Bleh. Kiddo is teething bad today, and we got a message from daycare on the app that she's inconsolable and running a slight fever. We don't normally stop in on lunch so we don't confuse her, but the daycare won't administer tylenol so okay, we stop in to get it to her personally.
She's fine, taking a bottle in a high chair, and they've combined infant 1 and infant 2 in one room (we're 4:1), and the useless relief instructor from one of the toddler classes is just kind of bumbling over paperwork at the front of the room while 4 of the kids wails and the other instructor is trying to corral everyone. Kiddo is, naturally, upset to see us and we have to leave so soon.
Ffs guys. *pinches brow*
Well that fills me with dread. Currently on 5 waiting lists for daycare.
We’ve got a decent routine at the moment, but I go back to work in a week and a half. Wife is off for another month to two months after that, but not looking forward to either transition.
Currently though I’m debating how long I can let her sit in a poopy diaper before I am a bad parent. After several hours of eating and then cuddling, she just finally calmed enough to put down, and then immediately pooped. Time to start all over I guess.
I've picked her up and we're all on the way home together now and she's fast asleep in the car
Honestly day care is by and large 10/10 great, minus the occasional spat
Especially when you burn a day of PTO and go home to fix things or just have some chill time
Some days Blue wonders why anyone ever bothered making numbers so small; other days she supposes even infinity needs to start somewhere.
Never ever feel bad about leaving your kid in day care so you can have a day off.
Adult time is super important, because when you're a parent, every minute that isn't adult time is kid time by default.
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
I know she's 4, but I have a real hard time understanding my kid sometimes. Our lizard died today. No idea what happened, the wife found her in the tank dead. It's not the first pet that's died, but our daughter was so back and forth on it. Like really upset one second, and laughing and playing the next.
I'm glad she's not crushed, of course, she's just hard to read.
Never ever feel bad about leaving your kid in day care so you can have a day off.
Adult time is super important, because when you're a parent, every minute that isn't adult time is kid time by default.
This x100. My parents were kind of assholes when they found out my wife sometimes has weekdays off and we still send the kid in, but fuck them, they haven't offered to come to our house to help once in two years. Wife works about 60% of weekends, so if she ever wants to get something done that a toddler makes difficult its gotta be on those day off daycare days.
Also, I'll be honest, in the ~18mo we've been using daycare, I've only gotten one or two days off work where daycare was open and the kid didnt magically get sick, and... it was glorious. 8 hours to myself, on a weekday, not worried that I dumped the kid on the wife solo, still get to hang out with the kid in the afternoon? Shoot that directly into my veins.
I have a 2 week old. First kid. Struggling with the feedings at the moment. I swear to god we have heard 10 different rules about when and how often to feed her.
And I’m not even talking about the internet. Just midwifes, doctors, lactation consultants, nurses, etc. Everyone seemingly had a different opinion.
I mean come on. You all work at the same hospital. Get your shit together and settle on one recommendation.
Your kid has one way to communicate, crying. That's it. If the kid is crying it's because they are hungry, tired, cold, or dirty and needs a diaper changed.
So offer food then address everything else, if they are still crying it's because they want a snuggle or maybe have gas so bounce away.
They will feed when hungry just don't force anything on them.
That’s what I thought before we had the kid. But a lot of the hospital staff stressed that for the first several weeks (months?) that they need to be woken up every 1-6 hrs (depending on who you talk to). The idea being that if they are not getting enough food they can become lethargic. So it seems like they just sleep for long stretches, but really they are starving. But maybe that’s just CYA on the hospitals part.
Edit - we are two weeks in though and pretty close to pulling the plug in waking up. One night we slept through alarms and she slept for 5 hrs. So maybe you’re right and we should just let things happen.
I've got a 10 month old
If yours is feeding well during waking hours then let them sleep, for their sake and yours :biggrin:
SummaryJudgment, I’m curious if you guys are using/following any kind of developmental programs or guidelines for education/mental growth.
I never really considered it before, but I read somewhere that like the pre-K time period is fairly important in terms of developing good learning habits. Like kids who go to pre-school tend to have better education outcomes than kids who start at kindergarten.
But what about 0-2 years? Any good guides on important activities? Or is it basically just make sure they don’t die.
I started my kid in ECFE (early childhood & family education) at 6 months old. It is put on by the city I live in in conjunction with the school district.
I don't think he got anything out of itearning wise between 6 months and a year, but I certainly did. And it was probably good for him regardless.
Then after a year and 6 months we switched to a partial separation class. Halfway through the class the adults go to another room to learn parenting techniques from the parent teachers while the kids get left with some child teachers.
That has really been excellent for both of us.
It is once a week. Taught me a lot, taught him a lot, and gave me something to do every week, which can be just as important when you are taking care of a kid. Days with something on the schedule are almost always easier.
and I wonder about my neighbors even though I don't have them
but they're listening to every word I say
So, my 5 year old daughter is playing this now. (read: Daddy is playing it while daughter directs him, only occasionally taking the controls, only to give them back when something "scary" happens).
I'm basically living the gamer daddy dream right now.
I'm gonna go on a bit here, so I'll spoiler my experience in two parts
Part one, Background and Lead up:
Mini-Dead had already expressed a minor interest in gaming via osmosis. She was somewhat interested in Super Mario Odyssey and Mario Kart 8, and had passively watched me play Monster Hunter World, but never enough to actually get directly involved.
I had originally bought Let's Go Pickachu for Mini-Dead as she had develloped an interest in Pokemon via YouTube and Netflix, which she played a bit, but would get bored with, especially in the parts featuring a lot of trainer battles in a row.
The lynchpin happened when we got to the part in Pokemon when we encounter the sleeping Snorlax. As many of you will know, the only way to get past the sleeping Snorlax is to first obtain the flute from Mr. Fuji inside the Pokemon Tower. Mini-dead, however, thought the pokemon tower was scary, and didn't want to go back, so she desperatly tried a bunch of different ways to get past the sleeping Snorlax.
These included:
1 - Ramming into him (running down to the other end of Saffron(?) City on her Arcanine and then running back towards Snorlax at full speed - nope
2 - Squeezing Past him - nope
3 - Climbing Him - nope
3(b) - Climbing the fences around him - nope
Nothing works! Frustrated, Mini-Dead asked me why the game wouldn't let her do these these things, which were (rightly) seemed to be perfectly reasonable solutions to her mind.
My answer to her was "Well, some games only give you one way to solve certain puzzles"
Her response to this: "Oh, well are there games that do let you solve puzzles in different ways?"
Me: *Lightbulb* "Why yes my dear, yes there are!"
So off I go to re-download BotW that I had deleted to make space some time ago
Part two, experience:
As I mentionned in my intro, our sessions basically involve me playing while Mini-Dead directs my movements and action while sitting on my lap in my La-Z-Boy. Once in a while, she'll ask for the Joycons to try something herself, but it doesn't take long before a monster or challenging platforming section comes up, at which point she'll hand them back off to me.
Little by little, however, she's learning the controls and mechanics, and asks to take the controls more and more often.
Basically, all I do is act like Alfredo in Ratatouille while Mini-Dead tells me what to do. I may offer suggestions or point out points of interest on occasion, but that's about it.
A few cute observations:
At first, monsters of Bokoblin strength and above were frightening, and were to be avoided at all costs.
Chuchus, Keese and skeletons were basically unavoidable at night, but daddy showed here that these things were pretty easy to take down, and were a source of useful resources. That said, Mini-dead soon caught on that Keese and skeletons only appear at night, and once she learned about resting at campfires, and how to build campfires, it became a hard rule that when night falls, we find (or build) a campfire and we wait until morning.
Eventually, I tried to instill in her that, if Link is to become the hero that will save Zelda, we're going to have to learn to be brave. If we can't beat up Bokoblins, then how will we ever become strong enough to beat Ganon?
This actually led to a brief sabbatical of the game, which I thought might actually be the end of our sessions! Then, this conversation happened:
Mini-Dead: "Daddy, Ganon is too scary, we can't beat him"
Me: "Oh I see. Do you think that maybe if we train Link and get him to become stronger we'll be able to do it"
MD: "No, he's too strong"
Me: "Ok sweetheart, I guess Zelda will just have to stay trapped in the castle forever then"
MD: "No, someone will save her!"
