggesting its not usually the best idea, but most of it lacks real sources, so I'm looking for well written, well sourced stuff to either allay my fears, or challenge the decision.
This actually came up tangentially in a new "Education" thread that popped up in D&D today-ish, coincidentally.
Most of what I remember reading was that the main risk was the social aspects, in that school is a huge aspect of kids' social lives and development. It's really hard to fill that void, because the things you'd fill it with are things that most other kids are getting also in addition to school. I'll see if I can find any resources on it later...
(Obviously the actual knowledge is a big risk factor too, because a lot of parents don't want to teach a proper education, but that's more easily identifiable by yourself if it'll be a problem with your family.)
Yeah, that's true. I guess my main concern is what a preschool will ask for (sometimes they ask for kids to be fully potty trained), but if he's fine during the day it's really a non-issue.
He’s potty-trained for the purposes of preschool. Preschool won’t give him naps.
Which seems weird to me? I remember there being nap time or at least some sort of "lay down and shut up for a while" time through a large chunk of elementary when I was growing up.
I think it probably varies from school to school and also on how long preschool runs for.
Anya’s preschool was 3 hrs, 3 x a week so no naps for her, which is just as well as she gave up naps at 18 months.
Niko’s, if he gets in (we’d like him to attend Anya’s school’s preschool program, but it’s limited places) would be for 5 mornings a week.
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BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
Does anyone have some good resources on the positives and or negatives of homeschooling? My wife seems pretty deadset on it, but more and more I've been reading things suggesting its not usually the best idea, but most of it lacks real sources, so I'm looking for well written, well sourced stuff to either allay my fears, or challenge the decision.
This actually came up tangentially in a new "Education" thread that popped up in D&D today-ish, coincidentally.
Most of what I remember reading was that the main risk was the social aspects, in that school is a huge aspect of kids' social lives and development. It's really hard to fill that void, because the things you'd fill it with are things that most other kids are getting also in addition to school. I'll see if I can find any resources on it later...
(Obviously the actual knowledge is a big risk factor too, because a lot of parents don't want to teach a proper education, but that's more easily identifiable by yourself if it'll be a problem with your family.)
Yeah, the D&D thread is what sparked the post. I'm not so much worried that Sapling won't learn enough, because my wife are pretty well educated, and also super invested in her education, but I am worried about her socialization, especially because we are emphatically bad role models for that.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
Does anyone have some good resources on the positives and or negatives of homeschooling? My wife seems pretty deadset on it, but more and more I've been reading things suggesting its not usually the best idea, but most of it lacks real sources, so I'm looking for well written, well sourced stuff to either allay my fears, or challenge the decision.
this is not scientific at all but I've met probably 15ish people I know who were homeschooled ranging in ages from College Ages to early 30s and only 1 of them seemed fairly socially adjusted. All the others just weren't great at communicating in social situation, etc.
enough for me to be against homeschooling my own kids
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
I don't judge folks who homeschool for the right reasons but I would never be comfortable denying my kid the autonomy school give. Make their own friends, learn how to be a person in society.
Does anyone have some good resources on the positives and or negatives of homeschooling? My wife seems pretty deadset on it, but more and more I've been reading things suggesting its not usually the best idea, but most of it lacks real sources, so I'm looking for well written, well sourced stuff to either allay my fears, or challenge the decision.
this is not scientific at all but I've met probably 15ish people I know who were homeschooled ranging in ages from College Ages to early 30s and only 1 of them seemed fairly socially adjusted. All the others just weren't great at communicating in social situation, etc.
enough for me to be against homeschooling my own kids
I know I'd be shitty at it, and I can't imagine being with them 24/7. I only had kids so I could get the hell away from them.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
I mean I went to an all boys highschool and I think even THAT stunted my social development.
