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[Bad News Gone Right]: Ow My Balls Edition

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    Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    edited September 2020
    A classic regional news story from the UK- Lincolnshire Wildlife Park: Swearing parrots removed from view

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-54340425?fbclid=IwAR0gED_wOpNHfA89pvKEUeMIdVBD5lr0H-VFWMbk3g-S_77vGx4v6ssbxsc
    "I'm hoping they learn different words within colonies - but if they teach the others bad language and I end up with 250 swearing birds, I don't know what we'll do," he added.

    Jam Warrior on
    MhCw7nZ.gif
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    emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    Not going to lie when I read they were shipped to the colonies I assumed they were sent to the US or Australia

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    VishNubVishNub Registered User regular


    DONT FORGET TO VOTE (for holly)

    https://explore.org/fat-bear-week

    tytt64zv5u5w.png

    ej5wrdgu94n4.png

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    FryFry Registered User regular
    Wow, I did not know they visibly changed that much over just three months. Makes sense, I guess, if they're putting on a lot of weight, but still. Wow!

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    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    Maybe Fat Bear Week should have its own thread?

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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    CalicaCalica Registered User regular
    edited September 2020
    A classic regional news story from the UK- Lincolnshire Wildlife Park: Swearing parrots removed from view

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-54340425?fbclid=IwAR0gED_wOpNHfA89pvKEUeMIdVBD5lr0H-VFWMbk3g-S_77vGx4v6ssbxsc
    "I'm hoping they learn different words within colonies - but if they teach the others bad language and I end up with 250 swearing birds, I don't know what we'll do," he added.

    Parrots are like kids in that they swear because they get funny reactions. And they absolutely do teach each other bad language. This should be interesting :biggrin:

    Calica on
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    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Calica wrote: »
    A classic regional news story from the UK- Lincolnshire Wildlife Park: Swearing parrots removed from view

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-54340425?fbclid=IwAR0gED_wOpNHfA89pvKEUeMIdVBD5lr0H-VFWMbk3g-S_77vGx4v6ssbxsc
    "I'm hoping they learn different words within colonies - but if they teach the others bad language and I end up with 250 swearing birds, I don't know what we'll do," he added.

    Parrots are like kids in that they swear because they get funny reactions. And they absolutely do teach each other bad language. This should be interesting :biggrin:

    Culture in animals is really interesting. I remember hearing that cats pick up enough social cues from their surroundings that not only do feral cats who originally lived with humans make more noises than purely feral animals, but their kittens are more vocal than kittens of quiet mothers.

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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Because today has been utter shit and I need some absurdist humor at the moment, I give you from the Internet of Things file Internet-enabled male chastity cage can be remotely locked by hackers:
    A security flaw in an internet-enabled male chastity device allows hackers to remotely control the gadget and permanently lock in wearers, researchers disclosed today.

    The Cellmate Chastity Cage, built by Chinese firm Qiui, lets users hand over access to their genitals to a partner who can lock and unlock the cage remotely using an app. But multiple flaws in the app’s design mean “anyone could remotely lock all devices and prevent users from releasing themselves,” according to UK security firm Pen Test Partners.

    Even worse, as the chastity cage does not come with a manual override or physical key, locked-in users have few options to break out. One is to cut through the cage’s hardened steel shackle, an operation that would require bolt cutters or an angle grinder, and that is made trickier by the fact that the shackle in question is fastened tightly around the wearer’s testicles. The other, discovered by Pen Test Partners, is to overload the circuit board that controls the lock’s motor with three volts of electricity (around two AA batteries’ worth).

    Imagine this combined with ransomware.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    JragghenJragghen Registered User regular
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    ShivahnShivahn Unaware of her barrel shifter privilege Western coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderator mod
    Thank god for penetration testing, I guess!

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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    In IoT, S stands for security

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    PhotosaurusPhotosaurus Bay Area, CARegistered User regular
    In IoT, S stands for security

    "I mean, it's just a lightbulb, I'm sure the default password is fine."

    "If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."
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    CambiataCambiata Commander Shepard The likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered User regular
    Because today has been utter shit and I need some absurdist humor at the moment, I give you from the Internet of Things file Internet-enabled male chastity cage can be remotely locked by hackers:
    A security flaw in an internet-enabled male chastity device allows hackers to remotely control the gadget and permanently lock in wearers, researchers disclosed today.

    The Cellmate Chastity Cage, built by Chinese firm Qiui, lets users hand over access to their genitals to a partner who can lock and unlock the cage remotely using an app. But multiple flaws in the app’s design mean “anyone could remotely lock all devices and prevent users from releasing themselves,” according to UK security firm Pen Test Partners.

    Even worse, as the chastity cage does not come with a manual override or physical key, locked-in users have few options to break out. One is to cut through the cage’s hardened steel shackle, an operation that would require bolt cutters or an angle grinder, and that is made trickier by the fact that the shackle in question is fastened tightly around the wearer’s testicles. The other, discovered by Pen Test Partners, is to overload the circuit board that controls the lock’s motor with three volts of electricity (around two AA batteries’ worth).

