730045: When escaping on a horse-drawn carriage in a 7th Sea campaign, the excuse for throwing boxes tied to ropes overboard cannot be "Anchors mean stop on the ocean, so they should on land, too."
craziest escape ever..
Dyrwen66 on
Just an ancient PA person who doesn't leave the house much.
These are awesome, I am laughing so hard. I'll throw in a few that are both applicable and have all happened to me when I was GMing.
-121. I am no longer allowed to be extremely drunk when roleplaying a delicate situation that will determine the fate of the party for several adventures.
12321321. I will not throw a box of fruit at a stormtrooper when I am trying to avoid arrest, am very heavily armed and am just the party's tech.
424242. I can no longer accidentally seal the cockpit windows with blast shields thus dooming the planned recurring villain to a horrid death.
891745606874136789186071069754760983^0. I am not allowed to kill the main villain at the start of the campaign by accidentally making him choke to death on his soup.
891745606874136789186071069754760983^0. I am not allowed to kill the main villain at the start of the campaign by accidentally making him choke to death on his soup.
1. is already taken
286188: To avoid disarmament, it is cheaper to buy a chain than twenty greatswords.
945581 - Trying to convince an NPC that the bag of devouring is an athletic supporter is not allowed.
Fixed.
Oh dear God.
I don't know why I didn't think of that.
It's got a certain charm, don't it? I like the thought of booby-trapping various NPC's with cursed items and watching the fun. This is why I would like to see a DnD video game with ragdoll physics and incorporate, say, Boots of Striding and Springing. Hearing something described to you via a gaming session is all well and good, but sometimes, you need the image.
GoslingLooking Up Soccer In Mongolia Right Now, ProbablyWatertown, WIRegistered Userregular
edited November 2006
4554338, section 2, paragraph 1, clause Attempting to defuse the final boss battle by giving the main villain a cookie will not work, and I am to stop attempting it.
Blue 42, Blue 42, Ready, Down, Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut: My battle cry may no longer involve applying anything directly to the forehead.
Channel 56745: There are only so many things I can headbutt before suffering an Intelligence penalty.
99.54% Pure: If my Shadowrun character is in a car chase, and successfully eludes the cops, I can no longer, as a gesture of victory, immediately drive to the police station and demand their ride.
Gosling on
I have a new soccer blog The Minnow Tank. Reading it psychically kicks Sepp Blatter in the bean bag.
KLAR: I am by no means allowed to have a mysterious pendant that is basically Ideon.
This is actually an idea I came up with in the shower. whenever you're in a situation with a DM you don't know anything about or has a bad reputation, give your character this pendant and don't tell anyone what it does. When the stupid hits overdrive say "I'm using the powers of my pendant" and roll a d20.
1: End of Universe. Everything is destroyed. No save.
2-6: Ideon Salvo. 5000 supercharged magic missiles cast in all directions. Radius: 30 Miles. Reflex save: DC 700
7-12: Black Hole Cannon. Ball of black shot out of pendant at light speed. No Save. Damage=instant obliteration.
13-19: Ideon Sword. Energy blades of infinite length are generated from hands. They have a +100 attack bonus and have a crit range of 2-20. They do 10D100 damage each. crits are 10x normal damage.
20: Ideon Gun. Massive beam of energy is generated from pendant and completely obliterates everything* in front of the user. effective range: Infinite. there is no god damned save.
*this means EVERYTHING. Stars, galaxies, Straud. EVERY GOD DAMNED THING IN FRONT OF THE PENDANT HOLDER IS DESTROYED.
This is a last resort used against DM Pets and other retardation. If the DM proves their competence, it will shatter automatically. Use of the Ideon Pendant automatically shifts your alignment to True Neutral.
Branigans Law: I will not cast 'Light' on a rock and try to sell it to stupid townsfolk as a "Magic Luck Rock", at least not in lands where use of magic is punishable by death.
Branigans Law: I will not cast 'Light' on a rock and try to sell it to stupid townsfolk as a "Magic Luck Rock", at least not in lands where use of magic is punishable by death.
I don't pretend to understand Branigan's Law, I just enforce it.
9493034592 - The party's rogue does not have an anus of holding.
8878394204 - One should never offer jerky made from any humanoid race to a potentially friendly NPC.
4632784495 - Dead halflings are for burying, not for flinging at high velocity with an improvised siege engine.
UndefinedMonkey on
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PiptheFairFrequently not in boats.Registered Userregular
See, you may not be able to do the things on Skippy's list in the Army, but in the Air Force, all questions must be answered with "in accordance to the prophecy." Especially if the questioner is a 2nd Lt.
See, you may not be able to do the things on Skippy's list in the Army, but in the Air Force, all questions must be answered with "in accordance to the prophecy." Especially if the questioner is a 2nd Lt.
