The [Movie] Thread where we STAY ALIVE

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  • Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    But then it turns into an Indiana Jones movie halfway through!

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  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    "graciously offered" like the motherfucker didn't get paid

    Yeah sure fine.

    Its still ridiculous to paint him as the bad guy here and indicative of how off the rails this movement went.

    I will say from my moral high horse of liking josstice league and being interested in seeing the snyder cut, I think investing so much of your ego in a brand that you're going to post a video of you angrily destroying your justice league bluray is petty, but I don't think it's much better to be on the other side carefully following and judging the crimes of the ungrateful snyder cult as if they are seriously threatening the integrity of the artform

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  • -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    I just hope they don't completely cut the russian family

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  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    I just hope they don't completely cut the russian family

    there will actually be twice as much on-air time due to a slow-mo musical scene featuring numerous smash cuts

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  • MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    I have a blanket policy of treating Joss Whedon like the bad guy

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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    But then it turns into an Indiana Jones movie halfway through!

    I think the sequence works better as a Scarface homage:

    First they came for the Muslims and we said...NOT TODAY MOTHERFUCKERS!
  • Medium DaveMedium Dave Registered User regular
    I know Christopher Nolan is a robot man but what this article presupposes is...what if he fucking loves MacGruber?

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  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Everyone should watch Blood Machines. It is extremely weird and composed of equal parts tits and fleshy spaceships.

    Oh, and when Gus called the final scene "climactic space battle is basically naked ladies doing ballet in a ruined space hulk graveyard in bisexual lighting" he was in no way being hyperbolic

    It's upsettingly horny and extremely anxious and the writing makes no sense and there's synthwave playing the entire time and it's fucking insane, go watch it.

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  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    that said I'm gonna a billion % unequivocally agree that turning it into episodes instead of a 45 minute movie was a horrifically stupid mistake because it absolutely skullfucks the flow of the thing, and with a movie that's such a purely experiential beast you really don't want to do that.

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  • THESPOOKYTHESPOOKY Registered User regular
    I'm definitely waiting for all of Blood Machines to release. I've watched the Turbo Killer music video enough times to equal a theatrical cut, so I am willing to wait and absorb it all t once with my jaw unhinged.

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  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Is it not all out at once?

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  • PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    "graciously offered" like the motherfucker didn't get paid

    Yeah sure fine.

    Its still ridiculous to paint him as the bad guy here and indicative of how off the rails this movement went.

    I will say from my moral high horse of liking josstice league and being interested in seeing the snyder cut, I think investing so much of your ego in a brand that you're going to post a video of you angrily destroying your justice league bluray is petty, but I don't think it's much better to be on the other side carefully following and judging the crimes of the ungrateful snyder cult as if they are seriously threatening the integrity of the artform

    I don't need to carefully follow the Snyder Cult to hear from/about them endlessly, I can unabashedly assure you

    I fuckin' wish I had no idea what they were up to or think

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  • webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    2011's Frightnight is on right now and stars Anton Yelchin, man I miss that dude, he looked to be having a lot of fun in his roles, and seemed just a straight up cool dude.

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  • AistanAistan Tiny Bat Registered User regular
    He was also a fucking amazing actor. Like his role in Thoroughbreds is fantastic and watching it you just wish he had had decades more time to be in stuff. God it sucks he's not around.

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  • FishmanFishman Good night, Westley; good work. Sleep well, I'll most likely kill you in the morning. Registered User regular
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    That's unbelievably cool. Your new name is cool guy. Let's have sex.
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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    3clipse wrote: »
    that said I'm gonna a billion % unequivocally agree that turning it into episodes instead of a 45 minute movie was a horrifically stupid mistake because it absolutely skullfucks the flow of the thing, and with a movie that's such a purely experiential beast you really don't want to do that.

