Well. My relationship of almost 4 years just ended.
My girlfriend had been getting steadily more unwell for over a year (MH) and it hit crisis point about 3 months ago.
She's getting the help she needs at least now but can't be in any kind of relationship.
No one's mad at each other. We both love each other but there's just too much pain. It's just really fucking sad.
I am so desperately lonely that I've started posting dumb shit on Whisper just so I can talk to the many obvious scammers. At least when they pretend to be some local escort or sugar daddy/momma, they pretend to want me, and I can pretend to feel wanted as well.
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Blake TDo you have enemies then?Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered Userregular
Well. My relationship of almost 4 years just ended.
My girlfriend had been getting steadily more unwell for over a year (MH) and it hit crisis point about 3 months ago.
She's getting the help she needs at least now but can't be in any kind of relationship.
No one's mad at each other. We both love each other but there's just too much pain. It's just really fucking sad.
My fiancée is the very best person I know and puts too much pressure on herself and I love her very much and am very grateful I get to be here to support her every day and maybe help take some of that pressure off.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
edited April 2021
I've accepted that, barring some crazy changes to my status quo, my role in a relationship is to support the partner with ambition
like, I try and be a soothing, dare I say zen presence, and now I get to do that AND get smooches and stuff, hell yeah.
Depressperado on
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Dyshow am I even using this gunRegistered Userregular
Well. My relationship of almost 4 years just ended.
My girlfriend had been getting steadily more unwell for over a year (MH) and it hit crisis point about 3 months ago.
She's getting the help she needs at least now but can't be in any kind of relationship.
No one's mad at each other. We both love each other but there's just too much pain. It's just really fucking sad.
I'm just, tired.
Stim, I can absolutely emphasize with you on this.
Similar thing happened with me and my ex-fiancée, and I wish there was something that I could have done or some way I could have read her mind enough to do what she needed me to.
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Dyshow am I even using this gunRegistered Userregular
Real talk, I posted in here a month ago or so about us not being able to maintain a friendship and me being psyched to not be responsible for her happiness anymore.
And I am genuinely tired of missing her so goddamn much, still. I can't help but think about her daily.
I'm seeing a therapist and getting help, but it still feels like a big chunk of me has been missing and it has been five damn months since she broke us up.
I know time heals all wounds and all, but I am starting to feel like I am losing my damn mind. Time needs to hurry up, already.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
Real talk, I posted in here a month ago or so about us not being able to maintain a friendship and me being psyched to not be responsible for her happiness anymore.
And I am genuinely tired of missing her so goddamn much, still. I can't help but think about her daily.
I'm seeing a therapist and getting help, but it still feels like a big chunk of me has been missing and it has been five damn months since she broke us up.
I know time heals all wounds and all, but I am starting to feel like I am losing my damn mind. Time needs to hurry up, already.
may I suggest that a state of emotional upheaval is the perfect time to get into The Mountain Goats
Depressperado on
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
in Real Talk, as you say, eventually those feelings will scab over and scar. They'll always be there as a reminder, because existence is cruel, but they'll stop being an injury and start being just a part of your story.
Life is a series of callouses, this is just another layer.
in Real Talk, as you say, eventually those feelings will scab over and scar. They'll always be there as a reminder, because existence is cruel, but they'll stop being an injury and start being just a part of your story.
Life is a series of callouses, this is just another layer.
Sometimes they are ripped open to be fresh and hurt
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
oh yeah
I am reminded that scarring is an active process. When you have a scar your body works to maintain that tissue, and if you get like, scurvy, or are starving or dehydrating, the scar will open back up.
I think psychic scars are the same way. a smell or noise and whoops, there you go again.