I have opinions about institutional education, and I know that it's basically impossible to create a generalized system that works for everyone, but yeah
Kids need autonomy. They need to be trusted and let loose. School is by far the best opportunity for that
BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
I mean, these are all things that I feel are fairly convincing. I just know that to make an effective argument to my wife, I'm going to need some factual evidence of a concerning nature. I grew up in an evangelical church, I knew a number of homeschooled kids, most of them are still weird kids who are bad at social stuff.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
What I do want to post is this:
It's everywhere now. Walmart even carries Gluten Free Matzah Meal and Matzah Ball Mix
I really don't care for the whole wheat flour matzo, it tastes much closer to actual cardboard to me.
As far as the GF stuff yeah, you can't move for those here, but the box says "not a replacement for seder matzo" which means you can't make a motzi with it. Because the motzi itself is so important, it's a huge deal for many people who follow those rules. They'll usually have that kind of thing on hand so they can have it the rest of the week, but for the seder if they can they use the oat matzo made for it. You aren't supposed to do the blessing over things that aren't made with the five grains specified.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
Does anyone have some good resources on the positives and or negatives of homeschooling? My wife seems pretty deadset on it, but more and more I've been reading things suggesting its not usually the best idea, but most of it lacks real sources, so I'm looking for well written, well sourced stuff to either allay my fears, or challenge the decision.
this is not scientific at all but I've met probably 15ish people I know who were homeschooled ranging in ages from College Ages to early 30s and only 1 of them seemed fairly socially adjusted. All the others just weren't great at communicating in social situation, etc.
enough for me to be against homeschooling my own kids
I mean, I'm also pretty terrible at communicating in social situations and I did public school all the way. :P My biggest issue with it is that you need to be super certain you can be a teacher and also a parent and also be able to cope with your kids being around literally all the time while you're doing both those things, and I can do none of that so it was never an option for us.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
I mean, these are all things that I feel are fairly convincing. I just know that to make an effective argument to my wife, I'm going to need some factual evidence of a concerning nature. I grew up in an evangelical church, I knew a number of homeschooled kids, most of them are still weird kids who are bad at social stuff.
Why does your wife want to do it strongly? That's an important piece of context here
I just know that to make an effective argument to my wife, I'm going to need some factual evidence of a concerning nature.
I'd just be googling for anything concrete, but I seem to recall reading that (your state may vary of course) you have to submit your intended curriculum to your state's DoE for review, and there's possibly some sort of proctored developmental skills testing to ensure you're actually meeting curriculum requirements and, you know, teaching. Plus I'm fairly sure you have to have your home inspected and there has to be a structured learning/classroom area. You can't just teach them while sitting on the couch in your PJs or whatever.
Again, if you want concrete facts, I'd google for your state's requirements. But, I'm pretty sure it's common that there's progress checkups, curriculum requirements, and you would likely need to invest a non-negligible amount of money in resources/materials and a dedicated learning space.
EDIT: @Brody I got all curious and looked into my state's laws. Our DoE provides a handbook.
One big drawback I found almost immediately is that you cannot receive a highschool diploma from being homeschooled here (again, your state may vary). Only school districts are allowed to issue diplomas, and they only do so if you complete their class credit requirements. So, that seems like sort of a big deal. No highschool diploma. GED still an option naturally, but that comes with a stigma, rightfully or not. There are annual assessment tests, and if your kid fails even one of them, they're required to be entered into a public or private school.
EDIT the 2nd: Homeschooled kids have the same vaccination requirements as public schooled kids, here, which is awesome, so suck it anti-vaxxers.
Cog on
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HardtargetThere Are Four LightsVancouverRegistered Userregular
I really don't care for the whole wheat flour matzo, it tastes much closer to actual cardboard to me.
