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[Thanksgiving] Is Upon Us

XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
Well, it's that time of year again .... only this time the year is 2020. What do we have to be thankful for this year? Not as much as usual I know.

In the spirit of the holiday though, I will list what I am most thankful for.

#1 My incredible girlfriend who I plan to soon make my incredible fiance (if she agrees)!
#2 (Fitting number) For my incredible, wonderful, horrible, amazing, insane, bizarre, talented, lazy, perfect children. I love them so much. If they would turn in their damn school work it'd be nice.
#3 Like 87% of my family and friends. The ones who didn't turn out to be closet fascists. I guess that's a pretty great ratio, though sometimes it doesn't seem like it.
#4 Penny Arcade Forums. You all are the best. I look forward to this thread every year
#5 Frenchs Crispy Fried Onions obviously

Everything else falls somewhere below that

So lets get to the meat (aAhhahah AHHAHAHHHAHHA) of the thread.

HARD
CORE
FOOD
PORN

(no, not that kind)

Thanksgiving is NOTHING without turkey. You may all gather together in love and friendship, but eventually everyone will be hungry and will be angry if a perfectly cooked turkey isn't on that table. boy howdy. It should look like this. I don't know what the heck is going on with the serving plate though. It's possibly a turkey from another dimension.
ezwdzqiviwwy.jpg

Equally as important are the sides! (More important if I'm being honest with myself)
Mashed Po-fucking-tatoes!
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Stuffing! This will be made this year using sausage from my newly constructed smoke shack!
vzxtwuw5rfk7.jpg
That was a TRAP and you fell for it! It's called dressing if it wasn't cooked in the vacant carcass of an animal. I've got my eye on you people. I'll call the Thanksgiving Police on the lot of you.

Stuffed Mushrooms!
92upsjji76wy.jpg

Roasted Carrots with .... slivered almonds and dried cranberries .... I guess? Looks damn good though.
pg83hwsndd45.jpg

Pearl Onions and Bacon! A match made in heaven! (add peas if desired)
t7g8p412blv7.jpg

Slather up the entire plate with a goodly helping of gravy!
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Now top the gravy with a fist full of sin!
hpcshg3uwwl9.jpg

If you've got room (you do .... trust me), slice off a big ole piece of pumpkin pie and whipped cream (or sweet potato pie) (or both)
ynwa3p6wagle.jpg

MST3k is doing its thing again this year!

Alice's Restaurant is of course required listening:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m57gzA2JCcM

so! I know large gatherings and the like will be muted this year, but lets here those plans!

I'll be attending a small 7 person dinner that will undoubtedly feed at least 2 dozen and I can't wait!


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    SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    How dare you forget the most important side dish.

    y2y8u13m82n2.jpg

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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    Bury me in stuffing.

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    Might be trying to cook a turkey this year, we'll see, I guess

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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    I’m doing the Thanksgiving at my house again this year because I am The American.

    My original plan to use the upstairs karaoke room in our apartment building appears to have fallen through, sooooooo that’s annoying, but I’m getting hype about the bird and what the dishes are gonna look like this year.

    Gonna do some faaaaaancy ass Mac and cheese, but I gotta find some gruyere.

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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Mashed potatoes are da best.

    However, you also forgot another crucial side:

    dlyng6a4s699.png

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    god I love a good croissant

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Deep fry that turkey

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Thanksgiving etiquette question: I've been invited to an (outdoors, masked) family thanksgiving event and obviously I will not turn up to a food event empty handed, I'm not a monster.

    But I need to figure out what is more appropriate/absorbable into the traditional thanksgiving food array: A dessert, or a salad?

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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    Well, it depends on the group of people. Typically I'd say dessert because American Thanksgiving tends to be a carbohydrate death march that's actively hostile to life, but on the west coast salad might fly.

    Honestly it's perfectly acceptable etiquette wise to reach out to the person who invited you and ask which of those two would better slot-in to what's already on the menu.

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    MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    Desserts tend to keep better for leftovers, in the event not all of it is consumed

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Usually I've brought salads because I think traditional thanksgiving food is, as you say, actively hostile to human arteries. But those have always been friends-giving events where it's kind of a potluck anyway and nobody is going to be offended or put out by me adding random shit to the table.

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    we're not hosting a gathering this year so the wife and I are just gonna do cornish game hens

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Thanksgiving etiquette question: I've been invited to an (outdoors, masked) family thanksgiving event and obviously I will not turn up to a food event empty handed, I'm not a monster.

    But I need to figure out what is more appropriate/absorbable into the traditional thanksgiving food array: A dessert, or a salad?

    A dessert.
    Thanksgiving is no place for a salad. (as least, not in my family, your mileage may vary)
    If you want to bring a vegetable dish, think something roasted.

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Thanksgiving etiquette question: I've been invited to an (outdoors, masked) family thanksgiving event and obviously I will not turn up to a food event empty handed, I'm not a monster.

    But I need to figure out what is more appropriate/absorbable into the traditional thanksgiving food array: A dessert, or a salad?

    Dessert salad!

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Thanksgiving etiquette question: I've been invited to an (outdoors, masked) family thanksgiving event and obviously I will not turn up to a food event empty handed, I'm not a monster.

    But I need to figure out what is more appropriate/absorbable into the traditional thanksgiving food array: A dessert, or a salad?

    Dessert salad!

    Ah, the midwestern solution.

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    I consider roasted brussels sprouts with bacon and feta to be essentially a salad

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    CelloCello Registered User regular
    Canadian Thanksgiving here so your mileage may vary, but you also probably can't go wrong with an additional side plate

    Some folks might side-eye an additional dessert if they have their usual pie selection or whatnot, but I've never heard anyone complain about more sides

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    Cello wrote: »
    Canadian Thanksgiving here so your mileage may vary, but you also probably can't go wrong with an additional side plate

    Some folks might side-eye an additional dessert if they have their usual pie selection or whatnot, but I've never heard anyone complain about more sides

    Or a charcuterie board for the pre-eating eating.

