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Kids/Parenting: It’s fine, everything is fine.

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Posts

  • CauldCauld Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    Yeah, it can be aggravating how often they come in to check, but they are doing that because you/your wife just went through a fairly traumatic physical experience, which can have lots of really bad side effects.

    I hear what you're saying, but would be nice if they could check the baby and mother at the same time instead of checking the baby and 15 minutes later checking the mother. And if you're sharing a room, then double the amount of interruptions.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Cauld wrote: »
    Brody wrote: »
    Yeah, it can be aggravating how often they come in to check, but they are doing that because you/your wife just went through a fairly traumatic physical experience, which can have lots of really bad side effects.

    I hear what you're saying, but would be nice if they could check the baby and mother at the same time instead of checking the baby and 15 minutes later checking the mother. And if you're sharing a room, then double the amount of interruptions.

    That definitely makes sense.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

    Steam: Korvalain
  • quovadis13quovadis13 Registered User regular
    Brody wrote: »
    Cauld wrote: »
    Brody wrote: »
    Yeah, it can be aggravating how often they come in to check, but they are doing that because you/your wife just went through a fairly traumatic physical experience, which can have lots of really bad side effects.

    I hear what you're saying, but would be nice if they could check the baby and mother at the same time instead of checking the baby and 15 minutes later checking the mother. And if you're sharing a room, then double the amount of interruptions.

    That definitely makes sense.

    Keep in mind, there is a set of doctors and nurses who check on the mom and a different set of doctors and nurses who check on the baby. They each need different things and even the orders for things like bloodwork come from those two different places independently.

  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    Well, shit. I guess this had to happen by it seems so soon!

    Okay, backing up. My 5 y.o. daughter went back to in-person school Tuesday last week for the first time since it stopped being a thing last year. And now she has a fever and a sore throat two weeks later. Really hoping it's not COVID, and it's probably not. Her school went back to in-person last fall and they've only had one scare, and they said there was no evidence off any transmission at school. It's a small private Montessori school (that will be a public charter school next fall, thank jeebus), and they're operating at half-capacity.

    Yeah, I know, we've had a nice break in the weekly grind of children bringing home plagues for the last year (the only good thing about COVID). But, geez, I could have done without this for at least another week. And now we'll be worried it's COVID until she gets a test. Both my wife and I have had our first doses about two weeks ago, and her grandmother is done with her final waiting period. But I don't think this is going to convince her to hang out with us anytime soon (she was in our pod before my daughter went back).

    Damn this year.

    Plus, I don't look forward to bringing her to the ER in the middle of the night, considering there is curfew at 11pm, and I live about a mile from the Brooklyn Center PD you've been seeing on all the news lately.

  • TaramoorTaramoor Storyteller Registered User regular
    Oldest made STREAM program.

    >99th percentile in math, >98th in not-math.

    I’m terrified, because She’s brilliant, but she’s going to get eaten alive by an unstructured learning environment.

  • CelestialBadgerCelestialBadger Registered User regular
    The best thing about the year of Covid is that none of us got norovirus or headlice for the first time in 7 years.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Taramoor wrote: »
    Oldest made STREAM program.

    >99th percentile in math, >98th in not-math.

    I’m terrified, because She’s brilliant, but she’s going to get eaten alive by an unstructured learning environment.

    She lives with Evel Kneivel masquerading as triplets, how bad can that be?

    Brody on
    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

    Steam: Korvalain
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    Man this is amazing.

    So my roommate's kiddo (3 1/2 years old) and been going to bed for months with little to no fussing. Then once she was graduated to a bed her dad would put her down and sometimes accidentally fall asleep.

    He did it for a week straight and now she throws a giant fit unless someone lays next to her until she falls asleep.

    Like she would cry and complain when she started going to bed in her crib/bed but she got over it in a few weeks and was fine. She was also fine in her twin bed until he did that.

    It's taking everything his wife and I have to not be all "WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"

    And of course we're not gonna because "Your daughter is bawling every single night and it's your fault" would be an utterly terrible thing to say to someone!

    but at the same time it's like... we fuckin' told you

  • SummaryJudgmentSummaryJudgment Grab the hottest iron you can find, stride in the Tower’s front door Registered User regular
    Man this is amazing.

    So my roommate's kiddo (3 1/2 years old) and been going to bed for months with little to no fussing. Then once she was graduated to a bed her dad would put her down and sometimes accidentally fall asleep.

