As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

[Bad News Gone Right]: Ow My Balls Edition

24567100

Posts

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Budweiser looks to become the state beer...of a state that doesn't really like beer:
    Budweiser launched a new campaign Monday seeking to become Utah’s first official state beer and promised to release a customized can if its plan goes through.

    In a video ad posted on YouTube, the self-proclaimed “King of Beers” argued that Utah has “a lot of official state things,” including cherries as the state’s official fruit, coal as its official rock and sego lily as the state flower.

    Utah has coal as its official state.rock?

    Is Utah known for coal mining or is this just a conservative thing?

    Utah is currently the 12th top coal producing state, but used to rank higher.

  • Options
    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    You know about the explosion at Beirut. Three thousand tons of ammonium nitrate went up, and hundreds died, thousands were injured, hundreds of thousands were made homeless, and that just set off conditions for an explosion of new COVID-19 cases and could be leading to a famine.

    If there's any silver lining, it's that a whole buncha other countries suddenly realized that they too have thousands of tons of ammonium nitrate just sitting around their ports and they oughta do something about that, like, right now. Eight hundred tons in Chennai. Three thousand tons in Dakar, Senegal. Romania just confiscated almost 9000 tons that had been illegally stored. The ports of the world were just dotted with bombs waiting to go off. At least the disaster made some places take it seriously.

  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    London Bridge isn't going down, my fair lady:
    Tower Bridge, one of London's most famous landmarks, was stuck open Saturday afternoon due to "mechanical failure," causing traffic chaos in the city.
    The 240 meter-long bridge, a staple of London's skyline and a popular tourist attraction, features a drawbridge type movable bridge, which lifts around 800 times a year to allow vessels to pass in the river below.
    But the landmark, which is near the Tower of London and spans the River Thames, remained "locked in a raised position for a period of time" on Saturday before later reopening to pedestrians, the bridge said in a statement.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    Hahnsoo1Hahnsoo1 Make Ready. We Hunt.Registered User regular
    London Bridge isn't going down, my fair lady:
    Tower Bridge, one of London's most famous landmarks, was stuck open Saturday afternoon due to "mechanical failure," causing traffic chaos in the city.
    The 240 meter-long bridge, a staple of London's skyline and a popular tourist attraction, features a drawbridge type movable bridge, which lifts around 800 times a year to allow vessels to pass in the river below.
    But the landmark, which is near the Tower of London and spans the River Thames, remained "locked in a raised position for a period of time" on Saturday before later reopening to pedestrians, the bridge said in a statement.
    If your bridge is in a raised and locked position for over 4 hours, call your doctor.

    8i1dt37buh2m.png
  • Options
    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    Bad news: a religious revival decides that the middle of a pandemic is the perfect time to have a tent revival of hundreds of people without masks.

    Gone right: God sends them a sign to knock that crap off. A giant wind blows down the tent and sends everything flying. Lightning even strikes by a truck. It's bad enough that bikers are riding around New Hampshire without religious nuts adding to the enplaguening.

    Of course, I doubt a single person who was there will accept this chastisement.

  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited August 2020
    Unfortunately the kind of person who might say, "God sent the storm to punish the gay," will recognize the inscrutable randomness of the weather when it happens to them.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    London Bridge isn't going down, my fair lady:
    Tower Bridge, one of London's most famous landmarks, was stuck open Saturday afternoon due to "mechanical failure," causing traffic chaos in the city.
    The 240 meter-long bridge, a staple of London's skyline and a popular tourist attraction, features a drawbridge type movable bridge, which lifts around 800 times a year to allow vessels to pass in the river below.
    But the landmark, which is near the Tower of London and spans the River Thames, remained "locked in a raised position for a period of time" on Saturday before later reopening to pedestrians, the bridge said in a statement.

    Wanna meet this bridge

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • Options
    PhyphorPhyphor Building Planet Busters Tasting FruitRegistered User regular
    God never acts to punish you because you are morally right and justified

    And God doesn't exist anyway

  • Options
    Magus`Magus` The fun has been DOUBLED! Registered User regular
    Phyphor wrote: »
    God never acts to punish you because you are morally right and justified

    And God doesn't exist anyway

    Heretic

  • Options
    Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    Phyphor wrote: »
    God never acts to punish you because you are morally right and justified

    Pretty much - anyone who is going to ascribe divine intervention in events would see a storm blowing their tent down as Satan trying to stop them and now their faith is stronger than ever. But if that other guy's tent blows down, it is totally God's will.

