As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

This Thread Will Go Down in [History]

19394969899101

Posts

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    It's a lot easier to train a peasant to use a spear than anything else.

    "The sharp end is for sticking."

    Training done.

    exactly

    and if they can't afford a spearhead, a quarterstaff can put out some very serious damage

    my friends and I made staffs... staves? to fight with, because that kind of stuff was how we spent a lot of our time

    lots of contusions and split knuckles, I tell you hwhat.

    Depressperado on
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    That nerd is having the time of his life.

    The most fun thing I have personally ever swung around was a montante, but that thing looks like a blast to play around with.

    The wiki article on the montante fighting technique sounds awesome. Very cinematic.

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    If someone comes at you with a six foot pole axe I'd think your best option is stepping in rather than out on any movement except a thrust. The blade doesn't extend all the way down and it gives somewhat of a chance to maybe open a visor and maul their eyes or something.

  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    honovere wrote: »
    Inquisitor wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    That nerd is having the time of his life.

    The most fun thing I have personally ever swung around was a montante, but that thing looks like a blast to play around with.

    The wiki article on the montante fighting technique sounds awesome. Very cinematic.

    Twirling for days:

    https://youtu.be/nYNy_drriXs

    Also anytime a manual tells you to kick your sword to give it some momentum you know you are in for a fun time .

  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

    I think I'd survive at least 15 minutes but only because I'm a historic re-enactor so I'd have a slight idea of what to do.

    No way I'd survive long term though.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • InquisitorInquisitor Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

    Best play for any of us is hoping to get into a monastery that is big on making cheese and beer or something.

    But odds are we knick ourselves on something sharp and die of some infection in a fetid bog somewhere.

    Woo history!

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I'm more likely to die from drinking the water then anything else if I went back in time to medieval ages. At which point my corpse becomes a biological bomb probably carrying any number of pathogens we are inoculated against but definitely not those people.

  • JuggernutJuggernut Registered User regular
    I would do fine.

    I'd find a king, say the word "penis" and do a Fortnite shuffle and a dab then ascend the throne when he is killed instantly by it.

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Very few people survive long term

    Broke as fuck in the style of the times. Gratitude is all that can return on your generosity.

    https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I mean, we wouldn't survive because dysentery or some random disease we don't have anymore would probably kill us.

    I'd just get a friendly innkeep to hire me as a stable boy and hope people don't kill me for talking weird

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    If I was a knight in 1147 I'd simply invent the gun.

    RIP to those knights but I'm different.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nHXhhKMzak

    Seems legit.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • PeasPeas Registered User regular
    I play dark souls a lot i can probably survive like 30 seconds before rolling into a river and drowning

  • SiliconStewSiliconStew Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

    This is why you should always keep Chemistry 101 and Steam Plant Operation books in the trunk of your Delta 88.

    Just remember that half the people you meet are below average intelligence.
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

    silver bowls and spoons do not spark

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    Also silver is the blood of the moon and will +5 at minimum any gunpowder you make with it

    Broke as fuck in the style of the times. Gratitude is all that can return on your generosity.

    https://www.paypal.me/hobnailtaylor
  • honoverehonovere Registered User regular
    Reminds me of the historical watermill slash museum in the Peloponnesian mountains that Greek partisans used to produce gunpowder in their war against the ottoman empire. It looked very interesting and I guess several people died or were maimed working there because oh boy was that a delicate bit also very rickety process.

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.

    I would immediately explode from all of my allergies kicking in at once.

  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Juggernut wrote: »
    I would do fine.

    I'd find a king, say the word "penis" and do a Fortnite shuffle and a dab then ascend the throne when he is killed instantly by it.

    Godspeed, future boy.

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Back when Orson Scott Card wrote interesting books, he wrote one called Enchantment, about a dude getting Connecticut Yankeed back to a magical version of Iron Age Ukraine to fight Baba Yaga.

    The interesting thing is that the power that brought him back to be a hero stacked the deck by making him a linguist who specializes in Old Church Slavonic and a decathlete, so he could talk the talk and walk the walk. And there's a real good scene where he gets his ass chewed out by the warrior trying to teach him how to fight, because the kid insists on dodging around like a Dark Souls character instead of standing still and learning how to deal with a large angry man battering your shield with an axe.

