You cant just select any cheese type. You gotta make sure its a Gouda One.
I dunno, I like to play the field, so I'm not really interested commitment and don't want to be throwing down more Cheddar all the time. Some women think I'm a jerk, but I'm always ready with some String Cheese to keep the romance going
I am now imagining a gentleman bringing a lady back to his domicile after a successful majicking only for the nights plans to go awry when she exclaims "Is that my fucking shoe that's been missing for a week!? WHY IS IT FILLED WITH HEDGE CLIPPINGS?!"
living in Japan, there have been a few times where I've been around a bunch of ex-pats from all over the U.S., and then I find out one of them is from Michigan and we both do the hand thing and everyone else has no idea what the fuck we're doing, it's awesome
Ok I tell very non sequitor jokes to keep myself not bored at work
They have been watching a sitcom on netflix I have no idea what it's about so things like what did you do with the babysiter I did the usual joke of I have that dvd
I came at a part where she had proposed to him but was saying that's what you said instead of I do
SO I spent the next 4 hours comming up with other things to say instead of whatever he said like
I fucked the dog
Lol cringing
Armed men are stealing my orange soda!
Not knowing how a certain thing means in a certain wedding Calling Shotgun
And many more
+1
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The GeekOh-Two Crew, OmeganautRegistered User, ClubPAregular
How many zombies could Rob Zombie rob if Rob Zombie could rob zombies?
How many zombies could Rob Zombie rob if Rob Zombie could rob zombies?
+9
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facetiousa wit so dryit shits sandRegistered Userregular
edited January 2021
Someone had a bad experience at a restaurant. There were a number of issues.
When the manager came out to ask what was wrong, the first thing they pointed out was how their salad contained only tiny corners of lettuce, and not whole pieces.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
facetious on
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent.
I was positive you were gonna say Mitch McConnel, but then I remembered he’s a turtle.
Then I figured Ted Ctuz, but he’s the zodiac killer.
I tried to think of more traitors and insurrection it’s but then I realized I’d literally rather have any of them replaced with an actual venomous snake because they’re actually safer to have in an elected government position than these assholes and now I’m just tired and a little sad.
Do I have to be a teen to come de-stress with lizards?
see317 on
+4
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
Only as long as the lizards are part of a teen program. Random adults tend to displace teens in a big hurry, and it takes time for the natural teen habitat to recover.
+5
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knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
What kind of snakes like to hang out near the hood of your car?
Vindshield vipers
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
Posts
That is the Deep Lore that must never be printed and can only be whispered by the Elder at the darkest hour of a night with no moon.
I dunno, I like to play the field, so I'm not really interested commitment and don't want to be throwing down more Cheddar all the time. Some women think I'm a jerk, but I'm always ready with some String Cheese to keep the romance going
They know what's up
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
@tynic care to weigh in? You're the cheese expert.
Woman is a cheese fiend.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
catch me by the mole, suckers!
Dude could pitch a tent to anybody.
yes absolutely
Wear a mask.
Protect yo neck.
Feel the Bern.
why it be like that.
They have been watching a sitcom on netflix I have no idea what it's about so things like what did you do with the babysiter I did the usual joke of I have that dvd
I came at a part where she had proposed to him but was saying that's what you said instead of I do
SO I spent the next 4 hours comming up with other things to say instead of whatever he said like
I fucked the dog
Lol cringing
Armed men are stealing my orange soda!
Not knowing how a certain thing means in a certain wedding Calling Shotgun
And many more
When the manager came out to ask what was wrong, the first thing they pointed out was how their salad contained only tiny corners of lettuce, and not whole pieces.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg."
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
(I redacted the phone number, because internet.)
What are your orders, Cobra Commander?
I was positive you were gonna say Mitch McConnel, but then I remembered he’s a turtle.
Then I figured Ted Ctuz, but he’s the zodiac killer.
I tried to think of more traitors and insurrection it’s but then I realized I’d literally rather have any of them replaced with an actual venomous snake because they’re actually safer to have in an elected government position than these assholes and now I’m just tired and a little sad.
Do I have to be a teen to come de-stress with lizards?
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades