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It's time to not talk about Outlaws in [chat]

2456798

Posts

  • KrathoonKrathoon Registered User regular
    You think you want a monkey, but you don't want one. They tend to flip out.

  • SixSix Caches Tweets in the mainframe cyberhex Registered User regular
    Don't get a monkey.

    can you feel the struggle within?
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    404449_112014-cc-marmoset-pg-main-img.jpg?w=1600

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?

  • EddyEddy Gengar the Bittersweet Registered User regular
    monkeys are so disturbing to me

    the whole venture is uncanny

    "and the morning stars I have seen
    and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?

    03f3b42e78b8fbbb7741f18097b8ce69.jpg

  • KrathoonKrathoon Registered User regular
    Now I got out Kagero: Deception II. I might as well play Deception IV.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Winky society is willing to meet you halfway and will allow you to have a primate.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Quid wrote: »
    Winky society is willing to meet you halfway and will allow you to have a primate.

    Do not give me a chimpanzee I don't want that shit anywhere near me

  • BethrynBethryn Unhappiness is Mandatory Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?
    Wow, it's like you want me to link you Nature videos of monkeys murdering various other creatures for fun and games.

    ...and of course, as always, Kill Hitler.
  • Nova_CNova_C I have the need The need for speedRegistered User regular
    Was Outbreak the move where Dustin Hoffman played a reporter?

    I think so. I remember him being in a movie where he plays a reporter. And it was ridiculous because Dustin Hoffman mumbles, so he would never, ever, be a reporter on a live news show.

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Quid wrote: »
    Winky society is willing to meet you halfway and will allow you to have a primate.

    Just need to have sex with someone with ovaries a few times.

  • ZephiranZephiran Registered User regular
    Alright and in this next scene all the animals have AIDS.

    I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Bethryn wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?
    Wow, it's like you want me to link you Nature videos of monkeys murdering various other creatures for fun and games.

    Look, I believe that they are horrible creatures, but what is a shrew-sized animal gonna do to me really?

  • emnmnmeemnmnme Registered User regular
    Nova_C wrote: »
    Was Outbreak the move where Dustin Hoffman played a reporter?

    I think so. I remember him being in a movie where he plays a reporter. And it was ridiculous because Dustin Hoffman mumbles, so he would never, ever, be a reporter on a live news show.

    No. He was a reporter in Tootsie, though?

  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?

    They just be on top of your bookcase wanking aggressively at you at the time

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    Winky I think you should get a monkey

  • BethrynBethryn Unhappiness is Mandatory Registered User regular
    Kamiro wrote: »
    Bethryn wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?
    Wow, it's like you want me to link you Nature videos of monkeys murdering various other creatures for fun and games.

    we talking monkeys or cats?
    I can't believe I'm saying this, but monkeys (and other various primates, chimps especially) are so much worse.

    ...and of course, as always, Kill Hitler.
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/sep/13/the-tale-of-the-killer-whales
    The crew waited a tense hour and a half for rescue – perhaps understandably, the coastguard took time to comprehend (“You are saying you are under attack from orca?”). To say this is unusual is to massively understate it. By the time help arrived, the orcas were gone. The boat was towed to Barbate, where it was lifted to reveal the rudder missing its bottom third and outer layer, and teeth marks along the underside.

    Rocío Espada works with the marine biology laboratory at the University of Seville and has observed this migratory population of orca in the Gibraltar Straits for years. She was astonished. “For killer whales to take out a piece of a fibreglass rudder is crazy,” she says. “I’ve seen these orcas grow from babies, I know their life stories, I’ve never seen or heard of attacks.”

    The humans are weakened, now is the time to strike

  • Kid PresentableKid Presentable Registered User regular
    didn't you just recently get a job?
    treat yourself, king!

  • Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    I think that absolute best case, your pet monkey is pissing and shitting everywhere and ripping apart your home. Even non-aggressive little monkeys are nightmares.

