Some of you may recall a few months back when I came to H/A to ask for advice regarding my mom looking to get a book published via a vanity publisher (old thread here: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/225100/convincing-mother-not-to-pay-vanity-publisher
Well, she went ahead and self-published her book at her own expense.
Now, I did help her with some minor edits here and there, but I had not yet read the complete manuscript. Now that I have a published copy, I've read the whole thing and.... I hate it.
It's not just that it's not a very well written book (parts of it are extremely meandering and dry, and she doesn't know who her audience is. She wants to market it as a children's book, but in parts, it's written like a textbook), it's that it also contains (in one particular chapter) some views that I find really... really problematic.
Without going on too long, one of the stories stars one of my nieces as the princess of a kingdom who is dealing with an immigration problem...
Basically, the princess's brilliant plan to "deal" with this problem is to house these immigrants in a separate "city", built by the royal family, where they can live until they "learn our ways".
The story actually goes into great detail on how this might work while, of course, avoiding some of the questions that, you know, would come up in the face of such a proposal.
Of course, my mom is super excited about her book and is constantly poking me for feedback and thoughts. So far I've staved her off with comments like "good for you, mom!" and "I'm proud of you" while avoiding the actual subject matter at hand. It already kills me that I feel like I'm having to lie to my mother about my true feelings on the book because I know they'll be devastating to her, but what concerns me, even more, is that I'm sure she's going to seek opportunities to read her "children's stories" to her own grandchildren, which I feel I just can't abide.
So I'm back, H/A, to solicit advice on how to broach this topic with her. Is breaking her heart unavoidable at this juncture? She's already faced heartbreak after self-publishing a previous memoir chronicling the life of her father, which did not paint a particularly kind picture of him, earning her some pretty bad backlash from members of her family already. I feel like criticism from her own son will just completely shatter her heart, as she honestly does not understand the problematic issues with her view on immigration, and honestly believes her political views on the matter are common-sense and generous. I even remember a conversation we had in the past where the topic of ghettos and segregation were brought up, and her feelings on the matter wasn't that ghettos were a problem on their face, but rather that they (over and over, apparently) were simply mismanaged and fell victim to corruption. Essentially, she believes the "idea" of ghettos is sound, they just fail in execution, and we should basically just try again, but better, or something.
This isn't the alt-right style "sticking it to the libs" type of attitude, it's the "we're doing this for their
Anyways, I don't want this to turn into a politics thread, I'm more looking for advice on how to broach the topic of differing political views with a close family member without tearing a family apart or if that's even possible anymore.
- Should I hide my true feelings on my mother's book (which she's extremely proud of) to spare my mother's feelings, even if that means it might expose my daughter to political views I strongly oppose, or;
- Do I tell my mother the truth, even if it risks shattering her heart, for the sake of my daughter
Thanks again guys.