My chest loudly throbbing,
and my feet uncharacteristically paralyzed,
and the tears quietly going down my cheeks
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
Humans, all of us,
of course fall in love
I've always thought that, but
If I hadn't met you,
then I don't think anyone
would've ever made me feel like this
My chest loudly throbbing,
and my feet starting to run on their own,
and my tears certainly going down my cheeks,
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I used to blame others
for what I couldn't do anything about
and pretended to accept them
All the time
If I hadn't met you,
then I probably would've just kept on living
not knowing the reason for being born
Now I want to offer myself,
so weak I get hurt by a single word
A season that'll never again come
tried to mark the end
so clumsily
The things I want
I can see them where I can reach them
There's no way I can't chase after them
Is that right? The truth is...
no one knows
The treetops sway, blown by the wind,
and stretch where the sunlight shines
We were pleased with the small things
and also hurt by the small things
My chest throbbing maddeningly
and the rain hitting my shoulders gently
and my tears overflowing though I hold them back,
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
Having not fallen in love in my entire life, this song did hit me hard in the middle of the night for some reason
Gonna copy the japanese lyrics later
Well. My relationship of almost 4 years just ended.
My girlfriend had been getting steadily more unwell for over a year (MH) and it hit crisis point about 3 months ago.
She's getting the help she needs at least now but can't be in any kind of relationship.
No one's mad at each other. We both love each other but there's just too much pain. It's just really fucking sad.
I'm just, tired.
Stim, I can absolutely emphasize with you on this.
Similar thing happened with me and my ex-fiancée, and I wish there was something that I could have done or some way I could have read her mind enough to do what she needed me to.
It's pretty shit hey.
Over the past month there has been a lot of "You could've done better" but nah I really couldn't have.
She told me over the phone that she's only alive because of me. Which feels fucking weird. I know it's true. It's still weird to hear someone say it.
It's stinging particularly badly because it's more or less drug related, and similar shit happened with my brother when I was 15 (I'm 31 now) so it's dredging up a lot of that crap.
Did you know that "quite" has two meanings? I did not! I have been using it when talking to my girlfriend one way and she's been hearing it the other. Whoooops.
Quite is a degree adverb. It has two meanings depending on the word that follows it: ‘a little, moderately but not very’ and ‘very, totally or completely’:
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
Oh so it's one of those words that is simultaneously its own acronym.
Like Quick or Fast.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
(But also like, with british understatement it could mean fucking great but that's not cos quite means loads just cos no need to overdo it bloody hell)
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I hear quite in the US means something different from in the UK, maybe that has something to do with it?
In my usage of it, it's almost always used as an emphasis except for "Not quite" which can either mean "Almost, but not totally on the mark" or "Completely off the mark, wildly wrong" depending on tone/context
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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DepressperadoI just wanted to see you laughingin the pizza rainRegistered Userregular
yeah depending on your tone of voice, quite means either "pretty good" or "pretty bad"
I like how "nonplussed" means two opposing things
it's either "surprised and confused" or "not surprised or confused", depending on context
I suspect that, like nonplussed or literally, there is a correct use of quite and a wrong but generally accepted so no longer wrong use of quite.
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
I suspect that, like nonplussed or literally, there is a correct use of quite and a wrong but generally accepted so no longer wrong use of quite.
Yeah, I've only ever heard of nonplussed as Surprised unless the person was themself confused about what the word meant.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
edited April 2021
My list of qualifiers, in ascending order: theoretically, technically, barely, kinda, sorta, actually, actually pretty, pretty, definitely, quite, mostly, surprisingly, comprehensively, excessively, hella, and goddamn.
I think Solar's usage would slot in between "barely" and "kinda."
Real talk, I posted in here a month ago or so about us not being able to maintain a friendship and me being psyched to not be responsible for her happiness anymore.
And I am genuinely tired of missing her so goddamn much, still. I can't help but think about her daily.
I'm seeing a therapist and getting help, but it still feels like a big chunk of me has been missing and it has been five damn months since she broke us up.
I know time heals all wounds and all, but I am starting to feel like I am losing my damn mind. Time needs to hurry up, already.
Hey, you're not going crazy.
I'm falling pretty hard for the lady I'm currently dating but that doesn't stop me from thinking about my ex all the time, I don't even have any desire there...it's just burned into my brain so I work on not dwelling on it.
Posts
i have that video
edit: motherfucker why do all my creepiest posts end up totp
My girlfriend had been getting steadily more unwell for over a year (MH) and it hit crisis point about 3 months ago.
She's getting the help she needs at least now but can't be in any kind of relationship.
No one's mad at each other. We both love each other but there's just too much pain. It's just really fucking sad.
I'm just, tired.
I’m sorry Tim. You’re a good dude.
Satans..... hints.....