Me: "But no one's been able to save her for 100 years! The whole reason she put Link to sleep in that bathtub is because she was hoping he would wake up and become the hero she needs to save her! But if you say Ganon's too strong, then I guess there's nothing we can do."
MD: "But I don't know how!"
Me: "Remember what the King said, at the Temple? He said there might be someone called Impa who can help us? Maybe we can go see her?"
MD: "Ok daddy, let's play!"
As of this writing, we have saved the Zora, which required killing a part of Ganon inside of a giant robot elephant and taking control of said elephant, who is now shooting a big laser at Ganon. Also, after we went looking for Hestu in the Korok Forest (because we had collected a whole bunch of Korok Seeds, you see), we made our way through the VERY SCARY Lost Woods, we found the (DUN DUN DUUUN!) MASTER SWORD!
Now that Mini-Dead knows that Link has friends that will help him, and that we know where the Master Sword is, she has become super-determined to FIND ALL THE SHRINES so that Link can get strong enough to pull the sword out of the ground!
Once we get that Master Sword, Ganon better WATCH OUT!
Takeaway:
The game has been a HUGE boon to my and Mini-Dead's relationship. Questions and converstations that have come up naturally over the course of our play sessions included:
- What is a Goddess?
- Lesson: small conversation on religion, mythology, and faith
- If we put the ball on that end of the platform, the other end will go up
- Lesson: Physics 101, including Newton's second law
- That monster is too scary! to Ok daddy, we can beat up that monster!
- Lesson: Bravery and learning to control the fear response
- Me: "Ok sweetie, that man said to go North, which way is that?"
- Lesson: Basic navigation and learning the cardinal directions
- Her: "Daddy, what's a quest?"
- Me: "It's what we call helping people in games like this"
- Lesson: Value of hard work and helping people, including the concept of compensation for good work
And so on and so on
Anyways, just wanted to end by saying that this experience so far has been amazing, and yet another example, in my life, of the rewarding and enriching experience that only Video Games can offer.
My three year old wanted to try some Mario Odyssey after seeing me play it.
Turned on assist mode, and started a new game with him while I played as the hat. he was learning pretty well how to run around, and the second player hat can do some of the jumping and all of the fighting.
Got past the tutorial area, and into the first real level. We're both having a great time, then we hit the part where you take over a T-Rex... And that's all he wanted to do forever. So he kept running back to the T-Rex and grabbing it over and over until it was bed time.
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Jebus314 on
"The world is a mess, and I just need to rule it" - Dr Horrible
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Babies? Like a minute or so, and then, walk to them slowly and see if they can figure out for themselves whats wrong on the way. Respond, but without any urgency. If the baby is crying, it's fine. It might need your help with something, but babies don't need anything that they will cry about getting quickly.
My three year old wanted to try some Mario Odyssey after seeing me play it.
Turned on assist mode, and started a new game with him while I played as the hat. he was learning pretty well how to run around, and the second player hat can do some of the jumping and all of the fighting.
Got past the tutorial area, and into the first real level. We're both having a great time, then we hit the part where you take over a T-Rex... And that's all he wanted to do forever. So he kept running back to the T-Rex and grabbing it over and over until it was bed time.
Oh well.
I mean
He's not wrong
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Yeah I'd say it depends on the age of the kid.
if they're crying, they can breathe.
It also depends on the cry, which some people have a hard time telling apart and some people don't.
I'd say, if you can tell that they're not in dire danger/straits, then finish at least the dish. if they're mobile, maybe call out and let them know that you're there and will be there soon. If they're verbal, ask them what's wrong.
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Yeah I'd say it depends on the age of the kid.
if they're crying, they can breathe.
It also depends on the cry, which some people have a hard time telling apart and some people don't.
I'd say, if you can tell that they're not in dire danger/straits, then finish at least the dish. if they're mobile, maybe call out and let them know that you're there and will be there soon. If they're verbal, ask them what's wrong.
Yeah that's one thing I've definitely learned with my god-daughter.
There is a very noticeable difference between crying because pay attention to me god damnit/I'm tired and crying because Something Is Wrong.
The latter is less a cry and more of a gutteral shriek.
Like the difference between a machine gun and the nose gun of an A-10.
