This may be a bit old-fashioned/sexist to suggest, but usually the bride (or the bride's family) will want the expensive wedding, while the groom is just making their fiancee happy.
This is one of those things that is extraordinarily variable. Some people want a big party with all of their family and friends. Some people want a small event. Some people don't want to make a big deal out of it. None of these things are bad options.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
This may be a bit old-fashioned/sexist to suggest, but usually the bride (or the bride's family) will want the expensive wedding, while the groom is just making their fiancee happy. Sometimes the groom is also up for the expensive wedding (usually means expensive/more gifts from your wedding guests, especially if there's a pre-registry).
I've been to plenty of weddings where it was very traditional with 50+ guests, friends and family, very formal, renting out a venue, easily an upper 5-figure wedding, and then I've been to some where it was "Married at City Hall, witness, sign the paper, let's go do an Escape room and play some VR Arcade games" and cost less than $500 all combined, including the marriage license fee.
I don't think it's old fashioned to suggest, but it's definitely a symptom of old fashioned society. The wedding industry is pervasive and vicious, and they put an extreme amount of pressure on women in particular to look perfect and be treated like a perfect princess.
A lot of folks see a wedding as your one and only chance in life to show the world how fancy and classy and beautiful you really are, and the industry has taught them to think that money is no object in pursuit of that goal. The average wedding in Canada costs over $30,000.
CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
Strikor and I got married in the courthouse, which I think cost $100. We then ate Taco Cabana. No family can get pouty they weren't invited because NO ONE was invited. Best wedding ever.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I like the idea of getting into formalwear for a wedding (I don't get to feel like a fancy MF often enough) but then I think about two recent weddings I attended where that was the dress code because it was a $10K+ wedding event.
Twice. Two different couples. They're divorced now. Hope it was worth it? Not sure if either one will ever get married again because it really is a major expense. My best friend who thankfully is still married, paid for his wedding on two different credit cards, and it took 3 years to get them back in balance.
*******
To put things back on topic for snugglehugs though, here's my cat Vivi being a total derp monster.
"If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain sizes, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was."
EVERYBODY WANTS TO SIT IN THE BIG CHAIR, MEG!
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Petesalzlvorpal blade in handRegistered Userregular
oceania: we basically got journey to the center of the earth level stuff here.
"If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain sizes, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was."
Bigger than before!
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
"The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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ShadowenSnores in the morningLoserdomRegistered Userregular
Bit of an emotional rollercoaster at the shelter I volunteer at today.
At the shelter, there was a cat named Dom. He might have originally been before my time, or he might have been from a part of the shelter I seldom work. Anyway, Dom turned back up a couple weeks ago in one of the rooms I do normally clean, because his person had to go to the hospital and her family refused to take him. (The shelter has a policy--they only take surrendered cats if they come from the shelter originally.)
Today I went in and saw that Dom wasn't there. I was very happy; I assumed that Dom's human was better and had come to pick him up. But then I saw on the sheet he was instead at a special event the shelter does at the nearby mall every year around this time, as the bulk of kittens born earlier in the year (though they don't just showcase kittens there) are ready for adoption. So now I have to assume that either Dom's owner passed, or she's decided she's not going to be able to come out of the hospital again or, if she does, she's not going to be able to take care of a cat anymore.
However, I saw an update just a few minutes ago on the website saying that Dom was adopted at the show. So there's that.
"If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain sizes, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was."
megafauna is the best. I still want to see a cool recreation of that giant sloth (elephant-sized!)
That man is not going to get his schoolwork done. Or whatever it is he's writing.
"The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Let's take all of the money we might've spent on the wedding and put it into an extended honeymoon where we travel a bunch.
Which seems pretty good. And it was good for me because I didn't have to travel to go to a wedding.
Our wedding was a surprise potluck. As in nobody knew we were getting married (or even that we were engaged), we just threw a party and halfway through a celebrant came out.
We threw it while my parents were visiting but none of the rest of my family.
My brother still holds a massive grudge about it 5 years later.
Honestly, I can kind of get that. If my sister hadn't wanted to do a wedding, that would've been fine, but if she'd set things up so my parents and other folks were there and not me, I'd probably spend a looooong time wondering what I'd done wrong.
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#pipeCocky Stride, Musky odoursPope of Chili TownRegistered Userregular
Let's take all of the money we might've spent on the wedding and put it into an extended honeymoon where we travel a bunch.
Which seems pretty good. And it was good for me because I didn't have to travel to go to a wedding.
Our wedding was a surprise potluck. As in nobody knew we were getting married (or even that we were engaged), we just threw a party and halfway through a celebrant came out.
We threw it while my parents were visiting but none of the rest of my family.
My brother still holds a massive grudge about it 5 years later.
Honestly, I can kind of get that. If my sister hadn't wanted to do a wedding, that would've been fine, but if she'd set things up so my parents and other folks were there and not me, I'd probably spend a looooong time wondering what I'd done wrong.
He and his wife and three children live in Australia. I live in Canada. Regardless of what we did we would have upset some people.
I didn't want my brother to be obligated to spend literally $10,000 bringing his family overseas to be at my wedding, and we didn't want to obligate my wife's family to do the trip in the other direction.
