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It's a good [job] thread, Elmo

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    David_TDavid_T A fashion yes-man is no good to me. Copenhagen, DenmarkRegistered User regular
    We switched IT domains back to being under parent company #1 this weekend and in the process, some very important data got lost. And I'm scared that it might not be a case of the data not transferring correctly but rather a case of me not putting it in the right folders before my PC got wiped.

    There's a mild hope that we might be able to get the data host we used previously to reactivate the account and recover the data, but... this is not how I wanted my Monday to go.

    euj90n71sojo.png
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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Nobody in charge is here today so of course everyone needs everything fixed right now

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    edited December 2019
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    expendable on
    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    Only a wizard could make a 47gig one page flyer.

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Probably all the embedded GIFs.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    I have seen some stunningly huge document files. I had to recreate an excel DCW from scratch because there was all sorts of hidden/embedded data I couldn't find, that made it like 25 MB when it was "empty".

    I've also seen some PDFs that were fairly reasonably sized that just exploded when sent to the printer.

    steam_sig.png
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Have they got the resolution of their work set to something stupid like 9600 DPI?

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    Somebody left a gun in a bag at our self-checkout this morning. We turned it over to SPD, and nobody has come by or called asking about it. Pretty sure this thing is gonna be matching some crime scene ballistics.

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Congratulations, manager who just walked in, you are officially the person in charge for all these people constantly calling.

    I'm almost looking forward to the dentist today because I'm leaving early!

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    Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Somebody left a gun in a bag at our self-checkout this morning. We turned it over to SPD, and nobody has come by or called asking about it. Pretty sure this thing is gonna be matching some crime scene ballistics.

    That's a drawback to the gun-in-a-bag lifestyle - if you lose it somewhere, chances are you can't really ask around about it.

    I'm betting "Make Better Choices" would be something you could say many times a day an hour to the owner person who left it.

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Have they got the resolution of their work set to something stupid like 9600 DPI?

    Ultra high resolution, and it was like 85 ft x 110 ft or something, being forced to 8.5x11 inch paper. And there were animated gifs so I guess it was trying print every frame? I don't know. I scanned one of the copies and sent them a <1mb pdf to use.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Karl wrote: »
    I also bought some sick flannel shirts because I am now 32 and dress like modern-day Jamie Oliver
    Omg I had no idea you were such a baby! Ugh I am so old
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Wow, I have NO emails after I left last week.

    Either it was very quiet or I'm being fired and they're waiting until today to tell me

    Yes, after two raises in under two years and your coworkers singing your praises just recently they have decided that whoops, they were wrong after all and now you are fired, sorry

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Moriveth wrote: »
    Wow, I have NO emails after I left last week.

    Either it was very quiet or I'm being fired and they're waiting until today to tell me

    Yes, after two raises in under two years and your coworkers singing your praises just recently they have decided that whoops, they were wrong after all and now you are fired, sorry

    I fucking knew it

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    KadithKadith Registered User regular
    one of my employees just told me this morning that another manager showed her appreciation of my employee's work by patting her on the head and kissing her forehead on the last friday i was out for jury duty

    i was expecting drama this monday but jfc i am livid, and that manager is lucky it's not a situation where i can succesfully argue that it's sexual harassment

    zkHcp.jpg
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    BaidolBaidol I will hold him off Escape while you canRegistered User regular
    The pink slip was meant for someone else, but Moriveth's presence compelled it to be redirected.

    Steam Overwatch: Baidol#1957
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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Kadith wrote: »
    one of my employees just told me this morning that another manager showed her appreciation of my employee's work by patting her on the head and kissing her forehead on the last friday i was out for jury duty

    i was expecting drama this monday but jfc i am livid, and that manager is lucky it's not a situation where i can succesfully argue that it's sexual harassment

    Ew

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Yeah that is fucking gross

    Who does that

    the head pat is bad enough but then it gets worse

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    schussschuss Registered User regular
    I mean, why would your lips be anywhere near an employee unless they needed CPR? Really?

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    QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    The ATM gave me a hundred dollar bill instead of five 20s.

    Dick move, ATM!

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    expendableexpendable Silly Goose Registered User regular
    schuss wrote: »
    I mean, why would your lips be anywhere near an employee unless they needed CPR? Really?

    I have done the head pat thing a couple times at work, but only to very certain people I had extremely rare close relationships with outside of work; only when it was just the two of us, never in front of others, and only knowing ahead of time that it was okay with them, welcome, and enjoyed.

