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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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Posts

  • amethystoakamethystoak Registered User regular
    3 year old has had a rough morning. She woke up whining and crying a bit, which is really unusual. She seems to have a headache in the middle of her forehead, and she's thrown up a very small amount. She's been really weak, tired, and snuggly. No fever, though. I gave her a chewable tylenol tablet an hour and a half ago (post throw up), but her head still hurts. She's hungry, too. I gave her a popsicle about 15 minutes ago and she's done ok with that. Not sure what to give her next. She's pretty good at communicating but she's not used to feeling like this, so she's not great at articulating how she feels. Man, its hard when little ones are sick. 😞

    lonelyahava
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie's getting an award for reading this morning at the school assembly.

    Proud momma moment, she can and does current identify all of her alphabet, capital and lower case.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    3 year old has had a rough morning. She woke up whining and crying a bit, which is really unusual. She seems to have a headache in the middle of her forehead, and she's thrown up a very small amount. She's been really weak, tired, and snuggly. No fever, though. I gave her a chewable tylenol tablet an hour and a half ago (post throw up), but her head still hurts. She's hungry, too. I gave her a popsicle about 15 minutes ago and she's done ok with that. Not sure what to give her next. She's pretty good at communicating but she's not used to feeling like this, so she's not great at articulating how she feels. Man, its hard when little ones are sick. 😞

    Has she been drinking enough? Also a popsicle does come with enough sugar and she'll be happy to have something she enjoys eating, but she might benefit from a bit of toast with butter and some soup, as well. Just something light on the stomach to start with.

  • amethystoakamethystoak Registered User regular
    Aldo wrote: »
    3 year old has had a rough morning. She woke up whining and crying a bit, which is really unusual. She seems to have a headache in the middle of her forehead, and she's thrown up a very small amount. She's been really weak, tired, and snuggly. No fever, though. I gave her a chewable tylenol tablet an hour and a half ago (post throw up), but her head still hurts. She's hungry, too. I gave her a popsicle about 15 minutes ago and she's done ok with that. Not sure what to give her next. She's pretty good at communicating but she's not used to feeling like this, so she's not great at articulating how she feels. Man, its hard when little ones are sick. 😞

    Has she been drinking enough? Also a popsicle does come with enough sugar and she'll be happy to have something she enjoys eating, but she might benefit from a bit of toast with butter and some soup, as well. Just something light on the stomach to start with.

    Yeah, I've had her take sips of water consistently. She's had jello, applesauce, and toast at this point without throwing up again, so I think she's doing better. She still says her head hurts, but she's managed to get herself off the couch and has been happily coloring at the table for a while. ^_^

    Kayne Red Robe
  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Glad to hear!

    amethystoak
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Suddenly the concept of "Mother's Day" has clicked with the child.

    She went into super hyper overdrive tonight at the mall and was like.... crazy.

    so I've got a card and some kind of bag from the jewelry store that i'm not allowed to know about.

    amethystoakKalnaurBrodykimeShadowfiremrpakuCalicaKayne Red RobeJaysonFourLindsay Lohan
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited May 8
    Ugh he fell over in the bath and chipped his front tooth. Not a major chip and he's not in pain and there wasn't any blood but still :(

    Gonna be years before his milk teeth fall out...

    SharpyVII on
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
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  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • discriderdiscrider Registered User regular
    My 2.5 year old doesn't like a lot of things.
    Doesn't last more than a minute though.
    Unless he's cranky cause tired or hungry.

    Or it devolves into:
    'No brushing teeth'
    'Yes brushing teeth'
    'No no!'
    'Yes yes.'
    'No yes yes'
    'Yes, yes yes'
    'No yes yes yes'
    'Yes yes yes yes'
    'No.. yes yes yes yes'
    'Yes yes yes yes yes'
    'No yes yes yes yes'

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  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited May 10
    My two year old has hit a really fussy with food stage.

    He will rarely try anything new. I'm told this is a phase so hopefully it'll pass soon but it's very frustrating. Really liked making him new stuff to try.

    Refused his lunch as nursery today which I think is the first time he's ever done that.

    He's generally a lot crankier now, if he doesn't get exactly what he wants he'll have a tantrum.

    He's quite hard work now but sometimes he'll just run up to me and give me a kiss and all is forgiven.