Further-more, we went to Australia less than a year later and threw another big party where we got married again, this time for all of my family and friends who lived there. It was literally the same thing only we didn't sign any documents.
Let's take all of the money we might've spent on the wedding and put it into an extended honeymoon where we travel a bunch.
Which seems pretty good. And it was good for me because I didn't have to travel to go to a wedding.
Our wedding was a surprise potluck. As in nobody knew we were getting married (or even that we were engaged), we just threw a party and halfway through a celebrant came out.
We threw it while my parents were visiting but none of the rest of my family.
My brother still holds a massive grudge about it 5 years later.
Honestly, I can kind of get that. If my sister hadn't wanted to do a wedding, that would've been fine, but if she'd set things up so my parents and other folks were there and not me, I'd probably spend a looooong time wondering what I'd done wrong.
He and his wife and three children live in Australia. I live in Canada. Regardless of what we did we would have upset some people.
I didn't want my brother to be obligated to spend literally $10,000 bringing his family overseas to be at my wedding, and we didn't want to obligate my wife's family to do the trip in the other direction.
Further-more, we went to Australia less than a year later and threw another big party where we got married again, this time for all of my family and friends who lived there. It was literally the same thing only we didn't sign any documents.
My brother refused to come.
Well that is just being unreasonable.
My GF and I decided when we get married to just have a court room ceremony and then throw 2 separate parties for our families. They live so far apart it seems unwieldy otherwise
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This is one of those things that is extraordinarily variable. Some people want a big party with all of their family and friends. Some people want a small event. Some people don't want to make a big deal out of it. None of these things are bad options.
I don't think it's old fashioned to suggest, but it's definitely a symptom of old fashioned society. The wedding industry is pervasive and vicious, and they put an extreme amount of pressure on women in particular to look perfect and be treated like a perfect princess.
A lot of folks see a wedding as your one and only chance in life to show the world how fancy and classy and beautiful you really are, and the industry has taught them to think that money is no object in pursuit of that goal. The average wedding in Canada costs over $30,000.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Twice. Two different couples. They're divorced now. Hope it was worth it? Not sure if either one will ever get married again because it really is a major expense. My best friend who thankfully is still married, paid for his wedding on two different credit cards, and it took 3 years to get them back in balance.
*******
To put things back on topic for snugglehugs though, here's my cat Vivi being a total derp monster.
Steam: TheArcadeBear
"If we increase the size of the penguin until it is the same height as the man and then compare the relative brain sizes, we now find that the penguin's brain is still smaller. But, and this is the point, it is larger than it was."
EVERYBODY WANTS TO SIT IN THE BIG CHAIR, MEG!
Bigger than before!
EVERYBODY WANTS TO SIT IN THE BIG CHAIR, MEG!
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Oh so THAT'S why he's called Tube.
At the shelter, there was a cat named Dom. He might have originally been before my time, or he might have been from a part of the shelter I seldom work. Anyway, Dom turned back up a couple weeks ago in one of the rooms I do normally clean, because his person had to go to the hospital and her family refused to take him. (The shelter has a policy--they only take surrendered cats if they come from the shelter originally.)
Today I went in and saw that Dom wasn't there. I was very happy; I assumed that Dom's human was better and had come to pick him up. But then I saw on the sheet he was instead at a special event the shelter does at the nearby mall every year around this time, as the bulk of kittens born earlier in the year (though they don't just showcase kittens there) are ready for adoption. So now I have to assume that either Dom's owner passed, or she's decided she's not going to be able to come out of the hospital again or, if she does, she's not going to be able to take care of a cat anymore.
However, I saw an update just a few minutes ago on the website saying that Dom was adopted at the show. So there's that.
megafauna is the best. I still want to see a cool recreation of that giant sloth (elephant-sized!)
also check out this squad
-Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
Honestly, I can kind of get that. If my sister hadn't wanted to do a wedding, that would've been fine, but if she'd set things up so my parents and other folks were there and not me, I'd probably spend a looooong time wondering what I'd done wrong.
He and his wife and three children live in Australia. I live in Canada. Regardless of what we did we would have upset some people.
I didn't want my brother to be obligated to spend literally $10,000 bringing his family overseas to be at my wedding, and we didn't want to obligate my wife's family to do the trip in the other direction.
Further-more, we went to Australia less than a year later and threw another big party where we got married again, this time for all of my family and friends who lived there. It was literally the same thing only we didn't sign any documents.
My brother refused to come.
Need some stuff designed or printed? I can help with that.
Well that is just being unreasonable.
My GF and I decided when we get married to just have a court room ceremony and then throw 2 separate parties for our families. They live so far apart it seems unwieldy otherwise
Very pretty kitty.
You're spending too much time on your fucking phone, Gary. -Birb, probably.
*pounds desk with fist*
THIS THREAD DEMANDS EVIDENCE!!!
Sound on for this one:
my tortie has tortie-colored whiskers, though it's hard to tell, and mostly black with 2 white whiskers and some short pale ones
and the apricot/buff tabby (my strawberry blonde cat) has mostly white whiskers with a sprinkling of black
Origin ID: Discgolfer27
Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
scout does too
it weirded me out at first
Hmmm, yeah that checks out.
It's probably just becuase my cat's whiskers are a very glossy black and I applied that to all others.