    I wouldn't, and never did, kiss any part of anybody in anyway under any circumstance at work, even when I was sleeping with them outside of work. That's a thought process I can't fucking fathom.

    Djiem wrote: »
    Lokiamis wrote: »
    So the servers suddenly decide to cramp up during the last six percent.
    Man, the Director will really go out of his way to be a dick to L4D players.
    Steam
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    StragintStragint Do Not Gift Always DeclinesRegistered User regular
    edited December 2019
    I wish jobs had like maternity/paternity leave for people with pregnant dogs. My parents male dachshund got the female dachshund pregnant back in October and we took her to the vet today and she is apparently due in the next 17 days.

    Also might be having 9 puppies and I don't understand how she is fitting so many.

    Stragint on
    PSN: Reaper_Stragint, Steam: DoublePitstoChesty
    What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? ~ Mario Novak

    I never fear death or dyin', I only fear never trying.
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    V1mV1m Registered User regular
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Well how did he?

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    JansonJanson Registered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    I wish jobs had like maternity/paternity leave for people with pregnant dogs.

    That would require them to actually give it to people first...

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    SnicketysnickSnicketysnick The Greatest Hype Man in WesterosRegistered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    I wish jobs had like maternity/paternity leave for people with pregnant dogs. My parents male dachshund got the female dachshund pregnant back in October and we took her to the vet today and she is apparently due in the next 17 days.

    Also might be having 9 puppies and I don't understand how she is fitting so many.

    dickinson-_-morris-cocktail-pork-sausage-34-raw.jpg

    7qmGNt5.png
    D3 Steam #TeamTangent STO
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    Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    I dealt with a forehead kiss situation some years back. The guy's defense was that he is a minister, and it was a fatherly "bless you my child" kind of kiss that he gives to members of his congregation all the time.

    Yeah, that didn't fly.

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    BucketmanBucketman Call me SkraggRegistered User regular
    I have patted employees on the head, or given them hugs. When they were close friends and the situation called for it. My friend got a call her dog was hit by a car and she broke into tears in the middle of work, thats a hug and walk with them to the breakroom and tell them to go home. My buddy who was a total goofball and kind of a jackass comes into work high and then tells me that he will skin me and wear it like a robe? Thats a head pat moment "Go ahead and try buddy".

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    expendable wrote: »
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Have they got the resolution of their work set to something stupid like 9600 DPI?

    Ultra high resolution, and it was like 85 ft x 110 ft or something, being forced to 8.5x11 inch paper. And there were animated gifs so I guess it was trying print every frame? I don't know. I scanned one of the copies and sent them a <1mb pdf to use.

    I...was joking about the GIFs.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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    Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    Everybody's boundaries and work cultures are different, but I think it's simplest and safest to just say flat-out: unless part of your job specifically requires that you touch people you work with, don't touch people you work with.

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Echo wrote: »
    Our product owner said my team had been "on fire" this last sprint and it took me a few seconds to interpret that as a positive thing.

    "On fire" usually means "the backend/infra is..." to me.

    You guys are inflammable

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    BrainleechBrainleech 機知に富んだコメントはここにあります Registered User regular
    Well my monster of a dachshund is someone I am curious how they gave birth to him as his chest is so large I can barely wrap both of my hands around

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    godmodegodmode Southeast JapanRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    expendable wrote: »
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Have they got the resolution of their work set to something stupid like 9600 DPI?

    Ultra high resolution, and it was like 85 ft x 110 ft or something, being forced to 8.5x11 inch paper. And there were animated gifs so I guess it was trying print every frame? I don't know. I scanned one of the copies and sent them a <1mb pdf to use.

    I...was joking about the GIFs.

    Good opportunity to remind folks this ONE WEIRD OFFICE TRICK
    You can rename modern Office documents (.docx, .xlsx, etc.) to .zip and open the zip file to view all the media contents. This can help figure out why files have ballooned in size! (Make a copy of the original before you mess with it though)

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    TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    godmode wrote: »
    Jedoc wrote: »
    expendable wrote: »
    expendable wrote: »
    User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
    Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
    User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
    Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?

    Have they got the resolution of their work set to something stupid like 9600 DPI?

    Ultra high resolution, and it was like 85 ft x 110 ft or something, being forced to 8.5x11 inch paper. And there were animated gifs so I guess it was trying print every frame? I don't know. I scanned one of the copies and sent them a <1mb pdf to use.

