What's truly disturbing is that I am absolutely sure there is porn out there that involves eating turtles.
Does my erotic ninja turtles fanfic count?
So, here's the thing,
According to the late 90s live action TMNT TV show, while we all thought there were only four turtles that were exposed to the mutagenic "ooze" that created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, in reality there were actually a fifth turtle, who was female. Splinter missed her when he collected the four, and she crawled around in the New York City sewers for a while until she was found by a wizard (who was also a ninja). He took her to China, and taught her how to fight. Later on the ninja wizard and Splinter had a psychic connection and they both found out about the other turtles.
After a while the wizard ninja dies, and the female turtle goes to New York City to meet the Ninja Turtles. They find out that while they all assumed that they were brothers, none of them were related to each other at all, laying the groundwork for some red hot inter-turtle action. Humanoid mutated turtles fucking is totally fine, but we gotta draw the line at humanoid mutated turtle incest.
Anyway, the main thing I want you to take from this is not to let your dreams be dreams, your erotic ninja turtles fanfic could technically be canon.
The only reason I actually know this dumb shit is because I used to babysit a friend's kids who were big TMNT fans, and when they found out that I also liked the Ninja Turtles when I was a kid they showed me the live action TV show and I was confused as hell and read up about it.
I wish they'd bring the old sidescrolling beat'emups to Steam.
And those turtles fought the Power Rangers. (In Space)
What's truly disturbing is that I am absolutely sure there is porn out there that involves eating turtles.
Does my erotic ninja turtles fanfic count?
So, here's the thing,
According to the late 90s live action TMNT TV show, while we all thought there were only four turtles that were exposed to the mutagenic "ooze" that created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, in reality there were actually a fifth turtle, who was female. Splinter missed her when he collected the four, and she crawled around in the New York City sewers for a while until she was found by a wizard (who was also a ninja). He took her to China, and taught her how to fight. Later on the ninja wizard and Splinter had a psychic connection and they both found out about the other turtles.
After a while the wizard ninja dies, and the female turtle goes to New York City to meet the Ninja Turtles. They find out that while they all assumed that they were brothers, none of them were related to each other at all, laying the groundwork for some red hot inter-turtle action. Humanoid mutated turtles fucking is totally fine, but we gotta draw the line at humanoid mutated turtle incest.
Anyway, the main thing I want you to take from this is not to let your dreams be dreams, your erotic ninja turtles fanfic could technically be canon.
The only reason I actually know this dumb shit is because I used to babysit a friend's kids who were big TMNT fans, and when they found out that I also liked the Ninja Turtles when I was a kid they showed me the live action TV show and I was confused as hell and read up about it.
I wish they'd bring the old sidescrolling beat'emups to Steam.
I'd loved the live action movies enough to actually watch the first episode of that, despite being like 16 when it came out, because it was approximately a continuation of the movies (such as them living in the abandoned subway station after their sewer lair was destroyed). It was... Really bad, and the older I've gotten the more things I've found bad about it on reflection.
Splinter named the female turtle Venus de Milo, after a work of art (not an artist as he did with the male turtles). That's one that didn't quite hit me until like twenty years later. She didn't get her own signature color (she was a slightly paler blue than Leonardo) or weapon. She was a complete ditz, without Michelangelo's wit to make up for it. And the first episode dedicated like nine minutes of runtime to establishing that she wasn't related to any of the others by blood, and most of the rest to the guys competing to impress her (while explaining that she wasn't *really* their sister so this was ok).
She is officially stricken from canon. Even the four half-naked time traveling monks from TMNT3 didn't earn that fate. Venus alone was utterly erased from being.
@Big Classy Thanks a bunch for the early b-day present (or technically not because of Timezones) of Shape of the World, it looks pretty trippy, looking forward to trying it out!
