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[Bad News Gone Right]: Ow My Balls Edition

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Posts

  • HevachHevach Registered User regular
    Orca wrote: »
    what if I don't want any enemas at all

    You'll have to explain that to the nurse.

    qy7io1vr131k.png

  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
  • HydropoloHydropolo Registered User regular
    reVerse wrote: »
    Free bee, singular. This is too many free bees.

    Much like free enemas, the line between "not enough" and "too many" lies between 1 and 15,000.

    And also like free enemas, hopefully you never have to investigate that line.

    Wait, but like, 15,001 enemas and you are like "Sign me up sir!"?

  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Hydropolo wrote: »
    reVerse wrote: »
    Free bee, singular. This is too many free bees.

    Much like free enemas, the line between "not enough" and "too many" lies between 1 and 15,000.

    And also like free enemas, hopefully you never have to investigate that line.

    Wait, but like, 15,001 enemas and you are like "Sign me up sir!"?

    Well the theoretical enema limit is somewhere after 1 and before 15,0001, so the range of enemas past that initial "too many enemas" point would inherently include 15,0001 enemas. I mean, I figure the average person has fully evacuated their bowels and everything else internal well before number one thousand, but who knows? That's why we have science, to figure out this sort of thing.
    Orca wrote: »
    what if I don't want any enemas at all

    ...I don't understand what you're saying. They're all freebees, you can't pass up a deal like that.

    Ninja Snarl P on
  • TofystedethTofystedeth Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    Why would you call 911 over some free bees? In the immortal words of Tommy Callahan, your firearms are useless against them! Besides, I thought everybody loves a free bee.

    It kinda makes sense. Cops aint gonna help against bees, but the operator can direct you to who you need.

    Can you imagine being the firefighter who'd put himself on the contact list just in case anything bee related happened. And then one day, finally got that call.

    steam_sig.png
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    Why would you call 911 over some free bees? In the immortal words of Tommy Callahan, your firearms are useless against them! Besides, I thought everybody loves a free bee.

    It kinda makes sense. Cops aint gonna help against bees, but the operator can direct you to who you need.

    Can you imagine being the firefighter who'd put himself on the contact list just in case anything bee related happened. And then one day, finally got that call.

    256562227_pUnoS-L-2.jpg

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
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  • The WolfmanThe Wolfman Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    Why would you call 911 over some free bees? In the immortal words of Tommy Callahan, your firearms are useless against them! Besides, I thought everybody loves a free bee.

    It kinda makes sense. Cops aint gonna help against bees, but the operator can direct you to who you need.

    Can you imagine being the firefighter who'd put himself on the contact list just in case anything bee related happened. And then one day, finally got that call.

    Like a dermatologist who's just been paged.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgupJ2WN0Zw

    "The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    So, we have in comics one of the most elegant trolls ever done, by Captain America writer and political pundit Ta-Nehisi Coates. His troll? Putting the philosophy of Jordan Peterson (without mentioning him by name) in the mouth of the Red Skull and letting people see how easily it fits, in shades of the Superman comics where the writers showed how silly the terminology of the Klan was by printing it verbatim.

    Needless to say, Peterson is not taking this well.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    New York is in fight over erection of Penn 15 skyscraper...and you're all snickering now:
    Vornado describe Penn 15 as a “super-tall tower that will become the new standard for office design”, featuring “a unique side core design to allow for flexible office configurations and terraces on every fourth floor to maximize access to light and air”.

    Penn 15 would thrust into the sky as one big part of a sprawling, 20m sq ft redevelopment.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    Sounds like an inside job by Cuomo.

  • emp123emp123 Registered User regular
    New York is in fight over erection of Penn 15 skyscraper...and you're all snickering now:
    Vornado describe Penn 15 as a “super-tall tower that will become the new standard for office design”, featuring “a unique side core design to allow for flexible office configurations and terraces on every fourth floor to maximize access to light and air”.

    Penn 15 would thrust into the sky as one big part of a sprawling, 20m sq ft redevelopment.

    I'm kind of sad to learn that the Vornado in the article is not the fan company, with all the talk about it being an airy building I was kind of hoping they were just building a giant version of one of their tower fans.

    I just imagined the initial meeting with the architect starting and ending with someone slamming a tower fan onto the table, pointing, and saying "This, but bigger!" before walking out of the room.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Activists steal away memorial to treason in the service of slavery, threaten to transform it into more appropriate form:


    A Confederate monument valued at $500,000 was stolen in March from a Selma cemetery, officials confirmed today.