    SharpyVII on
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    That fucking sucks, threenager is a real thing. She's probably experimenting with this kind of language. My 5 year old went through a whole stage, maybe around 3-4 of basically telling me he only wanted mommy for maybe six months to a year.

    :so_raven:
    Shadowfire
  • PeenPeen tw1tch0rz occasionallyRegistered User regular
    SharpyVII wrote: »
    My two year old has hit a really fussy with food stage.

    He will rarely try anything new. I'm told this is a phase so hopefully it'll pass soon but it's very frustrating. Really liked making him new stuff to try.

    Refused his lunch as nursery today which I think is the first time he's ever done that.

    He's generally a lot crankier now, if he doesn't get exactly what he wants he'll have a tantrum.

    He's quite hard work now but sometimes he'll just run up to me and give me a kiss and all is forgiven.

    This is half my own theory and half childhood development stuff but your kid's probably hitting the stage where his language development is good enough for him to communicate pretty well and with that comes an expectation of control, like "hey I figured out how to ask for a cookie and that was some complicated shit but I did it so ok I asked for the cookie and they should give it to me now." That's the stage with both of my kids where choices became really crucial so that they could exercise some control but within my boundaries, so to continue the example "no you may not have a cookie but you may have strawberries or blueberries, which would you like?" They get what they want but within the context you've defined, which keeps things manageable for everyone.

    lonelyahava
  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    My son is turning into an... ecofascist*?
    He really likes animals, nature, and all that fun stuff. Which is great and amazing.
    But he does not quite understand cities and the concept of people needing a place to live. Despite living in a city.
    So now he is talking about how construction workers are evil, how he wants all the buildings in the city to be knocked down so nature could come back, or, barring that, he wants to go back in time to before the buildings were built and stop them from being built. Because buildings are destroying nature.
    He and his sister also want to live in a house in the woods. But they hate, hate cars and riding in them. And like the amenities of the city.
    He's 5, so like, yeah. We're trying to talk to him about it and teach him. But it's all kinds of weird.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    My son is turning into an... ecofascist*?
    He really likes animals, nature, and all that fun stuff. Which is great and amazing.
    But he does not quite understand cities and the concept of people needing a place to live. Despite living in a city.
    So now he is talking about how construction workers are evil, how he wants all the buildings in the city to be knocked down so nature could come back, or, barring that, he wants to go back in time to before the buildings were built and stop them from being built. Because buildings are destroying nature.
    He and his sister also want to live in a house in the woods. But they hate, hate cars and riding in them. And like the amenities of the city.
    He's 5, so like, yeah. We're trying to talk to him about it and teach him. But it's all kinds of weird.

    I'm going to argue that 5 is basically the only point at which trying to embrace ecofascism makes any sense. :wink:

    Toby is just starting to say more and more things, and I'm thrilled, but the most (potentially troublesome but also awesome) event was him reading the word "eat", and the same day reading the word "rabbit" and "tiger". Which shows that (A) it's not just a fluke and (B) he's hiding a whole lot more capability in there than he lets out. :lol:

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    That fucking sucks, threenager is a real thing. She's probably experimenting with this kind of language. My 5 year old went through a whole stage, maybe around 3-4 of basically telling me he only wanted mommy for maybe six months to a year.

    It's only recently that I've been able to get it through to Ellie what those words that she's been yelling at me for the last two plus years mean.

    It hurts. Absolutely no doubt about that. But Ripley most likely hasn't fully grasped the full meaning.

    She knows that it hurts you, but she doesn't quite get the depth of the words. It will come. But it might be a while.

    Even until recently Ellie would blurt out "mommy I hate you" when she was meaning to say "mommy I love you" because they're both words with strong emotions attached, but she got the terms confused. She's gotten much better at regulating her language lately.



    I used to look at it much in the same way as motor skills. She had too develop her gross motor skills first, with big sweeping, exaggerated movements, often knocking things down in her path, before she was able to really get the fine motor control.

    She had to be able to move her arms at her command before she could build Lego. It's the same thing for language, (saying Ma-ma before Mother), and for emotional control.


    It does actually get better. This is one of those few things that I will say that for. It does get better.

    Kayne Red RobeVivixenne
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    I appreciate the comments everyone.

    One thing I can't decide about is her saying she doesn't want hugs or kisses from me. Yes she's three years old, but it doesn't feel right to hug or kiss her when she's said that.

    On the other hand she's three years old and it doesn't feel right to withhold physical affection either?