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Adding to what others have said, it's also worth remembering that our concept of how much time is passing slows down dramatically when we hear a baby crying - there are studies that show people overestimate the length of time by a factor of 5 or so. So even if you think the baby's been crying for a minute, it's probably been a lot less than that.
We did controlled crying with our twins (we had to, otherwise you end up with at least one baby awake most of the time, and that's just crazy) and the minute-long wait with two babies crying is... almost unbearable.
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
We have carpenter bees in our house. I know because one got angry and stung my daughter twice in the arm then flew in her fucking shirt and stung her again. So screaming from her, a shower and some lemonade and things start getting better. This happened Monday.
Last night she woke up at 130 screaming about bugs crawling on her and stinging her. She was up until 4 crying and could still "feel" the bugs.
How long do people normally let a baby cry if they are in the middle of something? Like the kid is down for a nap, you’re doing some dishes and you here them start to cry continuously. Stop immediately and put down a half washed dish? Finish that one dish? Finish all of them?
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
When my daughter was less than 6 months old? We'd finish the dish or w/e (no need to literally drop everything and run), and head over. When they are that little, they are crying because its pretty much their only way to communicate, and we wanted to make sure she knew we were there for her. Now days, Sapling is almost 2, and it really depends on how/why she is crying.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
We have carpenter bees in our house. I know because one got angry and stung my daughter twice in the arm then flew in her fucking shirt and stung her again. So screaming from her, a shower and some lemonade and things start getting better. This happened Monday.
Last night she woke up at 130 screaming about bugs crawling on her and stinging her. She was up until 4 crying and could still "feel" the bugs.
Fuck every bee except honey and bumble bees.
Do carpenter bees even have stingers?
Everything I've read on them says it's basically impossible to be stung by one.
I'm gonna say this is a hornet false flag operation.
RedTide#1907 on Battle.net
Come Overwatch with meeeee
When we had Eleanor last year Henry was 4 1/2, so we got ready for the inevitable "Where do babies come from?" talk. Bought some books and had a gameplan. But it never came. He was totally interested in the pregnancy and having a sister, but not a hint of curiosity about how it all happened.
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
Listen, fuck hornets. 100% hornets can die in a fire right next to wasps and yellow jackets. But this was yellow, black, and fuzzy. I thought it was a bumble bee at first and was very confused, but looking it up it was definitely a carpenter bee.
In related news, the wife took an empty bottle, filled it with water, and wrote "Bee-Gone" on it. They sprayed her room together so she wouldn't be afraid of bees tonight. So far so good.
Day three of sleep training the six month old and boy howdy am I looking forward to the results of this.
She's always been a lousy sleeper what with the feeding through the night and explosive growth. 21 lbs 10oz & 28.5in at her six month appointment today which for a breastfed kid is well north of the 99 percentile line.
RedTide#1907 on Battle.net
Come Overwatch with meeeee
When we had Eleanor last year Henry was 4 1/2, so we got ready for the inevitable "Where do babies come from?" talk. Bought some books and had a gameplan. But it never came. He was totally interested in the pregnancy and having a sister, but not a hint of curiosity about how it all happened.
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
Our 4yo and the twins are all IVF (ICSI, technically) so we bought a book that explained the process pretty well. We've taken them to see the lab where they were all created (which is in the same place as the city's life science museum, so it's more of a fun trip out than it sounds). The older one knows they were all made at the same time and then frozen, which leads to fun discussions with other adults when she tries to explain it to them.
"I was in the freezer for a little bit, but the twins were in there without me for a long time. Then a scientist put them in mummy's tummy. So they're the same age as me but I'm older than them."
A note was sent home from the nursery teacher asking us to explain what the hell our child was talking about.
We have carpenter bees in our house. I know because one got angry and stung my daughter twice in the arm then flew in her fucking shirt and stung her again. So screaming from her, a shower and some lemonade and things start getting better. This happened Monday.
Last night she woke up at 130 screaming about bugs crawling on her and stinging her. She was up until 4 crying and could still "feel" the bugs.
Fuck every bee except honey and bumble bees.
Do carpenter bees even have stingers?
Everything I've read on them says it's basically impossible to be stung by one.
I'm gonna say this is a hornet false flag operation.
They will sting eventually, but they really don't want to. Little kids can miss the point of the "hey I just flew at your face so leave" signal, though.