    This morning, a group that claims to have taken the monument, the Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair, sent emails to AL.com saying they will give the chair to the United Daughters of the Confederacy if that organization agrees to hang a banner outside its Richmond, Va. headquarters.

    In those emails, a group calling itself White Lies Matter say they stole the chair from the Old Live Oak Cemetery and are demanding that the UDC hang a large banner at 1 p.m. on Friday — the anniversary of the Confederacy’s surrender in the Civil War — and leave it there for 24 hours.

    And if the UDC doesn't hang the banner, they are converting the chair into a toilet. Also, can I say that the name "White Lies Matter" for a group targeting the UDC - one of the main sponsors of the Lost Cause Movement - is brilliant snark? Their note was well executed as well:

    this-is-badass-open-thread.jpg

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Activists steal away memorial to treason in the service of slavery, threaten to transform it into more appropriate form:


    A Confederate monument valued at $500,000 was stolen in March from a Selma cemetery, officials confirmed today.

    This morning, a group that claims to have taken the monument, the Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair, sent emails to AL.com saying they will give the chair to the United Daughters of the Confederacy if that organization agrees to hang a banner outside its Richmond, Va. headquarters.

    In those emails, a group calling itself White Lies Matter say they stole the chair from the Old Live Oak Cemetery and are demanding that the UDC hang a large banner at 1 p.m. on Friday — the anniversary of the Confederacy’s surrender in the Civil War — and leave it there for 24 hours.

    And if the UDC doesn't hang the banner, they are converting the chair into a toilet. Also, can I say that the name "White Lies Matter" for a group targeting the UDC - one of the main sponsors of the Lost Cause Movement - is brilliant snark? Their note was well executed as well:

    this-is-badass-open-thread.jpg

    This was news yesterday that's already been linked in I think a couple of threads.

    It's also not Bad News Gone Right.

    It's just good news.

    You're slippin', Hedgie.

    HappylilElf on
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    I hadn't seen the note before now though. That's brilliant.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Lockdown breaching kayaker found themselves up a loch without a paddle:
    A kayaker thought to have breached Covid rules by travelling from England to camp at Loch Lomond had to be rescued after getting stuck on an island without a paddle.

    The man had been camping on the west side of Inchtavannach over the weekend.

    He returned to his kayak after a walk around the island on Tuesday afternoon to find his paddle missing.

    The police were alerted and the Loch Lomond Rescue Boat sent out to take him back to his car on the mainland.

    A statement issued by the rescue boat team confirmed the man and his equipment had been safely dropped off at Aldochly, near Luss.

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  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Bad news: Freighter Eemslift Hendrika become uncontrollable after its freight shifts in heavy sea.

    Good news: all crew gets safely off board caught on video in a badass looking rescue operation
    https://youtu.be/HjOFmY3PIQw

    Better news:
    A salvage team then gets on board of the freighter and connects it to two tugs and stops the freighter from potentially becoming an environmental disaster
    https://kystverket.no/en/News/eemslift-hendrika-is-secured--wil-be-towed-to-safe-harbour/

    honovere on
  • TeriferinTeriferin Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Bad news: Freighter Eemslift Hendrika become uncontrollable after its freight shifts in heavy sea.

    Good news: all crew gets safely off board caught on video in a badass looking rescue operation
    https://youtu.be/HjOFmY3PIQw

    Better news:
    A salvage team then gets on board of the freighter and connects it to two tugs and stops the freighter from potentially becoming an environmental disaster
    https://kystverket.no/en/News/eemslift-hendrika-is-secured--wil-be-towed-to-safe-harbour/

    From the video thumbnail, I half expected them to cut that yacht loose and escape on it.

    teriferin#1625
  • AuralynxAuralynx Darkness is a perspective Watching the ego workRegistered User regular
    Lockdown breaching kayaker found themselves up a loch without a paddle:
    A kayaker thought to have breached Covid rules by travelling from England to camp at Loch Lomond had to be rescued after getting stuck on an island without a paddle.

    The man had been camping on the west side of Inchtavannach over the weekend.

    He returned to his kayak after a walk around the island on Tuesday afternoon to find his paddle missing.

    The police were alerted and the Loch Lomond Rescue Boat sent out to take him back to his car on the mainland.

    A statement issued by the rescue boat team confirmed the man and his equipment had been safely dropped off at Aldochly, near Luss.

    Should've taken the high road per the song.

    kshu0oba7xnr.png

  • [Expletive deleted][Expletive deleted] The mediocre doctor NorwayRegistered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Bad news: Freighter Eemslift Hendrika become uncontrollable after its freight shifts in heavy sea.

