People act like we turn into hissing demons that will sic the cops on you for even mistakenly using the wrong pronouns, but I cannot keep track of how many times I’ve let it slide just because it’s not worth the potential hassle over a thirty-second conversation with a stranger.
Sorry, I hope I didn't come across that way. I just know how fraught this topic can be, and also sometimes there are people who just don't conform to the cultural expectations of the gender they identify as.
Sometimes All the times I just wish we all spoke Marain or something, where the concept of gender just didn't exist.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
I had a dream last night where, despite my status is a 30-something adult, I had been assigned foster parents. They were immediately accepting and using my proper name and pronouns flawlessly. The father was kind and effervescent. The mother was someone I can feel comfortable around. They understood I had been through a lot of pain and just wanted to give me a place to be safe. Was actually pretty emotional and kind of fucked me up? Considering how I feel about my parents these days I'm not too surprised this dream happened...
I haven't really talked to my parents since the 2016 election, and sometimes I'll have dreams about them, sometimes where things are good, sometimes where things are bad. It's gotten to the point now where if I'm hanging out with my parents, and we're getting along, that that's enough for me to realize I'm dreaming. Zombies in dreams don't surprise me. My parents and I are together and not arguing? Clearly I'm in a false reality.
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
I eventually want to but I unfortunately lack the money due to family things and it costs a lot of energy to just keep my head above the water. Hopefully I can start hormones on 11 September and I'll be in a much better place emotionally (won't get that date tattooed though)
I haven't talked about this before because I was afraid some people would view this unkindly but I actually had this idea of moving to the UK before the Brexit referendum happened - because I like the UK a whole lot and I'm fluent in English (I also speak French but not at a "go to the doctor" level)
I really hope I'll feel better once hormones are sorted out, I was in fact kinda scared to be shackled to a specific clinic on top of all the other things but right now I feel I can sort things out once the need arises
I also thought about moving to Germany (where I lived for a couple of years) to get care but somehow things are even worse there because Germany loves rules
They also have this sort of two-faced culture where real or faked concern for intersex people is used to delegitimize trans people (the rules are built around the concept of "physical" vs. "psychological" causes and a lot of doctors will "only treat intersex")
Pardon my ignorance but this is something I've been confused about. The state I was born in requires "a medical certification of appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition in the form of an original letter from a licensed physician" in order to change a birth certificate. But I'm wondering what "appropriate clinical treatment of gender transition" entails, legally. I'm on HRT... does that count?
Curly_Brace on
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Erin did you have to have your surgery before you could change the marker on your license, or is that just coincidental timing?
Louisiana requires you have "completed transition" (get the surgery) before they'll change anything. I have the letter and am going to head to the DMV shortly to see if they try and dick me around any further on things.
Pardon my ignorance but this is something I've been confused about. The state I was born in requires "a medical certification of appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition in the form of an original letter from a licensed physician" in order to change a birth certificate. But I'm wondering what "appropriate clinical treatment of gender transition" entails, legally. I'm on HRT... does that count?
Whoever it is who prescribes you the HRT might be able to tell you? They've probably been asked before at least.
Pardon my ignorance but this is something I've been confused about. The state I was born in requires "a medical certification of appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition in the form of an original letter from a licensed physician" in order to change a birth certificate. But I'm wondering what "appropriate clinical treatment of gender transition" entails, legally. I'm on HRT... does that count?
Usually HRT is enough for that language. States looking for more usually include "permanent changes" in their requirements.
This conversation has led me down the rabbit hole to find a little talked about option in Michigan where you can get a court order of gender designation.
Seidkona on
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Pardon my ignorance but this is something I've been confused about. The state I was born in requires "a medical certification of appropriate clinical treatment for gender transition in the form of an original letter from a licensed physician" in order to change a birth certificate. But I'm wondering what "appropriate clinical treatment of gender transition" entails, legally. I'm on HRT... does that count?
It's gonna vary from state to state, but when I got my driver's license and passport gender markers changed that was the language used and I just needed a letter from my doctor saying I was on hrt, so you're probably good.
With this stuff my advice is to just assume it's good enough, get the letter and just go for it. Faked confidence and insistance that you have the right paperwork can get you pretty far in bureaucracy
+3
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Erin did you have to have your surgery before you could change the marker on your license, or is that just coincidental timing?
Louisiana requires you have "completed transition" (get the surgery) before they'll change anything. I have the letter and am going to head to the DMV shortly to see if they try and dick me around any further on things.
That sucks. Glad you've got through the hoops though.