As far as the GF stuff yeah, you can't move for those here, but the box says "not a replacement for seder matzo" which means you can't make a motzi with it. Because the motzi itself is so important, it's a huge deal for many people who follow those rules. They'll usually have that kind of thing on hand so they can have it the rest of the week, but for the seder if they can they use the oat matzo made for it. You aren't supposed to do the blessing over things that aren't made with the five grains specified.
eh, unless the person leading/saying the prayer is the one who is GF it feels like less of a deal for me
Clearly you're more religious but that's the beautiful thing about Judaism, it's like a choose your own adventure in rules
Another thing about homeschooling is, at least on my experience, it’s very difficult to get objective advice about it from parents already doing it. We had looked into it for my oldest and almost everyone we talked to about it with ended up having a personal axe to grind (mostly 2 camps, religious or anti-government) and it often felt like the education was a secondary aspect. The one person who talked to us from a genuine base of concern had stopped homeschooling for the reason stated above; despite much effort and scheduling their kids were falling behind on the social aspect.
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BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
I mean, these are all things that I feel are fairly convincing. I just know that to make an effective argument to my wife, I'm going to need some factual evidence of a concerning nature. I grew up in an evangelical church, I knew a number of homeschooled kids, most of them are still weird kids who are bad at social stuff.
Why does your wife want to do it strongly? That's an important piece of context here
I'll have to try and drill down and get a conversation started on that. I think its mostly to do with the way our local school system is built around testing to the exclusion of all else. We have standardized tests which, iirc at least for our district, are required to pass for graduation. This has cause a system that puts overwhelming stress on test taking, and has caused a lot of our friends with older kids to have issues with kids having extreme test anxiety. I expect its also somewhat a fear of what sort of social dangers exist in an environment so removed from our control, which terrifies me as well, but I realize its necessary that our daughter learns to cope with that stuff now, before showing up to work and meeting a bunch of people who don't agree with her about anything.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
I definitely empathize with your wife. The testing is ridiculous.
Anya is in first grade and has had four module assessments so far. Her ‘grades’ have been up and down and more based on her attention span and feelings for the day than actual ability so far as I can see.
She gets marked on grammar already (!) - I remember we didn’t even touch sentence structure until 2nd/3rd grade in the U.K. - considering many kids in grade 1 are still struggling with basic reading/spelling (which is understandable, they’re freaking 6 years old) I can’t imagine how difficult it is to work periods and capitalization and whatnot into that as well (from both a teaching and learning viewpoint).
Anya correctly identified synonyms and compound words the other day, and while that was pretty cool, it also surprised me that they’re already touching upon such definitions. Again, wasn’t something we looked at in my school until at least 3rd grade.
There is so much pressure. Anya regularly cried over homework in Kindergarten, which was 3 pages a night. School has actually ruined some of her love of reading. They read boring books which they have to analyze in some quite advanced ways. At her current school she fortunately receives no homework, but she’s at school for longer and is exhausted when she comes home.
Your school district might have a virtual school option for homeschooling. You don’t do any of the teaching or curriculum planning and your kids can participate in school functions/extracurricular activities.
Around here, homeschooled kids still have to take the standardized tests.
We are sending our kids to public school for the variety of positive reasons outweighing the negative.
I have a bookcase of various texts that I hold in high regard on many subjects that I plan to go through with my kids at age appropriate times. But in no way am I wanting to substitute a proper social and professional education atmosphere with torturing my kids and myself with being around me 24/7.
Re: homeschooling
The real question is are you and your wife willing to put in the work to develop proper lesson plans and be objective and rigorous around your kids progress while simultaneously finding a mass of social outlets for that piece to develop on a regular curve?
If so, props to you, because 90+% of people likely don't have it in them.
My daughter goes to a progressive school that emphasizes activity/ play-based learning. One packet of homework a week, and you're supposed to do one page a night. The teacher doesn't really look at it, so we stopped turning it in some weeks. We still do it, mostly to check what she's been learning. The school is dual-language, too, so she's learning Spanish. There's a big movement in our district to opt-out of testing.
She's still on track academically, and I know there's emphasis to learn to read by the end of K. She's pretty much there, phonetically, it's just a matter of getting words figured out more quickly. I remember being one of the only kids who could read in my 2nd grade class when I went to school.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
I'm Bosnia we had to read and write in one script (either Latin letters (i.e. these) or Cyrillic (i.e. Тхесе) by end of first grade, and in the other one by end of second grade. Or else...
