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Rambo...

RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
edited January 2008 in Social Entropy++
Or as I like to call it, the most unnecessarily violent movie made in the last ten years.

Having just viewed it and after having read some critics reviews I've decided to give a sound byte of my own, "Rambo is a red, white and blue cheeseburger erection that does not relent until everyone is properly fucked."

Roger Ebert can eat my shit. God bless this movie.

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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes so excited for this movie

    "Rambo" (2008)
    Total Body Count: 236
    Kill Count Per Minute: 2.59
    Torture Scenes: 3
    Time of First Death In Film: 3min 22sec
    Good Guys Killed: 113
    Bad Guys Killed By Rambo: 83
    Bad Guys Killed By Supporting Characters: 40

    lostwords on
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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    he vaporizes a fucking chinaman with a goddamn .50 cal gatling gun

    PiptheFair on
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    RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    RedTide on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    when is it supposed to be released?

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    It is out today, I just got back from a noon showing. Rank it is fucking glorious.

    RedTide on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    RedTide wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    fuck that, i will out-eat you on steak any day of the goddamn week.
    But I eat my steaks, I don't fuck them.

    Does being straight equate with wanting to fuck cows and/or their byproducts, then?

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    neville wrote: »
    RedTide wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    fuck that, i will out-eat you on steak any day of the goddamn week.
    But I eat my steaks, I don't fuck them.

    Does being straight equate with wanting to fuck cows and/or their byproducts, then?

    shit he cracked the code

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Don't forget the part where you kill them while your seed is still warm in their cow vajoos, wave it in the direction of a fire, and eat it extra rare.

    lostwords on
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    MolotovCockatooMolotovCockatoo Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Seein' it tonight, hell yes. Super excited. I also just watched Cop Land the other night, which I have decided is a criminally underrated movie. Seriously, it was great, all-star cast, awesome performances, good story. Sylvester Stallone in fine form. Oh yea and it was totally directed by the guy who did 3:10 to Yuma.

    MolotovCockatoo on
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    Killjoy wrote: »
    No jeez Orik why do you assume the worst about people?

    Because he moderates an internet forum

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    I heard that he shoots people in this one.

    The Geek on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    RedTide wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    fuck that, i will out-eat you on steak any day of the goddamn week.
    But I eat my steaks, I don't fuck them.

    Does being straight equate with wanting to fuck cows and/or their byproducts, then?

    shit he cracked the code

    The code of you all equating your ladies with fat heffers?
    Yeah, I decyphered it. But I thought women were things in general, not specific things like cows. Make up your mind, I'm so confused.

    t lostwords: :^:

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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    One Thousand CablesOne Thousand Cables An absence of thought Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Fucking fuck the closest movie theater isn't showing it now (it is showing Meet the Spartans, though :x).

    Hm. Question for those who have seen it: is it worth a two hour drive (both ways)?

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    RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    RedTide wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    fuck that, i will out-eat you on steak any day of the goddamn week.
    But I eat my steaks, I don't fuck them.

    Does being straight equate with wanting to fuck cows and/or their byproducts, then?

    shit he cracked the code

    Well I was trying to imply that after eating a steak us alpha male types are prone to getting a raging erection in the afterglow, but in all honesty I can live with this definition of reality just as well.

    RedTide on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    MolotovCockatoo wrote: »
    Seein' it tonight, hell yes. Super excited. I also just watched Cop Land the other night, which I have decided is a criminally underrated movie. Seriously, it was great, all-star cast, awesome performances, good story. Sylvester Stallone in fine form. Oh yea and it was totally directed by the guy who did 3:10 to Yuma.

    Cop Land is one of my favorites, and yes, it is exceptionally underrated, as is A Bronx Tale.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    One time I cooked a steak so good it earned me a blowjob.

    True story.

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    RedTideRedTide Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    One Thousand Dicks wrote: »
    Fucking fuck the closest movie theater isn't showing it now (it is showing Meet the Spartans, though :x).

    Hm. Question for those who have seen it: is it worth a two hour drive (both ways)?

    If watching Commando or either of the Rambo sequels is your idea of a good time, then yes.

    Yes it is.

    RedTide on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    he vaporizes a fucking chinaman with a goddamn .50 cal gatling gun

    Not the preferred nomenclature.

    Defender on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    wait a fucking second

    this movie is out?

    like, now?

    oh SNAP

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    RedTide wrote: »
    neville wrote: »
    I don't know what a "Cheeseburger" erection is.
    The only possible idea is how Uriel eats a cheeseburger and god I don't want to picture that.