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BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
When we had Eleanor last year Henry was 4 1/2, so we got ready for the inevitable "Where do babies come from?" talk. Bought some books and had a gameplan. But it never came. He was totally interested in the pregnancy and having a sister, but not a hint of curiosity about how it all happened.
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
"Trust me kid, I figured that part out. At least twice."
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
When we had Eleanor last year Henry was 4 1/2, so we got ready for the inevitable "Where do babies come from?" talk. Bought some books and had a gameplan. But it never came. He was totally interested in the pregnancy and having a sister, but not a hint of curiosity about how it all happened.
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
Our 4yo and the twins are all IVF (ICSI, technically) so we bought a book that explained the process pretty well. We've taken them to see the lab where they were all created (which is in the same place as the city's life science museum, so it's more of a fun trip out than it sounds). The older one knows they were all made at the same time and then frozen, which leads to fun discussions with other adults when she tries to explain it to them.
"I was in the freezer for a little bit, but the twins were in there without me for a long time. Then a scientist put them in mummy's tummy. So they're the same age as me but I'm older than them."
A note was sent home from the nursery teacher asking us to explain what the hell our child was talking about.
What book is that? Our daughter was born with donor sperm and I'd love to have a simple book that talks about this stuff.
When we had Eleanor last year Henry was 4 1/2, so we got ready for the inevitable "Where do babies come from?" talk. Bought some books and had a gameplan. But it never came. He was totally interested in the pregnancy and having a sister, but not a hint of curiosity about how it all happened.
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
Our 4yo and the twins are all IVF (ICSI, technically) so we bought a book that explained the process pretty well. We've taken them to see the lab where they were all created (which is in the same place as the city's life science museum, so it's more of a fun trip out than it sounds). The older one knows they were all made at the same time and then frozen, which leads to fun discussions with other adults when she tries to explain it to them.
"I was in the freezer for a little bit, but the twins were in there without me for a long time. Then a scientist put them in mummy's tummy. So they're the same age as me but I'm older than them."
A note was sent home from the nursery teacher asking us to explain what the hell our child was talking about.
What book is that? Our daughter was born with donor sperm and I'd love to have a simple book that talks about this stuff.
There seem to be loads available on Amazon now, which wasn’t the case when we looked a few years ago. There are definitely ones specific to different situations, so you should be able to find a donor sperm one.
My youngest is at around 9 months now? And I have to say that I love this stage. Everything beyond newborn until they turn into little shits (3+) is great! Every time she notices me she gets a gigantic smile on her little face and all my stress and anxiety just melts away.
But in reality 3 kids has really done a number on my wife and I. We're supposed to be training for a half marathon in September and we just can't find the time. We're both just walking zombies at this point. Between the oldest (6) and the middle child (4) nitpicking each other and their tantrums it's been a hell of a year.
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Gabriel_Pitt(effective against Russian warships)Registered Userregular
edited July 2019
That kind of is the worst time - they've gone from naescent emerging intelligences to developing egos and need for defining self, but are still young enough that they need the engagment and attention of parents all the damn time.
*edit*(I probably shoulda thrown some emotes in there to soften that up a little. The tone was meant along the lines of exasperated affection).
Gabriel_Pitt on
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Sir Landsharkresting shark faceRegistered Userregular
My youngest is at around 9 months now? And I have to say that I love this stage. Everything beyond newborn until they turn into little shits (3+) is great! Every time she notices me she gets a gigantic smile on her little face and all my stress and anxiety just melts away.
But in reality 3 kids has really done a number on my wife and I. We're supposed to be training for a half marathon in September and we just can't find the time. We're both just walking zombies at this point. Between the oldest (6) and the middle child (4) nitpicking each other and their tantrums it's been a hell of a year.
We're a few years ahead of you with 3 kids. Once the youngest hits 3/4 (depending on the kiddo) it gets a lot better. Just the other day we were over at the neighbors, drinking and hanging out while our kids played with theirs until like 11pm (way past the normal kiddo summer bedtime of 8pm but hey, it's summer). Hang in there!
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Mine are 8 and 10, and they seriously need more time apart. They are also exhausted because they're so busy all Summer. So every morning, they fight like Goddamn cats. They're both girls and the older one is starting to get hormones. Thus, you can tell her that she has a wrinkle on her shirt and now the world is on fire.
