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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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Posts

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Jedoc wrote: »
    What's the difference between a librarian and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.
    :(

    Is this a pay joke or a "no meat on the bones" joke?

    Capt Howdy on
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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Everyone is just going with the current flow. What a shocker.
    Jedoc wrote: »
    What's the difference between a librarian and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.
    :(

    Is this a pay joke or a "no meat on the bones" joke?

    Every other time I've seen a joke in this style, it's been a pay joke.
    But, I don't know what a librarian makes, so I can't say for certain.

    Taking it in a cannibalism direction would be a new way to go though.

  • Capt HowdyCapt Howdy Registered User regular
    I don't diet shame, see317.

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  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    What's the difference between a librarian and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.
    :(

    Is this a pay joke or a "no meat on the bones" joke?

    Pay joke. It's funny because you need a master's degree to get paid like a teacher.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    edited June 2019
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Capt Howdy wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    What's the difference between a librarian and a large pizza?
    A large pizza can feed a family of four.
    :(

    Is this a pay joke or a "no meat on the bones" joke?

    Pay joke. It's funny because you need a master's degree to get paid like a teacher.

    To be fair not all Librarian jobs pay like that. My wife is a Librarian and works for the government and has Library friends in the UN, in Universities and working for private business, and they all seem to do a lot better than a teacher would with their masters degrees.

    Oh crap this is the joke thread you say?

    Uhhh


    El Skid on
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    We were watching Civil War for the first time and when Cap gets his kiss I joked, “It’s about time. I’m sure he’s got red, white, and blue balls.” My wife tried to act like she hated the joke while she giggled like an idiot.

  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    edited June 2019
    That’s America’s brass.

    I shared this in DnD, but my daughter made a Marvel pun the other day that got a good laugh out of me. On one of her Roblox games, she made a dog and named him Thanos. Why?

    Because he yaps at half the universe!

    Mild Confusion on
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  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    What did the Guardians of the Galaxy say after retiling their bathroom?

    I am grout!

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  • pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    I get it!

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  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    This is a true story that happened earlier today, and I'm v. pleased with myself.

    My best friend told me he was going to the Fiat dealer this week.

    I responded, after my own preemptive laughter delayed me, "Would you like me to come with you? As your Fiat accomplice?"

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

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  • knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Make sure he brings enough currency

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
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  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Okay so there's an ad (old-school radio style ad, the person doing the video talks up the sponsor), but this video is perfect for these boards
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT4tUuWRW_k

    It even has subtitles for the musically disinclined.

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  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    What does Tali'Zorah nar Rayya use to play polkas?
    A quardion

    BLM - ACAB
  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    I believe you mean Tali'Zorah vas Normandy.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    1E8cNE6.jpg

  • Typhoid MannyTyphoid Manny Registered User regular
    if bob marley had a favorite font, it was probably Sans Sheriff

    from each according to his ability, to each according to his need
    hitting hot metal with hammers
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    if bob marley had a favorite font, it was probably Sans Sheriff

    I'd tell you to go to jail because that pun is so bad, but someone's gone and shot the sheriff AND the deputy...

  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
  • tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Going antique shopping won't make you gay.

    But it might make you buy curios.

  • Typhoid MannyTyphoid Manny Registered User regular
    if bob marley had a favorite font, it was probably Sans Sheriff

    I'd tell you to go to jail because that pun is so bad, but someone's gone and shot the sheriff AND the deputy...

    if you can believe it, i was dead asleep the other night and sat bolt upright in bed, wide the fuck awake, with that pun fully formed in my head

    this happens to me occasionally. i have no memory of this whatsoever, but my wife tells me one time a couple years ago she got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when she got back i sat up, said "i'm gonna invent a new chicken-based energy drink. it's called the Slaminella" and went back to sleep

    from each according to his ability, to each according to his need
    hitting hot metal with hammers
  • chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    The best superpower

  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    At the annual New Years meeting of the professional photographers, many resolutions were put forward.

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  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    At the annual New Years meeting of the professional photographers, many resolutions were put forward.

    It's nice to see this joke. Ever since cameras went digital, I feel like photographers don't get enough exposure.

  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    At the annual New Years meeting of the professional photographers, many resolutions were put forward.

    It's nice to see this joke. Ever since cameras went digital, I feel like photographers don't get enough exposure.

    Most of them stop being photographers because they lose focus on their careers.

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  • El SkidEl Skid The frozen white northRegistered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    At the annual New Years meeting of the professional photographers, many resolutions were put forward.

    It's nice to see this joke. Ever since cameras went digital, I feel like photographers don't get enough exposure.

    Most of them stop being photographers because they lose focus on their careers.

    I feel like quite a lot of them snap out of that in a flash though, before they shutter their doors.

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    if bob marley had a favorite font, it was probably Sans Sheriff

    I'd tell you to go to jail because that pun is so bad, but someone's gone and shot the sheriff AND the deputy...

    if you can believe it, i was dead asleep the other night and sat bolt upright in bed, wide the fuck awake, with that pun fully formed in my head

    this happens to me occasionally. i have no memory of this whatsoever, but my wife tells me one time a couple years ago she got up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, and when she got back i sat up, said "i'm gonna invent a new chicken-based energy drink. it's called the Slaminella" and went back to sleep

    There's a guy that semi-regularly shows up to a karaoke place I also attend semi-regularly. He goes by the name Seraph.

    One time when the KJ called his name to sing next but he had already left, I somewhat loudly proclaimed that apparently we were sans Seraph.

    BLM - ACAB
  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    El Skid wrote: »
    El Skid wrote: »
    At the annual New Years meeting of the professional photographers, many resolutions were put forward.

    It's nice to see this joke. Ever since cameras went digital, I feel like photographers don't get enough exposure.

    Most of them stop being photographers because they lose focus on their careers.

    I feel like quite a lot of them snap out of that in a flash though, before they shutter their doors.

    What scares me most about photographers is how often they frame you, shoot you, then hang you on a wall.

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  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered User regular
    What is Jamaican Pikachu's favorite Hawaiian dish?
    Poke, mon.

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    What is Harry Potter's favorite way to go down a hill?
    Walking.
    jk, rolling

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    WZG54mx.png

  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    That's the most American thing I've ever seen.

  • davidsdurionsdavidsdurions Your Trusty Meatshield Panhandle NebraskaRegistered User regular
    There is room for more digits.

  • McFodderMcFodder Registered User regular
    Well duh.

    It's not pie yet.

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  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    WZG54mx.png

    I wish people would stop pushing their religion on everyone. I mean great, you know Jonathan 3.14, but are you living it?

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    A new pastor moves into a neighborhood and goes knocking on the doors of his parishioners to meet them and get to know them personally before his first Sunday. Most of the people he meets are at home because they are older and they are all very welcoming to him.

    However, he comes to one house and after he knocks, he hears the television inside go silent. He knocks again and sees someone lift up one of the blinds slightly and immediately lowers it again. He knocks a third time and is met with silence. Finally, he pulls out one of his cards with his phone number and writes "Revelation 3:20" on it, and slides it under the door.

    The very next day he wakes up and sees that his card has been slid back underneath his own door. He looks at it and just under the scripture he had written, his parishioner has responded: "Genesis 3:10".

  • Mild ConfusionMild Confusion Smash All Things Registered User regular
    Heh, I had to look those scriptures up, but not bad.

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  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Ezekiel 23:20 :winky:

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    Heh, I had to look those scriptures up, but not bad.

    For those of us without a bible on hand?

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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Revelation 3:20
    Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.

    Genesis 3:10
    He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

This discussion has been closed.