-Loki-Don't pee in my mouth and tell me it's raining.Registered Userregular
edited May 2019
You know, I really wish Steam had the ability to add a 'sort as' name to games. It bugs the shit out of me when I see games in a series out of order. Like I have Borderlands 2>Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Would be nice if they added a sort as name in each games settings, so I could change them to Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands 2>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Or the irritating Tomb Raider situation, where none are in their chronological release order (Rise of the Tomb Raider>Shadow of the Tomb Raider>Tomb Raider), which gets worse if you have any other games that fall between those first few letters.
You know, I really wish Steam had the ability to add a 'sort as' name to games. It bugs the shit out of me when I see games in a series out of order. Like I have Borderlands 2>Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Would be nice if they added a sort as name in each games settings, so I could change them to Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands 2>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Or the irritating Tomb Raider situation, where none are in their chronological release order (Rise of the Tomb Raider>Shadow of the Tomb Raider>Tomb Raider), which gets worse if you have any other games that fall between those first letters.
That would be amazing. Some series' already do that anyway (Hitman leaps to mind, at least the old ones, which actually do show up in chronological release order, not alphabetical), so the functionality exists somewhere in the back-end, even if it's not user-definable.
Edit: screengrab from my Steam library:
The new games don't follow it (I don't have new Hitman 2, as you can see, but I'm guessing it would be after new Hitman 1), but the old series games are listed in chronological order.
You know, I really wish Steam had the ability to add a 'sort as' name to games. It bugs the shit out of me when I see games in a series out of order. Like I have Borderlands 2>Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Would be nice if they added a sort as name in each games settings, so I could change them to Borderlands GOTY>Borderlands 2>Borderlands The Pre Sequel. Or the irritating Tomb Raider situation, where none are in their chronological release order (Rise of the Tomb Raider>Shadow of the Tomb Raider>Tomb Raider), which gets worse if you have any other games that fall between those first few letters.
Deus Ex is almost in the right order. For some reason it has The Missing Link (Human Revolution's DLC) listed before Human Revolution itself. Otherwise it's in the right order.
Deus Ex is almost in the right order. For some reason it has The Missing Link (Human Revolution's DLC) listed before Human Revolution itself. Otherwise it's in the right order.
But I mean, you'd just play the Director's Cut which has it integrated, right?
Deus Ex is almost in the right order. For some reason it has The Missing Link (Human Revolution's DLC) listed before Human Revolution itself. Otherwise it's in the right order.
But I mean, you'd just play the Director's Cut which has it integrated, right?
And is the only way you can buy it on PC now. But not the point!
FairchildRabbit used short words that were easy to understand, like "Hello Pooh, how about Lunch ?"Registered Userregular
Playing the Steam version of ARKHAM: Origins GOTY now, the first of the ARKHAM series of games without Kevin Conroy doing Batman's voice, which is rather jarring. The game loads with all of your Alternate keybindings set to 'Left Mouse Button' which means, guess what ? that none of the mouse commands work, until you go into Options and reset ALL OF THE ALTERNATE KEYBINDINGS to something else. Woo hoo !
I remember this happening with the PC version of Origins at launch, too, but I was a younger, more foolish person back then and it took me a long time, including deleting and re-installing the game, to figure out what the problem was.
So, I've just wrapped up my first playthrough of Heaven's Vault. I'll open with this: I thought it was great. I absolutely did.
But, you're asking, what is it? Well, it's a point-and-click adventure, where you go along with archaeologist Aliyah as she investigates the aforesaid Vault. What is it? Where is it? What does it do? Why has another investigation ended in a mysterious death? These are all questions floating through the narrative, and some of them are even answered. Maybe all of them are, and maybe I just didn't know it.
That's thanks to the central mechanic of Heaven's Vault - translations. As Aliyah walks through the vividly realised worlds, moving from shattered mausoleums to thriving markets on the back of interstellar rivers, she tends to run across ruins and artifacts. Examining these tends to yield up inscriptions, written in a language that no-one now speaks. Your first inscription may be simple - three symbols, with options provided for each one. You make your selections to gain a phrase, to gain a little more context in the world, to get a handle on the history, on the story of the places Aliyah finds herself. And the next inscription might include those same symbols, and now your guesses help make sense of a larger piece - or not. It took me quite a while to figure out that a particular glyph meant 'if', for example. And in the meantime, my other translations made less sense, and I gleaned fewer clues than I might have.