    I want her to know she can always exercise body autonomy and the importance of consent, but am I too deep in the weeds about this?

    It reminds me of my niece who my brother and sister in law would prompt to give me a hug when I'd visit. None of us are especially close so I told them I'd appreciate it if they didn't suggest that in the future, my niece doesn't owe anyone physical contact.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    My kids constantly say, "I love mommy, not daddy" and "Mommy is my best friend." It's practically a meme at our house now and I just play it up by fake crying or frowning. And truthfully, I'm glad that if they do say these things, they focus on loving mom more than me. She will freely admit that she has a harder time coping with things than I do, and hearing something like that from her kids (even in jest) would hurt her a lot inside.

    But you know damn well who they come to when they're hurt or crying. My son went right by his mom when he hurt himself yesterday. Yeah, we all know what's up. :)

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    When Ellie used to tell me that she didn't want hugs, I always respected that, but reminded her that if she changed her mind, I will always give hugs and kisses when she wants.

    She's a very affectionate kid most times, but doesn't really like kisses. Especially in the lips. But she'll give me kisses on the cheek, hand, arm, nose, and I'm allowed to do the same. But only after asking.

    You're not withholding physical affection, you are respecting her rights to not want to be touched. You can work with her to find other ways to be affectionate. "Ripley, can daddy hold your hand? Can I give it a light squeeze? Can I have a hug?"

    And when your have worked out a basic simple love language between you, it can then evolve into more later.

    Ellie and I started with holding hands. Which then grew into impromptu hugs and kisses on the cheek. Now she'll still climb into my lap and just lay her head on my chest for hugs and cuddles. But, much like a cat, it's been on her terms.


    It's tough not being the immediate emotional support parent. It's very tough not being the one that they look to for comfort and affection. It's even harder at times while being this parent but also being the mom because society tells us that we're the ones that should be the comfort and nurturing. But that's my brain issues.


    Let her have some control over contact and she may just warm up even more and be willing to give more hugs and kisses on the future. But let her know it's her choice.

    Ellie gives me affection in so many different ways now. She's still not big on kisses, but we do "ugga nugga" from Daniel Tiger, or just lots of big hugs "the strongest hugs in the world, momma". And I'm allowed to give her kisses on her cheek as a default.

    You're doing just fine. It's tricky, but you're asking the right questions and your not overthinking things.

    You got this

    kimeDisruptedCapitalistElvenshaeKalnaurSporkAndrewKayne Red RobeVivixenne
  • ShadowfireShadowfire Vermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    That fucking sucks, threenager is a real thing. She's probably experimenting with this kind of language. My 5 year old went through a whole stage, maybe around 3-4 of basically telling me he only wanted mommy for maybe six months to a year.

    Terrible twos
    Threenager
    Fourrible

    There's no real "bad year," every one has its challenges. I definitely went through the "I don't want you, I want mommy" stage with my kiddo for a good couple months.

    The next six months she wanted me more though, so that was alright.

    WiiU: Windrunner ; Guild Wars 2: Shadowfire.3940 ; PSN: Bradcopter
    kime
  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    @lonelyahava I appreciate the kind words and advice.

    I've never been convinced my daughter actually likes me, or has ever really liked me, so when she says those things it just hits like a chisel to an exposed nerve.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    That fucking sucks, threenager is a real thing. She's probably experimenting with this kind of language. My 5 year old went through a whole stage, maybe around 3-4 of basically telling me he only wanted mommy for maybe six months to a year.

    Terrible twos
    Threenager
    Fourrible

    There's no real "bad year," every one has its challenges. I definitely went through the "I don't want you, I want mommy" stage with my kiddo for a good couple months.

    The next six months she wanted me more though, so that was alright.

    We used the term "Fuck you Fours" :P

    :so_raven:
    ElvenshaemrpakuKalnaurlonelyahavaShadowfire
  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Tiny Wonder has entered the repeater phase:

    "Dad...dad...dad...Can I have a pops'cle, Dad? Pops'cle? Can I ha one? Pwease? Dad? Dad? D-AAA-D. D-AAA-D. Can I have pops'cle? Awwww....why not? Why not, Dad?" Gets response, runs off screaming and sobbing to living room. Five seconds later, "MOM! Dad won't gimme pops'cle! (Crying, crying, crying, and then...) "Mom, can I ha a pops'cle? Please?" Rinse repeat until timeout

    Concerns with the first two were, "Are they talking *enough* for three years olds?" and the concern with this one is, "Please, please just shut up for ten seconds, please."