I'll be right. It's just pretty shit for now.
I am currently minding the cats and although they're starting to piss me off I'm also going to miss seeing them every day.
I'm listening to sea shanties about loss and I think I've just discovered a new coping mechanism.
Satans..... hints.....
Right now I'm listening to "Bones in the Ocean" on loop.
like, I try and be a soothing, dare I say zen presence, and now I get to do that AND get smooches and stuff, hell yeah.
Stim, I can absolutely emphasize with you on this.
Similar thing happened with me and my ex-fiancée, and I wish there was something that I could have done or some way I could have read her mind enough to do what she needed me to.
And I am genuinely tired of missing her so goddamn much, still. I can't help but think about her daily.
I'm seeing a therapist and getting help, but it still feels like a big chunk of me has been missing and it has been five damn months since she broke us up.
I know time heals all wounds and all, but I am starting to feel like I am losing my damn mind. Time needs to hurry up, already.
may I suggest that a state of emotional upheaval is the perfect time to get into The Mountain Goats
Life is a series of callouses, this is just another layer.
Sometimes they are ripped open to be fresh and hurt
I am reminded that scarring is an active process. When you have a scar your body works to maintain that tissue, and if you get like, scurvy, or are starving or dehydrating, the scar will open back up.
I think psychic scars are the same way. a smell or noise and whoops, there you go again.
Lyrics translations:
https://shinitakashi.blogspot.com/2018/05/utada-hikaru-hatsukoi-english-lyrics.html
Lyrics, Composition, & Arrangement: Hikaru Utada
My chest loudly throbbing,
and my feet uncharacteristically paralyzed,
and the tears quietly going down my cheeks
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
Humans, all of us,
of course fall in love
I've always thought that, but
If I hadn't met you,
then I don't think anyone
would've ever made me feel like this
My chest loudly throbbing,
and my feet starting to run on their own,
and my tears certainly going down my cheeks,
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I used to blame others
for what I couldn't do anything about
and pretended to accept them
All the time
If I hadn't met you,
then I probably would've just kept on living
not knowing the reason for being born
Now I want to offer myself,
so weak I get hurt by a single word
A season that'll never again come
tried to mark the end
so clumsily
The things I want
I can see them where I can reach them
There's no way I can't chase after them
Is that right? The truth is...
no one knows
The treetops sway, blown by the wind,
and stretch where the sunlight shines
We were pleased with the small things
and also hurt by the small things
My chest throbbing maddeningly
and the rain hitting my shoulders gently
and my tears overflowing though I hold them back,
they tell me now that this is my first love
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
I need you, I need you
Having not fallen in love in my entire life, this song did hit me hard in the middle of the night for some reason
Gonna copy the japanese lyrics later
This will be here until I receive an apology or Weedlordvegeta get any consequences for being a bully
It's pretty shit hey.
Over the past month there has been a lot of "You could've done better" but nah I really couldn't have.
She told me over the phone that she's only alive because of me. Which feels fucking weird. I know it's true. It's still weird to hear someone say it.
It's stinging particularly badly because it's more or less drug related, and similar shit happened with my brother when I was 15 (I'm 31 now) so it's dredging up a lot of that crap.
Where are you now? If I’m able to travel from NZ to NSW in this travel bubble and you’re around, we should catch up
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Not quite.
Like Quick or Fast.
Quite good
That means
it's good but not like, fabulously so
(But also like, with british understatement it could mean fucking great but that's not cos quite means loads just cos no need to overdo it bloody hell)
In my usage of it, it's almost always used as an emphasis except for "Not quite" which can either mean "Almost, but not totally on the mark" or "Completely off the mark, wildly wrong" depending on tone/context
I like how "nonplussed" means two opposing things
it's either "surprised and confused" or "not surprised or confused", depending on context
like, "Karl was nonplussed."
Yeah, I've only ever heard of nonplussed as Surprised unless the person was themself confused about what the word meant.
I think Solar's usage would slot in between "barely" and "kinda."
Hey, you're not going crazy.
I'm falling pretty hard for the lady I'm currently dating but that doesn't stop me from thinking about my ex all the time, I don't even have any desire there...it's just burned into my brain so I work on not dwelling on it.
The modern usage of literally to mean figuratively is quite annoying