It gets a little better from when they were basically suicidal drunks (i.e. toddlers), but really it just changes.
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SummaryJudgmentGrab the hottest iron you can find, stride in the Tower’s front doorRegistered Userregular
edited July 2019
Coworker just revealed she's having a third child, and I'm kind of reflecting on that...
While there are instants of joy, my wife and I aren't happy on the whole, and we're going to call it at 1. Before my first was born I figured I wanted to have two - I've got a brother, so that was my frame of reference - but honestly we're more surviving than enjoying the experience. She'll have a cousin that's the same age, and a lot of similar-aged kids in her neighborhood cohort whose parents we're already close to, and that'll be that.
I'm hoping the experience will become more rewarding as she ages - I had kind of figured going in that would be the case, because babies do nothing for me and I'm more excited about mentoring skills and such that need at least 2 or 3 years in, and then a lifetime after that. The "don't wish away this time" crowd feels like exactly what I'm doing right now.
SummaryJudgment on
Some days Blue wonders why anyone ever bothered making numbers so small; other days she supposes even infinity needs to start somewhere.
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
Coworker just revealed she's having a third child, and I'm kind of reflecting on that...
While there are instants of joy, my wife and I aren't happy on the whole, and we're going to call it at 1. Before my first was born I figured I wanted to have two - I've got a brother, so that was my frame of reference - but honestly we're more surviving than enjoying the experience. She'll have a cousin that's the same age, and a lot of similar-aged kids in her neighborhood cohort whose parents we're already close to, and that'll be that.
I'm hoping the experience will become more rewarding as she ages - I had kind of figured going in that would be the case, because babies do nothing for me and I'm more excited about mentoring skills and such that need at least 2 or 3 years in, and then a lifetime after that. The "don't wish away this time" crowd feels like exactly what I'm doing right now.
We wanted two but we were forced into one. When I found out I was infertile it was hard, and between having to deal with donor sperm and insemination, and then her heart surgery on top of that, it's just not in the cards. I grew up an only child and I'm ok?
Parenting is hard and no one here will shittalk you for wishing that your kiddo was older so you can reason with them, converse, enjoy pop culture, or whatever else. Going from infant to terrible twos to threenager to fourrible is not easy in any way. Find the little joys, and weather the rest as best you can.
It's an uncomfortable truth that all the objective studies on the subject show that parents are less happy than non-parents. But biology talks us into doing it anyway.
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SummaryJudgmentGrab the hottest iron you can find, stride in the Tower’s front doorRegistered Userregular
It's an uncomfortable truth that all the objective studies on the subject show that parents are less happy than non-parents. But biology talks us into doing it anyway.
I'd say I'd like to see those studies - I'm curious about whether they controlled for SES as a proxy for being able to care for the child without economic stress, availability of time off of work, whether the study was USA only or international, availability of extended family, etc
But I don't think I'd care to, considering this drive-by
SummaryJudgment on
Some days Blue wonders why anyone ever bothered making numbers so small; other days she supposes even infinity needs to start somewhere.
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Gabriel_Pitt(effective against Russian warships)Registered Userregular
Parenting is hard and no one here will shittalk you for wishing that your kiddo was older so you can reason with them, converse, enjoy pop culture, or whatever else. Going from infant to terrible twos to threenager to fourrible is not easy in any way. Find the little joys, and weather the rest as best you can.
Both the parents and the kids themselves are going to be a big factor into just how many you're willing/able to handle, and you don't know exactly how that is going to shake out until you're actually changing the diapers on one. For some people, despite what they thought beforehand, that number stops at 1.
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I've picked her up and we're all on the way home together now and she's fast asleep in the car
Honestly day care is by and large 10/10 great, minus the occasional spat
Especially when you burn a day of PTO and go home to fix things or just have some chill time
Adult time is super important, because when you're a parent, every minute that isn't adult time is kid time by default.
I'm glad she's not crushed, of course, she's just hard to read.
Heh, I was working from home today and decided to finish watching the world cup match before heading out to pick up babby from daycare.
How did that happen.
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It's killing me.