    ElvenshaelonelyahavaBrodySporkAndrewadejaan
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    lonelyahava I appreciate the kind words and advice.

    I've never been convinced my daughter actually likes me, or has ever really liked me, so when she says those things it just hits like a chisel to an exposed nerve.

    I know those feels intimately.

    It was only really until about age 4 that Ellie really started to warm up to me and look for me for things, rather than eventually giving up and defaulting to me because dad wasn't around.

    We tried everything to get me into her line of sight as an actual viable option for more than just food. The more she talked and the more she was able to communicate, the closer she and I have become.

    Whether that's just her personality, or it's something to do with me and mine, not sure.

    But she's 5 now and just about 60/40 with her affection. Dad is still her number one best friend and play buddy forever, but mommy has become cool and gives hugs and makes food and is pretty neat.

    Hang in there buddy. It's hard, no doubt. But that's why we're here

    MegaMan001
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Corvus wrote: »
    Shadowfire wrote: »
    Corvus wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    Jesus fucking Christ.

    In the last twelve hours Ripley, the three year old, has said the following to me.

    1. "I don't want your hugs."
    2. "I don't like your kisses."
    3. "He (the six month old who was crying and I was trying to sooth) doesn't want you."

    I keep responding with how those things hurt my feelings, but I won't hug or kiss her anymore if she doesn't want.

    That fucking sucks, threenager is a real thing. She's probably experimenting with this kind of language. My 5 year old went through a whole stage, maybe around 3-4 of basically telling me he only wanted mommy for maybe six months to a year.

    Terrible twos
    Threenager
    Fourrible

    There's no real "bad year," every one has its challenges. I definitely went through the "I don't want you, I want mommy" stage with my kiddo for a good couple months.

    The next six months she wanted me more though, so that was alright.

    We used the term "Fuck you Fours" :P

    I should say that this only lasted for maybe the first third of year four, and we were also in the middle of a multi year moving and house renovation saga that involved packing up and moving all our shit multiple times. Overall, he handled it really well.

    :so_raven:
    Kalnaur
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    edited May 12
    Toby's time with the word/picture game "first 100 words".

    Me: Okay Toby, what's this animal? *shows sheep card*
    Toby: *tapping card* Sheep.
    Me: Good! And this one? *holds up horse card*
    Toby: . . . sheep.
    Me: No, this is a horse, buddy!
    Toby: *tapping card* Horse! *quietly to self* sheep.

    He's also, it seems, started to recognize words and read them (or at least attempt to) which led to this:

    Me: What's this animal, do you know? Can you read it? *shows giraffe card*
    Toby: Non, dad.
    Me: It's called a giraffe, can you say giraffe?
    Toby: *gently but firmly reaching out to push the card down to the table's surface while staring me down*, Non, dadt.
    Me: Okay, what about this word? *shows the eat card*
    Toby: Eat! *said with a huge grin*

    So he, uh, has some very specific opinions on what the current word-subjects should be as well. :lol:

    Kalnaur on
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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Some words are just more fun to say, donchaknow.

    Kayne Red RobeElvenshaeBrodykimeShadowfireKalnaurPeenMulysaSemproniusMunkus BeaverMegaMan001
  • Banzai5150Banzai5150 Registered User regular
    It just got real today. Kate is officially signed up and ready to go for Kindergarten! It starts Aug 10th and she'll be taking the bus. I'm so excited for her, but sad for me!

    mrpakuMNC DoverkimelonelyahavaPeenKalnaurBrodyKayne Red RobeJaysonFour
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    We're starting swim lessons on Saturday morning! Hoping to get her used to the water in preparation for our beach vacation this summer.

    kimeElvenshaelonelyahavaKalnaurAldoBrodyVivixennespono
  • CorvusCorvus . VancouverRegistered User regular
    Banzai5150 wrote: »
    It just got real today. Kate is officially signed up and ready to go for Kindergarten! It starts Aug 10th and she'll be taking the bus. I'm so excited for her, but sad for me!

    Your school year starts in August? :eh: My 5 year old is starting Kindergarten as well, but our school year doesn't start until September 7th.

    :so_raven:
    MNC DoverThroKalnaur
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    Looks like I got another monster on my hands

    h0hf4raqm6ez.jpg

    His sister mostly just has a massive head.

    wuklbodd8b1j.jpg

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  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    edited May 13
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    I appreciate the comments everyone.

    One thing I can't decide about is her saying she doesn't want hugs or kisses from me. Yes she's three years old, but it doesn't feel right to hug or kiss her when she's said that.

    On the other hand she's three years old and it doesn't feel right to withhold physical affection either?

    I want her to know she can always exercise body autonomy and the importance of consent, but am I too deep in the weeds about this?

    It reminds me of my niece who my brother and sister in law would prompt to give me a hug when I'd visit. None of us are especially close so I told them I'd appreciate it if they didn't suggest that in the future, my niece doesn't owe anyone physical contact.

    Just to add on to what Ahava has already said, but more from a neuroscience lens, since I don’t have lived experience with a three year old. Yet. Oh god.

    Three year olds have no concept of time. Forever is the same as a year, a minute, a day or a month. So she might not want a hug from you {right now}, and I agree that it’s important to respect that request, but she might not understand that she hasn’t given a time limit on that statement. Which then means she doesn’t know how to rescind it.

    Asking is totally appropriate - “l know you didn’t want a hug earlier, but would you like a hug now?” 3 year olds do well with basic prompts and questions… not with an expectation that they will do the prompt, but more that the prompt gives them something to consider. And just respect it if she says no again. And she might say yes one time, and just make it best gosh dang hug ever and thank her for being able to give her a hug.

    Some kids also just don’t like physical contact, same as adults. If it fits for you as a parent, you can probably also try “giving hugs is one of the ways I tell someone I love them, but you don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to… how do YOU tell people you love them?” She might not be have an answer, but you’ve broached the subject - there’s more than one way to communicate closeness and affection. And you can model those other ways by doing them with other family members, her toys, or with her, and just narrating it for her. This doesn’t sit well with everyone, though, so it’s just an idea, but if she does figure out a way, run with it. She’s also kinda testing what happens when she says words… try to remember if you can that it’s not personal.

    We are practicing asking for cuddles with Theia, and she’s doing really well even for 15 months old. She will seek us out and hug us when she wants to, but if we’re initiating, we just practice asking - can mummy give you a cuddle? Or do you want give daddy a cuddle? Most of the time she’ll just do it cuz she likes it herself, but occasionally she’ll shake her head no and we just clearly proclaim - “okay, I see that you don’t want to cuddle, and that’s ok! Thank you for letting me know what you want, I’ll be here if you change your mind” - so that she still has the benefit of some positive feedback even in response to her saying no.

    It’s basically about making both the no AND a yes appealing to them, and not just by abiding by their request. Thank them for saying no or yes (when it’s an appropriate response to a request of course, not for when they’re being told to stop climbing a bookshelf or when you’re holding a boundary) so that they don’t feel like they gave the “wrong” answer to something. It helps promote their voice in a developmentally appropriate way.

    Vivixenne on
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    lonelyahava
  • VivixenneVivixenne Remember your training, and we'll get through this just fine. Registered User regular
    m!ttens wrote: »
    We're starting swim lessons on Saturday morning! Hoping to get her used to the water in preparation for our beach vacation this summer.

    How old??? We LOVE swimming lessons, mostly cuz it gave me something to do with her, and it did take Theia a good 7-8 months to start actively loving them herself.

    XBOX: NOVADELPHINI | DISCORD: NOVADELPHINI #7387 | TWITTER
  • m!ttensm!ttens Registered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    m!ttens wrote: »
    We're starting swim lessons on Saturday morning! Hoping to get her used to the water in preparation for our beach vacation this summer.

    How old??? We LOVE swimming lessons, mostly cuz it gave me something to do with her, and it did take Theia a good 7-8 months to start actively loving them herself.

    Bea is about 2.5 years old now. I've been doing some things during bath time (getting her to put her face in the water and blow bubbles, lay on her back in the water, etc) to try to get her used to having water on/near her face. I have some pretty distinct early life memories of going to swim lessons with my dad so either it was traumatic enough that it stuck into my tiny brain or was actually really enjoyable (hopefully the latter :biggrin:). The class is 7 weeks long which will end before we leave for vacation.

  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    Oh man I have got to get the boy signed up for a swim class

    I wanted to do it last year, but something something covid something something

    I wonder if the swim schools are opening back up yet

    640qocnq4ske.gif
    Thro
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    spono wrote: »
    Oh man I have got to get the boy signed up for a swim class

    I wanted to do it last year, but something something covid something something

    I wonder if the swim schools are opening back up yet

    Probably, a lot of pools say they are safe due to their high chlorine levels.

