My professional machinations come back to bite me in the butt
I was asked for two or three "peer references" for this corporate position and I put down Florida Man for the following reasons:
- he thinks I'm a tech guru and will be extremely positive about working with me
- he can usually fake being a functional adult for at least the duration of a phone call
- (the real reason) we've been waiting for a paper draft from him for over two months and I figured "tynic is taking another job" might give him the requisite kick up the arse
Well now he's messaging me asking what he should say in this phone call, I'm like I dunno dude I just wanted you to shit out a paper.
But it worked, so tell them I'm a wizard at soft manipulation I guess
You're a straight shooter with upper management written all over you.
+12
MrMonroepassed outon the floor nowRegistered Userregular
Let's play Good Idea, Bad Idea:
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
Lol, they're getting SAP. Is it even CRM? Who cares, that's what they're getting!
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
I mean, "you got it boss" is definitely one thing you can say!
"This is a horrible idea and I would need at least 6 months to do even a decent job at this and here are some horror stories of what happens when companies like ours try to switch software too fast..." would be my personal response, but that other thing is definitely something else you could say! >_>
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
Lol, they're getting SAP. Is it even CRM? Who cares, that's what they're getting!
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
User: The new color MFP sucks! I sent a print job last week and it never printed, so I sent it again today and it STILL hasn't printed.
Me: Here's like 50 full color flyers that were sitting on the machine when I came in this morning at 730. And there's more coming out, although a bit slowly...
User: Why is it so slow? This machine sucks.
Me: I want to ask why you're printing a 47GB file 50 times, but more than that I need to know HOW THE FUCK YOU MADE A SIMPLE ONE-PAGE FLYER BE 47GB!?
Well how did he?
The first actual print that someone did on the brand new photocopier we got this year was our exec accidentally printing out seven copies of an 800 page document. She wanted to print out page 7, once. I caught this after four phonebooks worth had been printed.
Also I just got an email to schedule an initial interview. It's the place I was really excited to apply to in the summer, which ended up having already filled the position when I applied. But I saw they had the posting up again a couple weeks ago so I sent the same application off again and now I'm vibrating intensely aaaaaaaaa
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
Lol, they're getting SAP. Is it even CRM? Who cares, that's what they're getting!
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
I wish our office used sales force, so, so much.
+1
MrMonroepassed outon the floor nowRegistered Userregular
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
I mean, "you got it boss" is definitely one thing you can say!
"This is a horrible idea and I would need at least 6 months to do even a decent job at this and here are some horror stories of what happens when companies like ours try to switch software too fast..." would be my personal response, but that other thing is definitely something else you could say! >_>
Experience has taught me that the first response is "you got it, boss," followed by a detailed and studious warning like the above (which I gave) and a silent plan to just extend the contract on the original tool for several months while we get the new one spun up.
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
We might just, but I'm determined to review at least one or two other options. "Nobody ever got fired for buying __________" just can't be a good enough reason.
Fun desk moving times. Friday of last week I got moved a cubical over and was told that my new forever home would be ready soon and when it was I would be moved to there. Today I was told the new desk is ready, but my boss said she's waiting for the Property Management team to say its ok to move me.
I could just like...move myself to a nicer, full sized desk and not be in this weird cramped temp space.
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I just had to ask my sup a question and when I went into his office he had headphones on and I looked and he had YouTube open listening to a Joe Rogan podcast and... Fuck me... Of course he did.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just into mixed martial arts. Unfortunately JR is often the only person interviewing martial artists. I know a couple of people who will tune in to him just for that and aren't even aware of the other shit.
You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just into mixed martial arts. Unfortunately JR is often the only person interviewing martial artists. I know a couple of people who will tune in to him just for that and aren't even aware of the other shit.
From what I know about my supervisor... I'd be SHOCKED if he was into any kind of martial arts.
You never know though
0
Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just into mixed martial arts. Unfortunately JR is often the only person interviewing martial artists. I know a couple of people who will tune in to him just for that and aren't even aware of the other shit.
From what I know about my supervisor... I'd be SHOCKED if he was into any kind of martial arts.
You never know though
Just wait until he gets a skinful in at the company Christmas party and reveals he has a bedroom in his house set up as a huge shrine to Georges St-Pierre...
+1
Raijin QuickfootI'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPAregular
You could give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he's just into mixed martial arts. Unfortunately JR is often the only person interviewing martial artists. I know a couple of people who will tune in to him just for that and aren't even aware of the other shit.
From what I know about my supervisor... I'd be SHOCKED if he was into any kind of martial arts.
You never know though
Just wait until he gets a skinful in at the company Christmas party and reveals he has a bedroom in his house set up as a huge shrine to Georges St-Pierre...
I bet he's a fucking Tito Ortiz guy.
+3
Inquisitor772 x Penny Arcade Fight Club ChampionA fixed point in space and timeRegistered Userregular
I listen to podcasts at work.
I listened to the entire audiobook of Dune while at work (over several weeks).
Me the whole time: "No! It's pronounced Be-nay Ghess-ur-it!!!"
0
FFOnce Upon a TimeIn OaklandRegistered Userregular
First day back from "Vacation" (in quotes because Missouri + In-laws + Drama, doesn't a vacation make) and one of my better technicians told me he has to resign and move back south to help care for his girlfriend who had a psychotic break a couple weeks back. I'm going to try and get HR to get some options together in case there's a way we can keep him, but he's only been here 6 months, and I already know HR isn't going to bother going out of their way. We likely won't be able to fill his position either.
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
I mean, "you got it boss" is definitely one thing you can say!