    Imagine this combined with ransomware.

    Holy shit, do NOT give access to your genitals internet access!

    "If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Cambiata wrote: »
    Because today has been utter shit and I need some absurdist humor at the moment, I give you from the Internet of Things file Internet-enabled male chastity cage can be remotely locked by hackers:
    A security flaw in an internet-enabled male chastity device allows hackers to remotely control the gadget and permanently lock in wearers, researchers disclosed today.

    The Cellmate Chastity Cage, built by Chinese firm Qiui, lets users hand over access to their genitals to a partner who can lock and unlock the cage remotely using an app. But multiple flaws in the app’s design mean “anyone could remotely lock all devices and prevent users from releasing themselves,” according to UK security firm Pen Test Partners.

    Even worse, as the chastity cage does not come with a manual override or physical key, locked-in users have few options to break out. One is to cut through the cage’s hardened steel shackle, an operation that would require bolt cutters or an angle grinder, and that is made trickier by the fact that the shackle in question is fastened tightly around the wearer’s testicles. The other, discovered by Pen Test Partners, is to overload the circuit board that controls the lock’s motor with three volts of electricity (around two AA batteries’ worth).

    Imagine this combined with ransomware.

    Holy shit, do NOT give access to your genitals internet access!

    But then how would Only Fans work?

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    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    Wait. Who made the thread title several weeks ago and HOW COULD THEY PREDICT THE FUTURE?!?

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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    BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    Because today has been utter shit and I need some absurdist humor at the moment, I give you from the Internet of Things file Internet-enabled male chastity cage can be remotely locked by hackers:
    A security flaw in an internet-enabled male chastity device allows hackers to remotely control the gadget and permanently lock in wearers, researchers disclosed today.

    The Cellmate Chastity Cage, built by Chinese firm Qiui, lets users hand over access to their genitals to a partner who can lock and unlock the cage remotely using an app. But multiple flaws in the app’s design mean “anyone could remotely lock all devices and prevent users from releasing themselves,” according to UK security firm Pen Test Partners.

    Even worse, as the chastity cage does not come with a manual override or physical key, locked-in users have few options to break out. One is to cut through the cage’s hardened steel shackle, an operation that would require bolt cutters or an angle grinder, and that is made trickier by the fact that the shackle in question is fastened tightly around the wearer’s testicles. The other, discovered by Pen Test Partners, is to overload the circuit board that controls the lock’s motor with three volts of electricity (around two AA batteries’ worth).

    Imagine this combined with ransomware.

    All your balls are belong to us!

    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
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    RMS OceanicRMS Oceanic Registered User regular
    Wait. Who made the thread title several weeks ago and HOW COULD THEY PREDICT THE FUTURE?!?

    This year is balls for balls

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    FryFry Registered User regular
    I wonder how big the Pen Test Partners firm is?

    I'd guess around 15

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    furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    sig.gif Gamertag: KL Retribution
    PSN:Furlion
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    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    Steam ID: Webguy20
    Origin ID: Discgolfer27
    Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
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    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Are you aware that the first predator drones used basically an unencrypted link for their controls....and that their video feeds were unencrypted up until a scandal in 2009? There are a lot of people who make stuff that should be concerned about security that are not.

    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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    AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    You think you're talking in hypotheticals here, but (or more like butt) there was a presentation on the security issues with a Bluetooth enabled plug popular with cammers (because it could be set up for remote control by viewers.)

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
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    furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    You think you're talking in hypotheticals here, but (or more like butt) there was a presentation on the security issues with a Bluetooth enabled plug popular with cammers (because it could be set up for remote control by viewers.)

    Honestly now that I think about it, sex toys are probably one of the best use cases for IoT stuff. Long distance relationships are pretty common, isolated due to covid-19, plus sex workers giving private streams could all make really good use of them.

    Just imagine the first major DDoS attack against a super power carried about by a combination of butt plugs and vibrators. The future is really here.

    sig.gif Gamertag: KL Retribution
    PSN:Furlion
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    EchoEcho ski-bap ba-dapModerator mod
    "Sir, the cyber attack is coming from ten million buttplugs."

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    FiendishrabbitFiendishrabbit Registered User regular
    edited October 2020
    Echo wrote: »
    "Sir, the cyber attack is coming from ten million buttplugs."

    It's an Alternating Script Strike!

    Fiendishrabbit on
    "The western world sips from a poisonous cocktail: Polarisation, populism, protectionism and post-truth"
    -Antje Jackelén, Archbishop of the Church of Sweden
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    EncEnc A Fool with Compassion Pronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered User regular
    “Sir, we’re fucked.”

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    furlionfurlion Riskbreaker Lea MondeRegistered User regular
    Man the porn just writes itself.

    sig.gif Gamertag: KL Retribution
    PSN:Furlion
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    DibbitDibbit Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    Man the porn just writes itself.