    I am no longer infectious with hand foot and mouth. However as I had a whole heap of micro blisters on my hands, all the skin is currently falling off my hands and I hate it.

  • MegaMan001MegaMan001 CRNA Rochester, MNRegistered User regular
    Vivixenne wrote: »
    MegaMan001 wrote: »
    I appreciate the comments everyone.

    One thing I can't decide about is her saying she doesn't want hugs or kisses from me. Yes she's three years old, but it doesn't feel right to hug or kiss her when she's said that.

    On the other hand she's three years old and it doesn't feel right to withhold physical affection either?

    I want her to know she can always exercise body autonomy and the importance of consent, but am I too deep in the weeds about this?

    It reminds me of my niece who my brother and sister in law would prompt to give me a hug when I'd visit. None of us are especially close so I told them I'd appreciate it if they didn't suggest that in the future, my niece doesn't owe anyone physical contact.

    Just to add on to what Ahava has already said, but more from a neuroscience lens, since I don’t have lived experience with a three year old. Yet. Oh god.

    Three year olds have no concept of time. Forever is the same as a year, a minute, a day or a month. So she might not want a hug from you {right now}, and I agree that it’s important to respect that request, but she might not understand that she hasn’t given a time limit on that statement. Which then means she doesn’t know how to rescind it.

    Asking is totally appropriate - “l know you didn’t want a hug earlier, but would you like a hug now?” 3 year olds do well with basic prompts and questions… not with an expectation that they will do the prompt, but more that the prompt gives them something to consider. And just respect it if she says no again. And she might say yes one time, and just make it best gosh dang hug ever and thank her for being able to give her a hug.

    Some kids also just don’t like physical contact, same as adults. If it fits for you as a parent, you can probably also try “giving hugs is one of the ways I tell someone I love them, but you don’t have to hug me if you don’t want to… how do YOU tell people you love them?” She might not be have an answer, but you’ve broached the subject - there’s more than one way to communicate closeness and affection. And you can model those other ways by doing them with other family members, her toys, or with her, and just narrating it for her. This doesn’t sit well with everyone, though, so it’s just an idea, but if she does figure out a way, run with it. She’s also kinda testing what happens when she says words… try to remember if you can that it’s not personal.

    We are practicing asking for cuddles with Theia, and she’s doing really well even for 15 months old. She will seek us out and hug us when she wants to, but if we’re initiating, we just practice asking - can mummy give you a cuddle? Or do you want give daddy a cuddle? Most of the time she’ll just do it cuz she likes it herself, but occasionally she’ll shake her head no and we just clearly proclaim - “okay, I see that you don’t want to cuddle, and that’s ok! Thank you for letting me know what you want, I’ll be here if you change your mind” - so that she still has the benefit of some positive feedback even in response to her saying no.

    It’s basically about making both the no AND a yes appealing to them, and not just by abiding by their request. Thank them for saying no or yes (when it’s an appropriate response to a request of course, not for when they’re being told to stop climbing a bookshelf or when you’re holding a boundary) so that they don’t feel like they gave the “wrong” answer to something. It helps promote their voice in a developmentally appropriate way.

    This is a bunch of great ideas, thank you.

    Thank you so well for sharing your experience as well, @lonelyahava . I really appreciate this thread and knowing my experiences aren't unique.

    I am in the business of saving lives.
    ElvenshaeDisruptedCapitalistAldolonelyahavaVivixenne
  • sponospono Mining for Nose Diamonds Registered User regular
    Blake T wrote: »
    spono wrote: »
    Oh man I have got to get the boy signed up for a swim class

    I wanted to do it last year, but something something covid something something

    I wonder if the swim schools are opening back up yet

    Probably, a lot of pools say they are safe due to their high chlorine levels.

    I am no longer infectious with hand foot and mouth. However as I had a whole heap of micro blisters on my hands, all the skin is currently falling off my hands and I hate it.

    That's great! Also gross!

    640qocnq4ske.gif
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    Me and my wife spent the morning looking at my constipated sons butt to see if there any ..... movement shall we say.

    How's everyone else's morning going? :P

    ElvenshaesponoKalnaurkimeKayne Red RobeShadowfireDisruptedCapitalist
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