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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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Posts

  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    while attempting to pick up some trash with my toes, I thought, I could admit defeat
    then I snared it and thought, but I would rather claim victory with defeat

  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Make someone in your life mad with this

    "I bet you a dollar I can guess where you got your shoes"
    You got em on your feet

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    From Carrot Weather:

    What do farmers use to fix a pumpkin?
    A pumpkin patch
    .

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    I was having trouble staying alert so I chugged a Monster earlier.

    Unfortunately now my taste buds have turned into taste bros.

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Yeah "Cluedo" is literally just a pun based on Ludo. That's it.

    The pun wouldn't work in America so here it's just Clue.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    knitdan wrote: »
    I can’t recall if it’s the line “the game’s afoot” or “elementary, my dear Watson” or both that never appears in a Conan Doyle-authored Sherlock Holmes work.

    IIRC they come entirely from one of the TV or film adaptations and yet they are indelibly linked to the property now.

    https://youtu.be/xst0a-_v9Dg

    BLM - ACAB
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    My roommate's cat, Jinx. She's so cute and soft I enthusiastically greet her every day!
    SWh9xo7.jpg

    Hi, Jinx!

    KQmlpp2.jpg

    To which she says
    SHENANIGANS!

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    Yeah "Cluedo" is literally just a pun based on Ludo. That's it.

    The pun wouldn't work in America so here it's just Clue.

    These posts are giving me Cluedo narrative dissonance.

  • Ark EvensongArk Evensong The NetherlandsRegistered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    Yeah "Cluedo" is literally just a pun based on Ludo. That's it.

    The pun wouldn't work in America so here it's just Clue.

    These posts are giving me Cluedo narrative dissonance.

    Pretty sure that pun doesn't work over here in the Netherlands either, but that's our name for it too. Except, it's pronounced as Clu-edo, with three syllables. And it's only this thread that made me realize that isn't the case in English. Huh.

    Sorry, no bad joke here, unless you wanna talk about my country's mangling of loan words.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    As ludo is "I play" in Latin, board game manufacturers should have leant into it for all UK versions of board games

    Monopoludo
    Ludoperation
    Buckarudo
    Ludiplomacy

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    facetious wrote: »
    Yeah "Cluedo" is literally just a pun based on Ludo. That's it.

    The pun wouldn't work in America so here it's just Clue.

    These posts are giving me Cluedo narrative dissonance.

    Pretty sure that pun doesn't work over here in the Netherlands either, but that's our name for it too. Except, it's pronounced as Clu-edo, with three syllables. And it's only this thread that made me realize that isn't the case in English. Huh.

    Sorry, no bad joke here, unless you wanna talk about my country's mangling of loan words.

    same here in Germany

  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    English doesn't have problems with loan words only because they kidnap them, mangle them, and keep them forever

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Virtually unrecognizable, it’s true.

  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    There's an article on my employer's intranet celebrating World Statistics Day entitled "Stats the way (I like it)"

    I want to meet them and kiss them on the mouth

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    There's an article on my employer's intranet celebrating World Statistics Day entitled "Stats the way (I like it)"

    I want to meet them and kiss them on the mouth

    Eh, you'll need to kiss more than them for a proper sample.

    Steam: Polaritie
    3DS: 0473-8507-2652
    Switch: SW-5185-4991-5118
    PSN: AbEntropy
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    There's an article on my employer's intranet celebrating World Statistics Day entitled "Stats the way (I like it)"

    I want to meet them and kiss them on the mouth

    You may think that means you're some kind of original romantic but you're more of just a standard deviant.

    BLM - ACAB
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    edited October 2020
    I saw a young boy crying by himself today, couldn't have been more than 3 or 4.
    I went up and asked him "What's wrong? Do you know where your parents are?"
    In response the young boy started crying even harder, big fat tears rolling down his cheeks.
    Anyway, that's how I got fired from the orphanage, how's your day been?

    see317 on
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    I just realized the word "wholesome" is an oxymoron.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited October 2020
    Also today I was given a behind the scenes tour of my museum's static gallery museum by the woman who runs the operations. It recently reopened after a huge renovation and some exhibits are still yet to be installed. They were working on one gallery, and when one of my colleagues asked what was going in there, she said, "Clocks." After some discussion she added, "That's the one exhibit that has to be on time."

    (As per usual, this and my previous post are both true stories.)

    facetious on
    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    How do mathematicians scold their children?
    If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times...

  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?

    He took 1/50th of the recommended dose.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    C3IBbH5.jpg

  • H3KnucklesH3Knuckles But we decide which is right and which is an illusion.Registered User regular
    edited October 2020
    Aw, boo, the image was removed.

    H3Knuckles on
    If you're curious about my icon; it's an update of the early Lego Castle theme's "Black Falcons" faction.
    camo_sig2-400.png
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades Class Traitor Smoke-filled roomRegistered User regular
    b09pv4kcm264.jpeg

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    bvu24kq.jpeg

    4YoXGnj.jpg

  • PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    The Dragon with the Girl Tattoo is a Bob's Burgers joke from like 2013!

  • TaminTamin Registered User regular
    edited October 2020
    AwP0bWy.jpg

    The book was published in 2010, so

    Tamin on
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    Did you know Henry VIII was an avid sportsman? He loved tennis, jousting, an' bowlin'.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    ohM41ma.png

    Big Hart, small Johnson.

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Me IRL:

    EDnK0pO.jpg

  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I came up with a great new sport variant. You give a couple of UFC guys some molly right before the fight.

    I call it MDMMA

    BLM - ACAB
  • Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Hug it out, bi-atch!

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    My original plan for 2020 was to sail in the worlds smallest ship but I had to bottle it.

  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited November 2020
    stolen from QI and slightly modified

    what can fly and sounds like a blue whale?
    a blue quail

    Houk the Namebringer on
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot

    What's gold and sounds like a pirate?
    Pyrite

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • RingoRingo He/Him a distinct lack of substanceRegistered User regular
    Oh noooo

    Sterica wrote: »
    I know my last visit to my grandpa on his deathbed was to find out how the whole Nazi werewolf thing turned out.
    Edcrab's Exigency RPG
  • Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot

    this was literally the response to my joke on the show lol

  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Id have to change my name to be Frank.

    Bedlam on
This discussion has been closed.