Dude, that's the response for EVERY 2nd Lt. EVERYWHERE. They tend to be absolute morons about everything they say and hear and do.
I think the Forgotten Realms DM I play with on Fridays is going to start making a list of things I can't do with my druid, since my wonky spellcasting ideas screwed with his encounters a little too much.
Posts
craziest escape ever..
Ayliana Moonwhisper Ecksus Cerazal
Since Reynolds set the trend referencing Annie.
Yes. I didn't want to accidently pick a number already on the list.
1132756. Your responce to the government using your own cybernetic eyes to watch you assist a criminal cannot be, "Well, we just won't look at him!"
-121. I am no longer allowed to be extremely drunk when roleplaying a delicate situation that will determine the fate of the party for several adventures.
12321321. I will not throw a box of fruit at a stormtrooper when I am trying to avoid arrest, am very heavily armed and am just the party's tech.
424242. I can no longer accidentally seal the cockpit windows with blast shields thus dooming the planned recurring villain to a horrid death.
Yes, this applies directly to me. I enjoyed my explosives-happy D20 modern mage.
So much win right here.
Even if the rules allow it, you aren't cooking the Terrasque.
1. is already taken
286188: To avoid disarmament, it is cheaper to buy a chain than twenty greatswords.
945581 - Trying to convince an NPC that the bag of holding is an athletic supporter is not allowed.
Fixed.
Oh dear God.
I don't know why I didn't think of that.
It's got a certain charm, don't it? I like the thought of booby-trapping various NPC's with cursed items and watching the fun. This is why I would like to see a DnD video game with ragdoll physics and incorporate, say, Boots of Striding and Springing. Hearing something described to you via a gaming session is all well and good, but sometimes, you need the image.
Awesome on so many levels.
409. I will not cast darkness at the magic missile.
Even better.
515. I am not the Lord of Rodly Might.
Gods.
576. I can't use my sneak attack opportunity to cop a feel.
So doing that on the next female my rouge gets a sneak attack on.
588. Paladins are immune to STDs, but if I take advantage of this ability, I lose it. Wonderful paradox, isn't it?
Christ, this list is made of awesome and badass.
I actually can't wait til I see some sort of story that uses that now.
So much win.
Jordan of Elienor, Human Shaman
Blue 42, Blue 42, Ready, Down, Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut Hut: My battle cry may no longer involve applying anything directly to the forehead.
Channel 56745: There are only so many things I can headbutt before suffering an Intelligence penalty.
99.54% Pure: If my Shadowrun character is in a car chase, and successfully eludes the cops, I can no longer, as a gesture of victory, immediately drive to the police station and demand their ride.
Also, jdarksun, you are a gold factory today.
Planeswalker
Will of the Council - Starting with you, each player votes for death goblin.
This is actually an idea I came up with in the shower. whenever you're in a situation with a DM you don't know anything about or has a bad reputation, give your character this pendant and don't tell anyone what it does. When the stupid hits overdrive say "I'm using the powers of my pendant" and roll a d20.
1: End of Universe. Everything is destroyed. No save.
2-6: Ideon Salvo. 5000 supercharged magic missiles cast in all directions. Radius: 30 Miles. Reflex save: DC 700
7-12: Black Hole Cannon. Ball of black shot out of pendant at light speed. No Save. Damage=instant obliteration.
13-19: Ideon Sword. Energy blades of infinite length are generated from hands. They have a +100 attack bonus and have a crit range of 2-20. They do 10D100 damage each. crits are 10x normal damage.
20: Ideon Gun. Massive beam of energy is generated from pendant and completely obliterates everything* in front of the user. effective range: Infinite. there is no god damned save.
*this means EVERYTHING. Stars, galaxies, Straud. EVERY GOD DAMNED THING IN FRONT OF THE PENDANT HOLDER IS DESTROYED.
This is a last resort used against DM Pets and other retardation. If the DM proves their competence, it will shatter automatically. Use of the Ideon Pendant automatically shifts your alignment to True Neutral.
I don't pretend to understand Branigan's Law, I just enforce it.
Actually, I recall a survival horror setting out on the internet where this was an applicable flaw.
So we can show him our appreciation.
www.skippyslist.com
Wait, now I'm confused; is that from Skippy's or Mr Welch's? :P
Yeah, Skippy's list is full of awesome too, as are the various superhero and super-villain lists...
Nintendo Network ID: AzraelRose
DropBox invite link - get 500MB extra free.
I just re-read that one as well. ^.^
I wonder if we could commission Gabe to draw any of these.
8878394204 - One should never offer jerky made from any humanoid race to a potentially friendly NPC.
4632784495 - Dead halflings are for burying, not for flinging at high velocity with an improvised siege engine.
INACCURATE STATEMENT
One stop shop for EVERYTHING.
Dude, that's the response for EVERY 2nd Lt. EVERYWHERE. They tend to be absolute morons about everything they say and hear and do.