  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Sometimes, you just want to get really clean:
    A naked man has decided a Sunshine Coast car and dog wash would be the perfect place for a late-night shower.
    In video recorded on August 16, the man is seen receiving a high-pressure hose down from a mate in one of the washing bays.
    The owner of the car wash shared the footage on their Facebook page and wished the man a "speedy recovery".

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    London Bridge isn't going down, my fair lady:
    Tower Bridge, one of London's most famous landmarks, was stuck open Saturday afternoon due to "mechanical failure," causing traffic chaos in the city.
    The 240 meter-long bridge, a staple of London's skyline and a popular tourist attraction, features a drawbridge type movable bridge, which lifts around 800 times a year to allow vessels to pass in the river below.
    But the landmark, which is near the Tower of London and spans the River Thames, remained "locked in a raised position for a period of time" on Saturday before later reopening to pedestrians, the bridge said in a statement.

    I doubt it caused traffic chaos. It's London, the traffic would have already been chaos.

  • Options
    klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    You can easily add 'causes traffic chaos' to any story happening in London, and no-one will notice the addition.
    'Daniel Craig attends new movie premiere, causes traffic chaos'
    See?

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
  • Options
    Atlas in ChainsAtlas in Chains Registered User regular
    Sometimes, you just want to get really clean:
    A naked man has decided a Sunshine Coast car and dog wash would be the perfect place for a late-night shower.
    In video recorded on August 16, the man is seen receiving a high-pressure hose down from a mate in one of the washing bays.
    The owner of the car wash shared the footage on their Facebook page and wished the man a "speedy recovery".

    Why does he need a speedy recovery? If it's dog safe, wouldn't it be pretty man safe, too? Who goes out to power wash their dog?

  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Sometimes, you just want to get really clean:
    A naked man has decided a Sunshine Coast car and dog wash would be the perfect place for a late-night shower.
    In video recorded on August 16, the man is seen receiving a high-pressure hose down from a mate in one of the washing bays.
    The owner of the car wash shared the footage on their Facebook page and wished the man a "speedy recovery".

    Why does he need a speedy recovery? If it's dog safe, wouldn't it be pretty man safe, too? Who goes out to power wash their dog?

    There's a place like this here - the car and dog baths are very separate from one another.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Sometimes, you just want to get really clean:
    A naked man has decided a Sunshine Coast car and dog wash would be the perfect place for a late-night shower.
    In video recorded on August 16, the man is seen receiving a high-pressure hose down from a mate in one of the washing bays.
    The owner of the car wash shared the footage on their Facebook page and wished the man a "speedy recovery".

    Why does he need a speedy recovery? If it's dog safe, wouldn't it be pretty man safe, too? Who goes out to power wash their dog?

    I'm guessing less from the power wash and more from whatever their guess was that he got on himself to warrant a power washing

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • Options
    CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    Sometimes, you just want to get really clean:
    A naked man has decided a Sunshine Coast car and dog wash would be the perfect place for a late-night shower.
    In video recorded on August 16, the man is seen receiving a high-pressure hose down from a mate in one of the washing bays.
    The owner of the car wash shared the footage on their Facebook page and wished the man a "speedy recovery".

    Why does he need a speedy recovery? If it's dog safe, wouldn't it be pretty man safe, too? Who goes out to power wash their dog?

    I'm guessing less from the power wash and more from whatever their guess was that he got on himself to warrant a power washing

    Exfoliate like a Man(TM)

  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited August 2020
    Apparently, Auntie Beeb is quite serious about TV licenses:

    AngelHedgie on
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    This one's for @Jedoc and @timspork's ghost - librarian decides to tell school leadership how they felt with books, but the message goes unnoticed until an even more deserving target uses the message as a backdrop:



    Don't fuck with librarians, kids.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited August 2020
    From the twitter thread, the mystery fifth book is, "Exodus by Julie Bertagna: set in a dystopian future in which global warming has caused the oceans to rise and the heroes are dispossessed migrants desperately seeking refuge by boat."