This x100. My parents were kind of assholes when they found out my wife sometimes has weekdays off and we still send the kid in, but fuck them, they haven't offered to come to our house to help once in two years. Wife works about 60% of weekends, so if she ever wants to get something done that a toddler makes difficult its gotta be on those day off daycare days.
Also, I'll be honest, in the ~18mo we've been using daycare, I've only gotten one or two days off work where daycare was open and the kid didnt magically get sick, and... it was glorious. 8 hours to myself, on a weekday, not worried that I dumped the kid on the wife solo, still get to hang out with the kid in the afternoon? Shoot that directly into my veins.
@Jebus314
I started my kid in ECFE (early childhood & family education) at 6 months old. It is put on by the city I live in in conjunction with the school district.
I don't think he got anything out of itearning wise between 6 months and a year, but I certainly did. And it was probably good for him regardless.
Then after a year and 6 months we switched to a partial separation class. Halfway through the class the adults go to another room to learn parenting techniques from the parent teachers while the kids get left with some child teachers.
That has really been excellent for both of us.
It is once a week. Taught me a lot, taught him a lot, and gave me something to do every week, which can be just as important when you are taking care of a kid. Days with something on the schedule are almost always easier.
but they're listening to every word I say
My three year old wanted to try some Mario Odyssey after seeing me play it.
Turned on assist mode, and started a new game with him while I played as the hat. he was learning pretty well how to run around, and the second player hat can do some of the jumping and all of the fighting.
Got past the tutorial area, and into the first real level. We're both having a great time, then we hit the part where you take over a T-Rex... And that's all he wanted to do forever. So he kept running back to the T-Rex and grabbing it over and over until it was bed time.
Oh well.
The dishes part doesn’t really matter, I’m just trying to gauge what a reasonable amount of time is.
Crying really gets to me, so I will stop imediately for basically anything that isn’t going to cause damage/injury. But at the same time I know, that no matter what you do they will cry sometimes, and sometimes it makes a lot of sense to finish something before committing to baby things for the next 10-60 minutes. I dunno.
Babies? Like a minute or so, and then, walk to them slowly and see if they can figure out for themselves whats wrong on the way. Respond, but without any urgency. If the baby is crying, it's fine. It might need your help with something, but babies don't need anything that they will cry about getting quickly.
I mean
He's not wrong
Yeah I'd say it depends on the age of the kid.
if they're crying, they can breathe.
It also depends on the cry, which some people have a hard time telling apart and some people don't.
I'd say, if you can tell that they're not in dire danger/straits, then finish at least the dish. if they're mobile, maybe call out and let them know that you're there and will be there soon. If they're verbal, ask them what's wrong.
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Yeah that's one thing I've definitely learned with my god-daughter.
There is a very noticeable difference between crying because pay attention to me god damnit/I'm tired and crying because Something Is Wrong.
The latter is less a cry and more of a gutteral shriek.
Like the difference between a machine gun and the nose gun of an A-10.
Adding to what others have said, it's also worth remembering that our concept of how much time is passing slows down dramatically when we hear a baby crying - there are studies that show people overestimate the length of time by a factor of 5 or so. So even if you think the baby's been crying for a minute, it's probably been a lot less than that.
We did controlled crying with our twins (we had to, otherwise you end up with at least one baby awake most of the time, and that's just crazy) and the minute-long wait with two babies crying is... almost unbearable.
Last night she woke up at 130 screaming about bugs crawling on her and stinging her. She was up until 4 crying and could still "feel" the bugs.
Fuck every bee except honey and bumble bees.
When my daughter was less than 6 months old? We'd finish the dish or w/e (no need to literally drop everything and run), and head over. When they are that little, they are crying because its pretty much their only way to communicate, and we wanted to make sure she knew we were there for her. Now days, Sapling is almost 2, and it really depends on how/why she is crying.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Nope, never could.
WoW
Dear Satan.....
Do carpenter bees even have stingers?
Everything I've read on them says it's basically impossible to be stung by one.
I'm gonna say this is a hornet false flag operation.
Come Overwatch with meeeee
Until this past Monday.
I picked him up from daycare, and while we were driving home he goes "That's the place I went with grandma! Without Eleanor though." And I say yeah, she wasn't alive yet. And he says "No, she wasn't born." I say, that's the same thing, she wasn't alive yet because she wasn't born. beat "Daddy, where did Eleanor come from?"