    Good news: all crew gets safely off board caught on video in a badass looking rescue operation

    Better news:
    A salvage team then gets on board of the freighter and connects it to two tugs and stops the freighter from potentially becoming an environmental disaster
    https://kystverket.no/en/News/eemslift-hendrika-is-secured--wil-be-towed-to-safe-harbour/

    One of my former colleagues has to fly out (by helicopter) to oil platforms every now and again. The scariest thing he ever had to do, he says, is the regular safety training they do before they're allowed to go on the helicopter.

    They put him and other trainees in a helicopter (sans engines and rotor), toss it into the ocean, and they have to get out safely.

    In case they ever have to do it for real. (And yes, that happens.)

    The second scariest thing is evacuation drill. You cram into a fully enclosed lifeboat and then drop it a several stories down into the ocean.

    Once, when he was on platform, they had to do emergency flaring (they pumped up an excess of gas and had to burn it off to avoid an explosion).* The whole platform shook and you could hear it throughout the entire structure, which is the size of a building complex.

    *In Norway, flaring is illegal other than during emergencies (and even then you have to pay a hefty fine); in other parts of the world you flare continuously because the gas isn't worth selling (Norway pipes it to the EU and UK).

    Sic transit gloria mundi.
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Activists steal away memorial to treason in the service of slavery, threaten to transform it into more appropriate form:


    A Confederate monument valued at $500,000 was stolen in March from a Selma cemetery, officials confirmed today.

    This morning, a group that claims to have taken the monument, the Jefferson Davis Memorial Chair, sent emails to AL.com saying they will give the chair to the United Daughters of the Confederacy if that organization agrees to hang a banner outside its Richmond, Va. headquarters.

    In those emails, a group calling itself White Lies Matter say they stole the chair from the Old Live Oak Cemetery and are demanding that the UDC hang a large banner at 1 p.m. on Friday — the anniversary of the Confederacy’s surrender in the Civil War — and leave it there for 24 hours.

    And if the UDC doesn't hang the banner, they are converting the chair into a toilet. Also, can I say that the name "White Lies Matter" for a group targeting the UDC - one of the main sponsors of the Lost Cause Movement - is brilliant snark? Their note was well executed as well:

    this-is-badass-open-thread.jpg

    In follow-up, White Lies Matter follows through on their threat:



    The author is a reporter for the Washington Post.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    Bad News: climate change has melted ice and snow in the BC (Canada) mountains.

    Gone right: it has revealed the entrance of a previously-unknown cave. It is the largest cave in Canada, the entrance alone is big enough to fit the Statue of Liberty inside. Researchers are contacting First Nations tribes in order to check ancient legends to be sure, but at this point it seems like no human has ever been inside.

    Gone righter: the cave has been called the Sarlacc Pit.

    sig.gif
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    Bad News: climate change has melted ice and snow in the BC (Canada) mountains.

    Gone right: it has revealed the entrance of a previously-unknown cave. It is the largest cave in Canada, the entrance alone is big enough to fit the Statue of Liberty inside. Researchers are contacting First Nations tribes in order to check ancient legends to be sure, but at this point it seems like no human has ever been inside.

    Gone righter: the cave has been called the Sarlacc Pit.

    This is really not the time to be disturbing ancient spirits buried and resting for eons.

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

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  • NobeardNobeard North Carolina: Failed StateRegistered User regular
    We gonna find some ancient bacteria or fungus. Mutant zombie apocalypse, ahoy.

  • GiantGeek2020GiantGeek2020 Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    We gonna find some ancient bacteria or fungus. Mutant zombie apocalypse, ahoy.

    Man Sony will just not stop trying to remake The Last of Us.

  • DoodmannDoodmann Registered User regular
    Richy wrote: »
    Bad News: climate change has melted ice and snow in the BC (Canada) mountains.

    Gone right: it has revealed the entrance of a previously-unknown cave. It is the largest cave in Canada, the entrance alone is big enough to fit the Statue of Liberty inside. Researchers are contacting First Nations tribes in order to check ancient legends to be sure, but at this point it seems like no human has ever been inside.

    Gone righter: the cave has been called the Sarlacc Pit.

    This is really not the time to be disturbing ancient spirits buried and resting for eons.

    This is the one area where I am an accelerationist. Bring on the 2nd impact!

    Whippy wrote: »
    nope nope nope nope abort abort talk about anime
    Sometimes I sell my stuff on Ebay
  • Steel AngelSteel Angel Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    We gonna find some ancient bacteria or fungus. Mutant zombie apocalypse, ahoy.