+15
Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
The letter worked and now I have an F on there like it's supposed to be and the picture is awful and it is all as it should be.
Erin did you have to have your surgery before you could change the marker on your license, or is that just coincidental timing?
Louisiana requires you have "completed transition" (get the surgery) before they'll change anything. I have the letter and am going to head to the DMV shortly to see if they try and dick me around any further on things.
That is madness.
Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
My state is the same. It's currently being sued over it by the ACLU (I should check to see if there have been updates actually).
Because that might get me to leave the state. I haven't even decided yet if I'm having it done, and I don't want to be in the position of doing it just because of the license.
Triptycho: A card-and-dice tabletop indie RPG currently in development and playtesting
+1
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
In the UK it's a bit of a crapshoot depending on who you get processing your form. I just sent in a name change and they automatically updated my gender (we don't have F or M on our licenses, but women get a Ms/Miss/Mrs before their name while men don't get any title, lol) But I've heard of other people who were refused a change unless they provided a letter from a doctor or something. The rules are so vague and nobody really knows them.
In DC for your license gender you just need to fill out a self-designation form (although changing other stuff will require a doctor's note)
Now that I have my name change court order documents, I can go to the dmv whenever and do that, but I haven't yet. I've been thinking if maybe I'd rather put an X on there instead of an M, since apparently that's an option? I'd kind of rather.
Although I use male pronouns at work, that's not actually my identity, exactly, and in general my identity isn't anyone's business, and it would be nice if my license reflected that view (what are my pronouns? how about you fuck off)
oops wait did we just say above that trans people are friendly and don't mind if someone asks hah well
I mean I don't actually respond with hostility if people ask and I appreciate that they're trying to be respectful but also I hate answering
In the UK it's a bit of a crapshoot depending on who you get processing your form. I just sent in a name change and they automatically updated my gender (we don't have F or M on our licenses, but women get a Ms/Miss/Mrs before their name while men don't get any title, lol) But I've heard of other people who were refused a change unless they provided a letter from a doctor or something. The rules are so vague and nobody really knows them.
Yeah I (after a lot of effort) have an (F) on my passport. I had to educate my GP about how the process was supposed to work. Don't have a driver's licence, sooo...
I made it back home! I'm alive and up and moving around and like...doing shit around the house. Today I cleaned up the living room and dining room and bedroom and did the laundry and dishes!
Like the day I woke up after being re-surgeried I was getting up and walking around. Took laps around the nurse's area. I even walked the forever distance to the car in the parking garage and carried our bags and stuff!
Raaaaar I'm invincible
The full and mighty power of your floof has now been unleashed upon this world!
I wouldn't have carried the bags though (unless they were really light), I've heard of too many cases of prolapse (eeek :bigfrown: ) happening; but YMMVV (Your mileage may vary vaginally). :P
Went and had coffee at my folks' place today. Chatted with Dad about their recent trip to Israel and Malta, and RPG stuff, and some other fun things. I get along with Dad as well as usual, still.
Then I chatted with Mum for a while in an attempt to trying and bury the hatchet over stuff for the first time in like a year and a half.
It went... Poorly.
So instead of talking about that further here's a photo of Daeg in my rainbow scarf.
Went and had coffee at my folks' place today. Chatted with Dad about their recent trip to Israel and Malta, and RPG stuff, and some other fun things. I get along with Dad as well as usual, still.
Then I chatted with Mum for a while in an attempt to trying and bury the hatchet over stuff for the first time in like a year and a half.
It went... Poorly.
So instead of talking about that further here's a photo of Daeg in my rainbow scarf.
Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
I can personally vouch for Daeg being a very good cat indeed.
+6
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
So i've got the next 2 weeks off of work
every monday morning a community group gets together at the community center for crafting together, and doing workshops. And because it's Mondays I haven't been able to go cause, you know, working.
lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
OMG it was lovely.
Just a good bunch of ladies, varying ages, getting together to do things. Today we had a demo of making coldpressed soap and also some bath bombs. And you could either join in and help/watch or you could just sit and work on your own thing and enjoy the fellowship.
And then afterwards, they all relocate to the mall for lunch, but I had to go do other errands. But yay! I forced myself out of the house and actually did something!
last electrolysis appointment today. took my last estrogen ten days ago.(hooboy these mood swings.) haven't smoked since the 9th. surgery on the 2nd. still feels...not real. still secretly think it's going to get pulled away from me at the last minute. no, says the man at the insurance company
i know there's actual medical reasons for it but it really feels ironic having to go off the thing that stops the thing from happening so you can get rid of the thing that makes the thing happen
Posts
Sorry, I hope I didn't come across that way. I just know how fraught this topic can be, and also sometimes there are people who just don't conform to the cultural expectations of the gender they identify as.