It's a fun mechanic, and the way it exposes you to the lore and the plot over time is really quite clever. If Lara Croft is the action archaeologist, blowing up every temple she comes across, Aliyah is the more cerebral - cautious, sarcastic, fiercely individual - and fascinated by the past, approaching every new inscription with enthusiasm and curiosity.
The world she inhabits is vividly, beautifully rendered. Scattered moons support scarce human populations - there are deserts, there are lush farming centres, there are dead wastelands. And between them all are interstellar rivers, on which you can sail to get from one world to another. How the system works, why it's there? Those are things you may be able to find out. But in the meantime, rest assured that it's beautiful, and a lot of fun to poke into the farthest corners of.
It's also a world absolutely stepped in history - layers and layers of it, as your inscription hunting will slowly uncover. There's been some dark parts of the past, and some poignant moments as well. You'll find them intertwined with lost technologies that no-one alive understands or can maintain, stories and secrets encircling the worlds and their rivers. There's so many stories out here, and the game evokes the sense of discovery and the wonder and fascination of it perfectly.
Also, the soundtrack. It's quietly compelling, and blends wonderfully with the environment. I'm not a big soundtrack person, but this one was pitch perfect.
There's a lot of reading here, not going to lie. A lot of it is in smart dialogue between Aliyah and companions, where your choice of options determines which dialogue tree you go down; I don't know if there's a way to hear all the dialogue in one playthrough, but I suspect not. What I did get to read was clever, interesting, and organically written.
Pacing-wise, this is self-driven; you can storm through the basic plot quite quickly, I suspect. But if you slow down, explore ruins, dig through ancient texts, poke around in corners - then you'll have a deeper, more emotionally and narratively fulfilliing experience.
Anyway. I'm about to start New Game Plus. But wanted to say that this is an amazing, rewarding, cleverly written adventure, and I advise everyone to give it a try.
(thanks @akajaybay for giving it to me in the first place!)
Posts
And those turtles fought the Power Rangers. (In Space)
I'd loved the live action movies enough to actually watch the first episode of that, despite being like 16 when it came out, because it was approximately a continuation of the movies (such as them living in the abandoned subway station after their sewer lair was destroyed). It was... Really bad, and the older I've gotten the more things I've found bad about it on reflection.
She is officially stricken from canon. Even the four half-naked time traveling monks from TMNT3 didn't earn that fate. Venus alone was utterly erased from being.
More like Adam Jenson's new playground.
*watches every unit at pirate base open fire on my flagship*
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
@JaysonFour strikes with some preemptive birthday madness.
DLCs! Woo! No backlog! Thanks for the Nubians and Forgotten Gods!
The story is mostly stupid garbage but it has some really cool stuff near the back half.
The gameplay is exceptional.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
I already know the storybeats and the punchline, and I frankly really don't want to pay attention to that
Thanks to @destroyah87 @JaysonFour and @Big Classy for the Subnautica Below Zero, The Hex, and Sairento VR respectively.
Thanks to you all for making this a special community. :heartbeat:
That would be amazing. Some series' already do that anyway (Hitman leaps to mind, at least the old ones, which actually do show up in chronological release order, not alphabetical), so the functionality exists somewhere in the back-end, even if it's not user-definable.
Edit: screengrab from my Steam library:
The new games don't follow it (I don't have new Hitman 2, as you can see, but I'm guessing it would be after new Hitman 1), but the old series games are listed in chronological order.
Steam | XBL
I liked the story. It's messy, but it definitely had its moments.
uplay lists all their series in release order
Also, I basically have a sub-library of games that all begin with TOM CLANCY'S [GAME NAME] thanks to irresponsible bundle purchases.