    "Help Stepbrother, My wifi password has been reset and I'm stuck!

    wha....what are you doing, stepbrother?"

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    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    "This is the Lockpicking Lawyer and I've got something very exciting for you today..."

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    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    I don't get who would want that device? Incels? Mormons?

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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    HevachHevach Registered User regular
    edited October 2020
    I don't get who would want that device? Incels? Mormons?

    You know the old joke, "When you're married, it's ALWAYS the same sex"? There's two options for that boredom - equally mediocre sex outside the marriage or creativity. You pick option B and it's all escalation from there. First its fuzzy handcuffs and a feather duster, then it's golf clubs and a ball gag, few years later you have to come up with a plausible explanation for having a welder come mount shackles and a drill press to your stripper pole.
    Just as an example: An SO might lock their partner in something like this before leaving for a day and send dirty texts all day to torment them, then make them "earn" release when they get home.


    Always remember, safety first where genitals are involved. Make sure no matter what happens, you can get out of a toy or retrieve it from where you stuck it. Even if this toy couldn't be hacked, it lacks an emergency release. You WILL end up in the news or the annual "things ER doctors pulled out of people's butts" list.

    Hevach on
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    SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Dibbit wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Man the porn just writes itself.

    "Help Stepbrother, My wifi password has been reset and I'm stuck!

    wha....what are you doing, stepbrother?"
    "How was the weekend, Bob?"
    "Oh you know, spent it pen-testing."

    sig.gif
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    DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    I don't get who would want that device? Incels? Mormons?

    Oh my sweet summer child...

    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
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    KupiKupi Registered User regular
    furlion wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    You think you're talking in hypotheticals here, but (or more like butt) there was a presentation on the security issues with a Bluetooth enabled plug popular with cammers (because it could be set up for remote control by viewers.)

    Honestly now that I think about it, sex toys are probably one of the best use cases for IoT stuff. Long distance relationships are pretty common, isolated due to covid-19, plus sex workers giving private streams could all make really good use of them.

    Just imagine the first major DDoS attack against a super power carried about by a combination of butt plugs and vibrators. The future is really here.

    The formal term for this I've heard used is "teledildonics".

    My favorite musical instrument is the air-raid siren.
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    OrcaOrca Also known as Espressosaurus WrexRegistered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    You think you're talking in hypotheticals here, but (or more like butt) there was a presentation on the security issues with a Bluetooth enabled plug popular with cammers (because it could be set up for remote control by viewers.)

    Honestly now that I think about it, sex toys are probably one of the best use cases for IoT stuff. Long distance relationships are pretty common, isolated due to covid-19, plus sex workers giving private streams could all make really good use of them.

    Just imagine the first major DDoS attack against a super power carried about by a combination of butt plugs and vibrators. The future is really here.

    The formal term for this I've heard used is "teledildonics".

    Which I read on an obvious satire website back in 2000.

    The world just needed to catch up to it...

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    chromdomchromdom Who? Where?Registered User regular
    Kupi wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    webguy20 wrote: »
    furlion wrote: »
    Honestly even though I knew there were remote control over internet sex toys, their security never occurred to me. I guess neither did the people who made them.

    Just think of doing a wifi (or bluetooth) scan and picking up an egg and being able to turn it on in lets say a restaurant setting and watching to see a man or woman twitch. If I had something inserted in me I would certainly want to make sure it was locked down. In the heat of the moment though? Yea I could see forgetting to reset the password.

    You think you're talking in hypotheticals here, but (or more like butt) there was a presentation on the security issues with a Bluetooth enabled plug popular with cammers (because it could be set up for remote control by viewers.)

    Honestly now that I think about it, sex toys are probably one of the best use cases for IoT stuff. Long distance relationships are pretty common, isolated due to covid-19, plus sex workers giving private streams could all make really good use of them.

    Just imagine the first major DDoS attack against a super power carried about by a combination of butt plugs and vibrators. The future is really here.

    The formal term for this I've heard used is "teledildonics".

    A friend of mine used to work for a company that was doing force feedback stuff, primarily for remote surgeries and the like. Because of the obvious other uses, they formed a small LLC and went to an adult industry con to see if it was a market worth pursuing for them. I didn't get the impression that anyone there was naïve, but after the one visit, they decided it was a market they didn't really want to go after.

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    Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    To recall a line I saw attributed to one of the designers of the original Japanese electric bidet toilet seat, "Your day becomes nothing but anuses."

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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Much like working in customer service, then

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    klemmingklemming Registered User regular
    Orca wrote: »
    Which I read on an obvious satire website back in 2000.

    The world just needed to catch up to it...

    I've come to believe that all satire is just waiting for the world to catch up

    Nobody remembers the singer. The song remains.
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    NitsuaNitsua Gloucester, VARegistered User regular
    edited October 2020
    TSR on this very board was really into teledlildonics.. it’s where I first heard the term. Probably was in the VR threads before the Oculus started putting out testing units and such. Crazy times.

    Nitsua on
This discussion has been closed.