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    DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    We're not really having a traditional thanksgiving this year, but I'm making another turkey abomination and none of you can stop me! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

    https://www.thespruceeats.com/hawaiian-style-turkey-brine-333857

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    I like to ART
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    ZonugalZonugal (He/Him) The Holiday Armadillo I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico!Registered User regular
    I'm going to have a Moist Maker this year.

    Ross-Geller-Prime-Sig-A.jpg
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    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Thanksgiving etiquette question: I've been invited to an (outdoors, masked) family thanksgiving event and obviously I will not turn up to a food event empty handed, I'm not a monster.

    But I need to figure out what is more appropriate/absorbable into the traditional thanksgiving food array: A dessert, or a salad?

    Coleslaw.

    But, really nice coleslaw made with only the best ingredients. Let people reminisce about your 'slaw a decade from now, - "that bear, she made a coleslaw I haven't ever tasted before or after, and she only ate one of my children, so I consider it a fair trade"...

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    MorivethMoriveth BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWN BREAKDOWNRegistered User regular
    I don't really care about Thanksgiving

    but I do care about the 4-day weekend that week.

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Hmm
    that scheme is handicapped a little by the fact that I hate coleslaw

    I do a mean shaved fennel and orange salad ...

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    Doodmann wrote: »
    We're not really having a traditional thanksgiving this year, but I'm making another turkey abomination and none of you can stop me! NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

    https://www.thespruceeats.com/hawaiian-style-turkey-brine-333857

    I don't know about this

    but in the spirit of the holidays, I'll allow it

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    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Tell them it's the traditional salad served at every Australian Thanksgiving.

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    EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    It’s just my two siblings and I, so we’re likely going to just get a turkey breast, which proved to be plenty of meat last year.

    I’m anticipating baconey Brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, and some sort of India-inspired cauliflower or chickpea dish. Should be nice. And hopefully we have a thing or two to be thankful for at the time.

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    EnlongEnlong Registered User regular
    Ah, hell with it. I think I’m gonna try to make a good key lime pie this year.

    I’ve been really wanting to try that one from the Great British Bake-Off.

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    MayabirdMayabird Pecking at the keyboardRegistered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Usually I've brought salads because I think traditional thanksgiving food is, as you say, actively hostile to human arteries. But those have always been friends-giving events where it's kind of a potluck anyway and nobody is going to be offended or put out by me adding random shit to the table.

    Something veggies for a snack or appetizer early on? Even just like a veggie platter with snow peas and radishes or something might be nice, something light and easy to hold off the hunger pangs but not be heavy and filling. It doesn't all have to be main course or dessert.

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I refuse to acknowledge the holidays this year.

    I ain't got it in me to be cheery.

    I'm gonna Scrooge it up I'm gonna go stab a inflatable Rudolph I'm gonna watch the Thanksgiving Dog Show and I'm only gonna get excited about the herding dog class instead of all the classes like usual

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    JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    Ok I lied about that last part but the sentiment still stands.

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    webguy20webguy20 I spend too much time on the Internet Registered User regular
    Not doing a get together this year, so if the weather is supposed to be nice, I think it'll be brisket on the smoker, if the weather is poor, then a tri tip on the smoker.

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    webguy20 wrote: »
    Not doing a get together this year, so if the weather is supposed to be nice, I think it'll be brisket on the smoker, if the weather is poor, then a tri tip on the smoker.

    oh speaking of brisket, I was wondering if you'd ever tried making pastrami with a different cut of beef

    out here at any rate, a brisket is just shy of $75. I wonder if there are other cuts of beef I could corn, roll in pepper and coriander, and smoke

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    MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    Just kind of dawning on me that I'll have to make my own food this year rather than go to my aunt's like usual

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    SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    Maddoc wrote: »
    Just kind of dawning on me that I'll have to make my own food this year rather than go to my aunt's like usual

    In the past few years I've noticed that grocery store chains have a Thanksgiving package which includes everything you would need for a good Thanksgiving pre-cooked and all. You just need to heat it up when the time is right.

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    MaddocMaddoc I'm Bobbin Threadbare, are you my mother? Registered User regular
    Yeah I work in a deli and literally sell those so I might sign up for one, hah

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    It appears we have something extra to be thankful for!

    -breathes huge sigh of relief-

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    DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    I made homemade cranberry sauce a few years ago and it was amazing. The sliced stuff is still comfort food but I keep meaning to make my own again sometime.

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Usually I've brought salads because I think traditional thanksgiving food is, as you say, actively hostile to human arteries. But those have always been friends-giving events where it's kind of a potluck anyway and nobody is going to be offended or put out by me adding random shit to the table.

    I'd honestly say bring a charcuterie assortment you've curated. It seems in your wheelhouse, and there's always an amount of Milling About to be done before the actual meal.

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    SorceSorce Not ThereRegistered User regular
    I made homemade cranberry sauce a few years ago and it was amazing. The sliced stuff is still comfort food but I keep meaning to make my own again sometime.
    The rule at my parents' house is this; you can have whatever delicious fancy cranberry sauce you want. It will probably get devoured like everything else.

    But if you don't also have the canned version, you fucked up and will be shamed for it.

    sig.gif
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    RT800RT800 Registered User regular
    It feels weird to have certain foods relegated to certain times of the year.

    If I want to eat pumpkin pie and gingerbread cookies in the middle of goddamn June, who's gonna stop me!?

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