    I...was joking about the GIFs.

    Good opportunity to remind folks this ONE WEIRD OFFICE TRICK
    You can rename modern Office documents (.docx, .xlsx, etc.) to .zip and open the zip file to view all the media contents. This can help figure out why files have ballooned in size! (Make a copy of the original before you mess with it though)

    I forget why I couldn't properly modify it in the file, but I once recieved a Doc file from someone that had an image in it. When you use the size handles on an image in Word, it just zooms it basically, so the resolution doesn't change. This one was like, an uncompressed phone photo or something.

    So I did the zip trick, resized the file for real, and just replaced it, and shrunk the size from 4MB to like 100KB.

    steam_sig.png
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    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Brainleech wrote: »
    Well my monster of a dachshund is someone I am curious how they gave birth to him as his chest is so large I can barely wrap both of my hands around

    My folks have one like that. His chest scrapes the carpet and he is not a fat dog, just burly as fuck.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
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    Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    Resolution issues are really common among inexperienced users of illustrator and similar programs because they don’t force or ask you about file size; people just start working at high res and the more they add the worse it gets.

    It wouldn’t be sooo bad except those same users also don’t know to flatten or vectorize whatever they’re working on and just send a gigantic pdf to the printer and back everything up

    NREqxl5.jpg
    it was the smallest on the list but
    Pluto was a planet and I'll never forget
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Stragint wrote: »
    I wish jobs had like maternity/paternity leave for people with pregnant dogs. My parents male dachshund got the female dachshund pregnant back in October and we took her to the vet today and she is apparently due in the next 17 days.

    Also might be having 9 puppies and I don't understand how she is fitting so many.

    Are you giving them away and if so where do you live?

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    Every time I file a pleading, I give it just a lil' smooch, just for good luck in the filing process, you know?

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    And occasionally a little tongue

    But only occasionally

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited December 2019
    My professional machinations come back to bite me in the butt

    I was asked for two or three "peer references" for this corporate position and I put down Florida Man for the following reasons:
    - he thinks I'm a tech guru and will be extremely positive about working with me
    - he can usually fake being a functional adult for at least the duration of a phone call
    - (the real reason) we've been waiting for a paper draft from him for over two months and I figured "tynic is taking another job" might give him the requisite kick up the arse

    Well now he's messaging me asking what he should say in this phone call, I'm like I dunno dude I just wanted you to shit out a paper.
    But it worked, so tell them I'm a wizard at soft manipulation I guess

    tynic on
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    Drake ChambersDrake Chambers Lay out my formal shorts. Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    My professional machinations come back to bite me in the butt

    I was asked for two or three "peer references" for this corporate position and I put down Florida Man for the following reasons:
    - he thinks I'm a tech guru and will be extremely positive about working with me
    - he can usually fake being a functional adult for at least the duration of a phone call
    - (the real reason) we've been waiting for a paper draft from him for over two months and I figured "tynic is taking another job" might give him the requisite kick up the arse

    Well now he's messaging me asking what he should say in this phone call, I'm like I dunno dude I just wanted you to shit out a paper.
    But it worked, so tell them I'm a wizard at soft manipulation I guess

    I've been able to leverage contacts like that before, and whether it's transparent or not it gets the job done.

    Me, to someone looking for help: "Hey, I have a great contact for you. Call This Guy and tell him I gave you his number, he'll be able to help."

    Within a day I get a call from This Guy, apologizing for taking so long to get back to me on whatever it was I needed from him.

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    Lord_AsmodeusLord_Asmodeus goeticSobriquet: Here is your magical cryptic riddle-tumour: I AM A TIME MACHINERegistered User regular
    edited December 2019
    So yesterday at like 7 my boss messaged me to say they could keep me on for like another two weeks to help out, and just today two of the people who were going to be coming over to where we are got fired, one of them the manager over there, because, if I'm remembering right what I was told, they'd apparently been stealing the stock and selling it for scrap on the side? So I have no idea how that's going to affect me, but I also have been in contact with the work placement company that helped me get this job, and they were suggesting another warehouse position hopefully for higher pay than my current position and with more chances for advancement or side-grades, in terms of employment, and they said they'd look for more office-type work as well.

    So I don't really know what I'm going to do.

    Lord_Asmodeus on
    Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if Labor had not first existed. Labor is superior to capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. - Lincoln
This discussion has been closed.