    He did it for a week straight and now she throws a giant fit unless someone lays next to her until she falls asleep.

    Like she would cry and complain when she started going to bed in her crib/bed but she got over it in a few weeks and was fine. She was also fine in her twin bed until he did that.

    It's taking everything his wife and I have to not be all "WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"

    And of course we're not gonna because "Your daughter is bawling every single night and it's your fault" would be an utterly terrible thing to say to someone!

    but at the same time it's like... we fuckin' told you

    I mean

    Since he's lost the time he gained back into his day by having to do this ritual, and/or has caused unnecessary suffering for his kid as they wean her off of the ritual, I'm sure he's probably already kicking himself over it

    And that's not to say he didn't hear or that he disregarded your warning, but sleep-deprived human brains are horrible, falliable, stupid meat

    Some real looking-out-the-window kind of energy

    Some days Blue wonders why anyone ever bothered making numbers so small; other days she supposes even infinity needs to start somewhere.
  • Jebus314Jebus314 Registered User regular
    Man this is amazing.

    So my roommate's kiddo (3 1/2 years old) and been going to bed for months with little to no fussing. Then once she was graduated to a bed her dad would put her down and sometimes accidentally fall asleep.

    He did it for a week straight and now she throws a giant fit unless someone lays next to her until she falls asleep.

    Like she would cry and complain when she started going to bed in her crib/bed but she got over it in a few weeks and was fine. She was also fine in her twin bed until he did that.

    It's taking everything his wife and I have to not be all "WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"

    And of course we're not gonna because "Your daughter is bawling every single night and it's your fault" would be an utterly terrible thing to say to someone!

    but at the same time it's like... we fuckin' told you

    I mean

    Since he's lost the time he gained back into his day by having to do this ritual, and/or has caused unnecessary suffering for his kid as they wean her off of the ritual, I'm sure he's probably already kicking himself over it

    And that's not to say he didn't hear or that he disregarded your warning, but sleep-deprived human brains are horrible, falliable, stupid meat

    Some real looking-out-the-window kind of energy

    One of the kid sleep training books I read talked about habit building. Their big thing was that once you do something three times in a row, the kid will expect it from then on. So one off things are fine, but by day 3 you are in trouble.

    It then takes 7 days of crying/frustration to break the newly formed habit.

    In my experience those timings are fairly accurate, give or take.

    "The world is a mess, and I just need to rule it" - Dr Horrible
  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    Man this is amazing.

    So my roommate's kiddo (3 1/2 years old) and been going to bed for months with little to no fussing. Then once she was graduated to a bed her dad would put her down and sometimes accidentally fall asleep.

    He did it for a week straight and now she throws a giant fit unless someone lays next to her until she falls asleep.

    Like she would cry and complain when she started going to bed in her crib/bed but she got over it in a few weeks and was fine. She was also fine in her twin bed until he did that.

    It's taking everything his wife and I have to not be all "WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"

    And of course we're not gonna because "Your daughter is bawling every single night and it's your fault" would be an utterly terrible thing to say to someone!

    but at the same time it's like... we fuckin' told you

    I mean

    Since he's lost the time he gained back into his day by having to do this ritual, and/or has caused unnecessary suffering for his kid as they wean her off of the ritual, I'm sure he's probably already kicking himself over it

    And that's not to say he didn't hear or that he disregarded your warning, but sleep-deprived human brains are horrible, falliable, stupid meat

    Some real looking-out-the-window kind of energy

    When Sapling was younger, we used to have a hard time getting her to sleep, and with knowing she was going to need surgery at 1yr old, we didn't want to spend a lot of time sleep training her when we were going to throw it all out the window during recovery. So even though she would sleep in her crib in our room, she wouldn't fall asleep without us there. I'd lay in our bed with her until she was out, put her in her bed, then try and go out and spend time with my wife. But I was so sleep deprived most times I'd get her in her bed then fall back into ours and pass out. Which left basically no time for my wife and I to just chill w/o the baby, and that sucked, but there were a few nights where the wife would fine to bed and we'd both be passed out, Sapling still in our bed.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

    Steam: Korvalain
  • HappylilElfHappylilElf Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Man this is amazing.

    So my roommate's kiddo (3 1/2 years old) and been going to bed for months with little to no fussing. Then once she was graduated to a bed her dad would put her down and sometimes accidentally fall asleep.

