What I've learned in 15 years of using chopsticks is that friggin' everyone uses chopsticks differently and if anyone says there's one right way of doing it they're a big liar
I worked with a dude who held them in the palm of his hand and would just open and close his fingers and could pick all kinds of shit up that way, that dude was a fuckin’ wizard.
If he were a wizard why not use them as wands to magic the food into his mouth?
Dude, I don’t fuckin’ try to interrogate wizards, I don’t wanna be a fuckin’ newt or some shit cuz I sassed a motherfuckin’ wizard.
DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited September 2020
was on the phone, keeping company with this friend I've been flirting hard with. Ideally it'd be more than idle flirtations, but we live in an age of distance and disease.
I loathe talking on the phone, which illuminates perhaps how fond of this person I am.
they drop "if your previous relationships had a song, what would it be?" which seems kinda like a Teen Cosmo Conversation Starters question but okay
I dunno what my answer was actually gonna be, but I opened my mouth and quietly sang, "I am drowning, there is no sign of land. You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand. And I hope you die, I hope we both die."
they are, thankfully, a fan of the Mountain Goats so appreciation of the reference overwhelmed the troubling message itself.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
I really am quite into them. they're a teacher! and so sweet and positive! thinking of them evokes a sense of comfort and contentment, and of these two resources I am always running short.
and they're the ex of my best friend which means it is both sneakier and sexier.
I learned when I was like11 that it was “European” style not to switch the fork back to the right hand to eat, and that was my first instance of my fat ass going “these Americans can eat my ass, I do what I want“ to justify something food related.
I gotta STOP eating to hold the fork in my right hand, hahaha, fuck you.
I have very little patience for people who critique other people’s utensil use but I am paranoid as hell about how I use chopsticks and bark like a fuckin’ trained seal when somebody compliments me on how I use them.
I am the lowest hypocrite that has ever lived.
See, my chopstick technique is terrible.
Why are they always so blunt? i just want to stab individual grains of rice
The only time it's felt appropriate to eat pizza with fork and knife is when it's covered in a million toppings and the slices are huge.
the only time it's appropriate to eat pizza with a knife and fork is whenever you have pizza and it's your preferred way of eating it
do it your own way, i'm not the food police
I am, and just for promoting a culture of tolerance with regard to food consumption methods, you could be arrested for aiding and abetting which can earn you up to ten years in the sausage slammer.
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Dude, I don’t fuckin’ try to interrogate wizards, I don’t wanna be a fuckin’ newt or some shit cuz I sassed a motherfuckin’ wizard.
I’m very curious what a “Norse” way of holding cutlery is. I don’t think we do it differently.
i eat with my hands and feet like god intended
Also shave with it if'n I ever did shave.
*spits*
Kill't a baar with it.
This is the only way to eat
Rip and tear until it is done
If they didn't fork and spoon where the hell did Cain and Abel (and Seth) come from?
They were bused in.
Yeah, it was super weird
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
fists, utensils coming out the bottom, heavy scowl
I can't really describe the weird finger gymnastics I do to hold chopsticks, but it works.
oh I also hold drinks with my pinky extended just a tad, and tea and coffee mugs are always held in two hands and sipped
what about me!
it's awkward to hold a knife in my wrong hand!
I loathe talking on the phone, which illuminates perhaps how fond of this person I am.
they drop "if your previous relationships had a song, what would it be?" which seems kinda like a Teen Cosmo Conversation Starters question but okay
I dunno what my answer was actually gonna be, but I opened my mouth and quietly sang, "I am drowning, there is no sign of land. You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand. And I hope you die, I hope we both die."
they are, thankfully, a fan of the Mountain Goats so appreciation of the reference overwhelmed the troubling message itself.
and they're the ex of my best friend which means it is both sneakier and sexier.
I’m not a fan of utensil essentialism.
Utensilentialism.
I gotta STOP eating to hold the fork in my right hand, hahaha, fuck you.
Just smh if you’re not making sure to squirt the ketchup into your mouth first like an actual civilised person
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
See, my chopstick technique is terrible.
Why are they always so blunt? i just want to stab individual grains of rice
Splayds and sporks for everyone!
I'm not much of a squirter.
I like to keep my meat dry.
For every bite, of course.
Shit was rough at my house before Costco.
Rip Drez’s meat.
Really brings out the flavour
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
the only time it's appropriate to eat pizza with a knife and fork is whenever you have pizza and it's your preferred way of eating it
do it your own way, i'm not the food police
HMMMmmm... that's exactly what the food police would say
Steam ID - VeldrinD | SS Post | Wishlist
didn't that one duck say that a lot?
I am, and just for promoting a culture of tolerance with regard to food consumption methods, you could be arrested for aiding and abetting which can earn you up to ten years in the sausage slammer.