"This is a horrible idea and I would need at least 6 months to do even a decent job at this and here are some horror stories of what happens when companies like ours try to switch software too fast..." would be my personal response, but that other thing is definitely something else you could say! >_>
Experience has taught me that the first response is "you got it, boss," followed by a detailed and studious warning like the above (which I gave) and a silent plan to just extend the contract on the original tool for several months while we get the new one spun up.
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
We might just, but I'm determined to review at least one or two other options. "Nobody ever got fired for buying __________" just can't be a good enough reason.
Review Dynamics at least, they've dragged it pretty close to Salesforce (and exceed it in some places).
Anyway I got into work about 30 minutes ago. Not too bad of a delay I guess, but still annoying.
I took the bus to tacoma to get on the bus to seattle
when I was about to get on the bus, they announced trains were running again, but given that 3 or 4 trains were delayed I figured I'd actually get in sooner taking the bus. I've been on the train when there's been ONE train ahead of us, much less three.
0
JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Filling out a recommendation for a former minion. The key strengths section was pretty easy, but I'm struggling with the key weaknesses section.
"The candidate is quite small, rendering her vulnerable to overhead attacks from taller opponents and large birds."
One more assignment for this week, after doing a 50-slide powerpoint and writing 10k words for a couple of different memos. Then I just have a 30-page term paper on land taxation and two exams and I'm fuckin' done with this semester.
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
I mean, "you got it boss" is definitely one thing you can say!
"This is a horrible idea and I would need at least 6 months to do even a decent job at this and here are some horror stories of what happens when companies like ours try to switch software too fast..." would be my personal response, but that other thing is definitely something else you could say! >_>
Experience has taught me that the first response is "you got it, boss," followed by a detailed and studious warning like the above (which I gave) and a silent plan to just extend the contract on the original tool for several months while we get the new one spun up.
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
We might just, but I'm determined to review at least one or two other options. "Nobody ever got fired for buying __________" just can't be a good enough reason.
Review Dynamics at least, they've dragged it pretty close to Salesforce (and exceed it in some places).
My workplace uses Dynamics CRM and it does seem pretty good. Just make sure the people implementing it know what they're doing, and hope nothing ever breaks that Microsoft needs to fix, cause you'll be waiting a good long while...
0
Inquisitor772 x Penny Arcade Fight Club ChampionA fixed point in space and timeRegistered Userregular
Posts
Sleep. Sleep time
You're a straight shooter with upper management written all over you.
Good Idea: Put MrMonroe in charge of implementing the purchase and switchover to a new CRM tool, he's good at software vendor reviews, understands what our overall data model is, and is the closest thing to an IT leader we have.
Bad Idea: Give him two weeks.
☜(゚ヮ゚☜) you got it boss
Lol, they're getting SAP. Is it even CRM? Who cares, that's what they're getting!
That'll learn em'
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
I mean, "you got it boss" is definitely one thing you can say!
"This is a horrible idea and I would need at least 6 months to do even a decent job at this and here are some horror stories of what happens when companies like ours try to switch software too fast..." would be my personal response, but that other thing is definitely something else you could say! >_>
Nah, CRM is all Salesforce these days. Just buy that and pay a contracting shop to stand it up.
The first actual print that someone did on the brand new photocopier we got this year was our exec accidentally printing out seven copies of an 800 page document. She wanted to print out page 7, once. I caught this after four phonebooks worth had been printed.
Switch: SW-7603-3284-4227
My ACNH Wishlists | My ACNH Catalog
Switch: SW-7603-3284-4227
My ACNH Wishlists | My ACNH Catalog
I wish our office used sales force, so, so much.
Experience has taught me that the first response is "you got it, boss," followed by a detailed and studious warning like the above (which I gave) and a silent plan to just extend the contract on the original tool for several months while we get the new one spun up.
We might just, but I'm determined to review at least one or two other options. "Nobody ever got fired for buying __________" just can't be a good enough reason.
I could just like...move myself to a nicer, full sized desk and not be in this weird cramped temp space.
Worthless supervisors, that's who.
To be fair... I listen to podcasts all day while I'm processing shit.
I listened to the entire audiobook of Dune while at work (over several weeks).
From what I know about my supervisor... I'd be SHOCKED if he was into any kind of martial arts.
You never know though
Just wait until he gets a skinful in at the company Christmas party and reveals he has a bedroom in his house set up as a huge shrine to Georges St-Pierre...
I bet he's a fucking Tito Ortiz guy.
Me the whole time: "No! It's pronounced Be-nay Ghess-ur-it!!!"
At least it's not Monday.
How is it pronounced on the audiobook?
Review Dynamics at least, they've dragged it pretty close to Salesforce (and exceed it in some places).
I took the bus to tacoma to get on the bus to seattle
when I was about to get on the bus, they announced trains were running again, but given that 3 or 4 trains were delayed I figured I'd actually get in sooner taking the bus. I've been on the train when there's been ONE train ahead of us, much less three.
"The candidate is quite small, rendering her vulnerable to overhead attacks from taller opponents and large birds."
Benny Jessurit, I think?
My workplace uses Dynamics CRM and it does seem pretty good. Just make sure the people implementing it know what they're doing, and hope nothing ever breaks that Microsoft needs to fix, cause you'll be waiting a good long while...
The internet says it's supposed to be pronounced "Benny Jess-er-it".
... more of a "Beh-nuh" innit?
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
I always pronounce it "bean juicer" because I'm too lazy to figure out the correct pronunciation.
This is why I love Lofi Hip Hop, but find it occasionally jarring when it includes snippets of melodramatic anime dialogue.