    He did it for a week straight and now she throws a giant fit unless someone lays next to her until she falls asleep.

    Like she would cry and complain when she started going to bed in her crib/bed but she got over it in a few weeks and was fine. She was also fine in her twin bed until he did that.

    It's taking everything his wife and I have to not be all "WE FUCKIN' TOLD YOU TO STOP DOING THAT"

    And of course we're not gonna because "Your daughter is bawling every single night and it's your fault" would be an utterly terrible thing to say to someone!

    but at the same time it's like... we fuckin' told you

    I mean

    Since he's lost the time he gained back into his day by having to do this ritual, and/or has caused unnecessary suffering for his kid as they wean her off of the ritual, I'm sure he's probably already kicking himself over it

    And that's not to say he didn't hear or that he disregarded your warning, but sleep-deprived human brains are horrible, falliable, stupid meat

    Some real looking-out-the-window kind of energy

    I mean, said tiny human is 3 1/2 years old. There is no sleep deprivation going on here on the part of either parent. That phase went away literally years ago. She had been going to sleep by herself with little to no fuss for over a year.

    This is more that once his feet are no longer on the ground, and it's past 6-7pm, there's a near 100% certainty he's going to fall asleep within 10-15 minutes. And that has largely ruined her ability to go to sleep on her own without a monumental tantrum.

    HappylilElf on
  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    I mean, said tiny human is 3 1/2 years old. There is no sleep deprivation going on here on the part of either parent. That phase went away literally years ago. She had been going to sleep by herself with little to no fuss for over a year.

    This is more that once his feet are no longer on the ground, and it's past 6-7pm, there's a near 100% certainty he's going to fall asleep within 10-15 minutes. And that has largely ruined her ability to go to sleep on her own without a monumental tantrum.

    Is that how it's supposed to work? My kids are 5 /12 and 9 and we're both still pretty sleep deprived. Any time after about 2pm, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

  • GilgaronGilgaron Registered User regular
    dennis wrote: »
    I mean, said tiny human is 3 1/2 years old. There is no sleep deprivation going on here on the part of either parent. That phase went away literally years ago. She had been going to sleep by herself with little to no fuss for over a year.

    This is more that once his feet are no longer on the ground, and it's past 6-7pm, there's a near 100% certainty he's going to fall asleep within 10-15 minutes. And that has largely ruined her ability to go to sleep on her own without a monumental tantrum.

    Is that how it's supposed to work? My kids are 5 /12 and 9 and we're both still pretty sleep deprived. Any time after about 2pm, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

    Do they still wake you up multiple times in the middle of the night or are you just exhausted from normal parenting stuff though?

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    I have a question about bedtimes: How do you guys feel about set bedtimes for your young kids?

    My 7 and 6 year old have bedtimes at 8pm on school days and 8:30 on non-school days.
    My 2 year old goes down around 7 or 7:30 depend on our days.

    The reason I ask is because I feel like we're being strict parents... I went over to my buddy's house and his kids were still up and running at 10:15pm and they are around my kids' age.

    Now every time they stay at their grandparent's house they have very less strict sleeping schedules and so they're usually up until probably 10pm. But they ALWAYS wake up at 7am. And then when they come back home they are monsters. So I don't know...

  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    urahonky wrote: »
    I have a question about bedtimes: How do you guys feel about set bedtimes for your young kids?

    My 7 and 6 year old have bedtimes at 8pm on school days and 8:30 on non-school days.
    My 2 year old goes down around 7 or 7:30 depend on our days.

    The reason I ask is because I feel like we're being strict parents... I went over to my buddy's house and his kids were still up and running at 10:15pm and they are around my kids' age.

    Now every time they stay at their grandparent's house they have very less strict sleeping schedules and so they're usually up until probably 10pm. But they ALWAYS wake up at 7am. And then when they come back home they are monsters. So I don't know...

    I'd care whether or not they're getting enough sleep.what time do they need to go to bed to get enough sleep? Since they wake up at 7 consistently, sounds like your bedtime is reasonable. To me, at least

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  • Red RaevynRed Raevyn because I only take Bubble Baths Registered User regular
    urahonky wrote: »
    I have a question about bedtimes: How do you guys feel about set bedtimes for your young kids?