    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Bethryn wrote: »
    Kamiro wrote: »
    Bethryn wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    These monkeys are tiny what is the worst they could do?
    Wow, it's like you want me to link you Nature videos of monkeys murdering various other creatures for fun and games.

    we talking monkeys or cats?
    I can't believe I'm saying this, but monkeys (and other various primates, chimps especially) are so much worse.

    I mean let's not equate chimpanzees and, like, tamarins.

    Chimpanzees are sociopathic killers that are twice the strength of a man.

    Tamarins are also possibly sociopathic killers that you could crush in your palm.

  • QuidQuid Definitely not a banana Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    Quid wrote: »
    Winky society is willing to meet you halfway and will allow you to have a primate.

    Do not give me a chimpanzee I don't want that shit anywhere near me

    Oh, no, those are endangered.

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Okay fine you guys convinced me I'll just get a tiger

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Get a cheetah. Cheetahs are small cats

  • Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    edited September 2020
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    Donkey Kong on
    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Couscous wrote: »
    Get a cheetah. Cheetahs are small cats

    I imagine you have to take them out running a lot?

  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    Relates back to the idea that dogs are great pets explicitly because they are so dumb and if we started making them smarter or more humanlike our relationship would become more and more upsetting

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    All the feral domesticated monkeys running around.

  • AbdhyiusAbdhyius Registered User regular
    in norwegian, ape is ape, monkey is apekatt, apecat

    this, you will agree, makes sense

    ftOqU21.png
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    Could we train the monkeys to go and pick up pizza so we can get those sweet collection deals without having to put on shoes?

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Couscous wrote: »
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    All the feral domesticated monkeys running around.

    I mean, we already have a feral monkey problem in like every city where they live naturally don't we?

  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    All the feral domesticated monkeys running around.

    I mean, we already have a feral monkey problem in like every city where they live naturally don't we?

    No. Those aren't feral. They are just wild monkeys.

  • Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    edited September 2020
    I feel like training a domesticated monkey to go get your takeaway would be like training a 5 year old to do the same.

    Not exactly 100% safe for the animal, your food would definitely be dropped a few times, maybe some choice bites stolen, it would take a while as they got sidetracked. But largely it would work.

    Donkey Kong on
    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
  • CouscousCouscous Registered User regular
    Would they be able to do dangerous work in factories like five year olds?

  • zepherinzepherin Russian warship, go fuck yourself Registered User regular
    New Oglaf I think it’s safe for work. I did a dick check.

  • IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    edited September 2020
    Couscous wrote: »
    Would they be able to do dangerous work in factories like five year olds?

    No, because monkeys are precious property and therefor must be protected.

    Incenjucar on
  • WinkyWinky rRegistered User regular
    Couscous wrote: »
    Winky wrote: »
    Couscous wrote: »
    If we started a program to domesticate monkeys, within 200 years or so we'd have viable pets. I think it could probably be done. But it would be so unnerving that I am not sure we could handle it.

    These little proto-humans in our houses: wearing collars, using the toilet, answering the door with their little hands that can work our technology, doing tricks for food in front of company. PeTA would just gesture broadly and be like: "SEE! WE TOLD YOU THIS WHOLE CONCEPT WAS REALLY FUCKED UP!"

    All the feral domesticated monkeys running around.

    I mean, we already have a feral monkey problem in like every city where they live naturally don't we?

    No. Those aren't feral. They are just wild monkeys.

    I'm not sure what term describes what I mean; when animals who are wild begin living in human environments without domestication?

  • Donkey KongDonkey Kong Putting Nintendo out of business with AI nips Registered User regular
    Domesticating apes rather than monkeys would be outright upsetting. I don't think we could complete the process without the whole enterprise being derailed by a moral crisis.

    Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
  • ZephiranZephiran Registered User regular
    Alright and in this next scene all the animals have AIDS.

    I got a little excited when I saw your ship.
This discussion has been closed.