    Trying to figure out how The Subtle Knife fits the overall theme, the rest are pretty obvious either from content or title.

    Hevach on
  • Options
    RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    From the twitter thread, the mystery fifth book is, "Exodus by Julie Bertagna: set in a dystopian future in which global warming has caused the oceans to rise and the heroes are dispossessed migrants desperately seeking refuge by boat."

    Trying to figure out how The Subtle Knife fits the overall theme, the rest are pretty obvious either from content or title.

    The world where the Subtle Knife is located destroyed itself with the irresponsible use of said knife?

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • Options
    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    Or since it is the first book, it expresses the intent of the other books: A subtle knife with which poke at the PM.

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • Options
    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    Hevach wrote: »
    From the twitter thread, the mystery fifth book is, "Exodus by Julie Bertagna: set in a dystopian future in which global warming has caused the oceans to rise and the heroes are dispossessed migrants desperately seeking refuge by boat."

    Trying to figure out how The Subtle Knife fits the overall theme, the rest are pretty obvious either from content or title.

    Overthrowing a repressive power structure?

    aTBDrQE.jpg
  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    If you are a public figure, this is why you should never wear chromakey green:

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Old man sees kid on driveway, takes appropriate measures:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xj-J0NUuk8

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    JragghenJragghen Registered User regular

  • Options
    Gnome-InterruptusGnome-Interruptus Registered User regular
    Jragghen wrote: »
    I was watching with the sound off and thought the lightning struck at the objections part of the ceremony

    steam_sig.png
    MWO: Adamski
  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Apparently, the weather in Essex is happy to see you:

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • Options
    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    In Sweden we'd call that "Kukväder". A bad weather related obscenity that has never been more apt.

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
  • Options
    Ark EvensongArk Evensong The NetherlandsRegistered User regular
    Easy there, your pareidolia is showing.

  • Options
    R-demR-dem Registered User regular
    In Sweden we'd call that "Kukväder". A bad weather related obscenity that has never been more apt.

    I never ever knew I needed a Swedish word in my life and vocabulary so badly until I read this. Thank you.

  • Options
    Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    /Honestly it looks like a pair of legs about to kick a really wicked field goal to me.

  • Options
    TNTrooperTNTrooper Registered User regular


    Pro streaming tip: If you are going to brag about how good you are during a stream make sure your cheat engine isn't visible.

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Easy there, your pareidolia is showing.

    And it looks like a face!

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Options
    Atlas in ChainsAtlas in Chains Registered User regular
    /Honestly it looks like a pair of legs about to kick a really wicked field goal to me.

    Great, now I see it. Thanks for ruining a perfectly great donger...

  • Options
    FoefallerFoefaller Registered User regular
    TNTrooper wrote: »


    Pro streaming tip: If you are going to brag about how good you are during a stream make sure your cheat engine isn't visible.

    Does he simply not see what he's streaming? Or was that what the "Oh God" at the end was about?

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    TNTrooperTNTrooper Registered User regular
    That long pause of silence was him looking at his screen and/or Twitch chat and realizing he fucked up big time.

    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    The Zombie PenguinThe Zombie Penguin Eternal Hungry Corpse Registered User regular
    This is why you make sure you lockdown what your streaming program can show

    And you know, don't cheat.

    Ideas hate it when you anthropomorphize them
    Steam: https://steamcommunity.com/id/TheZombiePenguin
    Stream: https://www.twitch.tv/thezombiepenguin/
    Switch: 0293 6817 9891
  • Options
    valhalla130valhalla130 13 Dark Shield Perceives the GodsRegistered User regular
    When the old thread was closed and before this one showed up, I was concerned d there wouldn't be one. You know. This being 2020 and all.

    asxcjbppb2eo.jpg
  • Options
    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    When the old thread was closed and before this one showed up, I was concerned d there wouldn't be one. You know. This being 2020 and all.

    It took a while to find a story that worked for launching a new thread.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
This discussion has been closed.