    Because the key to being a good fighter in that time and place isn't a bunch of Princess Bride acrobatics, it's holding the goddamn shield line because if you get out of line the person on your left gets gutted because you're not shielding his right, and now the line is getting rolled up from the middle and we're all going to get speared in the back while we try and run away. Way to go, Errol Flynn, you've killed us all.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Back when Orson Scott Card wrote interesting books, he wrote one called Enchantment, about a dude getting Connecticut Yankeed back to a magical version of Iron Age Ukraine to fight Baba Yaga.

    The interesting thing is that the power that brought him back to be a hero stacked the deck by making him a linguist who specializes in Old Church Slavonic and a decathlete, so he could talk the talk and walk the walk. And there's a real good scene where he gets his ass chewed out by the warrior trying to teach him how to fight, because the kid insists on dodging around like a Dark Souls character instead of standing still and learning how to deal with a large angry man battering your shield with an axe.

    Because the key to being a good fighter in that time and place isn't a bunch of Princess Bride acrobatics, it's holding the goddamn shield line because if you get out of line the person on your left gets gutted because you're not shielding his right, and now the line is getting rolled up from the middle and we're all going to get speared in the back while we try and run away. Way to go, Errol Flynn, you've killed us all.

    I mean it really doesn't matter what sort of plot magic that dude received because he was given a null value scenario to begin with considering actual heroes in the legends never tried to fight Baba Yaga because that's a suicidal idea at best.

    Madican on
  • sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited April 2021
    If I get magiced to the past and they ask me to fight Baba Yaga Iam for sure running all the way to Barcelona.

    sarukun on
  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    I would sing the song about her hut and make her rock so hard she broke her neck from head bobbing

  • GundiGundi Serious Bismuth Registered User regular
    could a attempt to seduce baba yaga instead?

    i feel like baba yaga would be a passionate lover considering she's passionate about everything else she does

  • Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    Also find her good twin sister

  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    edited April 2021
    sarukun wrote: »
    Good luck mixing that gunpowder by hand dogg, you’ll blow yourself up first thing.

    What I’m trying to say is none of us would survive for longer than six and a half minutes if we went back in time.
    I've watched multiple YouTube videos on how to make gunpowder from my own piss. Dare you enter my magical realm?

    Gvzbgul on
  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Remember that series of books about that southern US town getting sent back to middle age Europe and they all had AK-47s and shit?

    God that was dumb and had way too many sequels

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    I did read part of one book about a slightly futuristic US naval carrier group getting sent back to the battle of
    midway and they appeared in the middle of the US fleet and fucked the ever living shit out of it before realizing what was going on but then they’d used up most of their fancy weapons but still had helicopters and really good radar and junk.

    I think there was something about a future submarine from Singapore or someplace fucking off and joining the Japanese instead and giving them nuclear reactor tech.

    I stopped reading it after that.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I've had occasional bouts of paranoia where I'll research how to make like, hedge medicine or start a fire or properly forage for edible stuff, how to deal w/ inclement weather

    mostly because I'm like "well someday I'm gonna have to disappear into the forest, I have to know this stuff."

    but then a smaller, dorkier me in my head says "it'd be pretty handy if you got time travelled too."

  • JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    I did read part of one book about a slightly futuristic US naval carrier group getting sent back to the battle of
    midway and they appeared in the middle of the US fleet and fucked the ever living shit out of it before realizing what was going on but then they’d used up most of their fancy weapons but still had helicopters and really good radar and junk.

    I think there was something about a future submarine from Singapore or someplace fucking off and joining the Japanese instead and giving them nuclear reactor tech.

    I stopped reading it after that.

    It didn't get better. The author hate-killed the highest-ranking woman of color from the future in a really brutal manner just for the shock value.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Librarian's ghostLibrarian's ghost Librarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSpork Registered User regular
    Time travel books always seem to be written by a specific faction of Tom Clancy book nerds. Usually also ones who need to see future white savior junk.

    (Switch Friend Code) SW-4910-9735-6014(PSN) timspork (Steam) timspork (XBox) Timspork


  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    I did read part of one book about a slightly futuristic US naval carrier group getting sent back to the battle of
    midway and they appeared in the middle of the US fleet and fucked the ever living shit out of it before realizing what was going on but then they’d used up most of their fancy weapons but still had helicopters and really good radar and junk.