Blows my mind that there would be kids who in second grade can't even read one.
Her Kindergarten had 3 pages of homework a night!?
Ugh. I have no idea how I'm going to handle school.
It would generally be a page of coloring (‘color all the words beginning with b’), a page of math problems and handwriting practice.
But to be honest she was often so exhausted from school that any homework requiring her to be seated at a desk with a pen in hand would send her into tears. The actual work would take about 10 minutes, tops; there was just 40 minutes of crying and bribing and coaxing beforehand.
I feel as if my first school had a decent approach to homework; when I was 6 or so we had assignments like ‘go to the grocery store and list as many fruits as possible’ or creating a project book about our homes; things that made us go out and study our environment and were things we couldn’t have done in school.
I mean, shit, I remember those assignments because they were so unique! Like I forgot to take a pen and paper with me when I went to the grocery store so I ended up turning in a list off the top of my head. Our teacher singled out a girl who had written down ugli fruit (tangelo) and pointed that she knew she had done her homework properly as not many 6 year olds would have thought to write down ugli fruit off the top of their head. That was how I learned what ugli fruit were and I have never forgotten it.
For the house project, my teacher gave me credit for drawing floor plans, and gave another friend credit for drawing an accurate (for a 7 year old) rendition of the outside of her house. The rest of us had drawn your standard square for a house, rectangular roof and two square windows and a door. That taught me about observing what things actually look like and drawing what we see rather than what we get taught to identify.
My daughter goes to a progressive school that emphasizes activity/ play-based learning. One packet of homework a week, and you're supposed to do one page a night. The teacher doesn't really look at it, so we stopped turning it in some weeks. We still do it, mostly to check what she's been learning. The school is dual-language, too, so she's learning Spanish. There's a big movement in our district to opt-out of testing.
She's still on track academically, and I know there's emphasis to learn to read by the end of K. She's pretty much there, phonetically, it's just a matter of getting words figured out more quickly. I remember being one of the only kids who could read in my 2nd grade class when I went to school.
My daughter goes to a progressive school that emphasizes activity/ play-based learning. One packet of homework a week, and you're supposed to do one page a night. The teacher doesn't really look at it, so we stopped turning it in some weeks. We still do it, mostly to check what she's been learning. The school is dual-language, too, so she's learning Spanish. There's a big movement in our district to opt-out of testing.
She's still on track academically, and I know there's emphasis to learn to read by the end of K. She's pretty much there, phonetically, it's just a matter of getting words figured out more quickly. I remember being one of the only kids who could read in my 2nd grade class when I went to school.
Is that a private school?
Nah. It's a school of choice in NYC. It's actually run by Outward Bound. I'm.. not quite sure how it all works out. They have half the kids primary Spanish speakers (mostly Dominican, since it's in Little DR), and something like 70% of students who qualify for free lunch/ are in transitional housing/ etc. The focus is expeditionary learning, from the Outward Bound philosophy.
If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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ceresWhen the last moon is cast over the last star of morningAnd the future has past without even a last desperate warningRegistered User, Moderatormod
My son's in kindergarten and thus far he can read and write in Hebrew and English. It is crazy, after kindergarten I couldn't even read in English. My kindergarten blew though, so maybe it was different for others. He gets homework but it's so simple I'm not worried about it and his teachers have said it's more to get him in the habit of doing something, even something small, most nights. I could have done exactly 0% of that though. That's a zero, immediately followed by a percent symbol. I've thought about homeschooling and then reality quickly sets in. All that stuff he can do, he would not be able to do right now if I had been the one trying to teach it to him.