I absolutely dodged it. Told him mommy had a book about it, why not ask her to read it at bedtime. Which he does, and I get a death glare from my wife but no baby book reading for me. I'm sitting in the office listening to her reading it to him when suddenly Henry exclaims "THE PENIS GOES IN WHERE?!?!?" and comes running out to tell me all about where the penis goes. Yep, definitely familiar with that part kiddo.
In related news, the wife took an empty bottle, filled it with water, and wrote "Bee-Gone" on it. They sprayed her room together so she wouldn't be afraid of bees tonight. So far so good.
She's always been a lousy sleeper what with the feeding through the night and explosive growth. 21 lbs 10oz & 28.5in at her six month appointment today which for a breastfed kid is well north of the 99 percentile line.
Come Overwatch with meeeee
Our 4yo and the twins are all IVF (ICSI, technically) so we bought a book that explained the process pretty well. We've taken them to see the lab where they were all created (which is in the same place as the city's life science museum, so it's more of a fun trip out than it sounds). The older one knows they were all made at the same time and then frozen, which leads to fun discussions with other adults when she tries to explain it to them.
"I was in the freezer for a little bit, but the twins were in there without me for a long time. Then a scientist put them in mummy's tummy. So they're the same age as me but I'm older than them."
A note was sent home from the nursery teacher asking us to explain what the hell our child was talking about.
They will sting eventually, but they really don't want to. Little kids can miss the point of the "hey I just flew at your face so leave" signal, though.
"Trust me kid, I figured that part out. At least twice."
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
What book is that? Our daughter was born with donor sperm and I'd love to have a simple book that talks about this stuff.
We got this one: https://www.explainingconception.com.au/ (had to order from Aus to UK, because we couldn’t find anything else)
There seem to be loads available on Amazon now, which wasn’t the case when we looked a few years ago. There are definitely ones specific to different situations, so you should be able to find a donor sperm one.
But in reality 3 kids has really done a number on my wife and I. We're supposed to be training for a half marathon in September and we just can't find the time. We're both just walking zombies at this point. Between the oldest (6) and the middle child (4) nitpicking each other and their tantrums it's been a hell of a year.
*edit*(I probably shoulda thrown some emotes in there to soften that up a little. The tone was meant along the lines of exasperated affection).
We're a few years ahead of you with 3 kids. Once the youngest hits 3/4 (depending on the kiddo) it gets a lot better. Just the other day we were over at the neighbors, drinking and hanging out while our kids played with theirs until like 11pm (way past the normal kiddo summer bedtime of 8pm but hey, it's summer). Hang in there!
It gets a little better from when they were basically suicidal drunks (i.e. toddlers), but really it just changes.
While there are instants of joy, my wife and I aren't happy on the whole, and we're going to call it at 1. Before my first was born I figured I wanted to have two - I've got a brother, so that was my frame of reference - but honestly we're more surviving than enjoying the experience. She'll have a cousin that's the same age, and a lot of similar-aged kids in her neighborhood cohort whose parents we're already close to, and that'll be that.
I'm hoping the experience will become more rewarding as she ages - I had kind of figured going in that would be the case, because babies do nothing for me and I'm more excited about mentoring skills and such that need at least 2 or 3 years in, and then a lifetime after that. The "don't wish away this time" crowd feels like exactly what I'm doing right now.
We wanted two but we were forced into one. When I found out I was infertile it was hard, and between having to deal with donor sperm and insemination, and then her heart surgery on top of that, it's just not in the cards. I grew up an only child and I'm ok?
Parenting is hard and no one here will shittalk you for wishing that your kiddo was older so you can reason with them, converse, enjoy pop culture, or whatever else. Going from infant to terrible twos to threenager to fourrible is not easy in any way. Find the little joys, and weather the rest as best you can.
I'd say I'd like to see those studies - I'm curious about whether they controlled for SES as a proxy for being able to care for the child without economic stress, availability of time off of work, whether the study was USA only or international, availability of extended family, etc
But I don't think I'd care to, considering this drive-by
Both the parents and the kids themselves are going to be a big factor into just how many you're willing/able to handle, and you don't know exactly how that is going to shake out until you're actually changing the diapers on one. For some people, despite what they thought beforehand, that number stops at 1.