    My 7 and 6 year old have bedtimes at 8pm on school days and 8:30 on non-school days.
    My 2 year old goes down around 7 or 7:30 depend on our days.

    The reason I ask is because I feel like we're being strict parents... I went over to my buddy's house and his kids were still up and running at 10:15pm and they are around my kids' age.

    Now every time they stay at their grandparent's house they have very less strict sleeping schedules and so they're usually up until probably 10pm. But they ALWAYS wake up at 7am. And then when they come back home they are monsters. So I don't know...
    Sounds like you have good reasons for the bedtimes you have. Who knows what your buddy's kids are like the next day or in the evenings when there aren't guests. Many parents seem to think kids being terrible in the late afternoon/evening is just an unavoidable part of kids rather than the poor munchkins being bushed because they aren't getting enough sleep. Admittedly it depends on your parenting and sleep philosophies, but I'm all hopped up on the (seemingly solid and data backed) advice of Dr Marc Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and our child is still wee. What you're doing and observing matches his advice and studies though (for example, keeping them up later doesn't mean they sleep longer, and the lack of good sleep affects them until they catch up)

  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    Yup, kids are pretty consistent about getting up at the same time no matter when they go to bed. Means that if you want them to sleep longer you have to put them to bed earlier.

    Beyond that we do kinda earlyish bedtimes just so we have some non kid time in the evening. We don't make the older one try to sleep but we do insist that they head up to their room by 9.

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    Yeah it's selfish to say that we have strict bedtimes because my wife and I get 0 alone time during the day. From 8 until 10 we have free time to do what we want.

  • GilgaronGilgaron Registered User regular
    We were way stricter about sleep schedules than my siblings, and it felt like we dealt with far less meltdowns than they, but there's too many variables to completely credit it? It sure seemed like whenever they were allowed to stay up later there were more arguments the next day.

  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    Gilgaron wrote: »
    dennis wrote: »
    I mean, said tiny human is 3 1/2 years old. There is no sleep deprivation going on here on the part of either parent. That phase went away literally years ago. She had been going to sleep by herself with little to no fuss for over a year.

    This is more that once his feet are no longer on the ground, and it's past 6-7pm, there's a near 100% certainty he's going to fall asleep within 10-15 minutes. And that has largely ruined her ability to go to sleep on her own without a monumental tantrum.

    Is that how it's supposed to work? My kids are 5 /12 and 9 and we're both still pretty sleep deprived. Any time after about 2pm, I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat.

    Do they still wake you up multiple times in the middle of the night or are you just exhausted from normal parenting stuff though?

    No, it's just shifted. Now they don't nap, and they have to be up for school in the morning, and they get to go to sleep later (more on that below).

    It's almost impossible to get work done when they're ambulatory, much less socializing with each other. If we went to bed at 10pm every night (meaning an hour and a half for after last kid bedtime), we'd probably be more rested.

    urahonky wrote: »
    I have a question about bedtimes: How do you guys feel about set bedtimes for your young kids?

    My 7 and 6 year old have bedtimes at 8pm on school days and 8:30 on non-school days.
    My 2 year old goes down around 7 or 7:30 depend on our days.

    The reason I ask is because I feel like we're being strict parents... I went over to my buddy's house and his kids were still up and running at 10:15pm and they are around my kids' age.

    In my experience, there are always parents who will let their kids stay up later, no matter how crazy late you consider acceptable. Before the pandemic, I'd often go shopping in the wee hours of the night. Without fail, there were always parents there with kids. I try not to judge, because parenting is hard and you never know what situations they're having. I try. Sometimes I fail.

    Our 5 1/2 starts the bedtime process about 7 and we try to wrap it up by 7:30 (though my wife generally takes longer and doesn't get out until 8). But that means it's quiet time in her bedroom from about 7.

    Our 9 1/2 starts his at 7 as well, but... it's complicated. Due to a combination of his ADHD medication messing with his appetite and his strong sensory aversions, he winds up eating a second dinner starting about then. So we read to him while that's going on. Eventually, he goes off to his room at 7:45 and reads in bed until 8:30 (again, medication can often make it difficult for him to go to sleep).

    We don't really vary things based on non-school days as a rule, though sometimes things happen. We figure it's better for their own health that they stick to the same schedule.