I've been exposed to a lot of homeschoolers though. For reasons, I've seen religion, antivax, problems with the amount of testing, one person who lived in an area where there were no accommodations available for her son with severe behavioral problems, people who thought their kids might learn more that way and go to college sooner, and a few who lived in the woods and wanted to structure their kids' education using nature as a framework. Apparently that last one can work really well if there is a good plan in place for it and everyone is self-motivated enough to keep it going.
The most concrete example I have is my best friend in middle school, I loved her to death. Her parents were super religious (born again IIRC) and took the kids out of school when she was in 8th grade in the hopes of introducing a more religious education. Her mom had been a teacher for years so she did the teaching. The end result was that my friend ended up spending a lot less time (a few hours a day probably) over the course of the year to learn just about as much as we did in school. She basically ended up a little behind in math and the rest was fine, but her mom was so burned out she sent them all back to school the next year anyway, about as close to the bible as they had started.
And it seems like all is dying, and would leave the world to mourn
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
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Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
Noooo. This can't be true
This morning my three year old got herself stuck in a chair and wouldn't listen to any explanation of how to free herself and would scream if you touched her. It took a surprising amount of time to get her to effectively just crouch down a bit.
I need a glimmer more rationality than that.
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
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El SkidThe frozen white northRegistered Userregular
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
Noooo. This can't be true
This morning my three year old got herself stuck in a chair and wouldn't listen to any explanation of how to free herself and would scream if you touched her. It took a surprising amount of time to get her to effectively just crouch down a bit.
I need a glimmer more rationality than that.
You can certainly do your best to cultivate rationality (at that age probably just reward rational behviour as it happens?), but don’t expect miracles.
Kids are just not rational creatures, especially when they are trying to deal with strong emotions.
In my experience true rationality comes at around 30 or so. So you’ll need a bit of patience...
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
That sounds really tough. A lot of my current frustrations are the result of me and my wife getting testy with each other, because the baby has introduced so many urgent needs and our communication can be...not so great. But, my son in and of himself can be relatively simple sometimes. I can only imagine having a fully cogent and emotionally deep teenager throwing crap at you(and me probably doing it back because I'm human) and hitting you where it hurts.
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
That's often my situation with my 15 year old. Too often if I must be honest but it's just the unrelentingness of how he behaves. He never ever lets up on the bullshit and it just wears me down until I get snappy and then I feel like shit because I know full well I was no treat at that age either.
Our thing this week is he has tech week for a play he's in, and I have volunteered to run spotlights for the show. The theater is about a 30 minute drive away but he is pitching a huge fit about having to drive there with me because he wants to go with his friends. Which OK I get it but we are both going there anyways and you'll see them there the whole time. Then it degenerates into 'well I dont want them in our car, it smells like pizza'. Buddy I deliver pizza on the weekends to help pay for your theater class in the first place.
It's this horrible mix of anger, shame and a vague sense that I'm failing him in some way and no idea how to fix it.
I know he just pushed my buttons this morning. I get up, get myself showered and dressed and make breakfast and lunch for me and my wife and breakfast for him. It's frantic and not pretty but it gets done.
To have him blame me for not reminding him to email his teacher about making up tests just sent me over the edge and kind of opened up a big can of frustration. When he then argued everything I said and ended up in tears over stupid shit like wanting him to stop screen time earlier to get more sleep it just completely set me off. I can't police everything in his life, he's old enough that I need him to take care of some things on his own. And frankly he needs to give a damn about things other than anime and Xbox occasionally.
Yeah, sorry to vent, I'm just so frustrated with life right now.
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Mojo_JojoWe are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourseRegistered Userregular
I know he just pushed my buttons this morning. I get up, get myself showered and dressed and make breakfast and lunch for me and my wife and breakfast for him. It's frantic and not pretty but it gets done.
To have him blame me for not reminding him to email his teacher about making up tests just sent me over the edge and kind of opened up a big can of frustration. When he then argued everything I said and ended up in tears over stupid shit like wanting him to stop screen time earlier to get more sleep it just completely set me off. I can't police everything in his life, he's old enough that I need him to take care of some things on his own. And frankly he needs to give a damn about things other than anime and Xbox occasionally.
Yeah, sorry to vent, I'm just so frustrated with life right now.
That's kind of the point of this thread. And also teenagers are obnoxious, and I am terrified of what that is going to be like.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
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This actually came up tangentially in a new "Education" thread that popped up in D&D today-ish, coincidentally.
Most of what I remember reading was that the main risk was the social aspects, in that school is a huge aspect of kids' social lives and development. It's really hard to fill that void, because the things you'd fill it with are things that most other kids are getting also in addition to school. I'll see if I can find any resources on it later...
(Obviously the actual knowledge is a big risk factor too, because a lot of parents don't want to teach a proper education, but that's more easily identifiable by yourself if it'll be a problem with your family.)
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I think it probably varies from school to school and also on how long preschool runs for.
Anya’s preschool was 3 hrs, 3 x a week so no naps for her, which is just as well as she gave up naps at 18 months.
Niko’s, if he gets in (we’d like him to attend Anya’s school’s preschool program, but it’s limited places) would be for 5 mornings a week.
Yeah, the D&D thread is what sparked the post. I'm not so much worried that Sapling won't learn enough, because my wife are pretty well educated, and also super invested in her education, but I am worried about her socialization, especially because we are emphatically bad role models for that.
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enough for me to be against homeschooling my own kids
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
I know I'd be shitty at it, and I can't imagine being with them 24/7. I only had kids so I could get the hell away from them.
I have opinions about institutional education, and I know that it's basically impossible to create a generalized system that works for everyone, but yeah
Kids need autonomy. They need to be trusted and let loose. School is by far the best opportunity for that
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
I really don't care for the whole wheat flour matzo, it tastes much closer to actual cardboard to me.
As far as the GF stuff yeah, you can't move for those here, but the box says "not a replacement for seder matzo" which means you can't make a motzi with it. Because the motzi itself is so important, it's a huge deal for many people who follow those rules. They'll usually have that kind of thing on hand so they can have it the rest of the week, but for the seder if they can they use the oat matzo made for it. You aren't supposed to do the blessing over things that aren't made with the five grains specified.
I mean, I'm also pretty terrible at communicating in social situations and I did public school all the way. :P My biggest issue with it is that you need to be super certain you can be a teacher and also a parent and also be able to cope with your kids being around literally all the time while you're doing both those things, and I can do none of that so it was never an option for us.
Why does your wife want to do it strongly? That's an important piece of context here
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I'd just be googling for anything concrete, but I seem to recall reading that (your state may vary of course) you have to submit your intended curriculum to your state's DoE for review, and there's possibly some sort of proctored developmental skills testing to ensure you're actually meeting curriculum requirements and, you know, teaching. Plus I'm fairly sure you have to have your home inspected and there has to be a structured learning/classroom area. You can't just teach them while sitting on the couch in your PJs or whatever.
Again, if you want concrete facts, I'd google for your state's requirements. But, I'm pretty sure it's common that there's progress checkups, curriculum requirements, and you would likely need to invest a non-negligible amount of money in resources/materials and a dedicated learning space.
EDIT: @Brody I got all curious and looked into my state's laws. Our DoE provides a handbook.
One big drawback I found almost immediately is that you cannot receive a highschool diploma from being homeschooled here (again, your state may vary). Only school districts are allowed to issue diplomas, and they only do so if you complete their class credit requirements. So, that seems like sort of a big deal. No highschool diploma. GED still an option naturally, but that comes with a stigma, rightfully or not. There are annual assessment tests, and if your kid fails even one of them, they're required to be entered into a public or private school.
EDIT the 2nd: Homeschooled kids have the same vaccination requirements as public schooled kids, here, which is awesome, so suck it anti-vaxxers.