    Man Sony will just not stop trying to remake The Last of Us.

    If they and other post-apocalypse game makers don't add sourdough starters to scavenging loot tables then my suspension of disbelief will be shattered.

    Big Dookie wrote: »
    I found that tilting it doesn't work very well, and once I started jerking it, I got much better results.

    Steam Profile
    3DS: 3454-0268-5595 Battle.net: SteelAngel#1772
  • SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    Nobeard wrote: »
    We gonna find some ancient bacteria or fungus. Mutant zombie apocalypse, ahoy.

    70% of the population is not going to mask up for that one either. And about 10% will seek out the fungus spores to sniff on purpose, to "own the libs".

    steam_sig.png
  • NobeardNobeard North Carolina: Failed StateRegistered User regular
    Smrtnik wrote: »
    Nobeard wrote: »
    We gonna find some ancient bacteria or fungus. Mutant zombie apocalypse, ahoy.

    70% of the population is not going to mask up for that one either. And about 10% will seek out the fungus spores to sniff on purpose, to "own the libs".

    World War Z (the book) was too optimistic.

  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Pittsburgh has a Frick'n large rat snake:

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  • SoggybiscuitSoggybiscuit Tandem Electrostatic Accelerator Registered User regular
    My brother and I used to catch black rat snakes and take them to the Catholic school we went to for show and tell.

    Our teachers were not fans, as you could imagine.

    The snakes weren’t fans either; you would have thought we would have figured that out when they kept biting us.

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  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    My brother and I used to catch black rat snakes and take them to the Catholic school we went to for show and tell.

    :biggrin:
    Our teachers were not fans, as you could imagine.

    :lol:
    The snakes weren’t fans either; you would have thought we would have figured that out when they kept biting us.

    :bigfrown:

  • Inquisitor77Inquisitor77 2 x Penny Arcade Fight Club Champion A fixed point in space and timeRegistered User regular
    I found a tiny black rat snake as a kid in my backyard. Its scales were gorgeous up close. "Black" doesn't begin to describe it. There's a chromatic quality that's hard to describe.

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    There's a reason Coyote Peterson makes an effort to hold a snake by its head. Though he's still gotten bit plenty, just not by the venomous ones.

  • knitdanknitdan In ur base Killin ur guysRegistered User regular
    Is my perspective all weird or is that snake Frick’n huge

    “I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
    -Indiana Solo, runner of blades
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    My brother and I used to catch black rat snakes and take them to the Catholic school we went to for show and tell.

    :biggrin:
    Our teachers were not fans, as you could imagine.

    :lol:
    The snakes weren’t fans either; you would have thought we would have figured that out when they kept biting us.

    :lol::lol::lol::lol:

    Shadowfire on
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  • BlackDragon480BlackDragon480 Bluster Kerfuffle Master of Windy ImportRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    knitdan wrote: »
    Is my perspective all weird or is that snake Frick’n huge

    No, it be huge. Without anything for proper scaling in the image, I'd still peg it at 10+ feet with quite a bit of girth. That's more in line with a medium-large python or an average anaconda.

    It's the Shaq of rat snakes.

    BlackDragon480 on
    No matter where you go...there you are.
    ~ Buckaroo Banzai
  • VishNubVishNub Registered User regular
    We had two pet corn snakes when I was and one would constantly trie to kill you and the other was totally chill.

  • Ninja Snarl PNinja Snarl P My helmet is my burden. Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered User regular
    I kinda wonder how people get bit by snakes myself. I caught them by hand a bunch (always nonvenomous, I did not fuck with anything dangerous) growing up in the southern US and never even got close to getting bit.

    Take stick. Hold down head. Grab behind head. Don't let go of the fucking head. Don't make like Steve Irwin and start letting the head swing around where it can bite you.

    They've got no limbs, no spikes, and only one tricky bit. The average bird is harder to deal with.

  • PolaritiePolaritie Sleepy Registered User regular
    I kinda wonder how people get bit by snakes myself. I caught them by hand a bunch (always nonvenomous, I did not fuck with anything dangerous) growing up in the southern US and never even got close to getting bit.

    Take stick. Hold down head. Grab behind head. Don't let go of the fucking head. Don't make like Steve Irwin and start letting the head swing around where it can bite you.

    They've got no limbs, no spikes, and only one tricky bit. The average bird is harder to deal with.

    Strictly speaking, the tail can hit you I guess? Of course, they didn't evolve to deal with an apex predator with opposable thumbs.

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This discussion has been closed.