  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Our kids go to bed at around 10pm, and it seems to work for them. We started doing that in the before- times, when we would pick the kids up from after-school around 6, go to the playground for an hour, eat dinner around 8, do homework and relax until 9, then start getting ready for bed.
    No more after- school, so we get home much earlier. But they seemed to get enough sleep that we didn't change it up much.
    I guess it depends on the kid, if they are getting enough sleep, and how they are later in the day.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    God I'd like to go back to eating at a sensible hour but we're stuck at 6pm as the kids can't make it later than 7pm before they are crying to go to bed. And I'm not doing two dinner services

    Homogeneous distribution of your varieties of amuse-gueule
  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    God I'd like to go back to eating at a sensible hour but we're stuck at 6pm as the kids can't make it later than 7pm before they are crying to go to bed. And I'm not doing two dinner services

    Six? I'd kill for six. My wife likes to target 5-5:30, closer to 5. I don't even eat breakfast, and I still have difficulty with that.

    (Okay, so it's sometimes six or even later because life happens. But I'm talking about typical.)

    dennis on
  • CarpyCarpy Registered User regular
    With the toddler going to bed at 7 we have to aim for 5:30-6 for dinner. Their eating habits are way better if we're all sitting down and eating the same things that are on their plate so early dinner it is.

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    Yeah dinner is pretty early compared to everyone around us. Usually around 5:30 we're trying to get food started on Tuesdays (oldest has dance class at 6:30 and she's the world's slowest eater). Monday and Thursday it's around 6:30 because my son has Tae-Kwon-Do at 5:30 to 6:15. Every other night it's up for grabs. Would like to be done around 7pm so they can get dressed, brush their teeth, clean up, and read a chapter or two in a book before going to bed.

  • shadowaneshadowane Registered User regular
    urahonky wrote: »
    I have a question about bedtimes: How do you guys feel about set bedtimes for your young kids?

    My 7 and 6 year old have bedtimes at 8pm on school days and 8:30 on non-school days.
    My 2 year old goes down around 7 or 7:30 depend on our days.

    The reason I ask is because I feel like we're being strict parents... I went over to my buddy's house and his kids were still up and running at 10:15pm and they are around my kids' age.

    Now every time they stay at their grandparent's house they have very less strict sleeping schedules and so they're usually up until probably 10pm. But they ALWAYS wake up at 7am. And then when they come back home they are monsters. So I don't know...

    I think you just do what feels comfortable for you and your children and not worry about thinking you are strict. If your children aren't upset by it, then do what works. And I totally agree with you that the 8:15 - 10pm period of alone time is super important!

    This is pretty similar to us. My 5 and 7 year old (almost 6 and 8) start bedtime around 7:30 and are in bed by themselves by 8ish usually. My 5 year old daughter is almost always asleep by 8:30 at the latest. My son, however, has been reading until 9ish and not falling asleep until 10 sometimes. But he stays in bed, doesn't bother us, and isn't really bothered by it so there isn't much we can do.

  • CauldCauld Registered User regular
    We usually shoot for 8:30 bedtime. Unless my 3 yr old didn't nap, then it's more like 7:30. That's just kind of how it works though. We finish working around 6 and by the time dinner is ready it's usually about 6:30. Then we all eat and after cleaning everyone/everything up and getting ready for bed it's usually around 8:30.

  • schussschuss Registered User regular
    My 4 and 6 year old start the process at 7 (brush teeth/pee/pajamas), lights out 7:40ish, leave the room anywhere from 5-20 minutes after. Reading is the remainder. We could probably push it back a half hour, but they are tired enough most days it already makes sense. They're up 6:30-7 most days.

  • urahonkyurahonky Registered User regular
    I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in this. The neighborhood kids are usually outside at 10pm during the summer and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I don't want to be "those parents" where the kids can't have any fun you know?

  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    urahonky wrote: »
    I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in this. The neighborhood kids are usually outside at 10pm during the summer and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I don't want to be "those parents" where the kids can't have any fun you know?

    Yeah, especially up north when it's still light out well after 10pm. We have blackout curtains in the kids bedroom for a reason.

    I figure we'll start bumping it up a bit later when the kids are still in the early double-digits and that extra staying up time isn't "drain the parents' batteries even further" time. Will be a bit tricky because of the four year age difference, though.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    We always put Sapling (3 1/2) to bed around 8:00 pm, because I can't stay up much past 10, and I need time to just relax, and eat all the junk food we've been hiding. Sometimes we can hear her playing with her stuffed animals until ~9, sometimes she's out at 8 sharp.