Sometimes All the times I just wish we all spoke Marain or something, where the concept of gender just didn't exist.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
I haven't really talked to my parents since the 2016 election, and sometimes I'll have dreams about them, sometimes where things are good, sometimes where things are bad. It's gotten to the point now where if I'm hanging out with my parents, and we're getting along, that that's enough for me to realize I'm dreaming. Zombies in dreams don't surprise me. My parents and I are together and not arguing? Clearly I'm in a false reality.
Here's my life update
Steam // Secret Satan
I eventually want to but I unfortunately lack the money due to family things and it costs a lot of energy to just keep my head above the water. Hopefully I can start hormones on 11 September and I'll be in a much better place emotionally (won't get that date tattooed though)
I haven't talked about this before because I was afraid some people would view this unkindly but I actually had this idea of moving to the UK before the Brexit referendum happened - because I like the UK a whole lot and I'm fluent in English (I also speak French but not at a "go to the doctor" level)
I really hope I'll feel better once hormones are sorted out, I was in fact kinda scared to be shackled to a specific clinic on top of all the other things but right now I feel I can sort things out once the need arises
They also have this sort of two-faced culture where real or faked concern for intersex people is used to delegitimize trans people (the rules are built around the concept of "physical" vs. "psychological" causes and a lot of doctors will "only treat intersex")
Louisiana requires you have "completed transition" (get the surgery) before they'll change anything. I have the letter and am going to head to the DMV shortly to see if they try and dick me around any further on things.
Whoever it is who prescribes you the HRT might be able to tell you? They've probably been asked before at least.
Usually HRT is enough for that language. States looking for more usually include "permanent changes" in their requirements.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
It's gonna vary from state to state, but when I got my driver's license and passport gender markers changed that was the language used and I just needed a letter from my doctor saying I was on hrt, so you're probably good.
With this stuff my advice is to just assume it's good enough, get the letter and just go for it. Faked confidence and insistance that you have the right paperwork can get you pretty far in bureaucracy
That sucks. Glad you've got through the hoops though.
DMV cameras are so goddamn bad
That is madness.
Because that might get me to leave the state. I haven't even decided yet if I'm having it done, and I don't want to be in the position of doing it just because of the license.
Now that I have my name change court order documents, I can go to the dmv whenever and do that, but I haven't yet. I've been thinking if maybe I'd rather put an X on there instead of an M, since apparently that's an option? I'd kind of rather.
Although I use male pronouns at work, that's not actually my identity, exactly, and in general my identity isn't anyone's business, and it would be nice if my license reflected that view (what are my pronouns? how about you fuck off)
oops wait did we just say above that trans people are friendly and don't mind if someone asks hah well
I mean I don't actually respond with hostility if people ask and I appreciate that they're trying to be respectful but also I hate answering
https://hackinginquiry.eaction.org.uk/transphobiainthepress
If any of you with a valid UK postcode could sign this open letter you would doing a really cool/nice thing for today. 8-)
Yeah I (after a lot of effort) have an (F) on my passport. I had to educate my GP about how the process was supposed to work. Don't have a driver's licence, sooo...
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
I wouldn't have carried the bags though (unless they were really light), I've heard of too many cases of prolapse (eeek :bigfrown: ) happening; but YMMVV (Your mileage may vary vaginally). :P
Then I chatted with Mum for a while in an attempt to trying and bury the hatchet over stuff for the first time in like a year and a half.
It went... Poorly.
So instead of talking about that further here's a photo of Daeg in my rainbow scarf.
:bro:
Fly-ass cat tho, like damn
every monday morning a community group gets together at the community center for crafting together, and doing workshops. And because it's Mondays I haven't been able to go cause, you know, working.
But today. I'm going to try and go today.
I'm so nervous/anxious right now I could vomit.
I know that once I get there I'll be fine
I just need to get myself out the door.......
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Just a good bunch of ladies, varying ages, getting together to do things. Today we had a demo of making coldpressed soap and also some bath bombs. And you could either join in and help/watch or you could just sit and work on your own thing and enjoy the fellowship.
And then afterwards, they all relocate to the mall for lunch, but I had to go do other errands. But yay! I forced myself out of the house and actually did something!
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
Saw this being shared around a bit and thought it might give some folks in here a smile
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
This was an emotional and worthwhile video! I'm really glad that artist created it.