    I kinda wonder if Shudder is trying to Castlevania it and get a series out of it if it proves popular? Or if its just standard goose the ratings by making it episodic.

    i would watch more of it tbh

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  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular


    I've decided I hate movies actually. Keep theaters closed forever and take down digital too with it

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Whats the incredibly sinister scene

  • AlphaRomeroAlphaRomero Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Whats the incredibly sinister scene

    He tattoos someone with the word "basic" right on their forehead

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Is it the one where the Joker goes peepee on a bible

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Ive got a movement for joker fans

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  • el_vicioel_vicio Registered User regular
    Hobnail wrote: »
    Whats the incredibly sinister scene

    He tattoos someone with the word "basic" right on their forehead

    This made me laugh way too hard

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    I propose complete damnatio memoriae against Jared Leto Joker

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited May 23
    Wait

    Did the joker do Piss Christ

    I looked it up to make sure he didnt and he didnt and man I am like shocked piss christ was from before I was born there must have been some sort of piss christ revival in the 90s or aughts

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    i would also like to see the suicide squad ayer cut

    i want to see every alternate cut

    just feed them to my veins. Every workprint. Every original ending

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Would you pay $100 to get into the David Ayer's Suicide Squad roadshow

  • JedocJedoc Take a look. It's in a book. It was always in a book, you fool.Registered User regular
    Gustav wrote: »
    i would also like to see the suicide squad ayer cut

    i want to see every alternate cut

    just feed them to my veins. Every workprint. Every original ending

    I want to see the Bette Davis cut of What Ever Happened To Baby Jane where she replaces Joan Crawford in every scene with the leftover CGI buttholes from Cats.

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  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    Platy wrote: »
    Would you pay $100 to get into the David Ayer's Suicide Squad roadshow

    absolutely not

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    I do not ever want to watch any version of Cats but I do very much want the butthole cut to be out in the wild it just seems wrong to withhold it

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  • StraightziStraightzi Here we may reign secure, and in my choice, To reign is worth ambition though in HellRegistered User regular
    Hobnail you should watch Cats

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  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    No known drugs of sufficient puissance exist

  • EmperorSethEmperorSeth Registered User regular
    Oh! Will we get the Uncanny Valley Sonic cut next?

    You know what? Nanowrimo's cancelled on account of the world is stupid.
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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Someone has to pay for that stuff

  • 3clipse3clipse I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    THESPOOKY wrote: »
    I'm definitely waiting for all of Blood Machines to release. I've watched the Turbo Killer music video enough times to equal a theatrical cut, so I am willing to wait and absorb it all t once with my jaw unhinged.

    The whole thing is out, it's just not sown together - you have to watch it as 3 episodes instead of a whole film.

    Gustav
  • Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    I would like no CGI cuts of movies, they’re neat.

    This isn’t quite a movie but this what I mean:

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  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Yeah i think a lot of these things fall afoul of what I’m going to call the Snakes on A Plane fallacy

    Where an idea is so gloriously stupid it gets people talking on the internet for a little bit, but by no means will any of them actually shell out money in a year or two to see it.

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  • Hexmage-PAHexmage-PA Registered User regular
    edited May 23
    knitdan wrote: »
    Yeah i think a lot of these things fall afoul of what I’m going to call the Snakes on A Plane fallacy

    Where an idea is so gloriously stupid it gets people talking on the internet for a little bit, but by no means will any of them actually shell out money in a year or two to see it.

    The problem with Snakes on a Plane is that Samuel L. Jackson wasn't playing himself and he didn't have some variation of "motherfucker" in every single one of his lines.

    "Stewardess, can I get a motherfucking Coke? I'm Samuel L. Jackson, motherfucker, and I want my motherfuckin' Coke."

    This could easily be rectified in "Snakes on a Plane 2: More Motherfuckin' Snakes on More Motherfuckin' Planes."

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  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    A lot of animators paid the price for Cats

  • GustavGustav Registered User regular
    The problem with Snakes on a Plane is that it was boring as sin

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