    I think there was something about a future submarine from Singapore or someplace fucking off and joining the Japanese instead and giving them nuclear reactor tech.

    I stopped reading it after that.

    Huh, that was a manga too. Japanese ship with American tech gets separated from the fleet during maneuvers, finds itself in the middle of a Japanese fleet during WW2, and promptly hauls ass when a bunch of weapons point directly at it but not before they pick up a kamikaze survivor. Their goal is trying to figure out who they should side with if anyone, because their ship possesses modern tech like detailed radar to detect subs and the engine alone being able to outspeed or catch any other ship in existence without even mentioning its weaponry. This is derailed when the kamikaze survivor, upon learning the future of what Japan would become, decides to become the wild card and starts trying to make both the Allies AND the Axis lose the war.

  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    The Final Countdown dodo do doooo dodo do do dooooo was a film that had a similar idea, but with Pearl Harbour.

  • cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Madican wrote: »
    I did read part of one book about a slightly futuristic US naval carrier group getting sent back to the battle of
    midway and they appeared in the middle of the US fleet and fucked the ever living shit out of it before realizing what was going on but then they’d used up most of their fancy weapons but still had helicopters and really good radar and junk.

    I think there was something about a future submarine from Singapore or someplace fucking off and joining the Japanese instead and giving them nuclear reactor tech.

    I stopped reading it after that.

    Huh, that was a manga too. Japanese ship with American tech gets separated from the fleet during maneuvers, finds itself in the middle of a Japanese fleet during WW2, and promptly hauls ass when a bunch of weapons point directly at it but not before they pick up a kamikaze survivor. Their goal is trying to figure out who they should side with if anyone, because their ship possesses modern tech like detailed radar to detect subs and the engine alone being able to outspeed or catch any other ship in existence without even mentioning its weaponry. This is derailed when the kamikaze survivor, upon learning the future of what Japan would become, decides to become the wild card and starts trying to make both the Allies AND the Axis lose the war.
    What's the name of that manga?

  • MrMonroeMrMonroe passed out on the floor nowRegistered User regular
    If I found myself in 16... whatever I would scope out the toilet paper situation and likely throw myself into the river

  • The Cow KingThe Cow King a island Registered User regular
    I'd end up writing down all the equations I could remember that I'd think be fun before dieing of dysentery

    That's my time travel

    icGJy2C.png
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    The best thing anyone can do to survive any sort of danger or survival situation is to just have good cardio and be generally in shape, but when you see all these prepper dudes they all look like they couldn't run a mile.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
  • GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    I would die without genetic engineering as I am diabetic. Sure, I could use pigs pancreas but I would very likely die.

  • MadicanMadican No face Registered User regular
    cB557 wrote: »
    Madican wrote: »
    I did read part of one book about a slightly futuristic US naval carrier group getting sent back to the battle of
    midway and they appeared in the middle of the US fleet and fucked the ever living shit out of it before realizing what was going on but then they’d used up most of their fancy weapons but still had helicopters and really good radar and junk.

    I think there was something about a future submarine from Singapore or someplace fucking off and joining the Japanese instead and giving them nuclear reactor tech.

    I stopped reading it after that.

    Huh, that was a manga too. Japanese ship with American tech gets separated from the fleet during maneuvers, finds itself in the middle of a Japanese fleet during WW2, and promptly hauls ass when a bunch of weapons point directly at it but not before they pick up a kamikaze survivor. Their goal is trying to figure out who they should side with if anyone, because their ship possesses modern tech like detailed radar to detect subs and the engine alone being able to outspeed or catch any other ship in existence without even mentioning its weaponry. This is derailed when the kamikaze survivor, upon learning the future of what Japan would become, decides to become the wild card and starts trying to make both the Allies AND the Axis lose the war.
    What's the name of that manga?

    Zipang I think was the name

  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Gvzbgul wrote: »
    I would die without genetic engineering as I am diabetic. Sure, I could use pigs pancreas but I would very likely die.

    What you do is you make pig pancreas jerky and you just chew on that.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
This discussion has been closed.