Steam | XBL
But I mean, you'd just play the Director's Cut which has it integrated, right?
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
And is the only way you can buy it on PC now. But not the point!
Steam | XBL
I remember this happening with the PC version of Origins at launch, too, but I was a younger, more foolish person back then and it took me a long time, including deleting and re-installing the game, to figure out what the problem was.
You know, until the bears show up.
But, you're asking, what is it? Well, it's a point-and-click adventure, where you go along with archaeologist Aliyah as she investigates the aforesaid Vault. What is it? Where is it? What does it do? Why has another investigation ended in a mysterious death? These are all questions floating through the narrative, and some of them are even answered. Maybe all of them are, and maybe I just didn't know it.
That's thanks to the central mechanic of Heaven's Vault - translations. As Aliyah walks through the vividly realised worlds, moving from shattered mausoleums to thriving markets on the back of interstellar rivers, she tends to run across ruins and artifacts. Examining these tends to yield up inscriptions, written in a language that no-one now speaks. Your first inscription may be simple - three symbols, with options provided for each one. You make your selections to gain a phrase, to gain a little more context in the world, to get a handle on the history, on the story of the places Aliyah finds herself. And the next inscription might include those same symbols, and now your guesses help make sense of a larger piece - or not. It took me quite a while to figure out that a particular glyph meant 'if', for example. And in the meantime, my other translations made less sense, and I gleaned fewer clues than I might have.
It's a fun mechanic, and the way it exposes you to the lore and the plot over time is really quite clever. If Lara Croft is the action archaeologist, blowing up every temple she comes across, Aliyah is the more cerebral - cautious, sarcastic, fiercely individual - and fascinated by the past, approaching every new inscription with enthusiasm and curiosity.
The world she inhabits is vividly, beautifully rendered. Scattered moons support scarce human populations - there are deserts, there are lush farming centres, there are dead wastelands. And between them all are interstellar rivers, on which you can sail to get from one world to another. How the system works, why it's there? Those are things you may be able to find out. But in the meantime, rest assured that it's beautiful, and a lot of fun to poke into the farthest corners of.
It's also a world absolutely stepped in history - layers and layers of it, as your inscription hunting will slowly uncover. There's been some dark parts of the past, and some poignant moments as well. You'll find them intertwined with lost technologies that no-one alive understands or can maintain, stories and secrets encircling the worlds and their rivers. There's so many stories out here, and the game evokes the sense of discovery and the wonder and fascination of it perfectly.
Also, the soundtrack. It's quietly compelling, and blends wonderfully with the environment. I'm not a big soundtrack person, but this one was pitch perfect.
There's a lot of reading here, not going to lie. A lot of it is in smart dialogue between Aliyah and companions, where your choice of options determines which dialogue tree you go down; I don't know if there's a way to hear all the dialogue in one playthrough, but I suspect not. What I did get to read was clever, interesting, and organically written.
Pacing-wise, this is self-driven; you can storm through the basic plot quite quickly, I suspect. But if you slow down, explore ruins, dig through ancient texts, poke around in corners - then you'll have a deeper, more emotionally and narratively fulfilliing experience.
Anyway. I'm about to start New Game Plus. But wanted to say that this is an amazing, rewarding, cleverly written adventure, and I advise everyone to give it a try.
(thanks @akajaybay for giving it to me in the first place!)
Goodreads
SF&F Reviews blog
Thank you @Karoz for CrossCode!
So you could say
8-)
Ive been training.
They never seem to run out of steam.
Steam | XBL
Farming, check. Bridgebuilding, check. Thatched roof cottages replacing fur huts, check.
Yeah this game has got its hooks in.
Steam early access (for the moment :P )
We gauge it just right.
Steam | XBL
I dunno, some of them feel a bit railroaded
Sometimes it boils over.
Steam | XBL
Steam Profile
3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
You're plumb loco.