    "I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."

    The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson

    Steam: Korvalain
  • Jebus314Jebus314 Registered User regular
    I don't remember them off the top of my head, but I seem to recall some recentish studies that specifically call out good sleeping habits as having a fairly large impact on school outcomes. Mostly they are talking about getting enough sleep (and little kids need more than 8 hours), but that sort of goes hand in hand with having a regular schedule. Of all the places to be too strict, I think it is actually pretty important to try and build good sleep habits.

    "The world is a mess, and I just need to rule it" - Dr Horrible
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    We start the sleep process around 8pm. Bath (every other day or so), brush teeth, pjs, and in bed. My son goes right out without fuss, but my daughter will stay up for an hour just farting around.

    About two weeks ago I started reading her Ranma 1/2 and she’s fallen in love with it. So now I read her one chapter each night and then she goes down faster. She still screws around a bit, but it doesn’t last as long.

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  • dennisdennis aka bingley Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    We start the sleep process around 8pm. Bath (every other day or so), brush teeth, pjs, and in bed. My son goes right out without fuss, but my daughter will stay up for an hour just farting around.

    Have you tried Gas-Ex?
    About two weeks ago I started reading her Ranma 1/2 and she’s fallen in love with it. So now I read her one chapter each night and then she goes down faster. She still screws around a bit, but it doesn’t last as long.

    At first I read that as Rama 2, which... okay, that would put you to sleep. You might have to elide a few bits, though.

    dennis on
  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    urahonky wrote: »
    I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone in this. The neighborhood kids are usually outside at 10pm during the summer and I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I don't want to be "those parents" where the kids can't have any fun you know?

    I'd say that sleeping times are even more individually varied and harder to say what's 'right' even than 'nu baby! how do?' so you're absolutely not going to get a single perfect answer or set of guidelines. At under 10 I would've loved staying up in the summer until I literally dropped from exhaustion, but it was 'in bed and lights out at 8:00. We know you're going to read, but if you stay up so late you're tired in the morning, that's on you.'

    Especially when you're still in the 'kid' phase I'd say it's an important part of structure, although lots of other people obviously find that 'free range is fine, they'll figure out themselves when they're tired' and everywhere is between works for them to.

    Gabriel_Pitt on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Ellie gets picked up from after school care at 5.
    I give her a small dinner when we get home, usually cold lunch meat, cucumbers, carrots, and cheese. If she wants hot dinner when we're eating later, she can have some. She gets videos while she eats dinner.
    Ecco's usually home by 630. Hot dinner is usually done at that time.
    7pm the videos go off and she has 30 minutes of play before tidying up the lounge. Some days she doesn't turn the videos in until we are all eating dinner.
    730-800 is tidying up, helping to pack get lunch for school, shower/bath if she's having one.
    8 starts reading books and brushing teeth, etc.
    If it's been a good day, she's asleep by 9.

    She still wakes up every night around midnight. She's 5. And we're starting to try and break the cosleeping habit that we've had since she was 18 months

    And no, I don't want to talk about that habit.

    lonelyahava on
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Ellie gets picked up from after school care at 5.
    I give her a small dinner when we get home, usually cold lunch meat, cucumbers, carrots, and cheese. If she wants hot dinner when we're eating Larry, she can have some. She gets videos while she eats dinner.
    Ecco's usually home by 630. Hot dinner is usually done at that time.
    7pm the videos go off and she has 30 minutes of play before tidying up the lounge. Some days she doesn't turn the videos in until we are all eating dinner.
    730-800 is tidying up, helping to pack get lunch for school, shower/bath if she's having one.
    8 starts reading books and brushing teeth, etc.
    If it's been a good day, she's asleep by 9.

    She still wakes up every night around midnight. She's 5. And we're starting to try and break the cosleeping habit that we've had since she was 18 months

    And no, I don't want to talk about that habit.

    What the fuck did Larry do?!

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  • Gabriel_PittGabriel_Pitt (effective against Russian warships) Registered User regular
    His fault for being delicious.

  • quovadis13quovadis13 Registered User regular
    Our three kids (almost 3 thru almost 7) have bedtime between 730 and 8, depending on how long dinner, showers and reading takes each night. I think for summer that will probably be more like 8-830, but since one or two of them are always up around 7 the next morning no matter what, we dont want to push it later than that on the regular.

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