Clearly you're more religious but that's the beautiful thing about Judaism, it's like a choose your own adventure in rules
I'll have to try and drill down and get a conversation started on that. I think its mostly to do with the way our local school system is built around testing to the exclusion of all else. We have standardized tests which, iirc at least for our district, are required to pass for graduation. This has cause a system that puts overwhelming stress on test taking, and has caused a lot of our friends with older kids to have issues with kids having extreme test anxiety. I expect its also somewhat a fear of what sort of social dangers exist in an environment so removed from our control, which terrifies me as well, but I realize its necessary that our daughter learns to cope with that stuff now, before showing up to work and meeting a bunch of people who don't agree with her about anything.
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Anya is in first grade and has had four module assessments so far. Her ‘grades’ have been up and down and more based on her attention span and feelings for the day than actual ability so far as I can see.
She gets marked on grammar already (!) - I remember we didn’t even touch sentence structure until 2nd/3rd grade in the U.K. - considering many kids in grade 1 are still struggling with basic reading/spelling (which is understandable, they’re freaking 6 years old) I can’t imagine how difficult it is to work periods and capitalization and whatnot into that as well (from both a teaching and learning viewpoint).
Anya correctly identified synonyms and compound words the other day, and while that was pretty cool, it also surprised me that they’re already touching upon such definitions. Again, wasn’t something we looked at in my school until at least 3rd grade.
There is so much pressure. Anya regularly cried over homework in Kindergarten, which was 3 pages a night. School has actually ruined some of her love of reading. They read boring books which they have to analyze in some quite advanced ways. At her current school she fortunately receives no homework, but she’s at school for longer and is exhausted when she comes home.
Ugh. I have no idea how I'm going to handle school.
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We are sending our kids to public school for the variety of positive reasons outweighing the negative.
I have a bookcase of various texts that I hold in high regard on many subjects that I plan to go through with my kids at age appropriate times. But in no way am I wanting to substitute a proper social and professional education atmosphere with torturing my kids and myself with being around me 24/7.
The real question is are you and your wife willing to put in the work to develop proper lesson plans and be objective and rigorous around your kids progress while simultaneously finding a mass of social outlets for that piece to develop on a regular curve?
If so, props to you, because 90+% of people likely don't have it in them.
Today was her 12th absence due to fever.
Niko never gets sick from her.
I’m concerned that her immune system seems so poor? If it was just colds it wouldn’t bother me, but she seems to get accompanying fevers so often.
She's still on track academically, and I know there's emphasis to learn to read by the end of K. She's pretty much there, phonetically, it's just a matter of getting words figured out more quickly. I remember being one of the only kids who could read in my 2nd grade class when I went to school.
Blows my mind that there would be kids who in second grade can't even read one.
But to be honest she was often so exhausted from school that any homework requiring her to be seated at a desk with a pen in hand would send her into tears. The actual work would take about 10 minutes, tops; there was just 40 minutes of crying and bribing and coaxing beforehand.
I feel as if my first school had a decent approach to homework; when I was 6 or so we had assignments like ‘go to the grocery store and list as many fruits as possible’ or creating a project book about our homes; things that made us go out and study our environment and were things we couldn’t have done in school.
I mean, shit, I remember those assignments because they were so unique! Like I forgot to take a pen and paper with me when I went to the grocery store so I ended up turning in a list off the top of my head. Our teacher singled out a girl who had written down ugli fruit (tangelo) and pointed that she knew she had done her homework properly as not many 6 year olds would have thought to write down ugli fruit off the top of their head. That was how I learned what ugli fruit were and I have never forgotten it.
For the house project, my teacher gave me credit for drawing floor plans, and gave another friend credit for drawing an accurate (for a 7 year old) rendition of the outside of her house. The rest of us had drawn your standard square for a house, rectangular roof and two square windows and a door. That taught me about observing what things actually look like and drawing what we see rather than what we get taught to identify.
Is that a private school?