    So in conclusion, gross.

    If you don't know you probably don't enjoy red meat as much as most men.

    Possibly on account of the gay, but our meat technicians haven't come to a hard conclusion yet.

    fuck that, i will out-eat you on steak any day of the goddamn week.
    But I eat my steaks, I don't fuck them.

    Does being straight equate with wanting to fuck cows and/or their byproducts, then?

    shit he cracked the code
    The matrix is crashing.

    naporeon on
    napsig4.jpg
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    Iron WeaselIron Weasel Dillon! You son of a bitch!Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Going with a bunch of friends to see this tonight. So stoked.

    I made the rror of reading the review in my local paper. Not that it was a bad review, but the fucking guy gave away a pretty hilarious-sounding kill. Now I won't be surprised when it happens :x

    Iron Weasel on
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    naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rankenphile wrote: »
    wait a fucking second

    this movie is out?

    like, now?

    oh SNAP
    Yeah.

    SNAP A BURMESE MILITANT'S NECK

    naporeon on
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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Muthafukkin' Rambo.

    Tonkka on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    I was kinda disappointed they just called it Rambo instead of giving it a rad secondary title

    what was wrong with any of these
    aka "Rambo: To Hell and Back" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo 4" - Singapore (English title)
    aka "Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: End of Peace" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: Holy War" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra" - USA (working title)
    aka "John Rambo" - USA (working title), France, Italy

    Knob on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    i may go to the movies tonight

    i am legend sucked, right?

    so it's either this, juno, or atonement

    Knob on
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    naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    I was kinda disappointed they just called it Rambo instead of giving it a rad secondary title

    what was wrong with any of these
    aka "Rambo: To Hell and Back" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo 4" - Singapore (English title)
    aka "Rambo IV: In the Serpent's Eye" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: End of Peace" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: Holy War" - USA (working title)
    aka "Rambo IV: Pearl of the Cobra" - USA (working title)
    aka "John Rambo" - USA (working title), France, Italy
    These titles seem a little....
    ...snake-related.

    naporeon on
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    ZephyrZephyr Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Knob wrote: »
    i may go to the movies tonight

    i am legend sucked, right?

    so it's either this, juno, or atonement

    juno is pretty funny

    if you don't get annoyed by the hip indiekid like references everywhere

    Zephyr on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    or cloverfield i guess

    Knob on
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    FalloutFallout GIRL'S DAY WAS PRETTY GOOD WHILE THEY LASTEDRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Rambo looks brutal as all hell and I will be seeing it asap

    I wanna see cloverfield really bad too

    Fuck Juno

    Fallout on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    http://www.gametrailers.com/player/29877.html

    EDIT: AVGN, which means NSFW.

    Defender on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    hey i have a copy of the rambo game

    ain't played it in years, but i remember it being kind of fun

    Knob on
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    bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes so excited for this movie

    "Rambo" (2008)
    Total Body Count: 236
    Kill Count Per Minute: 2.59
    Torture Scenes: 3
    Time of First Death In Film: 3min 22sec
    Good Guys Killed: 113
    Bad Guys Killed By Rambo: 83
    Bad Guys Killed By Supporting Characters: 40
    In picture form!

    rambo-kill-chart.jpg

    bombardier on
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    msuitepyonmsuitepyon Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    That last row is incorrect.

    The whole movie is a sex scene; I'm spooing in my pants every god damn second of every god damn movie.

    msuitepyon on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    only one dude died in first blood?

    huh

    i ain't seen that in a dog's age

    Knob on
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I remember Rambo on the NES sucking butt.

    Defender on
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    HitScanHitScan Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Defender wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    he vaporizes a fucking chinaman with a goddamn .50 cal gatling gun

    Not the preferred nomenclature.

    No doubt, its Mr. .50 Cal Gatling Gun, unless you're on really good terms.

    HitScan on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    That really is the best chart. I see now that the flaw in Rambo 3 was that it took too long to get to the killing. No matter how many dudes you kill, you gotta grab them from the get go.

    lostwords on
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    KnobKnob TURN THE BEAT BACK InternetModerator mod
    edited January 2008
    wait

    wait

    WAIT

    DFENEDER IS THE ANGRY NINTENDO NERD

    Knob on
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    potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i've never watched a rambo movie

    potatoe on
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    bombardierbombardier Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    i've never watched a rambo movie
    I have faint memories of the second one on Saturday afternoon Fox movie, but that's about it.

    bombardier on
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