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Nah. It's a school of choice in NYC. It's actually run by Outward Bound. I'm.. not quite sure how it all works out. They have half the kids primary Spanish speakers (mostly Dominican, since it's in Little DR), and something like 70% of students who qualify for free lunch/ are in transitional housing/ etc. The focus is expeditionary learning, from the Outward Bound philosophy.
I've been exposed to a lot of homeschoolers though. For reasons, I've seen religion, antivax, problems with the amount of testing, one person who lived in an area where there were no accommodations available for her son with severe behavioral problems, people who thought their kids might learn more that way and go to college sooner, and a few who lived in the woods and wanted to structure their kids' education using nature as a framework. Apparently that last one can work really well if there is a good plan in place for it and everyone is self-motivated enough to keep it going.
The most concrete example I have is my best friend in middle school, I loved her to death. Her parents were super religious (born again IIRC) and took the kids out of school when she was in 8th grade in the hopes of introducing a more religious education. Her mom had been a teacher for years so she did the teaching. The end result was that my friend ended up spending a lot less time (a few hours a day probably) over the course of the year to learn just about as much as we did in school. She basically ended up a little behind in math and the rest was fine, but her mom was so burned out she sent them all back to school the next year anyway, about as close to the bible as they had started.
like,
worse than threenagers?
(yes this is a facetious question and I'm here for you, friend. please tell me it gets better)
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That's a good question. I think they are equally as rational. It's the moodiness and not giving a crap about anything. I'm just completely burned out and this morning ran out of patience entirely. I feel bad about it now, I hate to have drama before school, but I'm just at the lowest I've felt as a parent in a long time.
Noooo. This can't be true
This morning my three year old got herself stuck in a chair and wouldn't listen to any explanation of how to free herself and would scream if you touched her. It took a surprising amount of time to get her to effectively just crouch down a bit.
I need a glimmer more rationality than that.
You can certainly do your best to cultivate rationality (at that age probably just reward rational behviour as it happens?), but don’t expect miracles.
Kids are just not rational creatures, especially when they are trying to deal with strong emotions.
In my experience true rationality comes at around 30 or so. So you’ll need a bit of patience...
That sounds really tough. A lot of my current frustrations are the result of me and my wife getting testy with each other, because the baby has introduced so many urgent needs and our communication can be...not so great. But, my son in and of himself can be relatively simple sometimes. I can only imagine having a fully cogent and emotionally deep teenager throwing crap at you(and me probably doing it back because I'm human) and hitting you where it hurts.
That's often my situation with my 15 year old. Too often if I must be honest but it's just the unrelentingness of how he behaves. He never ever lets up on the bullshit and it just wears me down until I get snappy and then I feel like shit because I know full well I was no treat at that age either.
Our thing this week is he has tech week for a play he's in, and I have volunteered to run spotlights for the show. The theater is about a 30 minute drive away but he is pitching a huge fit about having to drive there with me because he wants to go with his friends. Which OK I get it but we are both going there anyways and you'll see them there the whole time. Then it degenerates into 'well I dont want them in our car, it smells like pizza'. Buddy I deliver pizza on the weekends to help pay for your theater class in the first place.
It's this horrible mix of anger, shame and a vague sense that I'm failing him in some way and no idea how to fix it.
To have him blame me for not reminding him to email his teacher about making up tests just sent me over the edge and kind of opened up a big can of frustration. When he then argued everything I said and ended up in tears over stupid shit like wanting him to stop screen time earlier to get more sleep it just completely set me off. I can't police everything in his life, he's old enough that I need him to take care of some things on his own. And frankly he needs to give a damn about things other than anime and Xbox occasionally.
Yeah, sorry to vent, I'm just so frustrated with life right now.
If you make sure to hit the gym enough you can always pick up your kids
That's kind of the point of this thread. And also teenagers are obnoxious, and I am terrified of what that is going to be like.
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I want my kids to wrestle but I also want to be able to suplex them whenever necessary. I'm afraid they'll reach a point where I can't
But imagine how proud you’ll be when he counters the suplex with a small package for a surprise 3-count to take the title from you.
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